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The Worst Episodes of Footballers' Wives

Every episode of Footballers' Wives ranked from worst to best. Explore the Worst Episodes of Footballers' Wives!

The Worst Episodes of Footballers' Wives

Footballers' Wives is a British television drama surrounding the fictional Premier League Association football club Earls Park F.C., its players, and their wives. It was...

Seasons6

  1. Background image for Getting a Result
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    #1 - Getting a Result

    S1:E1

    Striker Ian Walmsley is thrilled when he gets offered a place on the Earls Park first team. Meanwhile his young wife Donna starts a search for the son she and Ian gave up for adoption nine years ago. Donna's wild-child sister, Marie, arrives from Bolton to stay and immediately scores with the player she's had a crush on for years - the Sparks' charismatic captain, Jason Turner. Famous glamour model Chardonnay Lane and Earls Park FC's resident heart-throb Kyle Pascoe are looking forward to their wedding, despite the interference of Kyle's doting mother Jackie. Jason and his wife Tanya worry about their future when Earls Park announce a new signing - Italian midfielder, Salvatore Biagi, who is a serious threat to Jason's first team place. At the start-of-season party, a violent row breaks out between the Turners and the club chairman, Frank Laslett, and the consequences could be terrible!

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  2. Background image for Take Each Game As It Comes
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    #2 - Take Each Game As It Comes

    S1:E2

    The Turners worry about their future when they are told that Frank, who remains in a coma, could recover. Ian doesn't want to know when Donna meets the child they gave up for adoption 10 years ago. Tanya catched Jason with Donna's sister, Marie, and learns that Marie was only showing an interest in Salvatore Biagi to make Jason Jealous! Kyle's stag night is as lively as ever, at which Ian is photographed enjoying himself rather too much with two lap-dancers. Chardonnay's hen night goes up in smoke..literally when a couple of drunken fans turn aggressive and cause a terrible accident - will her wedding now take place?!

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  3. Background image for On The Ball
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    #3 - On The Ball

    S1:E3

    The day of Kyle and Chardonnay's wedding arrives, complete with a glossy magazine deal, and despite the burns Chardonnay received. Her happiness is spoiled, however, as she learns that the men who caused her injuries will not be charged! The adoptive mother of Ian and Donna Walmsley's son Daniel arrives distraught at the reception to tell them he is missing. Ian panics when the news about his secret son hits the headlines, but the Sparks' manager Stefan Hauser arranges for the club to assign a lawyer to start a custody battle on Ian and Donna's behalf. Tanya Turner starts to have nightmares about Frank Laslett , who still lies in a coma, and gets little support from Jason who is more interested in his affair with Donna's teenage sister Marie. And Donna is horrified when the Walmsleys' private lives make the papers yet again - this time, it's Ian's exploits with a couple of lap-dancers at Kyle's stag night

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    Director:Paul Duane
    Writer:Liz Lake
  4. Background image for A Funny Old Game
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    #4 - A Funny Old Game

    S1:E4

    Tanya's turns to cocaine to keep her nightmares, is her cocaine habit getting increasingly out of hand? Donna vows to fight for custody of Daniel alone, then throws Ian out of the family home... But soon finds out it's going to be virtually impossible without his lawyers on her side. Ian finds that he is staying at the same hotel as his Italian team-mate Sal Biagi, and the two start to become friends. Newly-wed Chardonnay takes a pair of scissors to her long hair when she gets depressed about her burns - Kyle is concerned but his mother Jackie is less sympathetic. Jason tells Tanya that their marriage is over, but Tanya has other ideas and blackmails him into staying. Tanya befriends Frank's intensive care nurse, Janette Dunkley, so that she can keep tabs on his condition, explaining her interest by claiming that they had an affair. Nurse Dunkley, however, has very dubious motives of her own...and Tanya knows it!...

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    Director:Paul Duane
    Writer:Liz Lake
  5. Background image for All To Play For
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    #5 - All To Play For

    S1:E5

    Ian is back at home and is with Sal Biagi, at the request of the Stefan - much to Donna's annoyance. Tanya promises not to tell anyone of Nurse Dunkley's exploits, on condition that Nurse Dunkley persuades Frank's ex-wife and son to switch off Frank's life support...just as they're about to pull the plug, they get a nasty surprise! Jason is stopped by the police after he tries to force Sal's car off the road. Stefan makes it clear to Jason that he's on his last warning but persuades Sal to cover for his captain. Chardonnay sells the story of her ordeal to a newspaper in the hope of shaming her attackers, but the article does not turn out as she expected. Kyle spends an evening out flirting, as he is furious to see their private life all over the tabloids.

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    Writer:Phil Ford
  6. Background image for Winning The Double
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    #6 - Winning The Double

    S1:E6

    Jason demands to be put on the transfer list when Stefan decides to put him on the bench in favour of Sal...bored and lonely after being dropped from the team, he finds comfort in the arms of Kyle's mother Jackie. Chardonnay arranges a romantic break for herself and Ktle to aid their relationship. Sheena hangs around the training ground, hoping to meet Kyle again. Marie attempts to seduce Sal but is convinced that he's gay when he rejects her advances. Frank is slowly recovering, but has short-term memory loss and can't remember the night of the attack. Nurse Dunkley 'reminds' Frank of the affair that Tanya invented, but can Tanya keep lying?

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  8. Background image for All Credit To The Lads
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    #7 - All Credit To The Lads

    S1:E7

    When Chardonnay faints at the gym, blood tests reveal that she is pregnant! After announcing their news to the press, Kyle is horrified to discover that he is not about to become proud dad, but in fact, a brother as the test results are those of Jackie! Jackie suggests to Kyle and Chardonay that they bring up the child as their own. Ian is made vice-captain but humiliates himself in his first match by getting sent off. Donna finds herself having a passionate encounter with Sal when she becomes irritated by Ian's obsession with his career! Kyle tell's Sheena, an obsessed fan, where his loyalties lie. Jason's hooks up with a new top agent, Hazel Bailey. Frank, persuaded by Tanya, has Jason reinstated in the team. Tanya has sex with Frank and he starts to have flashbacks about Nurse Dunkley!

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    Director:Julie Edwards
  9. Background image for They Think It's All Over
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    #8 - They Think It's All Over

    S1:E8

    Chardonnay and Jackie persuade Kyle that the best thing for everyone would be for the young couple to adopt Jackie's baby. Kyle, however, has other things on his mind as Sheena won't take no for an answer. Annoyed at Tanya for flirting with Frank, Jason finds himself back in bed with Marie and promises to leave Tanya to be with her. Sal tells Donna he loves her. Holly is kidnapped when Marie is late picking her up from school - Sal uses his transfer fee to pay the ransom but Donna's distraught when Holly never appears at the arranged meeting point! Jason's new agent, Hazel, cooks up a plan to get Tanya out of her 'affair' with Frank, whilst protecting Jason's position with the team. She arranges for Jason to 'catch' Tanya and Frank together, but Jason loses his temper… which for Frank, brings back chilling memories of the night of his 'accident'...!

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  10. Background image for Series 3 - Episode 1
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    #9 - Series 3 - Episode 1

    S3:E1

    The deaths of Jason and Chardonnay hit Kyle hard. Three new players have been signed - northern whiz-kid Harley Lawson, Noah Alexander and international striker Conrad Gates. Tanya marries Frank Laslett but is soon smitten by bisexual adventurer Conrad. Jackie dates new manager Roger Webb, much to Kyle's disgust. Tanya and Conrad... become aquinted! Also, Jason's killer is revealed!

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    Director:Jim Loach
    Writer:Liz Lake
  11. Background image for Series 3 - Episode 2
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    #10 - Series 3 - Episode 2

    S3:E2

    Amber and Conrad find themselves at the mercy of a Triad gang demanding a huge sum of money. Harley's girlfriend Shannon joins him in London, but soon finds her face doesn't fit and pays a visit to a plastic surgeon. Tanya discovers Frank is broke, and soon sets her sights on Conrad - resulting in a catfight with Amber. Kyle seeks solace in gambling dens.

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    Writer:Liz Lake
  12. Background image for Series 3 - Episode 3
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    #11 - Series 3 - Episode 3

    S3:E3

    As Kyle lies in agony his future in the Premiership is also in doubt. Shannon is pleased with her nose job and turns her attention to her weight. Hazel wants to take over the club. Amber attempts to revive her flagging film career. Frank lays his future on the line with Tanya, who is more concerned about snagging Conrad from Amber.

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    Writer:Liz Lake
  13. Background image for Series 3 - Episode 4
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    #12 - Series 3 - Episode 4

    S3:E4

    Harley and Shannon prepare for their wedding, with Jordan as special guest and with coverage from Hello! magazine. Hazel takes charge at the club and makes her mark, reinstating Elaine as Kyle's physiotherapist. Tanya stumbles across a perfect plan to get rid of Frank.

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    Writer:Guy Picot
  14. Background image for Series 3 - Episode 5
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    #13 - Series 3 - Episode 5

    S3:E5

    Harley and Shannon wake up the morning after their wedding looking into the jaws of death - in the form of a 400 pound man-eating lion; Conrad receives a ransom demand for Amber, who has been kidnapped; and Frank appears to have a new lease of life, despite Tanya's scheming.

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  15. Background image for Series 3 - Episode 6
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    #14 - Series 3 - Episode 6

    S3:E6

    Frank has never felt fitter, and his renewed energy frustrates Tanya, who hoped he would fade fast under her harsh regime of Viagra and sex - will she succees? But she soon has other matters to occupy her time - her arch-enemy Amber has lied about the abduction and Tanya must prove it to Conrad. Kyle's gambling habit threatens to take over his life. Conrad finds out the truth about Amber, who herself begins to turn to dark magic for assistance!

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    Writer:Liz Lake
  16. Background image for Series 3 - Episode 7
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    #15 - Series 3 - Episode 7

    S3:E7

    Frank Laslett is dead and buried and Tanya just loves playing the glamorous widow, while living the high life off her hefty inheritance. Kyle wins back Elaine, but now has to break the news to Roger. Amber meets her agent, who has bad news for her - and she takes out her anger on Tanya. Noah's actions land him in trouble with Hazel.

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    Writer:Liz Lake
  17. Background image for Series 3 - Episode 8
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    #16 - Series 3 - Episode 8

    S3:E8

    Kyle's first day back at training looks doubtful when he arrives home bruised after a night of bare-knuckle boxing. Shannon has just had her lips done and Harley starts to despair. Tanya is furious as Amber appears to be winning her way back into Conrad's life - then she discovers that Noah is also a player for Conrad's affections!!

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    Director:Julie Edwards
    Writer:Liz Lake
  18. Background image for Series 3 - Episode 9
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    #17 - Series 3 - Episode 9

    S3:E9

    Conrad breaks the news of Amber's pregnancy to Tanya, landing a bitter blow as she is on a quest to secure Conrad for herself. Kyle has to deal with the police before stepping onto the pitch for one of the team's biggest games ever, while Noah finds himself on the subs bench.

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  19. Background image for Series 4 - Episode 1
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    #18 - Series 4 - Episode 1

    S4:E1

    Roger takes the players to Spain for a 'bonding session', but will one player's shocking behavior with a girl called Katie cause legal and PR disasters for the entire team?, Meanwhile, the wives have a 'bonding session' of their own. Both Amber and Tanya gave birth to their babies, but Tanya hires a face from the past to do her devious work... will Amber get the upper hand? Harley and Shannon reconcile while Noah takes drastic action to 'cure' his homosexuality!

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    Writer:Liz Lake
  20. Background image for Series 4 - Episode 2
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    #19 - Series 4 - Episode 2

    S4:E2

    It's a sad day for Conrad and Amber as they bury their dead baby, and Tanya sheds a secret tear for the loss of her true son. Tanya and Conrad find a nanny for Troy - but why does she look so familiar?... Will Harley discover her ulterior motive before her scissors are let loose?! Roger and Jackie marry. Noah has joined a church group which promises to cure him of his homosexuality. Shannon offers to host Hazel's birthday party - but her attempts at cooking are a disaster until Antony Worrall Thompson saves the day!

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    Director:Richard Signy
    Writer:Liz Lake
  21. Background image for Series 4 - Episode 3
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    #20 - Series 4 - Episode 3

    S4:E3

    Tanya asks Amber to be godmother of 'her' baby, but is unaware that Amber is out for revenge because she's discovered that Pundarik was covered in fake tan when he died. Shannon checks out Harley's story and visits Katie to get the truth about what happened in Spain. On the day of Troy's christening Amber takes to the podium to drop her bombshell... but who'll beleive her? Noah is dating the beautiful Bethany - but is his heart really in this new relationship?

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  22. Background image for Series 4 - Episode 4
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    #21 - Series 4 - Episode 4

    S4:E4

    Will Katie use her harpoon gun as Darius wakes up to find himself at her mercy!? Noah is pleased as punch - he's done it with a girl and she's gagging for more! At the opening night of Bruno's new club, Tanya steals the show with her new engagement ring, but when Conrad hears the result of the DNA test, the engagement is called off - What will the reprocussions be for Tanya! Roger does the deal on a new player - his son Seb! Hazel is far from amused when she learns that Amber has Tanya's shares, meaning she is now on the board!

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    Writer:Liz Lake
  23. Background image for Series 4 - Episode 5
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    #22 - Series 4 - Episode 5

    S4:E5

    ***Spoiler*** Amber has triumphed by sending Tanya packing – she's got no interest in a reconciliation with Conrad because she's determined to become a singing star, with help from Peter Andre and a track called Bhangra Bootie. Harley isn't happy now that his life with Shannon is the subject of a fly-on-the-wall documentary; gay Noah is struggling with girlfriend Bethany's insatiable desire; Darius is wrecking his life with booze; and Roger's son Seb gets a place in the Earl's Park team.

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    Writer:Liz Lake
  24. Background image for Series 4 - Episode 6
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    #23 - Series 4 - Episode 6

    S4:E6

    Bruno Milligan is furious when his club Nabakov's Cocoon gets bad publicity in the tabloids; Roger tries to keep an eye on steroid-abusing son Seb and has to make excuses to Hazel; Harley clashes with Shannon whose desire for celebrity is ruining their lives – especially when she adopts a granny to look good on the docusoap; Conrad goes to great lengths to win back Amber; Seb makes a move on stepmum Jackie after downing loads of vodka; and Amber is intervewied by Dr Neil Fox about her pop single Bhangra Bootie.

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    Director:S.J. Clarkson
    Writer:Guy Picot
  25. Background image for Series 4 - Episode 7
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    #24 - Series 4 - Episode 7

    S4:E7

    Seb looked on as Jackie and Roger argued... but what is he planning to do?! Lucy plays a dangerous game by agreeing to meet her internet friend. Hazel is on a warpath when Roger refuses to let Seb play again. Amber tries to play Hazel at her own game at a board meeting!

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    Director:S.J. Clarkson
    Writer:Liz Lake
  26. Background image for Series 4 - Episode 8
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    #25 - Series 4 - Episode 8

    S4:E8

    Roger and Jackie's marriage hits crisis point and Seb is determined to twist the knife in further. Bruno is becoming suspicious of Lucy. Noah breaks the news of his engagement to Conrad - there's no turning back now. Amber's record is getting lots of airplay, but her pop career looks doomed when Conrad is told he's being sold to Madrid. A distraught Jackie spots Roger entering a brothel and seeks comfort in the arms of her stepson.

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    Writer:Guy Picot

Worst Episodes Summary

"Getting a Result" is the worst rated episode of "Footballers' Wives". It scored /10 based on 0 votes. Directed by Mike Adams and written by Maureen Chadwick, Ann McManus, it aired on 1/8/2002. This episode scored 0.0 points lower than the second lowest rated, "Take Each Game As It Comes".