The Best Episodes Directed By Declan Lowney

At Hill Grange Health Spa, Bubbles De Vere receives a shock when she bumps into her ex-husband, Roman De Vere, and his new wife, ex-Olympic gymnast Desiree, who are honeymooning at the Spa. On the Mike McShane estate in Bruise, Dudley receives delivery of his new bride, Ting Tong Macadangdang, loving chosen from his Thai Brides For You brochure. Meanwhile, Mrs. Emery's inability to control her bodily functions in the local supermarket results in a nasty wet patch in the frozen foods section.

Dafydd has to decide whether to remain the only gay in the village, or leave to join the other gays in London. Florence has to decide whether or not to hang up her crinolines. And Carol's computer has to decide whether or not to say no to a customer hoping to go on a round-the-world cruise. Elsewhere, Marjorie learns that sorry really is the hardest word; Mrs. Emery visits her local GP complaining of knee trouble; and Linda's students are revolting. If the truth be told, she couldn't agree more..

Andy tries his luck at a TV phone-in competition. Mrs. Emery visits the post office. Vicky starts her new job working on an adult chat line. Dudley catches Ting-Tong doing something unlady-like in the toilet. After another fight with bubbles, Diseree loses more than her towel. Linda assists with a course change for a female student with a slight facial hair problem. Majorie becomes jealous when her new boyfriend starts being friendly with Tanya. Daffyd introduces Myfanwy to his new... girlfriend? Mr. Mann is looking to buy a painting of a disappointed horse. Don takes Pat to an Indian restaurant, where the food has an unusual effect on him. Maggie is recovering well from a kidney transplant, until she's given the name of the doner. Sebastian serenades the PM in the Houses of PaliamentAndy decides to make a trip along the River Thames slightly more interesting.

A trip to the Hill Grange Health Spa sees Roman getting a little more than he bargained for during a facial, when Bubbles takes his beauty treatment into her own rather ample hands. Down on the Mike McShane estate, it appears that Ting Tong has yet more secrets to divulge, much to Dudley's horror and exasperation. A weakness for women in green Lycra, however, gives Ting Tong the opportunity to persuade him to let her stay - just one more night.

In Little Fumble, Sir Norman Fry has some explaining to do, following an incident with a glace cherry. Over in Sponge Bob Square Pants, Carol Beer is going through Sun Seekers in-house insurance policies. Vicky Pollard is displaying her woeful child-minding skills in her new career as a babysitter. Sid Pegg is up in arms about the defacing of the Larchwood Close street sign. And, in Mr. Mann's fancy dress shop, Mr. Mann is trying on a post-Mary Whitehouse Experience David Baddiel costume.

Fathers Ted and Dougal enter A Song For Europe with My Lovely Horse. The tune is stolen from the b-side of a Norwegian song that didn't even win A Song For Norway but the lyrics are all their own work. Somehow they get through to Eurovision and score.... nil points.

A new resident arrives at the Mike McShane estate - Ting Tong's mother. Needless to say, Dudley's not too happy about the newest addition to the household, particularly when he learns that she's not planning to leave any time soon. Down on Larchwood Close, Neighborhood Watch leader Sid Pegg calls an urgent meeting following the arrival of a caravan in the area and, over at the Hill Grange Health Spa, Bubbles learns the reason why Roman left her for Desiree.

It's the 'All Priests Stars In Their Eyes Lookalike Competition', and showbusiness personality Henry Sellers, a former alcoholic, has landed on the island to host the festivities. Father Ted is determined not to go as Mother Teresa again, but he isn't the only one to think of Elvis. It takes some quick thinking to beat Father Byrne's team from nearby Rugged Island.

Ted and co. enter a giving-things-up-for-Lent contest and soon discover that abstinence is easier preached than done. Father Jack sobers up for the first time in years, but Dougal and Ted find their resolve wavering. To strengthen their vows Ted calls in a nun to supervise them. She turns out to be a sadist of the first water, and the results are inevitable.

After discovering Father Jack is suffering yet again(!) from "hairy hand syndrome," Ted is delighted to send Jack, by "doctor's orders," to St. Clabberts Old Folks Home (otherwise known as 'Jurassic Park'). Unfortunately, Jack's replacement happens to be one of the nastiest priests ever - Father Fintan Stack. Along with his disregard for the church, Stack has a rather irritating habit of playing jungle music loudly at 3 o'clock in the morning, and a plan is hatched to get Jack back to sort out Stack.

A perfectly routine trip to the mainland results in Dougal almost dying from malnutrition, Mrs Doyle being chucked in the clink, Ted nearly being beaten up by Victor Meldrew, and Father Jack joining Alcoholics Anonymous. A chance encounter with old friends Noel Furlong and the St. Luke's Youth Group in some spooky caves spells spelaeological trouble for our heroes.

AFC Richmond play their final game of the season.

Gen. Davidson arrives at Stroopsdorf to receive his second star; the colonel eagerly desires a promotion and needs Capt. Quinn's help to charm Gen. King; Maj. Shah dips his toes back into the dating pool.

Ted gets his chance to be on TV when he is to be interviewed by a magazine programme. But 'FunLand', the most pathetic travelling fair ever invented has come to Craggy Island, and while Ted is distracted with Father Jack, Dougal seizes his moment of glory.

The Holy Stone of Clonrichert is to be upgraded to a class 2 relic, and unfortunately this entails three Bishops visiting the island - Father Jack must be housetrained quickly. Only one of the bishops dies - Ted therefore considers this to have been a relatively successful visit.

An unexpected guest has Ted on edge. When Richmond travel to Manchester for a big match, Roy and Keeley become concerned about Jamie.

Rabbit-phobic Bishop Brennan pays a visit to investigate reports of Father Jack sleepwalking naked. Unfortunately Dougal has overrun the house with rabbits, and a Terry & June-style farce ensues as Ted and Dougal attempt to keep Father Jack in bed, and the ever-multiplying rabbits away from the bishop.

The world's most boring priest comes to stay, and he just won't go away. After his worst ever birthday party, Father Ted prays for deliverance from Father Stone, but a lightning strike wasn't what he expected.

The local cinema is showing a film condemned by the Church for its X-rated and blasphemous depiction of Saint Tibulus. Bishop Brennan is dispatched to the island to ensure that the priests take to the picket line in protest. But their defiant stand only gives more publicity to the film, which becomes an overnight success. It is left to Father Jack to stop the Bishop from sending them packing.

Ted and co. end up crammed in an aeroplane along with every other priest who has appeared in their lives after a visit to the Shrine of Kinlettle. In a usual fit of stupidity, Dougal manages to empty the fuel tanks on the plane. To make matters worse, there are only two parachutes, so Ted devises a way for the priests to compete for the parachutes. Unfortunately, Jack has other plans.

A blossoming romance between Father Ted and steamy novelist Polly Clarke threatens to come between a group of visiting nuns and their favourite priest. Among other things, Ted delivers an entire service in a matter of milliseconds, and becomes involved in an armed robbery.

Ted, Dougal and Jack go on an all-expenses-spared holiday to Kilkelly Caravan Park. They meet a young couple, and are soon in trouble with the police. Entertainment comes in the shape of St Kevin's Stump and the Magic Road. Father Jack goes missing; Father Noel Furlong and his youth group turn up to put the final nail in the coffin of the holiday.

Ted goes on a picnic, Mr Benson's whistle is stolen and Dougal learns an important lesson about true friendship. Ted narrowly avoids incriminating himself to save Dougal's worthless hide

It's the All-Priests Over-75s Five-A-Side Football challenge, and disaster looms when Ted's star player is nobbled by a bottle of Dreamy-Sleepy Nighty Snoozy-Snooze. Fortunately a pair of fake rubber arms and a remote-controlled wheelchair put our lads in with a chance of beating Dick Byrne this year. As long as they can fool the referee...

The roof of the Parochial House is leaking, and Ted decides on a raffle to raise the funds, with a car as the prize. Unfortunately, an accident with a cyclist puts something of a dent in the vehicle. A similar car is borrowed from the Dancing Priest in order to save the raffle; however, the priests must then win in order to return the car. Despite this intrigue, the roof does not get repaired.