The Waide men seek their mother's advice when they can't say "I love you;" Their mothers off-the-wall revelations only make matters more complicated.

Porter is blindsided by the arrival of his football player brother and certainly unprepared to tackle the concept that Bobby's new million-dollar contract requires him to move into Porter's responsible household.

After taking Uncle Bobby's advice, Oscar ends up in the vice-principal's office. But it's Porter and Bobby who are punished when the vice principal sends them to a parenting class.

Porter's worried about Bobby's influence when Oscar decides he wants to be a bus driver instead of going to college. Since Oscar's been spending so much time with Bobby, Porter has been left with gaps in his day so Bobby suggests he get a hobby.

When Oscar and Rose are allowed to go to the movies by themselves, Rose persuades Oscar to sneak into an extra film without paying; and when Oscar inadvertently confesses, Porter decides to teach his son a lesson.

When Porter berates Bobby for not cleaning up after himself, Bobby reacts in a typical fashion: he hires a maid; Oscar pays Rose to do his chores.

Bobby's gross costume frightens Oscar more than he wants to let on, ruining his favorite holiday of the year. Bobby tries to comfort Oscar after a particularly bad nightmare.

Bobby finds himself in a football-kicking slump after he promises to make a field goal for Oscar during a Monday Night Football game. ABC's NFL Monday Night Football commentators Al Michaels, Dan Dierdorf and Boomer Esiason guest star as themselves.

Bobby is shocked when he fails his mandatory drug test, which leaves Oscar doubting the integrity of his football-playing uncle. The strictly drug-free Bobby is determined to clear his good name with the help of Porter and Dena. Guest star: Karl Malone.

Porter puts his foot down when Bobby attempts to decorate and lavish Oscar with enormous birthday gifts, so Bobby buys the family a larger house.

When Bobby mocks Porter for putting encouraging notes in Oscar's school lunches just as their mother did to him, Porter realizes that his parents treated their sons very differently and had very different expectations of them.

Porter becomes depressed after he gives a talk on Abraham Lincoln to Oscar's class and literally bores the students to sleep; Bobby hopes to shine up his brother's image in class.

Porter scares off his blind date Gretchen; Bobby, Oscar and Rose try to convince Porter to ask Rose's mother Marilyn out.

Porter is very proud of his trophy date, gorgeous model Amy, who has a thing for sensitive intellectuals. Trouble is, she fancies herself a brain herself, even though her head is obviously mostly air. Porter claims he is interested in her for her mind.

The brothers' mother sends them a box of stuff from their childhood, reviving ancient rivalries; The box also contains a sweater which belonged to Laura, Porter's first girlfriend.

Porter accidentally ruins Bobby's priceless championship-game football; Bobby gets kicked out and moves in with Dena.

Porter discovers that Bobby is dating Oscar's teacher Ginny, he orders him to put a stop to the relationship; Porter inadvertently asks Ginny out on a date.

After impulsively setting out on the road Porter, Bobby and Dena find themselves broken down at a garage with a couple of feuding brothers-in-law whose relationship strangely reflects on their own.

When Bobby tries his hand at being a shock jock while hosting a sports radio talk show, he ends up insulting his listeners and prodding an irate caller to meet him at home to settle a score -- inadvertently giving out Porter's address over the air.

After realizing that he has no friends, Porter tries unsuccessfully to become pals with a group of construction workers who are fixing his home.

When Porter and Bobby are both scheduled to appear on "Politically Incorrect With Bill Maher" on the same episode, Bobby humiliates Porter by stealing his notes. But Bobby finds himself in a desperate search for intelligence when he's invited back to the show, which includes political legend Dr. Henry Kissinger.

While a jealous Bobby pouts over the attention Dena is giving to her new client, Gino, a race car driver, Porter humors Oscar by letting him punish his father for a high school prank that happened years ago.

Porter's scheme to win Dena's heart by trying to outwit Gino begins to backfire on the lovesick professor. A small earthquake shakes up the usually unflappable Bobby, he demands to be traded.