When Victor and Margaret visit their solicitors in order to make a will they discover precisely why a waiting room is so-called.

Victor Meldrew, 60 years old, is at last retiring from the rigors of his security guard job at Watson-Mycroft. Replaced by a talking machine, Victor soon discovers that retirement will give him just as many reasons to be grumpy.

As retirement throws more problems for Victor Meldrew's retirement, including a next-door neighbour's noisy party, a disturbing and puzzling rash and an atheist funeral, has Victor bitten the bullett?

Although Margaret is glad that Victor finally has a hobby to occupy his time, she is less pleased to discover that it involves painting nudes.

After being mugged whilst photographing badgers, and having his house sprayed with the phrase 'The Man Who Lives Here Is A Turd', Victor decides to hold a crime prevention meeting.

The Meldrews are given the responsability of looking after their god-daughter's tortoise.

A variety of bizarre factors, including a dead hedgehog, keep Victor awake. And if Victor's awake, Margaret isn't going to get much sleep either.

During a power cut, Victor realises that he had been right through the middle of an area affected by a siege as it happened. Making the power cut worse, it occurs on a hot Summer night. Victor had the misfortune to have a light fitting drop right on to his privates, a cigarette stubbed out on his cap and a mysterious pain that leads him to think that he had been shot as he passed the siege that morning. Things were made worse by the arrival of the incontinent, fat and irritating elderly neighbour, Mr. Smedley.

After being stuck in the shed for over three hours, then forced to spend an entire day with his eyes closed after a visit to the optometrist, Victor cannot bear the trials of babysitting.

Following a food poisoning incident, problems with the electricity man, the Meldrews embark on a well deserved holiday, however this is only the start of their problems?

Victor discovers a new talent - writing comedy. However, his views of comedy are somewhat different from everyone elses, and he finds himself without support.

While Pippa believes that Victor may have murdered an elderly blind man, Victor uses a benefit concert to re-introduce his ventriloquist act.

Victor has a new job as a window-cleaner. Meanwhile, Patrick's plans for a quiet birthday are ruined after an unfortunate misunderstanding involving a modern art painting and Pippa finds herself in an adulterous affair.

In Mr. Swainey's production of 'Nosferatu The vampire', the actor who was supposed to play the vampire doesn't show up so Nick asks Victor to take the part. He did. Later, blood was found in Victor's digestive system during a test - after fearing the worst, the doctors discover that the blood was from an undercooked black pudding that was earlier given to Victor by Mrs. Warboys! later that week, whie on their way to visit the dreaded Ronnie and Mildred once more, Victor and Margaret are shocked to discover that Mildred has killed herself while playing a game of 'Happy Families' - they are even more shocked to discover that her body is still hanging outside the house!

When Victor and Margaret return from their holiday, they discover that their luggage has been sent to the other side of the world, and that their house has been burned down.

Alfred, Victor's accident prone brother, is making his first visit from New Zealand for 25 years. Victor is not looking forward to his stay, preferring to act as a neighbourhood vigilante.

Victor has been selected for jury service. He hasn't been required in court yet, but he is on call so he is stuck in the house all day and must somehow beat his boredom.

After a burglary Victor decides not to replace his television set in order to give him and Margaret more opportunity to get out of the house. However, a trip to the pub results in a disconcerting experience with an old friend.

Margaret is having a recurring dream about murdering someone who looks like Victor. However, it's Margaret who is starting to irritate Victor. That is, until she disappears.

Mr Swainey has brought Victor a present back from his holiday - an unlucky charm. Victor thinks that Mrs Stebbings's tv aerial is laughing at him and his resulting misfortune. Meanwhile, Patrick and Pippa are having problems trying to sell their house.

Mrs Warboys is staying with the Meldrews following the flooding of her house and is starting to irritate Margaret. However, Victor is a lot calmer than usual thanks to the reflexology treatment that he has started receiving.

Patrick is looking forward to his trip to stay with Pippa's brother after an embarrassing visit to an Armenian restaurant in order to attempt to make up with Victor. Meanwhile, the Meldrews are employing a pair of very strange workmen and Margaret is getting jealous of a marionette.

Romance is in the air for Mr. Swainey when he finally invites Tania the nurse out for a date. Victor takes a new job as a chauffeur but rapidly wipes out his employer's beloved fleet.

Margaret falls ills to nervous exhaustion that has been building up over the last 34 years. She has little chance for peace and quiet in which to recuperate, especially with Victor's problems with gorilla suits and the waste disposal system. She is however cheered by a visit from an old friend.

Victor thinks that the woman in the greengrocers fancies him. Meanwhile, Mrs Warboys has won a wax model of herself and the Meldrews are having problems with their door locks.