The Worst Episodes of Men, Women & Dogs

Episode Rankings

1. #1 Worst Episode
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   #1 - Pilot

   S1:E110/14/2001

   While on the job, Jeremiah hits on a woman with his usual pick-up: getting her to take one bite of his chocolate cake, then luring her away from her date. After having sex, Royce asks his date to reimburse him $30 for a $120 meal, because he figured it would only come out to $90. Michelle just wants to get close to Eric, but Betsy keeps getting in the way. At the dog park, Clay obliviously tells the tale of his girlfriend, Jocelyn, who's returning from Southeast Asia weeks late...because she met up with a guy in Germany who had an extra ticket to Cambodia. Clay doesn't put two and two together until he goes to the airport with his new puppy to pick her up. Jeremiah tries to cheer up Clay, but he doesn't want to take advice from a womanizer who gives his best love to his dog. Michelle has trouble making out with Eric with Betsy staring at them. Jeremiah pulls his cake manouevre on a second girl, who soon takes him back to her place. Then he finds out she loves food as much as he does,

   Director:John Whitesell

   Writer:Unknown

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   Director:John Whitesell

   Writer:Unknown
2. 

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   #2 - Sick as a Dog

   S1:E210/21/2001

   Polly tips Jeremiah off that there's a food critic in disguise eating at the restaurant. His jaw drops when he sees her and remembers they had sex, after which he said he'd call her again -- and didn't. Jeremiah saves face with Carmen, the critic, by blaming her for not calling him back and then accepting her apology by having more sex. Eric brings Michelle to the park, which the others don't approve of -- especially after she starts talking in clinical detail about her period. When Aunt Betty finally pays Michelle a visit, she plans to make Eric go out for more pads, which her friend, Nina, disapproves of. Jeremiah goes to the newsstand to see Carmen's review first, but when she only gives the restaurant two stars, he runs around town removing every last copy of it from circulation. Michelle doesn't heed Nina's advice, and blasts Eric until he agrees to go and get her pads. Royce and Clay make Jeremiah feel worse by interpreting Carmen's review as a thinly-veiled slam about his sexual

   Director:John Whitesell

   Writer:Nicole Avril

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   Director:John Whitesell

   Writer:Nicole Avril
3. 

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   #3 - A Bone of Contention

   S1:E310/28/2001

   Jeremiah defies dog laws by bringing Wolfgang on the beach. Animal Control Officer Zajac has something to say about that, but first he'll have to catch Jeremiah to ticket him. Clay takes a liking to Summer, a street artist who takes a liking to his face. He agrees to let her sketch it. At the restaurant, Royce thinks he's finally found his equal in Kim, a penny-pincher who tells Jeremiah he overcharged her -- by a quarter. Plus tax! They agree to split dinner sometime. Zajac tracks Jeremiah at work to beat him down. While Summer is sketching Clay on the beach, she tries to get him to strip naked, but when he refuses, she says she'll just work around it. Zajac gets a new motorcycle and needs to start writing tickets to justify its expense. During their date, Kim notices she's been overcharged again, but doesn't want Royce to take care of it, she wants to skip out without paying. He does, after which they have dirty sex and talk cheap to each other. Literally. Clay returns to Summer's st

   Director:John Whitesell

   Writer:Unknown

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   Director:John Whitesell

   Writer:Unknown
4. 

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   #4 - A Bulldog Scorned

   S1:E411/4/2001

   Michelle kicks Betsy out of the bedroom after the dog licks her foot. Royce shares the story of how he met Pamela, a girl he caught driving the car he wants into a used lot, while Jeremiah does likewise with how he unsuccessfully tried to fix up Clay on a double date, only to have both girls when Clay bolts. After Betsy pushes Eric's skateboard to another woman, Michelle suspects she is trying to have her master's girlfriend replaced. Royce buys Pamela's car, and finds out $300 of the price goes to Pamela, because she ""referred"" him to the dealership. Michelle has to wear her nerd glasses after Betsy deliberately eats her contact. Jeremiah tries to force Clay to work Audie to pick up chicks. And Royce tries to get Pamela to split the referral fee with him -- while they're in bed. Michelle rigs the house with a hidden camera in hopes of having evidence to show to Eric of Betsy destroying her stuff. The dog catches on and destroys the camera instead. Jeremiah drags Clay to a club, which

   Director:John Whitesell

   Writer:Unknown

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   Director:John Whitesell

   Writer:Unknown
5. 

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   #5 - Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

   S1:E511/11/2001

   Jeremiah takes a mysterious woman, Amber, home, but before he can make a move, Wolfgang starts barking at her and ruins the date. Jeremiah decides to get Wolfgang trained, and Clay recommends joining him and Audie at ""Puppy and Me"" class. Eric wants to treat Michelle to dinner, as she's been studying for her bar exam. She cancels it, because she's brought her handsome study partner, Jim, over. Clay's looking for a new roommate, and Jeremiah learns, much to his amusement, that Royce still lives at home with his mom, Jan. Michelle suspects Eric is jealous of Jim, but the only thing Eric is jealous of is Jim playing with Betsy. At Jeremiah's first class, instructor Heather and his weird classmates are offended when he refers to Wolfgang as ""his dog"" and says he wants to ""train"" him. A guy thinks Wolfgang has a sixth sense, and was barking because the woman is evil, while a vet tells Jeremiah to shut the dog up with nighttime cold medicine. Jeremiah's taunts prompt Royce to tell his mom he

   Director:John Whitesell

   Writer:Unknown

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   Director:John Whitesell

   Writer:Unknown
6. 

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   #6 - Kibbles & Grits

   S1:E612/2/2001

   After Jeremiah spins another cake tale, Royce says he swiped a piece and put it in his freezer...just in case. Michelle still loathes Betsy's attitude towards her, so Eric recommends therapy. For the dog. Cindy Waters, a former fling of Jeremiah's, bumps into him, but he barely recognizes her since she put on 200 lbs., thanks to one bite of his you-know-what. Jeremiah shrugs off Clay's comments that he should feel guilty, until, during his next move, he envisions turning another one fat. Clay's new dog walker, Sam, comes to his apartment to walk Audie, only to find Royce there. He decides to break out the cake in the freezer, and is rewarded by getting his dog walked. Doctor Fletcher, the doggie shrink, thinks Michelle is jealous of Betsy. Clay makes like Jeremiah by ordering the cake for his date, Brooke, but is unnerved when Jeremiah breaks it to him that he isn't making it anymore. Jeremiah attempts to seduce his own woman with a light lemon sorbet, which doesn't work. So Clay recom

   Director:John Whitesell

   Writer:Nicole Avril

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   Director:John Whitesell

   Writer:Nicole Avril
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   #7 - Old Dog, New Tricks

   S1:E712/9/2001

   To get his mind off Jocelyn, Jeremiah helps Clay out in the dating department by leading a collie owner, Danielle, to him. It's Eric's and Michelle's first anniversary, and she tells Nina how they met while Eric was running a rollerskate rental place. Eric, who nearly forgot the occasion, shows Jeremiah and Royce the necklace he got for Michelle. At The Strand, Danielle cuts her first date with Clay short after she gets bored listening to him talk about Jocelyn...among other things. Plus, she's had her eye on Jeremiah all along. So she asks him out, claiming she and Clay didn't click. Eric wakes up on anniversary day to find Betsy ate the necklace. He rushes the dog over to the vet, but when he refuses an operation to get it out, the vet recommends using some stimulation to speed up the recovery process. Jeremiah's stunned when Clay tells him that Danielle is the one. Clay soon wakes up to reality when he tries to call her to arrange a second date and Jeremiah's phone starts ringing. J

   Director:John Whitesell

   Writer:Unknown

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   Director:John Whitesell

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8. 

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   #8 - Dog Day Afternoon and Night

   S1:E812/16/2001

   Jeremiah seeks Clay's advice when a woman he did, Deena, leaves a message that makes it sound like he's a father. When Eric goes out and leaves Betsy home with Michelle, she accidentally locks the dog in the dryer, then thinks it got loose. Michelle gets Jeremiah and Clay to help her find the dog, but Eric arrives home earlier than expected, leaving her no choice but to come clean. The gang split up to search, with Jeremiah and Clay the first team, Eric and Michelle the second team and Royce... well, no team. Jeremiah tells Clay he plans to marry Deena. Angry that the others didn't want his help, Royce hopes he'll find Betsy and win them over. Instead, he finds a window looking into the bathroom of a bunch of hot girls bathing. Eric and Michelle put up wanted posters, while Royce peeps at the half-dressed girls. Until he gets caught, anyway. On film. Jeremiah and Clay pay a visit to Deena's house, but it's not what they thought; Jeremiah didn't get her pregnant, Wolfgang got her dog pr

   Director:John Whitesell

   Writer:Unknown

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   Director:John Whitesell

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9. 

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   #9 - A Fetching New Lawyer

   S1:E912/30/2001

   Royce hits on a beautiful woman, Sandra, but when he pretends to be admiring her wardrobe rather than her body, she thinks he's gay. Michelle nervously awaits the belated arrival of her bar exam results. Royce decides to use Sandra's assumption to his advantage by going to her place to cuddle and watch her try on clothes. Michelle thinks it's weird that Eric rented out The Strand for Betsy's surprise birthday party. She reluctantly goes, and finds out Eric threw the party for her for passing the bar -- the results of which came and he hid. Jeremiah meets Nina and fails to seduce her, as she's not into food. Michelle tells Eric she doesn't care he opened her mail because she passed. Eric admits he doesn't even know if she passed since he didn't open her mail. Now she cares since, unlike him, she isn't sure that she did pass. Royce tells an unamused Clay that he's going to get Sandra drunk, then say he's having ""confusing feelings."" Eric gives Michelle the letter, but she panics and won'

   Director:John Whitesell

   Writer:Unknown

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   Director:John Whitesell

   Writer:Unknown