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The Worst Episodes of Boon

Every episode of Boon ranked from worst to best. Explore the Worst Episodes of Boon!

The Worst Episodes of Boon

Boon is a British television drama and modern-day western series starring Michael Elphick, David Daker, and later Neil Morrissey. It was created by Jim Hill...

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  1. Background image for Texas Rangers
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    #1 - Texas Rangers

    S2:E1

    Harry has sold the Grand Hotel and bought a much more prestigious hotel, The Coaching Inn in Edgbaston. Doreen has moved to Spain and out of Ken's life. Harry is trying to raise some publicity for the grand opening that he has planned at The Coaching Inn, but the newspaper reporter isn't very interested. However Harry persuades them to print a photo if he can get it to the newspaper by their deadline. But who can perform the opening ceremony, now that the mayor isn't able to attend. By chance Emlyn Price Jones, a fiery red-haired Welsh MP, who is somewhat the worse for drink, is staying in the hotel so Harry gets him to do the honours. While Ken is taking the film of the grand opening to the newspaper office, he is ambushed by a gang of Hells Angels. Ken is starting up a motorcycle courier firm, Texas Rangers, which will operate out of the stables at the Coaching Inn, in which he has a financial stake. He is living in a flat above the stables. He has bought an ancient trans

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    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown
  2. Background image for Special Delivery
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    #2 - Special Delivery

    S2:E2

    Harry is thinking of extending the Coaching Inn and entertains a local councillor, James Petherbridge, to lunch in the hope that he will put in good word for Harry at the planning meeting. Unfortunately for Ken, the plans would involve the demolition of the stables used as Texas Rangers' office. Petherbridge is being pursued by an over-ambitious TV journalist, Linda West, who is determined to prove that he is corrupt and is accepting gifts in exchange for ensuring that applicants' plans are passed. Things look bad when it is revealed that he has just returned from a holiday in Sardinia. Then he receives a package of pornographic books, unwittingly delivered by Ken. The police arrive as Ken hands over the package. Because Texas Rangers is implicated by delivering the package, Ken investigates- to clear his own name as well as Petherbridge's. He discovers that the pornographic magazines have come from a seedy club run by Sillitoe, a florid-faced, fruity-voiced man who reluctantly reveals

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    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown
  3. Background image for Day of the Yokel
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    #3 - Day of the Yokel

    S2:E3

    Debbie thinks that Ken is getting very unfit so she takes him out jogging. A spirited elderly woman, Irene Maplethorpe, is being victimised by pranks at Moat Farm where she lives. A dead sheep is found in a water-trough; cattle get loose; the farmyard is flooded; she gets anonymous phone calls and finally a barn is "accidentally" demolished by a JCB. A consortium of unscrupulous property developers, Rathbone, Keen and Blackwater (RKB), has designs on the land where Moat Farm is situated. They are planning to build ""luxury dwellings"" there, even though they don't yet own the land. RKB put pressure on Irene's wimpish nephew, Philip Lainchbury, who runs a sawmill that is in financial difficulties, to get him to persuade Irene to move. RKB offer Harry the chance to invest in the consortium and take him shooting on the land next to Moat Farm. Irene demands that they leave her alone - and shoots out the tyres of Rathbone's car to emphasise her point. Irene suspects that her nephew is involve

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    Director:Unknown
  4. Background image for Smokey and the Band
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    #4 - Smokey and the Band

    S2:E4

    Harry is searching for a group to provide entertainment at the Coaching Inn. He approaches Frankie Bass, a theatrical agent, who recommends a Country and West band, Bronco Billy's Boys. Harry hires them privately, bypassing Frankie's agency fee. Ken falls for Bebe McLintock, their raunchy blonde singer, after he has to rescue the band when they break down on their way to the Coaching Inn. Frankie Bass turns up and demands her share of the takings. Bronco and Bebe are forever arguing and Bebe is angry that she is not given sufficient chance to sing her own songs. She runs away from the band - and ends up in Ken's bed! She is on the point of leaving the band and living with Ken. However Ken's luck does not last: before long Bebe (who turns out to be Billy's wife) goes back to the band after Billy decides her needs her to stay. He is prepared to give her top billing and to let her sing her own songs. When White Lightning (Ken's beloved bike) is stolen, it is another member of the band, P

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    Writer:Unknown
  5. Background image for Taken for a Ride
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    #5 - Taken for a Ride

    S2:E5

    Albion Firetrucks, a local company which makes fire engines, has the computer plans for its new high-tech prototype stolen, when Ken is knocked off his bike while couriering them to the managing director. He is rescued by Shandy Tremblett, a platinum-blonde Page 3 girl who is staying at the Coaching Inn while trying to "improve her education". When the prototype itself is stolen, Ken investigates. He uncovers a conspiracy between an American consortium, led by Ed Slatterley, and Albion's director, Sir Freddie Blackton MP. The intention is for Slatterley to buy Albion at a knockdown price (because the prototype and its plans are missing) and then, having asset-stripped the company, to close it down. Ken finds the prototype hidden in a barn. Ken, wearing a brass fireman's helmet, and Shandy, dressed in a Union Jack robe, stage a publicity stunt on top of the fire engine to raise public awareness and to persuade the government to allow a management buy-out to take place.

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    Writer:Unknown
  6. Background image for Wheels of Fortune
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    #6 - Wheels of Fortune

    S2:E6

    Rocky has his bike stolen by an opportunist thief, Nick, while he is collecting a package from an office in the city centre... and being chatted up by the doe-eyed receptionist! To make matters worse, he has forgotten to renew the road tax and insurance on the bike. Harry's 84-year-old Aunt Lill has had a stroke and is found lying on her hall floor. The ambulance drivers are on strike so her neighbours, Margaret and Sam Green, have to take her to hospital by car. Harry is furious at what he sees as the drivers' selfish attitude: "What's the world coming to when the unions can use a crippled old woman to bump up their pay packets?" he asks Ken. He vents his frustration on the casualty registrar, Dr Hamill, but she lectures him about the dire financial state of the Health Service and tells him how the ambulance strike is affecting deliveries of drugs and medical samples. Somewhat chastened, Harry offers Ken's services free of charge if the hospital needs any supplies collecting or delivered.

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    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown
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  8. Background image for A Ride on the Wild Side
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    #7 - A Ride on the Wild Side

    S2:E7

    Ken makes a delivery to a house which is being used as a studio for the making of pornographic films. When Barry Drinkwater, the film director, hears about Ken's association with 'The Coaching Inn', he decides he wants to make a film there. Despite Ken's warnings, Harry persists in believing that it will be good publicity for the hotel! Debbie's younger sister, Lindy, arrives unannounced from Liverpool - she has run away from home. Debbie tries to persuade her to go back home, but Lindy complains that there's nothing to go back for and that she is fed up of being treated as a child. Harry gives her a part-time job working behind the hotel bar, but Drinkwater entices her away to give her a part in one of his films. Ken and Debbie can guess exactly what this will involve Lindy doing! They track her down and take her away from the flat over a sex-shop where Drinkwater has taken her.

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    Writer:Unknown
  9. Background image for Credit Where It's Due
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    #8 - Credit Where It's Due

    S2:E8

    The episode starts with a bang as Rocky suspects that Texas Rangers is delivering IRA bombs. Explosions aren't the only thing in the air as Ken copes with Harry's passion for a beautiful artist.

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    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown
  10. Background image for Trudy's Grit
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    #9 - Trudy's Grit

    S2:E9

    A new recruit is oblivious of the jealousy around her as she concentrates on the man who intends to repossess her father's stately home - a man who just happens to be staying at 'The Coaching Inn'.

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    Writer:Unknown
  11. Background image for A Fistful Of Pesetas
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    #10 - A Fistful Of Pesetas

    S2:E10

    An unwelcome guest checks in at the Inn - Harry's Ex-wife, who is then kidnapped ! Meanwhile, Ken, Rocky and their new van attempt to deliver a large statue in which no-one seems to be interested.

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    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown
  12. Background image for Paper Mafia
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    #11 - Paper Mafia

    S2:E11

    Rocky's in love again. This time it's with the delectable Guiseppina, daughter of the owner of 'The Pizza Palace', an establishement so fortified that Rocky jokes about mafia connections... Harry, meanwhile, is planning a trip to Las Vegas, and Ken is involved in a number of mysterious parcels.

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    Director:Unknown
  13. Background image for Fiddler Under The Roof
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    #12 - Fiddler Under The Roof

    S2:E12

    A huge wedding reception at 'The Coaching Inn' gets out of hand when the bride's family discovers the groom's identity.

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    Writer:Unknown
  14. Background image for A Once Fluid Man
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    #13 - A Once Fluid Man

    S2:E13

    Ken encounters an old friend and meets up with a former love, Detective Constable Margaret Daly, at an aerobics class.

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    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown
  15. Background image for The Devil You Know
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    #14 - The Devil You Know

    S3:E9

    When Ken and Margaret are used to provide a false alibi for a robber, they find themselves under suspicion from the police. Harry helps a fellow restaurateur recover from the damaging reviews of a nasty food journalist.

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    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown
  16. Background image for Do Not Forsake Me
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    #15 - Do Not Forsake Me

    S4:E5

    Robert Messener employs Ken to act as his bodyguard and chauffeur, and to run various errands associated with the sale of his house and his nightclub, in preparation for a hasty departure to Cyprus. Messener's previous minder, Freddy Tucker, had walked out on him after being beaten up. Ken is suspicious. He wonders why Messener is leaving so suddenly and why everyone hates him. When Messener's dogs are shot, he tells Ken that he suspects Sammy Robinson, a ""madman"" who used to work for him but who is now in prison for manslaughter, for which he blames Messener. Ken traces Sammy's ex-wife, Natalie, who tells him that Sammy accused Messener of having an affair with her. Messener had got Sammy to beat up a rival night-club owner - who later died. It is Sammy's brothers who are responsible for killing the dogs and for crushing Messener's car. Sammy is due out of prison in a few days and his brothers think he will want Messener disposed of. Messener completes a deal with Douglas Cruikshank f

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    Director:Graeme Harper
    Writer:Unknown
  17. Background image for Arms and the Dog
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    #16 - Arms and the Dog

    S4:E6

    Ken and Harry are guarding Tinkerbell, a greyhound, at Woodcote Park, before her big race. The owner, Mr Hancock, insists that Tinkerbell must be fed ""Mr Marrow"" dog food and a detailed record must be kept of how much of it she eats. Harry gets Rocky to feed and walk the dog, and it soon becomes clear that Tinkerbell hates ""Mr Marrow"". An attractive blonde woman turns up at Woodcote, delivering cases of wine in a Range Rover. While Harry and Rocky are helping to unload the wine, she drives off with Tinkerbell. Harry and Rocky try to trace the owner of the Ranger Rover. Then Rocky has an idea: there is going to be a charity event before the greyhound race - perhaps the dog thieves will be there. They locate the car and follow it back to an opulent house owned by a Mr and Mrs Hipkiss who claim to own Tinkerbell. Mr Hipkiss tells them that Hancock used to work for him but wasn't up to the job. Hipkiss believes that Hancock had stolen Tinkerbell in revenge for (as he sees it) being sacked

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    Writer:Unknown
  18. Background image for In It for the Monet
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    #17 - In It for the Monet

    S4:E8

    Mr and Mrs Sheridan, parents of Isobel, a university student studying Art History, ask Ken to investigate why their daughter has changed and why she suddenly seems to be suspiciously wealthy. Ken talks to her former boyfriend, Geoff, and learns that she used to be very keen on rowing but then suddenly gave it up a year ago and now has a new set of friends. Laura and Rocky go undercover, posing as students. They see Isobel and a friend, Dominique, all dolled-up and getting into a brand new flashy convertible. They follow her to a hotel. When Rocky sees the women leaving a hotel bedroom after a little while, and an Italian man gratefully handing over money, he jumps to the obvious conclusion - that they are on the game! Then, outside Isobel's room, Laura finds syringes and a note referring to poppies - perhaps she is a drug dealer. What should Ken tell her parents? Ken eventually discovers that Isobel is selling her essays to less able students - with the knowledge of her tutor, Dr Micha

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    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown
  19. Background image for Love Letters From A Dead Man
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    #18 - Love Letters From A Dead Man

    S4:E9

    As he is driving along a country lane towards Woodcote Park, Harry sees a racing cyclist being harassed by a souped-up car. The cyclist, Ian, turns out to be Helen's nephew. He is staying at Woodcote Park while he trains for a road-race through the centre of Nottingham. Greg Simpson, the manager of a racing team, is pressuring Ian to leave his present team and to join Greg's. He threatens to publish a letter which proves that Ian once conspired to fix the result of a race by letting a friend win. Harry uncovers proof that Greg's soignier (team doctor) is prescribing drugs to addicts; this would not go down too well with the sponsors of Greg's team, a health-food company. Faced with a clear case of stalemate, Greg realises that he cannot win and backs down. Ken is asked to trace the author of love letters written to Barbara Lake. They are apparently from her husband, Ronnie, a bank robber - but he died in a plane crash six months ago... Either he is still alive or else the letters are c

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    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown
  20. Background image for Big Game Hunt
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    #19 - Big Game Hunt

    S4:E10

    The Bisons, a secret society similar to the Freemasons, is holding its meeting at Woodcote Park. Large amounts of alcohol are consumed. On the way home, one of the Bisons, Derek Donaghue, is stopped for drink-driving. Helen asks Rocky to take some of her chairs to sell at an antique shop. Roxanne, the shop assistant, realises that he knows nothing about antiques and rips him off. He and Helen come up with a plan to get his own back. He invites Roxanne for a slap-up dinner at Woodcote, then disappears while pretending to book them a room for the night. Helen makes Roxanne pay the bill! Ken receives a peremptory phone call to meet a potential client, Vincent Brack. Brack wants Ken to watch his wife, Nina. Ken follows Nina to a pub where she changes into a tarty dress and blonde wig, and leaves without Ken realising. The following day he is ready for her and follows her to a club where he discovers that she works as a hostess and singer, using the name Susie. Suspecting the worst, Ken get

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    Director:Unknown
  21. Background image for All in a Day's Pork
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    #20 - All in a Day's Pork

    S4:E12

    Ken is employed by Amelia Woods, a secretary at a local meat-processing factory, to investigate why various dictation tapes and letters go missing from the office and then re-appear a few days later. He soon learns from Bert and Joe, two of the drivers, that there is something very suspicious about the firm - strange late-night deliveries from Amsterdam that don't go through the books and are treated differently from the rest of the stock. And it seems that the owner, Mr Sandford, and his son-in-law, Trevor, are involved. Helped by Laura and Rocky, Ken stages a road accident to hold up the lorry containing the special cargo and they take one of the boxes back to Woodcote. Having thawed it out, they discover, hidden underneath the bacon, pornographic magazines and videos. ""Can you get that muck out of here. I find it extremely upsetting,"" Helen wails. Meanwhile, Harry and Helen are invited to a jousting tournament by a local businessman, Ben Seymour, and become mixed up in a bout of riv

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    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown
  22. Background image for Trouble in the Fields
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    #21 - Trouble in the Fields

    S5:E1

    Harry has evidently gone up in the world since he sold Woodcote Park because he now drives a Jaguar XJ6. He is planning to start a security business from offices at a canal basin by the Trent but his bank manager, Mr Statter, refuses him a loan. Ken, Rocky and Laura have moved from Royal Hill and are temporarily working out of a very tacky caravan. Ken is on horseback, investigating water pollution and dead fish at a quarry near Dornford Hall for his clients, the peremptory and patronising Dr Sinclair Lewis, and Simon, a member of an ecological pressure group. They believe that the pollution is due to the dumping of toxic waste, possibly solvents used in the production of ceramics. Suddenly an air-rifle pellet is fired at Ken's horse, throwing him off. A beautiful Polish woman, Irena Tadeusz, who lives at Dornford Hall, rescues him. She tells him about a friend, Brigadier Charles, who was beaten up in a robbery. She is very frightened, so Ken offers to do a free survey with a view to f

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    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown
  23. Background image for Tales from the River Bank
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    #22 - Tales from the River Bank

    S5:E2

    Ken is asked to investigate the fiancée of Lawrence Varlish. He suspects that she might be having an affair with her hypnotherapist, Geoffrey Phillips. Harry goes to see Phillips, posing as an anxious patient, and soon discovers that Varlish is worrying over nothing. Two suspicious-looking South African men are waiting in the car park of the newly-opened CBS offices. They are anxious to collect something from a boat on the river. Nearby a narrow-boat belonging to a certain Mrs Walters is commandeered at gunpoint by Hobson, a suave man with a painfully cultured accent, accompanied by a Scotsman called Dilkes. They urgently need transport because their own boat has broken down. That night, when Ken is asleep on his yacht, he is woken up by the sound of heavy objects being thrown in to the water. Still half asleep, he peers out of the window but can't see anything and soon goes back to sleep. After advertising in the local paper, Ken and Harry are inundated with enquiries for missing pers

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    Writer:Unknown
  24. Background image for Work, Rest & Play
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    #23 - Work, Rest & Play

    S5:E3

    Harry has a contract to guard the puppies that a pedigree Afghan hound is expecting. When the puppies are born, it turns out that the father was a mongrel! Because the puppies are not pedigrees, the contract falls through and Harry is left with a lot of surplus surveillance equipment. A Scottish footballer from Dundalk, Willie Connolly, wants Ken to act as his minder. Shortly after moving down to play in a local Nottingham team, his car was vandalised by a gang of thugs. Ken is warned off by a Glaswegian who freely admits smashing up the car and tells Ken to pass on the message to Willie that ""he's got twenty-four hours"". Willie and his girlfriend, Belinda, are planning to buy a house nearby. While they are looking round the house before buying it, a woman arrives and catches Willie and Belinda kissing... she is Willie's wife, Moira! Willie was separated from Moira whom he had left in Scotland. The ""mad Glaswegian bookie"" who smashed up the car is Moira's father, Donny McGregor, who is

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    Director:Bill Hays
    Writer:Unknown
  25. Background image for The Belles of St. Godwalds
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    #24 - The Belles of St. Godwalds

    S5:E4

    Justina Bradleigh is a beautiful but spoilt 18-year-old pupil at St Godwald's, a girls' public school. She is secretly going out with Perry, a cocky young man who is constructing the school's new swimming pool. She is very bitchy to Deborah, her father's new girlfriend. Ken and Harry are employed to guard a fashion show and charity gala that the school will shortly be starting. The school receives a bomb threat, which the headmistress, Hester McCullock, says is just the latest in a long line of pranks which are starting to affect the reputation of the school. Hsster asks Ken to investigate before parents start threatening to take their girls away. Harry is keen to join the local branch of the Conservative party, of which Simon Bradleigh is the chairman. Simon tells Harry that ""the party takes a dim view of confirmed bachelors"", so Harry is under pressure to find himself a wife! Simon tells him that he knows of ""an exclusive introduction bureau"" run by Davina Barclay. Harry is very scep

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    Writer:Unknown
  26. Background image for Rival Eyes
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    #25 - Rival Eyes

    S5:E5

    Harry has just moved to the peaceful village of Upper Ridley and Rocky is lodging with him. They help Sylvia Clayborough, a young widow, who has taken over her husband's fishmongering business but is plagued by vandalism: the fish-van's tyres are let down and graffiti is sprayed over it. When Sylvia and another widow, Vivienne Blake, start to compete with each other to welcome Harry to the village, Harry begins to realise that he has uncovered a hotbed of rivalry, jealousy and frustrated passion. Harry and Rocky eventually track down the vandal: Vivienne's wayward nephew who is staying with her. Thomas O'Rourke, an Irish builder, asks Ken to investigate a break-in and theft of cash at his office. He suspects Brian Jonson, another builder. He thinks it is a dispute between Catholic (himself) and Protestant (Jonson). O'Rourke tries to settle his score with Brian by demolishing his office with a JCB. However O'Rourke's daughter, Caitlin, thinks the real culprit is her elder sister, Bernad

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    Director:Gareth Davies
    Writer:Unknown

Worst Episodes Summary

"Texas Rangers" is the worst rated episode of "Boon". It scored /10 based on 0 votes. Directed by Unknown and written by Unknown, it aired on 2/17/1987. This episode scored 0.0 points lower than the second lowest rated, "Special Delivery".