In this episode, impressionists Jon Culshaw, Jan Ravens, Phil Cornwell, Mark Perry and Kevin Connelly present us with sketches spoofing the The Da Vinci Code, Dr Gillian McKeith and Rolf Harris.

Sir Alan Sugar chooses his apprentice from the final two candidates, while Robert Winston finds himself transported back to the 1970s following a car accident. Actors suffering from multiple soap personality disorder speak out. Dr Gregory House and his team attempt to cure a patient.

A homeless man asks the Dragons to give him 50p to buy a cup of tea. Terry Wogan ventures onto the streets of Britain to ask the public what should be done to improve the Eurovision Song Contest. Although they've faced down many alien foes, the Doctor and Rose admit defeat when confronted by Doctor Who's loud incidental music.

John Prescott pens a musical about his life. Tony Blair and George Bush hold a joint press conference. Bill Oddie shares his thoughts on climate change.

Sir Alan Sugar mistakenly enters the Dragons' Den instead of The Apprentice studio. Sven-Goran Eriksson tries to sell moisturiser in a department store. CSI's Gil Grissom tries to go back in time to solve crimes with Dirty Harry, but ends up meeting Jessica Fletcher instead.

Mastermind celebrates 30 years on air with Mastermind: The Opera. Dr Gregory House is revealed to be British, not American. Jeremy Kyle makes an appeal for guests on his discussion show.