Indulging his interest in famous crimes by purchasing a pair of handcuffs reported to have been used to arrest Dr. Crippen, Jacko tests them out on Eddie and Bill. Unfortunately he hasn't brought a key!

With £59 left on the club's books at the end of the financial year, it's decided to put the cash toward a special Ladies' Night - complete with a dressing theme of 'Lady and the Tramp'.

With the Cup Final replay on a weekday - Bill's West Ham versus Eddie's beloved Manchester United, the pair have managed to get themselves signed off work, sick. But Joan and Barbie are wise to their scheme and intend to get something in exchange.

The TUC Conference is just around the corner, and Eddie plans to attend with his rather attractive female opposite from the bra factory up the road. But first he must be re-elected as shop steward, and Joan suggests Bill stand against him.

Eddie's staunch socialist, trade unionism brings relations to a head. He's outraged that Bill should want to do an honest day's work; for Bill his attitude is the last straw, and he vows never to return to the club.

Joan is fed up with not having a holiday, and with Eddie hanging round all day, she books a coach outing to Bournemouth without letting him know. But there are two snags to her scheme...

Following their latest dispute, Bill and Eddie run a poll to find out what people really think of black people in Britain. The new curate is introducing himself in the community, and challenges the pair to settle things in the ring!