- 9.0/102 votes
#1 - Boxing Opinion Spider Beard
Season 2 Episode 6 - Aired 12/1/2016
John's plan to encourage Samantha to skip her ballet class and take up boxing with his trainer, Troy, behind her mother Heather's back has unexpected consequences. Also, Jen tries to discreetly seek a second opinion when Tim tells her she needs tonsil surgery; Joan constantly scares Matt by hiding spiders around him; and Greg grows a wiry beard that irritates Jen.
Director: Jason Winer
Writer: Lesley Wake Webster
- 8.3/106 votes
#2 - Will Trash Book Spa
Season 1 Episode 14 - Aired 1/21/2016
When Greg and Jen slip away for a couples massage, the afternoon doesn’t turn out to be as relaxing as they expected. Also, Tim, Heather and the kids have a contest to see who can accumulate the least trash, Colleen asks Matt to illustrate a children’s book she is writing, and Jen helps Joan and John with their will.
Director: Jason Winer
Writer: Kirker Butler
- 8.1/1025 votes
#3 - Family Portrait
Season 1 Episode 24 - Aired 5/19/2010
Claire painstakingly plans for a new family portrait to be taken, but it seems like everything and everybody is working against her. Gloria and Manny go with Phil and Alex to a Lakers game and end up having a very awkward moment on the jumbotron; Luke interviews Jay for a school project, and Cameron gets a gig as a wedding singer while Mitchell is home alone with Lily and a wayward pigeon.
Director: Jason Winer
Writer: Ilana Wernick
- 8.0/101 votes
#4 - Pilot
Season 1 Episode 1 - Aired 9/26/2019
When former Princeton music professor Arthur Cochran unexpectedly stumbles into choir practice at a small-town church, he finds a group of singers that are out of tune in more ways than one. Despite their differences, he and his new cohorts may just help each other reinvent.
Director: Jason Winer
Writer: Lesley Wake Webster
- 7.8/1026 votes
#5 - Fizbo
Season 1 Episode 9 - Aired 11/25/2009
Nothing is too big when Phil and Claire decide to throw Luke the biggest and best birthday party a boy could ever want, but when Cameron shows up as Fizbo the Clown, it sets off a chain of events that ends with someone in the hospital.
Director: Jason Winer
Writer: Danny Zuker
- 7.8/1019 votes
#6 - Phil on Wire
Season 3 Episode 3 - Aired 9/28/2011
Jay's relationship with the dog irritates Gloria. Phil and Luke try to master the tightrope. Cameron starts a juice fast.
Director: Jason Winer
Writer: Danny Zuker
- 7.8/1025 votes
#7 - Coal Digger
Season 1 Episode 5 - Aired 10/21/2009
The whole family is invited to Jay and Gloria's for some barbeque and football. However an earlier incident at school between Manny and Luke makes things very awkward for Gloria and Claire, and then things escalate when a not-so-flattering label is uttered.
Director: Jason Winer
Writer: Christopher Lloyd
- 7.7/1025 votes
#8 - Fifteen Percent
Season 1 Episode 13 - Aired 1/20/2010
Mitchell plants the seed in Jay's head that he thinks one of Jay's old buddies might be secretly gay. Jay doesn't believe it for a second... except for all the questionable signs he now keeps noticing. Meanwhile Gloria gives Manny's date a makeover and Claire faces off with Phil's universal remote.
Director: Jason Winer
Writer: Steven Levitan
- 7.7/1028 votes
#9 - The Incident
Season 1 Episode 4 - Aired 10/14/2009
Claire and Mitchell's mother, Dede, drops in for a surprise visit and is determined to make amends with everyone she offended during what has been deemed "the incident" at Jay and Gloria's wedding. Needless to say, no one is thrilled to see her and everything comes to a head when the whole family shows up to dinner at Claire's house.
Director: Jason Winer
Writer: Steven Levitan
- 7.7/1029 votes
#10 - Come Fly with Me
Season 1 Episode 3 - Aired 10/7/2009
Phil pushes Jay to go out with him and fly his new model plane. While Manny takes time out to play with Luke, Gloria accompanies Alex in shopping for a dress. Later on, Manny ends up having a heart-to-heart talk with his sister Claire.
Director: Jason Winer
Writer: Dan O'Shannon
- 7.7/1023 votes
#11 - Dude Ranch
Season 3 Episode 1 - Aired 9/21/2011
While vacationing on Lost Creek Ranch, the three families try their hands at a little cattle herding, skeet shooting and horseback riding. There are also some big firsts, a huge surprise and an actual face-off between Jay and a cowboy named Hank.
Director: Jason Winer
Writer: Dan O'Shannon
- 7.7/1026 votes
#12 - Moon Landing
Season 1 Episode 14 - Aired 2/3/2010
Claire feels slightly inadequate when her old friend, Valerie, visits and is nothing like Claire remembered. Meanwhile Jay has an unsettling locker room moment when he and Cameron go play racquetball, and Mitchell tries to help Gloria with some legal problems
Director: Jason Winer
Writer: Bill Wrubel
- 7.7/1037 votes
#13 - Pilot
Season 1 Episode 1 - Aired 9/23/2009
Jay has just recently married his younger, Colombian wife, Gloria, but he's having trouble keeping up with her and her son Manny. Claire is having trouble with her own family, especially with her husband Phil, who thinks he can be hip with his three kids. Also, Mitchell and his partner Cameron adopt a Vietnamese baby, Lily.
Director: Jason Winer
Writer: Christopher Lloyd
- 7.6/1019 votes
#14 - Queer Eyes, Full Hearts
Season 6 Episode 7 - Aired 11/12/2014
Haley and Andy start spending a lot of time together. Gloria wants Manny to learn Spanish at school instead of French, and a reporter takes more than a passing interest in Cameron and Mitchell's lives.
Director: Jason Winer
Writer: Stephen Lloyd
- 7.5/1020 votes
#15 - Treehouse
Season 3 Episode 7 - Aired 11/2/2011
Gloria persuades Jay to commit to a night of salsa dancing after seeing how much his friend Shorty and his girlfriend do together. Meanwhile, Cameron makes a bet that he can get a woman's phone number at the bar, and Phil builds a tree house for Luke.
Director: Jason Winer
Writer: Steven Levitan
- 7.5/1026 votes
#16 - Truth Be Told
Season 1 Episode 17 - Aired 3/10/2010
After reconnecting on Facebook, Phil invites his old high school girlfriend to drop by the house, but this friendly visit quickly turns into trouble. Meanwhile Jay accidentally kills Manny's beloved pet turtle, then goes to extremes to cover his tracks, and an overworked Mitchell finally stands up to his boss.
Director: Jason Winer
Writer: Joe Lawson
- 7.5/1026 votes
#17 - Starry Night
Season 1 Episode 18 - Aired 3/24/2010
Phil and Claire each tackle one of their kids' school projects; Jay and Mitchell set out on their traditional father-son outing to see the meteor showers, but Mitchell is surprised to see Manny will be joining them; and with the boys gone, Gloria and Cameron go out for some quality bonding time, but not without a few mishaps.
Director: Jason Winer
Writer: Danny Zuker
- 7.5/1027 votes
#18 - The Bicycle Thief
Season 1 Episode 2 - Aired 9/30/2009
Phil is determined to help Luke prove to mom that he is responsible enough to have the brand new bike they just got him. However Phil ends up being the irresponsible one when a hot neighbor clouds his judgment. Meanwhile Mitchell and Cameron take Lily to their first Mommy & Me class, and Jay and Manny have some awkward father and son time.
Director: Jason Winer
Writer: Bill Wrubel
- 7.5/1019 votes
#19 - Hit and Run
Season 3 Episode 5 - Aired 10/12/2011
Gloria tries to help Jay and Manny with their problems but both are unreceptive. Claire considers running against Councilman Duane Bailey. Cam and Mitch are the victims of a hit-and-run accident.
Director: Jason Winer
Writer: Elaine Ko
- 7.5/1025 votes
#20 - Airport 2010
Season 1 Episode 22 - Aired 5/5/2010
For Jay's birthday, Gloria gives him the best surprise -- a romantic birthday getaway to Hawaii -- the only kicker is she invited the whole entire family to come along. Everyone arrives at the airport, and it's a maddening scene with forgotten I.D.'s, security breaches and flying phobias.
Director: Jason Winer
Writer: Dan O'Shannon
- 7.5/104 votes
#21 - Burn Vasectomy Milkshake Pong
Season 1 Episode 10 - Aired 12/10/2015
Greg is still bitter over an accident that sidelined a competitive game of ping-pong he and Matt had started years ago, so they decide to finally settle the score. Also, Heather questions herself after urging Tim to get a vasectomy, Jen is stressed about returning to work, and Joan learns her credit card has been stolen after strange packages start arriving.
Director: Jason Winer
Writer: Greg Malins
- 7.5/1024 votes
#22 - Run for Your Wife
Season 1 Episode 6 - Aired 10/28/2009
It's the first day back at school for the kids and, at the Dunphy house, Phil oversteps when he misreads how Claire is coping with an empty nest. Over at Jay's, he and Gloria are in disagreement over Manny's interesting choice of outfit for his first day of class, and Mitchell and Cameron freak out after Lily gets her first bump on the head.
Director: Jason Winer
Writer: Brad Walsh
- 7.5/1020 votes
#23 - Door to Door
Season 3 Episode 4 - Aired 10/5/2011
Jay helps Manny with a school fundraiser. Claire petitions for a stop sign at a busy intersection. Phil and Luke try to create a viral video. Gloria searches for Stella.
Director: Jason Winer
Writer: Bill Wrubel
- 7.4/1019 votes
#24 - Virgin Territory
Season 3 Episode 16 - Aired 2/22/2012
It's a day of disturbing realizations when Mitchell manages to ruin one of Jay's proudest golf moments, Phil overhears something that may forever change how he sees his little girl, and Gloria stumbles upon Claire's dangerous little secret.
Director: Jason Winer
Writer: Elaine Ko
- 7.4/1027 votes
#25 - Great Expectations
Season 1 Episode 8 - Aired 11/18/2009
With a history of giving bad gifts, Claire is determined to surprise Phil with an amazing anniversary present: a private performance by one of their favorite musicians, Izzy LaFontaine. However, it turns out to be unexpected in more ways than one. Meanwhile, Mitchell and Cameron call up their "party-girl bestie", Sal, for a long overdue night out on the town.
Director: Jason Winer
Writer: Danny Zuker