Thorpe is waiting for an important call from his wife as Victor, their dog, is seriously ill. Gupte misunderstands, thinking Victor is the Thorpes' son (actually named Tarquin); Figgis, smoking in a lavatory cubicle, overhears the resultant conversation and assumes that they are talking about him and that he is going to die. As the situation develops, both Norman and then Glover think they are under the shadow of death. When Gupte tells Glover he may be sent home at the end of the week, Glover decides to phone his hated boss and tell him exactly what he thinks of him.

Fed up with lying in bed all day, Figgis gets hold of his outdoor clothes and sets off for a wander around the hospital. Naturally, he is mistaken for a doctor.

There's a lot of disatisfaction with the food being served in the hospital. The trio can stand the daily menu no longer and go on hunger strike. What they hadn't bargained for, however, was how hungry they would get...

The trio get into a lather when a glamorous film star arrives on the ward.

Dr Thorpe examines a female patient without a nurse being present. Figgis, Glover and Norman try to make sure he doesn't take advantage

Figgis, Glover and Norman are about to be discharged from hospital. They consider holding a reunion.

Norman arrives at the ward and is given the bed next to the window. A game of musical beds ensues as Figgis and Archie want it too...

Norman's due for his appendix operation and is rather upset about it. He turns to Figgis for comfort in his hour of need...

Agony Aunt Clare Butterfield receives a letter from Worried of Ward 3, but her reply only confuses things...

Norman is reading a book about a pretty nurse when one actually comes onto the ward.

Glover refuses to have a blood transfusion. He's worried that the donor will be from a lower social class.

A convicted prisoner is moved into the ward. Glover, Figgis and Norman worry in case he tries to escape.

Archie's lothario-like tendencies are coming back to haunt him when he's convinced he's being stalked by a Greek madman for besmirching his fiancée...

Much to the despair of the others, Figgis becomes preoccupied with signs & portents.

It's visiting day and Norman's mother has another dreary girl lined up for him, much to the others' amusement!

The "regulars" plan a party, but unexpected guests turn up...

When Norman keeps a diary about life on the ward, everyone is anxious to get their hands on it.

Norman is planning to marry Deirdre. He wonders if three years is long enough to be engaged.

Despite being warned on a frequent basis, the patients are undeterred by the risks of smoking.

Norman has to decide whether to testify against Dr. Thorpe about an accident he witnessed.

When a TV crew arrives to make a programme about the hospital, the patients fight for stardom.

Figgis admits he's not been christened but sees the light when he meets a vicar.

An MP concerned with the spiralling costs of the NHS is admitted for treatment, but refuses to sign a petition to save the hospital.

Fed up with hospital radio, the patients try to do better themselves.

Figgis becomes interested in psychiatry and sets about psychoanalysing Glover and Norman.