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The Worst Episodes of Linda Green

Every episode of Linda Green ranked from worst to best. Explore the Worst Episodes of Linda Green!

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Linda's a Manchester girl, born and bred. She's in her early 30s and the friends she has now are the same friends she's had since primary school. By day she potters around in Craven Lane

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  1. #1 Worst Episode
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    Linda Green Season 1 Episode 1 - Twins
    6.5/10(9 votes)

    #1 - Twins

    S1:E1

    Linda's latest relationship has gone sour in a big way. There's only one thing for it, she chucks nasty Neil out of her flat and out of her life. But Linda's astonished to see Neil roll up back at her flat, bold as brass. She's just giving him a piece of her mind when he lifts up his top to reveal no tattoo. This isn't Neil at all. This is his identical twin brother, Tom. Before she knows where she is, Linda is embarking on an affair with the second Cherry brother. Tom is everything Neil is not. He's kind, he's loving and he's generously endowed in the trouser department! Tom can't get enough of Linda. If he's not kissing her, he's hugging her, or sending her bouquet after bouquet of flowers. When he turns up at the garage and plants a smacker on her lips it's no surprise – until he reveals his tattoo and Linda realises that this is Neil. He warns her off Tom, claiming he doesn't want to see him get hurt. It's Michelle's birthday and the gang head out to the club. Jimmy's new girlfrien

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Paul Abbott

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  2. Linda Green Season 1 Episode 2 - Pete
    7.0/10(1 votes)

    #2 - Pete

    S1:E2

    Linda's old school friend, Pete has broken up with his girlfriend Bev and he's in the depths of depression about it. Jimmy and Darren think he's being a pushover. She's spent all his money and got to stay living in his flat, but he loves her so he lets her get away with it. Linda has taken pity on him and agreed to let him sleep on her sofa. Pete's a bit of an old hippy. His hair is long and lank, so Linda and Michelle decide what he needs is a makeover. They give him a hair cut and the transformation is astonishing. His new hair lifts an enormous weight off his shoulders, his mood lightens and Linda gets a glimpse of his tremendously toned body. She begins to see Pete in a whole new light. Finally one evening Linda suggests that instead of sleeping on the sofa Pete shares her bed. She makes the invite sound very innocent, but rushes off to get herself looking gorgeous. She waits in bed for him while he smokes, snacks, and finally drops off in front of the TV. By the time he comes to b

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Paul Abbott

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  3. Linda Green Season 1 Episode 4 - Ricky
    7.0/10(1 votes)

    #3 - Ricky

    S1:E4

    There's a new boy at Craven Lane Motors, and he really is a boy. Ricky is only 18 - but he's caught Linda's eye, and she's caught his. Linda decides she's had one too many unsatisfactory men her own age, and it's time to try something new. Once Linda gets her hands on Ricky she finds out that younger men have their own disadvantages. Ricky is a virgin, and goes off on a hair trigger! Undeterred, Linda decides to embark on a training regime. Before too long she has moulded Ricky into the perfect lover. Plus, he seems quite happy to do the washing up! However, all's not perfect in paradise. Jimmy tells Linda that everyone's laughing at her. And when she takes Ricky round to meet her parents he clearly has more in common with her little brother than with Linda. His conversation is driving Linda up the wall, and Linda realises Ricky has to go. The only trouble is that Ricky adores Linda. If she dumps him she'll break his heart and she'll be referred to as ‘that bitch' for ever after. She p

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  4. Linda Green Season 1 Episode 5 - Rest In Peace
    7.0/10(1 votes)

    #4 - Rest In Peace

    S1:E5

    Debbie Mott has died. She was at school with Linda and the gang, but none of them can really remember who she was. Darren racks his brains and recalls talking to her once. She was nice and had a dog called Southampton. He decides to write to her family. Linda suggests they all go to the funeral instead. When they arrive at the church they are offered the choice of either a keyring or a pendant with Debbie Mott's picture on. Darren realises he's got the wrong girl and they all get an attack of the giggles. At the wake, Michelle tries to find out all about Debbie. She is disturbed when she discovers that she lived at home and didn't really have any friends. Michelle is shaken up and starts visiting Debbie's mum, pretending they were close friends at school. She makes up stories about how important Debbie was to her life. Eventually Debbie's mum rumbles what's going on and has to explain to Michelle that just because Debbie was a solitary soul, it doesn't mean she wasn't happy. Michelle a

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Russell T Davies

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  5. Linda Green Season 1 Episode 8 - Fitness Freak
    7.0/10(1 votes)

    #5 - Fitness Freak

    S1:E8

    Linda is delighted when she heads out one morning, and watches a fine figure of a man jogging by. She starts deliberately leaving home as he jogs past, and exercising in the front garden. It does the trick, he introduces himself. Karl is in training for a 100 mile triathlon. Linda embarks on a fitness regime to try and impress him. Darren and Jimmy won't admit to being unfit, so end up roped into attending the circuit training sessions Karl runs. Of course they are rubbish, but Jimmy refuses to give up and let Karl believe he's better than him. Everything is going perfectly until Linda tries to lure Karl into the bedroom. He tells her he can't risk losing his competitive edge. Michelle lets slip to Jimmy and Darren that there's been no bedroom action. The two delight in teasing Karl while he tries to coax them towards fitness. Meanwhile Frank teases Linda about all the things she misses out on because of her new regime. Finally the triathlon is over, and Linda lures superfit Karl under

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Paul Abbott

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  6. Linda Green Season 1 Episode 9 - Two Dads
    7.0/10(1 votes)

    #6 - Two Dads

    S1:E9

    There's much excitement in the Green household as the family prepare to welcome Linda's ‘Uncle Vic' back from the Far East. When he turns up he and Linda immediately hit it off, they are finishing each other's sentences, and Iris realises, with horror, how alike they look. In fact, the only ones who remain blissfully unaware are Vic and Linda. The following day Vic pays a visit to Linda at work. He is puzzled by why Iris and Frank have started avoiding him. It's only when he goes to leave that Linda notices their reflection in the mirror and the startling resemblance between them. She rushes to the court to demand the truth from her mum. Iris admits she did have a one night stand with Vic. Linda gets drunk one night as she performs at the club, and announces she has to know one way or the other. The family formulate a plan. Katy learnt that if you can roll your tongue, at least one of your parents will be able to. Iris can't, Frank can and Vic can't. If Linda is Frank's daughter, she'l

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Paul Abbott

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  7. Linda Green Season 1 Episode 10 - Motherhood
    7.0/10(1 votes)

    #7 - Motherhood

    S1:E10

    Michelle and Darren make a big announcement. They are getting married, and they are also expecting another baby. Linda is stunned, and none to pleased, but the whole thing gets Jimmy thinking. Time is slipping away and he starts to wonder if he's going to have time to have kids, maybe he and Linda ought to do it now. Linda has no desire to have kids, but with all the talk she starts to wonder. She decides the only way to be sure is to give it a try. She gets a shop dummy of a small child, dresses it up and names it Nick. Immediately she and Jimmy start to disagree over how to look after kids. He doesn't like the name, he doesn't like the clothes, he doesn't like the way Linda spoils him! One night at the club Jimmy finds Nick backstage with Linda. She tells him she's pretending they've had a row and he's walked out. As he protests that that would never happen it turns into a real row. It escalates until he tells her she can't sing, and gets a smack in the mouth for his trouble! Eventua

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Paul Abbott

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  8. Linda Green Season 2 Episode 4 - Blind Date
    7.0/10(1 votes)

    #8 - Blind Date

    S2:E4

    Linda's luck with men seems to be changing - she's met a man and he's romantic, sensitive, gentlemanly, generous and available! To seal a deal at the garage where Linda works, she agrees to do Colin, the sales rep, a favour. She agrees to go on a blind date with his friend, Stan. Stan's recently divorced and hasn't had any female action since his decree nisi. Linda's up for it, explaining to best mate Michelle; ""It's a means to an end. Not so much lie back and think of England, more sit back and think of the bonus."" When Michelle warns her that Stan could be a serial killer, Linda claims it's fine ""as long as he doesn't have a moustache."" Stan (played by ex-Holby City's Jeremy Sheffield) turns out to be gorgeous! He's brings her flowers and chocolates, wines and dines her. It all seems too good to be true - and it is...... Darren and Jimmy find out that 'Stan' isn't Stan. In reality, Stan is short, bald and has a missing finger! Linda's Stan is a fake. Michelle tells the boys not to sa

    Director:Charles Palmer
    Writer:Unknown

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  9. Linda Green Season 2 Episode 5 - Focus
    7.0/10(1 votes)

    #9 - Focus

    S2:E5

    Linda spots a good-looking canvasser doing market research and makes a beeline for him. Andy is looking for couples for a focus group testing a new brand of condom. Linda drags on-off Jimmy along as her boyfriend so she can get to know Andy better! Linda turns out to be the star pupil, coming up with all the answers and flirting with Andy (although he doesn't really seem to notice - he just thinks she's being really friendly!). Linda's soon signed up for all the focus groups - dog food (for her imaginary dog), lawnmowers (for her imaginary garden), drills (for her imaginary DIY interest.....you get the picture). Andy's impressed with her ethusiasm and takes up her offer of a drink at her place. Linda thinks it's a good sign of things to come. Unfortunately Andy has a girlfriend and it seems he only really wanted to come back to Linda's to check out her buying habits and the consumer products in her kitchen!

    Director:Charles Palmer
    Writer:Unknown

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  10. Linda Green Season 2 Episode 6 - Viva Espana
    7.0/10(1 votes)

    #10 - Viva Espana

    S2:E6

    Linda's holiday plans go awry when she oversleeps after a big night out and arrives late at the airport. She gets there to find that she's just too late—Michelle, Darren and Jimmy have flown off to Ibiza without her! As night falls, she's still not managed to book another flight. Despondent, she's forced to retreat to the all-night coffee lounge where she meets Marko, a cute Mediterranean-looking waiter. Before long, Linda and Marko are getting to know each other in the back room and Linda decides to cut her losses and join the Green family on their caravanning holiday in Rhyl - and takes Marko along. Having lost both his parents and been brought up by his gran in Cardiff, Mark's thrilled with the cosiness of his new-found family in Wales. But soon Linda realises that Marko's more needy that cosy. And he's seems more interested in her family than Linda herself. When's Linda's dad Frank says that Marko is just lonely, Linda complains: ""So am I now! He spends all his time with you!"". Mea

    Director:Dan Zeff
    Writer:Paul Abbott

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  11. Linda Green Season 2 Episode 7 - Like Father
    7.0/10(1 votes)

    #11 - Like Father

    S2:E7

    It's Linda's dad, Frank's birthday, and he's not taking the day well. He's very irritable, pondering on what he's missed out on in his life while he's been busy mopping up numerous finanicial and romantic disasters of his kids—especially Linda. Down at the club with his family and friends, he gets the surprise of his life when he spots an old mate he last saw 30 years ago. Handsome, fit and stylish, Brian has aged considerable better than Frank! Linda certainly isn't slow to notice either. Brian has also lived a very different life to her dad Frank. Instead of settling down with a mortgage and kids, he's travelled the world and this excites Linda very much. Despite the age difference, the attraction is mutual and soon neither of them can control their libidos! ""Fantastic kisser and not as wrinkly as I was expecting!"", Linda tells her best mate Michelle. She doesn't confide in her dad though as she knows that there's no way that he'd approve. Jimmy and Darren think the situation's hilar

    Director:Dan Zeff
    Writer:Unknown

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  12. Linda Green Season 2 Episode 8 - Easy Come, Easy Go
    7.0/10(1 votes)

    #12 - Easy Come, Easy Go

    S2:E8

    Linda meets Matt at the garage where she works. It doesn't take long for her to take a shine to him and they're soon going out together. But Matt doesn't like spending nights out down the club with Linda's mates. He'd rather they experienced new things together—such as roller-blading, golf, and throwing themsleves out of planes. Linda's fine about this: it's exciting and makes a change from the dull things that most men always want to do. Little does she realise the reality behind Matt's dating activities. His thirst for new and different things to do has nothing to do with his adventurous spirit—and everything to do with the fact that he'll go to any lengths to avoid doing anything that he did with his recent ex-girlfriend, Karen, whom he's trying to forget. Best mate Michelle soon begins to realise that Matt's attempting to create new memories for himself and Linda to try and distract himself from the heartbreak about his ex. Michelle persuades Linda that the only way she'll get to t

    Director:Dan Zeff
    Writer:Unknown

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  13. Linda Green Season 1 Episode 3 - Lesbians
    8.0/10(1 votes)

    #13 - Lesbians

    S1:E3

    Michelle and Linda are getting ready for a night on the town. Linda is feeling good and convinced she's irresistible. Naturally it is Michelle who catches Darren's eye, and the two have to banish Linda downstairs while they indulge in a few moments of passion! Linda can't believe her eyes when six Greek gods walk into the club. She's all ready to have the night of her life. Unfortunately the men all gather adoringly around Michelle and Linda can't get a look in. The next day at work Linda tries to flirt with the punters, but just receives the brush off. In desperation, she asks Fizz if any of his friends fancy her, again she gets a no. She can't even get a jump out of Jimmy because he's happy with his new girlfriend, Siobhan. Linda decides it's time to turn over a new leaf. She's giving up men, she's going to find herself a woman. She persuades Michelle to come with her to a ‘Singles Mingle' night in a lesbian bar. This succeeds in getting Darren all fired up again, and once again Lind

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  14. Linda Green Season 1 Episode 6 - Victim Support
    8.0/10(1 votes)

    #14 - Victim Support

    S1:E6

    Linda staggers home with the gang after a big night out, only to find that her flat has been ransacked. All kinds of electrical equipment has gone, and a bag with keys in. Linda asks Jimmy to stay the night, but Darren leaps into action, telling Linda to stay at his place while he and Jimmy change all the locks. Jimmy tells Darren he blames the people Linda meets in internet chatrooms for the burglary. Darren is intrigued and excited by the idea. Suddenly, a woman, Norma, bursts in waving police ID. She has a good look around the flat and questions the boys who assume she's a detective. When she catches up with Linda she asks for a list of all the men she's been involved with in the past year. She's amazed when the list comes to fifteen! Norma keeps popping up, asking everyone Linda knows about the burglary and filling Linda's head with frightening statistics. She even turns up at the club one night. Unfortunately her dancing dislodges her ID and when Michelle picks it up she realises

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Paul Abbott

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  15. Linda Green Season 1 Episode 7 - Sexual Harassment
    8.0/10(1 votes)

    #15 - Sexual Harassment

    S1:E7

    Syd's divorce has come through and he's celebrating by coming over all touchy feely with all the girls at Craven Lane Motors. All of them except Linda that is. When Linda suggests they get together to put a stop to it, she discovers that no-one wants to get on the wrong side of him since there's a big training bonus in the offing for one member of staff. Linda moans to her mum and dad about being left out of the groping. Suddenly, Iris flies off the handle. She attacks Frank for everything he is and everything he stands for, and asks Linda if she can come and stay at hers. Bemusedly Linda agrees. Iris insists on watching blue movies with the gang, and refuses to speak to Frank even when he serenades her over the phone. Eventually Linda persuades Iris to admit what's been going on. Iris has set her heart on becoming a ballroom dancer. She's secretly been taking lessons and hopes to go professional. Meanwhile, she decides to confront Syd about the lack of attention. He admits he can't gr

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  16. Linda Green Season 2 Episode 1 - No Friends
    8.0/10(1 votes)

    #16 - No Friends

    S2:E1

    Feeling post-natal and paranoid after the birth of their new baby—and with their sex life gone to pot—Linda's best mate Michelle reaches breaking-point when she clocks Linda pinching boyfriend Darren's bum at the club. Unable to convince her friend she's got it wrong, and faced with her own forthcoming birthday celebrations - which even Linda's on-off amour, Jimmy doesn't want to attend because of the fall-out - Linda cancels the party she'd planned for a night in alone with a pizza and a few beers. Never one to start lonely for long, Linda decides to pour out her heart to the unsuspecting pizza delivery boy. Eddie (turns out to be a born listener with a head stuffed full of half-baked New Age philosophies. According to him, all Linda needs to do a reverse of her ill-fortune is to carry out a spot of emergency Feng Shui on her flat. Delighted with the results of sorting out her own negative shi, Linda gets to work on the energy hotspots in all her friends' lives, with the aid of a well

    Director:Charles Palmer
    Writer:Paul Abbott

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  17. Linda Green Season 2 Episode 2 - Teresa
    8.0/10(1 votes)

    #17 - Teresa

    S2:E2

    Both Linda and Jimmy are between relationships and hanging out together. Linda's a little concerned at the amount of time Jimmy's spending round at her place. Their arrangement was sex and no ties—but he seems to have moved in! When explaining the problem to best mate Michelle, Linda paces the room and works herself up into a frenzy. To prove her point she calls her own answering machine to be greeted by the new greeting of: ""Hiya! We're not in at the moment, so leave a message for Linda and Jimmy after the bleep."" It's the last straw for Linda. But then Linda runs into old friend Teresa who's looking for somewhere to stay. Linda uses the opportunity to push Jimmy out and move Teresa in. Meanwhile, Jimmy's talking to Darren about what to do about the situation. He wants to win Linda back, so Darren suggests flirting with Teresa to make Linda jealous. Linda will be back in his arms in no time. However, what no-one seems to have noticed is that slowly Teresa has turned into a Single Whit

    Director:Charles Palmer
    Writer:Daniel Brocklehurst

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  18. Linda Green Season 2 Episode 3 - New England
    8.0/10(1 votes)

    #18 - New England

    S2:E3

    Linda craves a little excitement in her life. What better way to get a bit of action than via a good cause? Linda hooks up with Sukie, a PC eco-warrior who's ready to fight for any cause. Soon Linda's on a demonstration (much to Jimmy's amusement) to save the local wood. The situation gets a bit fraught and Linda ends up pushing a copper. The next thing she knows she's been banged up for the night, along with Darren and Sukie! But Linda's chuffed because suddenly she feels she has meaning in her life. Before her 'good causes' were men—but this was something so much more worthwhile! Being polictical suits her and her new idol is Sukie. Sukie's a seasoned professional and Linda feels inspired by her commitment to make the world a better place.

    Director:Charles Palmer
    Writer:Unknown

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  19. Linda Green Season 2 Episode 9 - Dark Side of the Moon
    8.0/10(1 votes)

    #19 - Dark Side of the Moon

    S2:E9

    Darren and Michelle are finally tying the knot, with Linda as bridesmaid and Jimmy as best man. He's got the rings, written his speech, everything's in order except one thing—he's forgotten to order the lads' car. Darren is furious: ""Two cars you were supposed to order, you brain dead gimp."" There's nothing for it but to leg it to the registry office and hail a cab along the way. Linda calls Jimmy on his mobile and as he pauses amidst the traffic to take the call—bam!—He's hit straight on by a van. The wedding's cancelled as bride, groom and bridesmaid rush to Jimmy's bedside. Jimmy's not in a good state: cracked ribs, concussion, a fractured hip and a broken leg. Linda volunteers to look after him at home, throwing herself into her Florence Nightingale role with abandon. After a few days of cooking, cleaning and bed baths, Linda's knackered and the novelty's worn off. She decides it's time to call in the reserves. Jimmy's mum has just been banged up for shoplifting so, much to his hor

    Director:Dan Zeff
    Writer:Unknown

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  20. Linda Green Season 2 Episode 10 - Four Friends
    8.0/10(1 votes)

    #20 - Four Friends

    S2:E10

    Michelle, Darren and Jimmy are off to an old friend's wedding do and they all pile round to Linda's to wait for the cab. Jimmy shows up with a bloody nose—he's dating Gaynor again and she's got quite a temper on her. ""It was only when he turned blue I realised she'd got his windpipe."" Darren laughs. Gaynor's real problem is with Linda: she's threatened by her and jealous of her relationship with Jimmy. To make life easier for him, Linda decides not to go to the wedding. But the others don't want to go without her. In fact, the others don't want to go at all. Soon the party's happening round Linda's with the unexpected addition of Katy and Ricky who sneak round in the hope they'll have the place to themselves for the night. As the evening progresses, and the scotch begins to flow, Jimmy drops a bombshell on Linda. He's finally had it with his ""on-again-off-again,"" ""no-strings-sex"" relationship with Linda and he's ready for something more. How will Linda deal with Jimmy's declaration: ""Y

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Paul Abbott

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Worst Episodes Summary

"Twins" is the worst rated episode of "Linda Green". It scored 6.5/10 based on 9 votes. Directed by Unknown and written by Paul Abbott, it aired on 10/30/2001. This episode scored 0.5 points lower than the second lowest rated, "Pete".