9.5/102 votes#1 - Episode 1
Season 3 Episode 1 - Aired 11/17/2005
At Hill Grange Health Spa, Bubbles De Vere receives a shock when she bumps into her ex-husband, Roman De Vere, and his new wife, ex-Olympic gymnast Desiree, who are honeymooning at the Spa. On the Mike McShane estate in Bruise, Dudley receives delivery of his new bride, Ting Tong Macadangdang, loving chosen from his Thai Brides For You brochure. Meanwhile, Mrs. Emery's inability to control her bodily functions in the local supermarket results in a nasty wet patch in the frozen foods section.
Director: Declan Lowney
Writer: Matt Lucas
9.3/103 votes#2 - Episode 6
Season 3 Episode 6 - Aired 12/24/2005
Dafydd has to decide whether to remain the only gay in the village, or leave to join the other gays in London. Florence has to decide whether or not to hang up her crinolines. And Carol's computer has to decide whether or not to say no to a customer hoping to go on a round-the-world cruise. Elsewhere, Marjorie learns that sorry really is the hardest word; Mrs. Emery visits her local GP complaining of knee trouble; and Linda's students are revolting. If the truth be told, she couldn't agree more..
Director: Declan Lowney
Writer: Matt Lucas
9.0/103 votes#3 - Episode 2
Season 3 Episode 2 - Aired 11/24/2005
Andy tries his luck at a TV phone-in competition. Mrs. Emery visits the post office. Vicky starts her new job working on an adult chat line. Dudley catches Ting-Tong doing something unlady-like in the toilet. After another fight with bubbles, Diseree loses more than her towel. Linda assists with a course change for a female student with a slight facial hair problem. Majorie becomes jealous when her new boyfriend starts being friendly with Tanya. Daffyd introduces Myfanwy to his new... girlfriend? Mr. Mann is looking to buy a painting of a disappointed horse. Don takes Pat to an Indian restaurant, where the food has an unusual effect on him. Maggie is recovering well from a kidney transplant, until she's given the name of the doner. Sebastian serenades the PM in the Houses of PaliamentAndy decides to make a trip along the River Thames slightly more interesting.
Director: Declan Lowney
Writer: Matt Lucas
9.0/103 votes#4 - Episode 3
Season 3 Episode 3 - Aired 12/1/2005
A trip to the Hill Grange Health Spa sees Roman getting a little more than he bargained for during a facial, when Bubbles takes his beauty treatment into her own rather ample hands. Down on the Mike McShane estate, it appears that Ting Tong has yet more secrets to divulge, much to Dudley's horror and exasperation. A weakness for women in green Lycra, however, gives Ting Tong the opportunity to persuade him to let her stay - just one more night.
Director: Declan Lowney
Writer: Matt Lucas
9.0/103 votes#5 - Episode 5
Season 3 Episode 5 - Aired 12/15/2005
In Little Fumble, Sir Norman Fry has some explaining to do, following an incident with a glace cherry. Over in Sponge Bob Square Pants, Carol Beer is going through Sun Seekers in-house insurance policies. Vicky Pollard is displaying her woeful child-minding skills in her new career as a babysitter. Sid Pegg is up in arms about the defacing of the Larchwood Close street sign. And, in Mr. Mann's fancy dress shop, Mr. Mann is trying on a post-Mary Whitehouse Experience David Baddiel costume.
Director: Declan Lowney
Writer: Matt Lucas
8.8/1023 votes#6 - Mom City
Season 3 Episode 11 - Aired 5/23/2023
An unexpected guest has Ted on edge. When Richmond travel to Manchester for a big match, Roy and Keeley become concerned about Jamie.
Director: Declan Lowney
Writer: N/A
8.8/109 votes#7 - A Song for Europe
Season 2 Episode 5 - Aired 4/5/1996
Fathers Ted and Dougal enter A Song For Europe with My Lovely Horse. The tune is stolen from the b-side of a Norwegian song that didn't even win A Song For Norway but the lyrics are all their own work. Somehow they get through to Eurovision and score.... nil points.
Director: Declan Lowney
Writer: Graham Linehan
8.8/1026 votes#8 - So Long, Farewell
Season 3 Episode 12 - Aired 5/30/2023
AFC Richmond play their final game of the season.
Director: Declan Lowney
Writer: Brendan Hunt
8.7/103 votes#9 - Episode 4
Season 3 Episode 4 - Aired 12/8/2005
A new resident arrives at the Mike McShane estate - Ting Tong's mother. Needless to say, Dudley's not too happy about the newest addition to the household, particularly when he learns that she's not planning to leave any time soon. Down on Larchwood Close, Neighborhood Watch leader Sid Pegg calls an urgent meeting following the arrival of a caravan in the area and, over at the Hill Grange Health Spa, Bubbles learns the reason why Roman left her for Desiree.
Director: Declan Lowney
Writer: Matt Lucas
8.6/105 votes#10 - Competition Time
Season 1 Episode 4 - Aired 5/12/1995
It's the 'All Priests Stars In Their Eyes Lookalike Competition', and showbusiness personality Henry Sellers, a former alcoholic, has landed on the island to host the festivities. Father Ted is determined not to go as Mother Teresa again, but he isn't the only one to think of Elvis. It takes some quick thinking to beat Father Byrne's team from nearby Rugged Island.
Director: Declan Lowney
Writer: Graham Linehan
8.5/104 votes#11 - Cigarettes and Alcohol and Rollerblading
Season 2 Episode 8 - Aired 4/26/1996
Ted and co. enter a giving-things-up-for-Lent contest and soon discover that abstinence is easier preached than done. Father Jack sobers up for the first time in years, but Dougal and Ted find their resolve wavering. To strengthen their vows Ted calls in a nun to supervise them. She turns out to be a sadist of the first water, and the results are inevitable.
Director: Declan Lowney
Writer: Graham Linehan
8.4/109 votes#12 - New Jack City
Season 2 Episode 9 - Aired 5/3/1996
After discovering Father Jack is suffering yet again(!) from "hairy hand syndrome," Ted is delighted to send Jack, by "doctor's orders," to St. Clabberts Old Folks Home (otherwise known as 'Jurassic Park'). Unfortunately, Jack's replacement happens to be one of the nastiest priests ever - Father Fintan Stack. Along with his disregard for the church, Stack has a rather irritating habit of playing jungle music loudly at 3 o'clock in the morning, and a plan is hatched to get Jack back to sort out Stack.
Director: Declan Lowney
Writer: Graham Linehan
8.4/105 votes#13 - The Mainland
Season 3 Episode 4 - Aired 4/3/1998
A perfectly routine trip to the mainland results in Dougal almost dying from malnutrition, Mrs Doyle being chucked in the clink, Ted nearly being beaten up by Victor Meldrew, and Father Jack joining Alcoholics Anonymous. A chance encounter with old friends Noel Furlong and the St. Luke's Youth Group in some spooky caves spells spelaeological trouble for our heroes.
Director: Declan Lowney
Writer: Graham Linehan
8.3/106 votes#14 - Good Luck, Father Ted
Season 1 Episode 1 - Aired 4/21/1995
Ted gets his chance to be on TV when he is to be interviewed by a magazine programme. But 'FunLand', the most pathetic travelling fair ever invented has come to Craggy Island, and while Ted is distracted with Father Jack, Dougal seizes his moment of glory.
Director: Declan Lowney
Writer: Graham Linehan
8.2/104 votes#15 - Tentacles of Doom
Season 2 Episode 3 - Aired 3/21/1996
The Holy Stone of Clonrichert is to be upgraded to a class 2 relic, and unfortunately this entails three Bishops visiting the island - Father Jack must be housetrained quickly. Only one of the bishops dies - Ted therefore considers this to have been a relatively successful visit.
Director: Declan Lowney
Writer: Graham Linehan
8.2/108 votes#16 - The Plague
Season 2 Episode 6 - Aired 4/12/1996
Rabbit-phobic Bishop Brennan pays a visit to investigate reports of Father Jack sleepwalking naked. Unfortunately Dougal has overrun the house with rabbits, and a Terry & June-style farce ensues as Ted and Dougal attempt to keep Father Jack in bed, and the ever-multiplying rabbits away from the bishop.
Director: Declan Lowney
Writer: Graham Linehan
8.1/1034 votes#17 - Make Rebecca Great Again
Season 1 Episode 7 - Aired 9/11/2020
Rebecca celebrates her first anniversary as a divorcée as the team plays a match in Liverpool.
Director: Declan Lowney
Writer: N/A
8.1/1023 votes#18 - Carol of the Bells
Season 2 Episode 4 - Aired 8/13/2021
It’s Christmas in Richmond. Rebecca enlists Ted for a secret mission, Roy and Keeley search for a miracle, and the Higginses open up their home.
Director: Declan Lowney
Writer: Joe Kelly
8.0/105 votes#19 - Entertaining Father Stone
Season 1 Episode 2 - Aired 4/28/1995
The world's most boring priest comes to stay, and he just won't go away. After his worst ever birthday party, Father Ted prays for deliverance from Father Stone, but a lightning strike wasn't what he expected.
Director: Declan Lowney
Writer: Graham Linehan
8.0/105 votes#20 - The Passion of Saint Tibulus
Season 1 Episode 3 - Aired 5/5/1995
The local cinema is showing a film condemned by the Church for its X-rated and blasphemous depiction of Saint Tibulus. Bishop Brennan is dispatched to the island to ensure that the priests take to the picket line in protest. But their defiant stand only gives more publicity to the film, which becomes an overnight success. It is left to Father Jack to stop the Bishop from sending them packing.
Director: Declan Lowney
Writer: Graham Linehan
8.0/106 votes#21 - Hell
Season 2 Episode 1 - Aired 3/8/1996
Ted, Dougal and Jack go on an all-expenses-spared holiday to Kilkelly Caravan Park. They meet a young couple, and are soon in trouble with the police. Entertainment comes in the shape of St Kevin's Stump and the Magic Road. Father Jack goes missing; Father Noel Furlong and his youth group turn up to put the final nail in the coffin of the holiday.
Director: Declan Lowney
Writer: Graham Linehan
8.0/104 votes#22 - Flight Into Terror
Season 2 Episode 10 - Aired 5/10/1996
Ted and co. end up crammed in an aeroplane along with every other priest who has appeared in their lives after a visit to the Shrine of Kinlettle. In a usual fit of stupidity, Dougal manages to empty the fuel tanks on the plane. To make matters worse, there are only two parachutes, so Ted devises a way for the priests to compete for the parachutes. Unfortunately, Jack has other plans.
Director: Declan Lowney
Writer: Graham Linehan
7.9/1011 votes#23 - Old Grey Whistle Theft
Season 2 Episode 4 - Aired 3/29/1996
Ted goes on a picnic, Mr Benson's whistle is stolen and Dougal learns an important lesson about true friendship. Ted narrowly avoids incriminating himself to save Dougal's worthless hide
Director: Declan Lowney
Writer: Graham Linehan
7.8/1033 votes#24 - The Diamond Dogs
Season 1 Episode 8 - Aired 9/18/2020
Ted and Roy are both having relationship problems. Ted consults the Diamond Dogs while Roy lays it on the line with Keeley.
Director: Declan Lowney
Writer: Leann Bowen
7.8/109 votes#25 - Think Fast, Father Ted
Season 2 Episode 2 - Aired 3/15/1996
The roof of the Parochial House is leaking, and Ted decides on a raffle to raise the funds, with a car as the prize. Unfortunately, an accident with a cyclist puts something of a dent in the vehicle. A similar car is borrowed from the Dancing Priest in order to save the raffle; however, the priests must then win in order to return the car. Despite this intrigue, the roof does not get repaired.
Director: Declan Lowney
Writer: Graham Linehan
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Declan Lowney Ratings Summary
"Episode 1" is the best rated episode directed by Declan Lowney. It scored 9.5/10 based on 2 votes. It was written by Matt Lucas. It aired on 11/17/2005 and is rated 0.2 points higher than their second-best episode, "Episode 6".