The Worst Episodes of Old Tom

Angela Throgmorton is leading a somewhat lonely life when a strange, scruffy, creature appears on her doorstep. Feeling sorry for the poor thing, she takes it in, feeds it and cleans it up. However, when the creature manages to flood the house, Angela decides to find another home for it. This soon teaches Angela two lessons: firstly, that no-one wants the creature; and, secondly, that she really quite likes him. However, Old Tom and Angela get separated, and Angela goes home alone. Then a storm hits. Angela, learning that the creature has taken shelter in a storm drain, goes off to rescue him. Surfing through the drain on her ironing board, Angela snatches her new friend just before the storm-waters can wash him away. Angela takes him home and calls him Old Tom.

Director: N/A

Writer: David Witt

Told by her friend, Lavinia, that she and Old Tom should 'smarten themselves up', Angela takes Old Tom to the local department store to buy new outfits. There, they bump into Lavinia, who insists on taking them shopping. Lavinia leaves Old Tom to play on a children's ride, as she takes Angela around the store, buying increasingly silly outfits for her. Meanwhile, Old Tom breaks free from the ride and causes mayhem around the store, much to the anger of the store manager, Mr Pangborn. Angela, in her new outfit, gets away from Lavinia, just as Old Tom, in disguise, manages to escape Mr Pangborn. They both end up in the Missing Persons department, where they recognise each other and, shedding their silly outfits, decide they don't need to smarten up, after all.

Director: N/A

Writer: David Witt

Old Tom is getting in Angela's way as she tries to tidy the house, so she suggests he goes outside and find a friend. However, outside Old Tom is teased by Billy and, worse, trapped by a savage dog. He is saved at the last moment by a young girl called Lucy. They hit it off immediately, and Lucy invites Old Tom around to her place to play. Unfortunately, they are followed by the savage dog, who bursts into Lucy's house and causes mayhem. Old Tom and Lucy lock the dog in her room and escape, just as her parents come home. They think Old Tom caused all the mess and forbid Lucy from seeing him again - that is, until they accidentally let the dog out. Then Old Tom and Lucy, using one of Angela's vacuum cleaners, manage to get rid of the dog, and teach Billy a lesson.

Director: N/A

Writer: Andrew Kelly

Angela goes shopping for a playhouse for Old Tom and ends up buying an old rocket ship. Old Tom loves it and, with his best friend Lucy, they decide to fly it to Mars. Angela thinks they are just playing (after all, the booster rockets have been taken off) and she goes along with their little 'fantasy'. However, while she is cleaning the rocket, it takes off - Old Tom had used one of Angela's vacuum cleaners as the propulsion. The rocket flies off into space with Old Tom on the inside, and Angela on the outside, battling meteors and satellites. Finally, Old Tom lets her in, just as the rocket careens out of control and crash lands on an unknown planet. Angela is sure they're on Mars - but one of the aliens looks familiar. It's Lavinia, and they have literally 'crashed' her garden party.

Director: N/A

Writer: Andrew Kelly

Lavinia decides to 'elevate the cultural tone' of Angela's household, by giving them regular musical recitals on her violin. Her talent, however, is negligible, and Old Tom and Lucy can't stand the racket. When Lavinia and Angela go out for a cup of tea, Old Tom has a go on the violin and discovers he is a prodigy, fiddling a tune so fast that he breaks all the strings. Lavinia returns, but doesn't notice the broken strings because she is in a hurry to get to a TV talent show, on which she is a contestant. Lucy and Old Tom hope Lavinia wins because the first prize is a trip around the world - which means no violin recitals for six months! However, they realise she can't win, because her violin has no strings. So Old Tom, grabbing another violin, races off to give Lavinia a helping hand.

Director: N/A

Writer: Phil Sanders

Lavinia takes Angela with her to the beauty salon for a complete makeover . Angela is reluctant, but agrees to go if Old Tom can come, too. At the salon, they are greeted by the temperamental owner, Istvan, who mistakes Old Tom for a particularly hairy customer and tries to give him a beauty treatment. In Old Tom's struggle to escape, Istvan ends up bald instead, and chases Old Tom furiously around the salon. Old Tom hides in Lavinia's room, where he is mistaken for a beautician, and told by Lavinia to begin her 'full treatment' immediately. Old Tom gleefully obliges, using whatever odds and ends he can find. Istvan bursts in just as Old Tom is finishing. Lavinia looks bizarre, but she likes her new look and thanks Istvan, who can only smile and take the credit.

Director: N/A

Writer: Helen Meany

Angela tries to get her old car repaired, but is talked into trading it in for a new car, instead. The salesman persuades Angela and Old Tom to test drive a sports car, but Angela drives so timidly that Old Tom floors the accelerator. The car zooms through town, attracting the attention of a traffic policeman who gives Angela a ticket. Angela returns the sports car and next tries a four-wheel-drive. But that is too powerful, so she tries a limousine which is so sophisticated she can't even drive it. Eventually, Angela decides to keep her old car, but learns it has been taken to the wrecker's yard. So Old Tom has to race off and save it.

Director: N/A

Writer: Phil Sanders

Angela falls off the roof while trying to retrieve Old Tom's golf balls, and is confined to bed. She suggests getting Lavinia to look after the house for them, but Old Tom - fearing how Lavinia might treat him - offers to run the house, instead. In his own way, Old Tom manages quite well. He tidies the house, cooks dinner, looks after Angela and even does the shopping - which is where Lavinia spots him. Suspicious that Old Tom would be allowed to shop on his own, Lavinia goes to Angela's house and finds her bed-ridden. Adopting the air of a martyr, Lavinia insists on running the house, and makes Old Tom's life a misery by making him do all the actual work. So Old Tom fakes an injury and ends up in bed with Angela, while Lavinia has to wait on them, hand and foot.

Director: N/A

Writer: Michael Wagner

Lavinia comes to take Angela golfing. Old Tom and Lucy want to go golfing, too, but Lavinia tells them the golf club won't let 'undesirables' play - they have to stay home. At the golf course, Angela is excited because, even though she has never played golf before, she turns out to be a natural, and easily out-plays Lavinia. This infuriates Lavinia, who starts to cheat. Meanwhile, Old Tom and Lucy, sneak onto the golf course and spy on Angela and Lavinia - noticing that Lavinia is cheating. They secretly undo Lavinia's cheating, so that Angela wins the game. The club manager is so impressed with Angela's skill that he offers her life membership. But when he tries to chase off Lucy and Old Tom for being 'undesirables', Angela refuses, saying she'd rather be with her friends.

Director: N/A

Writer: Phil Sanders

Lavinia takes Angela and Old Tom to the town's finest restaurant. Old Tom is horrified when the owner, Chef Geoff, serves them tiny portions, so he hijacks the dessert trolley. Old Tom gets thrown out, but he doesn't mind because he thinks his culinary nightmare is now over. Unfortunately, Angela has bought the Chef's cookbook and attempts to make his dishes at home. Even Angela thinks the food is inedible and returns to the restaurant to find out why the recipes don't work. By mistake, Old Tom's toy - a fishbone - gets put in the garbage. But when Old Tom goes through the bins to find it, he discovers Chef Geoff's guilty secret - he is really serving pre-packaged and out of date food. The restaurant is closed down and Old Tom goes back to his old diet.

Director: N/A

Writer: Fethi Nedjari

Lavinia has entered Angela's house in a 'Tidy Home' competition, so Angela goes out to buy flowers while Old Tom tidies up his room. Angela specifically reminds him that ""not a thing must be left on the floor."" Unfortunately, Old Tom takes this literally and, with the help of Lucy, he takes everything off the floor in the house and throws it into the back garden, where they attempt to hide it by wrapping it all in curtains. When Angela returns home with her flowers she is shocked to see the place barren, and faints. Then the judges arrive. But far from being shocked, they are impressed by the bare floors and, especially, the big 'sculpture in the back garden. Angela's house wins first prize.

Director: N/A

Writer: Pierre Ryngaert

Old Tom is being pestered by a bird which has built its nest on top of Angela's chimney. The bird disturbs Old Tom's sleep, takes his food and fills the house with smoke. Old Tom is just about to squirt it off with a hose, when a bulldozer arrives. The driver explains he has come to knock down Angela's house, to make way for a freeway. He says Angela and Old Tom will be re-housed in a modern apartment block. They check out the apartment - but it's hideous, and they decide to stay in their home. As the driver starts his bulldozer, Angela, Lucy and Old Tom hold a tea party in front of it, blocking its way. Just then, the bird flies down to take Old Tom's food, and the driver recognises it as a rare species. Because it's nesting on the house, he can't knock it down after all.

Director: N/A

Writer: Phil Sanders

Lavinia has entered Angela's house in a 'Tidy Home' competition, so Angela goes out to buy flowers while Old Tom tidies up his room. Angela specifically reminds him that ""not a thing must be left on the floor."" Unfortunately, Old Tom takes this literally and, with the help of Lucy, he takes everything off the floor in the house and throws it into the back garden, where they attempt to hide it by wrapping it all in curtains. When Angela returns home with her flowers she is shocked to see the place barren, and faints. Then the judges arrive. But far from being shocked, they are impressed by the bare floors and, especially, the big 'sculpture in the back garden. Angela's house wins first prize.

Director: N/A

Writer: David Witt

It's Angela's birthday and Lavinia has several treats planned for her. But she is annoyed that Old Tom is coming, too - especially when he gets them thrown out of a café. At Lavinia's next treat for Angela - a trip to the skating rink - Old Tom goes wild in a zamboni and covers Lavinia in ice. Furious, she refuses to let Old Tom go to the next treat - he has to stay with Lucy, instead. When Lucy decides to play dress-ups, Old Tom realises their costumes are so good they can follow Angela and Lavinia in disguise. They see Lavinia and Angela try to get into Lavinia's final treat for Angela - the -studded opening of a new Cineplex. However, the doorman rejects them for not being stars. So, Old Tom, posing as a celebrity, manages to get Angela and Lavinia into the opening.

Director: N/A

Writer: David Witt

Old Tom is upset when Lucy has to go to a friend's party, so Angela takes him to the beach to cheer him up. As Angela dozes, Old Tom gets up to mischief. He grabs hold of the tail of a kite, which carries him out over the sea and drops him onto what looks like a pirate ship. However, it turns out to be a pirate-themed children's party, and Old Tom eats all the food. When the kids discover what he has done, they tie him up and threaten him with 'Scarface, the meanest pirate of them all'. However 'Scarface' is really Lucy, and Old Tom is untied. Before the party can resume, the birthday boy's father, who has fallen overboard, is chased by a shark, so Old Tom grabs a rope and rescues him.

Director: N/A

Writer: David Crozier, Guy Gross

Lavinia persuades Angela to buy Old Tom a computer, so he won't get up to mischief. When the computer arrives, Old Tom is more interested in playing with the box, so Angela tries the computer instead. She is hooked immediately, surfing the internet and paying no attention to Old Tom or anything else. He takes advantage of this by getting up to mischief - preparing his own food, and kicking a football inside the house. But the fun soon palls for Old Tom - the place is a mess, he runs out of food, and he misses Angela. In desperation, he enlists the help of Lavinia and Lucy, who realise Angela is hypnotised by the computer. They rush her to the nearest café and give her a cup of tea. Soon, Angela is herself again - until she discovers it's an internet café!

Director: N/A

Writer: Phil Sanders

Lavinia thinks her nephew, Billy, is a brilliant artist and hangs one of his paintings in Angela's living room. When Lucy and Old Tom see it, they think Angela must be desperate for a painting, so Old Tom paints a self-portrait to replace it. By mistake, it ends up at the Art Gallery in an exhibition of 'Modern Masterpieces'. Meanwhile, Lavinia is trying to interest the Gallery in one of Billy's paintings. However, the curator thinks it's rubbish and points to Old Tom's painting as an example of great art. Lavinia leaves, just as Old Tom and Lucy sneak in and retrieve his painting. When Lavinia arrives at Angela's, she is surprised to see the 'great example of modern art' hanging on her wall.

Director: N/A

Writer: Fethi Nedjari

When Lavinia discovers that 'the great example of modern art' was painted by Old Tom, she takes it to a local gallery owner who offers to exhibit and sell Old Tom's paintings, and give Lavinia half the money. Lavinia greedily asks Old Tom to paint four more paintings, but he will only do so if she does something for him in return. Lavinia, desperate, agrees. As she runs around after Old Tom - buying him gifts, giving him treats, etc - Angela feels left out. On the day of the exhibition, Old Tom happens to be passing the gallery and, seeing all the food, bursts in and makes a pig of himself. When the art patrons realise this is the painter, they think it's a joke and don't buy his paintings. Old Tom doesn't mind. He takes the paintings home for Angela, and Lavinia doesn't get a penny.

Director: N/A

Writer: Stu Connolly

Lucy is having trouble with her school project on Leonardo Da Vinci, so Angela takes her and Old Tom to the local museum to get more information. While there, Old Tom and Lucy play around on a replica of a Da Vinci flying machine, and actually make it work! They fly it around the museum to where a professor is explaining why Da Vinci's flying machines can never work. The museum curator is horrified that Old Tom and Lucy are playing in one of his exhibits, but the professor is amazed and delighted that they have made it fly. To Angela's delight, he congratulates the youngsters and helps Lucy finish her project.

Director: N/A

Writer: Marie-Pierre Thomas

Lavinia takes Angela, Lucy and Billy on a picnic in the countryside. When they open the picnic hamper, they discover that Old Tom has hidden inside and eaten all the food. Lavinia is horrified, but Lucy suggests they can fish for food in a nearby river. As they look for the river, they are chased by a bull, disturb a beehive and upset a farmer. However, when Old Tom manages to catch some fish by scaring them out of the river, all is forgiven, and the farmer is invited to join their picnic lunch.

Director: N/A

Writer: David Crozier

With all his friends away for the holidays, Old Tom is bored - so Angela reluctantly sends him off to summer camp. Despite Angela's fears, Old Tom settles in immediately and makes new friends among the campers. Angela, however, is still concerned that Old Tom won't be able to cope without her, so she goes back to the camp and makes his bed, tidies his tent and brings him a bag full of supplies. The other campers make fun of Old Tom and when they go on their bush walk, they make him bring up the rear. However, when the campers get into trouble by falling into a raging, crocodile-infested river, Old Tom saves the day with Angela's bag full of supplies.

Director: N/A

Writer: Fethi Nedjari

While Angela is sleeping, a couple of thieves sneak into her house and steal her most treasured possession - a valuable antique vacuum cleaner. Old Tom, however, sees them and hides in the back of their getaway truck, leaving a trail of sweetie wrappers behind him. When the thieves unload the stolen goods into their warehouse, they unknowingly unload Old Tom, too. Meanwhile, Angela wakes up and discovers that her vacuum cleaner - and Old Tom - are missing. With a policeman's help, she follows the trail to the warehouse, where Old Tom catches the thieves and hands them over to the policeman.

Director: N/A

Writer: Phil Sanders

Old Tom overhears Lucy and Angela complaining about Billy, and mistakenly thinks they are talking about him. Devastated that not even his best friends really like him, Old Tom runs away from home and joins a circus. There, he is immediately accepted and told that he is not the 'no-hoper' he thinks he is. With the encouragement of the Ringmaster, Old Tom learns that everybody has a talent, and his talent is to make people laugh. Meanwhile, Lucy and Angela search the town for Old Tom and eventually find him in the circus - just as he is doing his act. They clear up the misunderstanding with Old Tom, telling him they were always proud of him and always will be, and he returns home with renewed faith in himself.

Director: N/A

Writer: Phil Sanders

While playing frisbee, Old Tom accidentally breaks Angela's favourite record by her favourite singer, Tom Moans. Old Tom and Lucy try and buy a replacement copy, but it's impossible to find. When they learn Tom Moans is performing in town, they try and buy Angela tickets to the show, but it is sold out. Instead, they go backstage and try to get Tom Moans's autograph, but find him in tears - he has lost his chest hair wig, and won't perform without it. Old Tom has an idea. Lucy rushes off and brings Angela and Lavinia to the show. Angela wonders how Lucy got free tickets, so Lucy points to Tom Moans's orange chest hair. Angela looks through her binoculars - the chest hair is really Old Tom!

Director: N/A

Writer: David Witt

Old Tom wants some money to buy a toy, so Angela suggests he work for it - as a gardener. She lends him her old lawn-mower, and he soon has a job mowing the next door neighbour's lawn. However, mowing is hard work, so Old Tom attaches Lucy's remote-controlled toy to the machine and turns it into a remote-controlled lawn-mower. This is much easier, until he accidentally switches controls with Billy - then the mower zooms off out of control, with Old Tom holding on. The mower and Old Tom zoom around town, cutting a zigzag maze through the town park - but the Mayor, far from being angry, is delighted with the new feature and pays Old Tom for his work. Old Tom rushes off to the shops, but instead of buying the toy he wanted, buys a new mower for Angela.

Director: N/A

Writer: Fethi Nedjari