Episode 1

On April Fools Day 1989, Seattle's local sketch comedy show "Almost Live" ran this segment as a prank.

Space Needle Collapse

Episode 26

Sitizens To Save Selig, Message from Mayoral Candidate Doug Jewett; Expresso Letter Express; Delay of monologue; Shame of Seattle; Voyager II Transmission; Bill Nye is William Shattner; College is starting; College speak visual aid; Needle recycling

Sitizens To Save Selig

Almost Live! Training Film Number 14 - Ordering pizza at half-time; Almost Live! BBQ from Tacoma; Mind Your Manners with Billy Quan in Fumes of Fury; Too much; Bill Nye the Science Guy - egg drop; This Here Place; This is your brain in a frying pan

Almost Live! Training Film Number 14

Robert Skagit Defends Boeing Scabs

Students Missing from Seattle Schools

Martin Selig Building Salesman

Look Deep Into My Eyes

Doug Jewett and Norm Rice; The Almost Live! political job guide; Speed Walker vs. the King Dome Bomber; The Boeing negations continue...; Uncle Buzz; The lame List or What's Weak this Week

Doug Jewett and Norm Rice

Norm Rice New Mayor

Bill Stainton on the Fall of the Berlin Wall

Seahawks Locker Room

Chuck Knox as Santa Claus

Keister and Dad on when he first hosted Almost Live!

KING 5 News covers for Almost Live!

The Fun Bus to Idaho for teens; Speed Walker saves the Space Needle from being stolen; The Pre-Pre-Pre-Game Show for Super Bowl XXIV; Special guest Andy J. "Frogman" Koffman shows of his giant jumping frogs; Almost Live's 70's Challenge

Fun Bus to Idaho

Episode 15

ASU Coach and Pullman Rebuttal

Bush Press Conference

Norman Nordstrom and unpaid employees; John's car is stolen; Almost Live's newest sponsor is Ed's Express!; The Zeppelin's Institute; America's favorite game show, "The Answer is Ball!"; The Nikareebadita; Don't put your brain in a frying pan; Real Life Phone Systems; The Almost Live Home Version; The new action adventure series Flyin' Low

Norman Nordstrom

Almost Live copywriter disclaimer; World record attempt at imitating the In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida drum solo; Mind Your Manners with Billy Quan - Five Iron of Death; Bill Nye the Science Guy; The Ineffectual Middle Management Suck-Ups; Flyin' Low - Out of the Fryin' Pan

Copyright Warning for Almost Live! Tapes

The Almost Live audience warm-up guy; Celebrate National Cadillac Week; Movie Mates; Performance by The Flying Karamazov Brothers; An Editorial Response; The John Report; Five Clerks

Depressed Setup Man

Almost Live on Earth Day, 1990 Census results; DJ/MD; The Earth Day Debate; Cancelled Reebok vs Nike campaign; The John Report; The Adventures of the Little Red Car

Keister on Earth Day

And Now, Robin Leach Holding a Plastic Alligator; Student Suggestions; Speed Walker vs the Pike Place pilferer; Comedian Diane Ford; Spaceman Doug; The Jon Report; Psycho Sushi

Robin Leach Holding a Plastic Alligator

Doomsday announcement; Medical convention seminars; The High-Five'n White Guys Day Off; The Ineffectual Middle Management Suck-Ups; The John Report; The Car Counselors; Comedian Jan Barret; The Lame List or What's Weak this Week

Doomsday Speech

John Kester's mom waits in the greenroom; Trading water to California; The Last Northwesterner; Checking on mom; Bill Nye the Science Guy; Folk Songs of the Seattle Mariners; The John Report; Flyin' Low in Flyin' High;

John's Mom In Greenroom

A rebuttal on Kingdogs; How to Appreciate Your Metro Driver; Mind Your Manners With Billy Quan in 8 Ball of Fury; The Hunter-Gatherer Report; This Here Place; The John Report; Twin Teepees

Kingdog Rebuttal

Random Personality PSA; Money Can and Can't; Almost Live Training Film No. 32 - How Guys Barbeque; RoboSlug; The John Report; Comedian Peter Gaulke; Flyin' Low - Nothin' But Blue Sky

Random Personality PSA

Saudi Arabia Gas Mask testing; What not to send in care packages to soldiers; Life Rewind; The Boz: A Tribute; King Broadcasting for sale; The John Report; The High-Five'n White Guys Back to School; David Lynch's Funniest Home Videos

Saudi Arabia Gas Mask Testing

Female reporter interviewing in the locker room; What teachers get; Mind Your Manners with Billy Quan in Tools of Fury; The One Minute Relationship; Working Out with he Cooking Psychologist; Field of Dreams II; The John Report; The Lame List or What's Weak this Week;

Female Reporter in Football Locker Room

Flyin' Low: Making a Freeway Landing; Reasons People Visit Seattle; DJ/Waiter; Comedian Jake Johanson; The Ineffectual Middle Management Suck-Ups; The John Report

Flyin' Low - Freeway Landing

Norm Johnson kicks the tires; Technological advances of the 777; Ballard Driving Academy; Bill Nye blows out a candle with a garbage can; Johnson Family News; The John Report; Hanford Sparkling Water.

Seahawks Kicker Norm Johnson for B&B Cars

Keister Have a Safe and Happy Halloween; The Best of Western Washington; Speed Walker vs the camera thief; Medical Warehouse; The John Report; Comedian Carrie Snow; Refrigerator Magnet Theater

Keister Have a Safe and Happy Halloween

Keister on Negative Campaigns; Stories from Eastsideweek; Mind Your Manners with Billy Quan in Jocks of Fury; Typographical Error of Town in Wales; Boyfreind Basics; Telephone Helper; Famous Spy or Sound You Make When Out of Breath; The Miracle of Sluggy; The John Report; Fancy School or Prep School Cheerleader; Governex

Keister on Negative Campaigns

Bill Nye on the Washington State Lotto; Future Initiatives; The High-Five'n White Guys on the Waterfront!; The Big Bill; Tuesday on A Woman's Place; Comedian Peter Gaulphy; Wednesday on A Woman's Place; Jet Guy - The Early

Bill Nye on the Washington State Lotto

The real singers behind Milli Vanilli; Washington college improvements; The Kicker; Male Brain and Female Brain (1); COPS on Mercer Island; The John Report; Male Brain and Female Brain (2); Michael Jordon on Almost Live!; How to Ruin Your Thanksgiving; Male Brain and Female Brain (3); Levi's Rockers

The real Singers Behind Milli Vanilli

Employment agency; Mercer Island disaster tips; What Stupid Thing Will Dale Ellis Do Next?; Urban Wildlife: The Cellular Rhino; Critics at Large; The John Report; The Monkees' Davy Jones promotes Almost Live; Urban Wildlife: The Lunch Weasel; Comedy from Elliott Maxx; Urban Wildlife: The ATM Dodo.

Employment Agency

Warning signs of the Christmas blues; Smart Card; Shopping for Christmas; The Worst Girlfriend in the World; The John Report; The Home Genius Test.

Not Suitable For Children

The Renton Bridge Emporium; Seattle-area Santa differences; Measured Response or Overreaction; Bill Nye The Science Guy; A Woman's Place; Holiday Hunk; The John Report; A Woman's Place; It's an OK Life.

The Renton Bridge Emporium

King 5 Marketing Research; Kid-Proof Beers; Frenetic Pace; Jeff Renner: Aren't You Glad He's Back?; New sports phones; Time Life Books presents Damp Places; 1-800-IT'S-JUNK; Jeff Renner: Back on King 5; Date with an Engineer; The John Report; Jeff Renner He Knows Everything.

King 5 Marketing Research

Satellite Feed of Three Comedy Shows; Recaps of shows preempted for war coverage; Beaver Cleaverhands; Urban Wildlife: Latte Lemmings; Almost Live Training Films: A Day In The Office; The John Report; Urban Wildlife: Cassette Coyote; Trivial Pursuit: WSU Edition; Almost Live Special Report: Middle East Coverage; Urban Wildlife: Crosswalk Deer.

Satellite Feed of Three Comedy Shows

A special correspondence with Arthur Kent - Scud Stud; Super Bowl Changes; Jet Guy in "The Invisible Shield"; Fun Facts about the Super Bowl Brought to you by the NRA 1; Pout Paddle!; New Swellco products; Fun Facts about the Super Bowl Brought to you by the NRA 2; Almost Live Presents Vanishing Seattle; The John Report; Fun Facts about the Super Bowl Brought to you by the NRA 3

Arthur Kent - Scud Stud

Almost Live Press Conference; Cheep Dates; Speed Walker vs. the petroleum purloiner; Monday on A Woman's Place; NRN - the No Remote Needed Network; Video Zone; Tuesday on A Woman's Place; The John Report; Wednesday on A Woman's Place

Almost Live Press Conference

Objecting to a female pilot; What you could do with Bill Gate's fortune; Married with Badges; Video Valentine 1; Grateful Dead Travel Tours; Video Valentine 2; Ineffectual Middle Management Suck-Ups; The John Report; Video Valentine 3

Objecting to a female Pilot

The Almost Live Cast Orders Lattes; Seattle-area opening lines; Mind Your Manners with Billy Quan: Office of Death; Things Bigger Than They Need To Be; Naps, Inc; John Keister presents Cheat To Win; A message from the Driver's License Renewal Department; The John Report; Curse of the Old Girlfriends.

The Cast Orders Lattes

Providence Journal Co. purchase of King Broadcasting; Mottos for the new state of Lincoln; High-Five'n White Guys Go Site Seeing!; Legal Term or Roman Leader?; Channel 9 pledge drive; Movie star Ally Sheedy for Almost Live!; Olympic Athlete or Meaningless Phrase?; The John Report; Polaroid Camera or Famous Person's Horse; The Lame List or What's Weak This Week

Providence Journal Sale

Warning; A talk with Ivan; Restaurant Improvements; The Dysfunctionals; Urban Wildlife - Newspaper Vultures; Almost Live Presents Covering Your Butt Part 7 The Cellular Phone; Saturday Night Live's A Whitney Brown; Urban Wildlife - Bus Stop Badger; The John Report;

Warning

Ross Shafer gives John a pep talk; Freeway Signs; A fired pack of TV news reporters; Monday on A Woman's Place; Uncle Fran's Musical Forest; The Institute of Talk Show Guests; Tuesday on A Woman's Place; Hanford Bar & Grill; The John Report; Wednesday on A Woman's Place

A Pep Talk from Ross Shafer

With the Permission of the University of Nevada Las Vegas basketball team; Ode to Renton; Seattle Times Cost Cutting; The Thoroughly Modern Jerk Goes on a Date; Oregon Department of Tourism; Bill Nye the Science Guy; The John Report

Permission of the University of Nevada Las Vegas

The Baby Squad; New Categories for "Best of the Eastside"; Quantum Leak; Ross Remembers 1; Family To Be Feud; Ross Remembers 2; Foreign Language for Males; The John Report; Ross Remembers 3; Hypno Fit

The Baby Squad

Almost Live vows not to insult Tacoma; Frank Shrontz's perks; Veggie Kill; Monday on A Woman's Place; Bad Dry; The Tax Weasels; Tuesday on A Woman's Place; Classic Conversations no. 26 - Stop Making Sense; The John Report; Wednesday on A Woman's Place

Almost Live Vows Not to Insult Tacoma

AL on the Cover of Pacific Magazine

Pat Finley's Dance Party; Flyin' Low on Boat Safety; Why Our Traffic is Bad; The High-Five'n White Guys in a Scummy Alley/On the East Side; FM 104 The Mountain (1); Musical performance by Elliot Max; FM 104 The Mountain (2); Round Table; The John Report; FM 104 The Mountain (3)

Pat Finley's Dance Party

A Mother's Day message; Bill Gates' House; Mind Your Manners with Billy Quan in Wickets of Fury; Fresh-Water Fish of Famous Chef; Uncle Fran's Musical Forest; Quitters of America; Trendy Ad Agency or Soul Singing Group; The Ineffectual Middle Management Suck-Ups; The John Report; Baby Talk of Food Mart; Fish of the Month Club

A Mother's Day message

Brian Bosworth in Stone Cold; Jet Guy: The Invisible Ray; Urban Wildlife: Pizza Piranhas; Bill Nye plays with air pressure; Urban Wildlife: Sidewalk Sloths; Ditzy Babe; The John Report; Urban Wildlife: Office Ostrich; Teen Tips with Josh O'Brien.

Brian Bosworth in Stone Cold

Awkward White Guy Dance Party; "Don't Blow Away the Moose"; Reasons Why Seattle is Number 49; nerdysomething; Urban Wildlife - Morning Moose; Apple Keith; Wonderful Discoveries!; Urban Wildlife - Customer Service Parrot; Great Butts; The John Report; Urban Wildlife - Happy Hour Hyenas

Awkward White Guy Dance Party

Big Hair Patrol;City Name Changes; Almost Live Training Film No. 53 How to Watch the Big Game; How Seattle Is It? 1; Men Are Bad; How Seattle Is It? 2; The Songs That Make You Cry; The John Report; How Seattle Is It? 3

Involuntary Bungee Jumping

Big Hair Patrol

Bill Nye's World of Science; Bill Gates Husky Fund; Mind Your Manners with Billy Quan Rackets of Fury; A Woman's Place Monday; Modern Love; 80's Land; A Woman's Place Tuesday; Trendsetters; The John Report; A Woman's Place Wednesday; 1-900-THE JUDGE

Bill Nye's World of Science

The Boeing Workout; Governor Booth Gardner; Halloween Treats; Anxiety Man!; Denim Alert; Bill Nye the Science Guy; Relation Translation Inc.; Crappy Old Car Show; The John Report; Blowhard Removal

Boeing Workout

The UW Locker Room; Yes on initiative 454; The missed best of Seattle; Speed Walker Lotto ticket heist; Yes on Initiative 401K; Uncle Fran's Musical Forest - Gold Digger; Yes on Initiative 217; The School of Country Music; Yes on Initiative 353; No on initiative 454; The John Report; Yes on initiative 918

The UW Locker Room

Stationary Bike Workout; Sea-Tac Airport Improvements; Streetwaling Lawyers of Aurora Avenue; College Nickname or Thing in the Ocean; Boyz on the Hood; Roger Tarlington is sorry for US made cars; Rap Star or Type of Gum; Aggressive News; The John Report; Baseball Pitcher's Nickname of Comment Before Sex

Stationary Bike Workout

Husky Beaver Highlights; New Washington State Slogans; The Male Clinic; Urban Wildlife - Streetcorner Gnats; How To be a Video Store Clerk; College Talk; Urban Wildlife - Order Desk Owl; Good Buzz Malt Liquor; The John Report; Streetcorner Wildlife - Bus Stop Porcupine; Whore

Husky Beaver Highlights

Old Yeller; High Fivin' White Guys in the Pouring Rain; What the Northwest is Thankful For; Mind Your Manners with Billy Quan in Five Disks of Death; Monday on a Woman's Place; The Ineffectual Middle Managment Suck-Ups; Raising Money for Washington State; Tuesday on a Woman's Place; The John Report; Wednesday on a Woman's Place

Old Yeller

How the Grinch Stole Chrstmas; Requested music; TV Christmas Specials; Sluggy Saves Christmas; Fairy Tail Character of American Fascist; Button Your Fly Seattle; Northwest Christmas Gifts; European Sports Team or Slang for Getting Sick; America's Most Pathetic People; The John Report; Canadian Football League Team or Type of Condom; The Lane List or What's Weak This Week

How the Grinch Stole Chrstmas

Sing Along With Nirvana; Communism going-out-of-business sale; Almost Live Community Calendar; Tobacco Cola; Who Killed J.F.K. Today?; Halftime look at Evergreen State College; The John Report; Jimmy Swaggart's School of Driving.

Sing Along With Nirvana

King of the Couch; Eastside Olympics; Faces Places and Beer; Later Tonight part 1; Lover's Li'l Lie Detector; Up With TV; Later Tonight part 2; Folk Songs of South King County; The John Report; Later Tonight part 3; Global Java French Vanilla Cafe

King of the Couch

Tool Train; How to Make the Super Bowl More Exciting; Date of the Month Club; The State of Mercer Island Address; Seattle Pro Coaches Halfway House; The Collector; The State of Bellingham Address; The John Report; The State of Kent Address

Tool Train Intro

Congressional Intro

Living Hell Lady

Tequila Week In Review

Australian Rules Chess

Great Chefs of Tukwila; New U.W. Relationship Policy; Jet Guy in "The Early Years"; Karaoke at Bill Dougan's Flame Restaurant 1; Jerk-A-Derm; Suburban Rebels; Karaoke at Bill Dougan's Flame Restaurant 2; Oliver Stone's World Book Encyclopedia; The John Report; Karaoke at Bill Dougan's Flame Restaurant 3

Great Chefs of Tukwila

45th Annual Kent Stacking of the Beer Cans; Musical Proposals; Seattle Summer; Monday on A Woman's Place; Reabok; Pushed to Far; Tueday on A Woman's Place; Say It With Flowers; The John Report; Wednesday on A Woman's Place

45th Annual Kent Stacking of the Beer Cans

John Keister Steroid Workout; Governor Locke's New Policies; Searching to signing a new band; Urban Wildlife - Supermarket Snail; Trendsetters; Studs From Microsoft; Urban Wildlife - Lunch Buzzards; Uncle Fran's Musical Forest; The John Report;

John Keister Steroid Workout

The Tiny Show That Moves Around; 1962 World's Fair Predictions; Guy & Gizmo; Almost Live! Community Calendar (1); Super Hero Answer Bureau; Almost Live! Community Calendar (2); Fallen Stars of the '80s; The John Report; Almost Live! Community Calendar (3)

The Tiny Show That Moves Around

Stocks & Bondage; Jay Leno monologue; During their lifetime...; Mind Your Manners with Billy Quan Hoops of Fury; Subtitle Theater (1); Val Rippington's Used Men Lot; Uniquely Northwest products; Subtitle Theater (2); Super Aerobic Exerciser Baton; The John Report; The Lame List or What's Weak This Week

Stocks & Bondage

Opening Day of Boating Season

The Golden Girl's Really Final Episode; Diamond Claw Amphitheater Acts; The High-Fiv'n White Guys in Canada; Musical Term of Obscure African Country; Deadhead Home Remedies; What the Hell Have I Done Wrong Now?; Romantic Poet or Cracker; The Ineffectual Middle Management Suck-Ups; The John Report; Techno-Dance Band or Problem with your Body; The Tom Foley Workout

The Golden Girl's Really Final Episode

Bellevue Vice; Regional Anthems; COPS in Ballard; Washington In-State Higher Education Council - Bellingham Community College; Bill Bye the Science Guy; Washington In-State Higher Education Counci - Medina C.C & Tennis Academy; Bill Gates' Computer Cuts; The John Report; Washington In-State Higher Education Counci - Tri-Cities Community College

Bellevue Vice

The High Pitched Girls; Other Buy-Backs; The Cool Dying Olympics; Monday on A Woman's Place; Book Beat; Tuesday on A Woman's Place; Uncle Fran's Musical Forest; The John Report; Wednesday on A Woman's Place; The Lame List or What's Weak This Week

High Pitched Girls

The Crappiest Gardner in the World; Bellevue Historic Sites; Frenetic Pace; Urban Wildlife - Stairway Gazelle; Up With Human Beings; Urban Wildlife - Parking Pig; Folk Songs of the Slightly Inebriated; The John Report; Urban Wildlife - Copy Machine Crab; Trivial Pursuit Radical Feminist Edition

The Crappiest Gardner in the World

Helium Week In Review; Why Seattle is No. 1 For Business; Trendsetters; TV Listings (1); The Speaking Dynamics Institute; Me!; TV Listings (2); Dysfunctional Family Shopping Network; The John Report; TV Listings (3)

Helium Week In Review

Gargling for Dollars

Really Bad Gymnastics; Telling political candidates apart from Halloween costumes; The High-Fiv'n White Guys Downtown Adventure; Subtitle Theater (1); The Red Meat Council; Subtitle Theater (2); A Paid Political Commercial; The John Report; Almost Live Training Film Presents Going to Lunch at the Office;

Really Bad Gymnastics

Corporate Big Wigs

Aerobic Preacher; Looking at people's cars to get to know them; Mind your Manners with Billy Quan in Library of Death; Monday on A Woman's Place; Today Tonight; Tuesday on A Woman's Place; Uncle Fran's Musical Forest; The John Report; Wednesday on A Woman's Place; Assurance on thoughts an opinions

Aerobic Preacher

The Painful Gourmet; Other Tacoma Improvements; Lynnwood Beauty Academy; Almost Live! Community Calendar (1); 1950's Dad; Almost Live! Community Calendar (2); The Worst Girlfriend in the World - The Worst Girlfriend joins the band; The John Report; Almost Live! Community Calendar (3)

The Painful Gourmet

Grateful Dead Party Machine; Disneyworld Northwest Themes; Frenetic Pace; Subtitle Theatre Presents The Lunch Part 1; The Hero Who Kinda Wished He'd Let 'Em All Die; Betty and Veronica Forum; Subtitle Theatre Presents The Lunch Part 2; The John Report; Subtitle Theatre Presents The Lunch Part 3; Enumclaw Cinema

Grateful Dead Party Machine

Thighmaster Forum

Budget Taxidermy

America's Greatest Air Guitar Solos; Edmonds H.S. Band Fundraisers; Danger Office; Inauguration Day Events (1); Distract a Japanese Kid; Inauguration Day Events (2); COPS in Redmond; The John Report; Inauguration Day Events (3); The Lame List or What's Weak this Week

America's Greatest Air Guitar Solos

Alive! The Story of the Mercer Island Survivors; Clinton's Administrative Changes; Party Stoppers; Subtitle Theatre (1); Swearing in the President; The Survivalist; Elderly Shopping Network; The John Report; Subtitle Theatre (2)

Alive! The Story of the Mercer Island Survivors

The Problem With Michelle Pfeiffer; Other Celebrity Side Deals; Super Bowl Simulator; Preppy Character in Literature or San Francisco 49ers Lineman; Hate Me Perfume; Frat Chat; Australian Tennis Player or Type of Spice; Breakfast with Buggy; The John Report; Eastern Oregon Town of Way to Prevent Disease; Condom City

The Problem With Michelle Pfeiffer

The Buffalo Bills' Welcome Home Party; KIRO News Changes; The Incredible, Really, Really, Long Journey of Sluggy; Risk Takers! (1); Psychologist Richard Snandle; Risk Takers! (2); Whiny Assed Kid World Book Encyclopedia; The John Report; Risk Takers! (3)

The Buffalo Bills' Welcome Home Party

The World's Most Sickening Couple

Guess What I Stuffed Down My Pants; Ways to Balance the Budget; The Making of Studs of South King County Calendar; A Woman's Place (1); Beat The Biological Clock; A Woman's Place (2); Uncle Fran's Musical Forest; The John Report; A Woman's Place (3); The Lame Lsit of What's Weak this Week

Guess What I Stuffed Down My Pants

Running With Scissors

Northern Exposure; Bill Gates' Wedding Plans; Bag Over Your Head; People of Mercer Island talk about 'The Crying Game'; Amazingly Wonderful Products; People of Lynwood talk about 'The Crying Game'; Folk Songs of the Supermodels; The John Report; People of Monroe talk about 'The Crying Game'; The Lame List or What's Weak this Week.

Northern Exposure

Almost Live! was a local sketch comedy television show in Seattle, Washington, USA, produced and broadcast by NBC affiliate KING-TV from 1984 to 1999. A re-packaged version of the show also aired on Comedy Central from 1992 to 1993, and episodes aired on WGRZ-TV in the late 1990s. The show was broadcast on Saturday nights at 11:30, pushing Saturday Night Live back to midnight. The show is now aired in reruns by the Seattle NBC affiliate following Saturday Night Live.

All Episodes of Almost Live!

Browse all episodes of Almost Live!

Season 1