The Worst Episodes of Portal

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1. #1 Worst Episode
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   #1 - Mission Briefing

   S1:E15/1/2002

   From EverQuest to Anarchy Online, from Asheron's Call to Jumpgate, Cybernaut Dave and his computer companion VAL kick off their never-ending coverage of the virtual online realms. Meet some of the personalities that make these worlds go 'round and learn how you can directly participate in the show.

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   #2 - Anarchy Online

   S1:E25/1/2002

   In the far future, citizens of the distant planet of Rubi-Ka are caught in a global struggle for their very survival ... where ""Portal"" begins its in-depth coverage of Anarchy Online. Learn how you can create your first character and battle alongside thousands of others online. We'll also take a disturbing look at the lives of online criminals, and reveal our very own virtual hero.

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   #3 - Asheron's Call

   S1:E35/8/2002

   We'll take a look at Asheron's Call, where a single spell that went horribly wrong nearly destroyed the world of Dereth. It's up to you and a few thousand of your best online friends to save the kingdom. Dave and Val will also reveal secret locales in Anarchy Online, and introduce a little thing called Star Wars Galaxies.

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   #4 - More Anarchy Online

   S1:E45/15/2002

   A global struggle threatens the very survival of the futuristic world of Anarchy Online. Witness the tragic chain of events behind this deadly war, and discover new hidden areas of the planet. Also, we'll give you a sneak peek at one of the most graphically stunning realms ever created ... it's the sequel to Asheron's Call!

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   #5 - EverQuest

   S1:E55/22/2002

   ""Portal's"" coverage of the online world continues as we take a tour of EverQuest's new moon and learn how to play its newest character class, The Beastlord. Then, we'll teach you how to build your own composite bow in Asheron's Call ... and reward yourself with a virtual gift basket! Plus, ""Portal's"" death expert, a disturbing children's story, and an incredible look at Lineage 2!

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6. 

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   #6 - More Asheron's Call

   S1:E65/29/2002

   This episode of ""Portal"" travels to the far corners of the virtual universe as we show you how to get around effectively in Asheron's Call and explore one of the game's most popular dungeons, The Lugian Citadel. Do you know who you're really playing with when you play online? Could celebrities be adventuring in the virtual realms? We'll look into it and bring you a full report. In addition, we'll take a look Everquest and a preview of City of Heroes, the world's first massively multiplayer superhero title.

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   #7 - More EverQuest

   S1:E76/5/2002

   Think Necromancing is tough in Everquest? Our gnome Olly has all the answers to make your life easier. We'll also give you a tour of the continent of Fawyder and a peek at EQ's newest expansion land, The Planes of Power. And in another realm of swords and sorcery--Asheron's Call--the monarch known as Elder reveals the secrets of his power. Then the action moves to outer space with unique interviews and game footage from Earth & Beyond Online. And finally, Dave once again examines the question of why virtual life is better than real life.

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   #8 - E3

   S1:E86/12/2002

   Check out some of the new Massively Multiplayer titles that were on display at this year's E3: Planetside, City of Heroes, Lineage 2, to name just a few. We visited with several developers and listened to what they had to say about their most exciting titles. Then, we'll teach you the secrets of what it is that a Meta-Physicist does in Anarchy Online. And why is Dave hanging out at a dangerous biker bar? We'll try to figure that out, plus take you to an online wedding, and catch up with The Drifter.

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   #9 - Dark Age of Camelot - Albion

   S1:E96/19/2002

   ""Portal"" begins its exploration of the Dark Age of Camelot with a close look at the kingdom of Albion, which is based on the legends of the Brits. We'll also show you how to get your first character up to level 2 in 10 minutes. Then, Trish Lewis checks out one of the hottest parties of the year in Anarchy Online. Plus, get the lowdown on a secretive new MMOG, EVE: The Second Genesis. Finally, ""Portal's"" very first quest.... Can the Drifter and a small band of heroes take on an army of Wooly Mammoths in the frozen wastelands of Everquest?

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    #10 - A Very Swampy Portal

    S1:E107/3/2002

    Get set to explore the coolest swamps in all the virtual world on this episode of ""Portal."" And wait 'til you meet your tour guides: there's Mercy the Mercenary; legendary TV star The Alligator Tamer; and, yes, the triumphant return of Grooter, the virtual world's most loveable redneck! Plus, The Drifter leads a band of heroes on a Froglok smackdown, an old geezer takes you fishing, and Dave lands an exclusive interview with the dangerous leader of the Slimebathers.

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    #11 - Dark Age of Camelot - Hibernia

    S1:E117/10/2002

    Get ready to explore Hibernia, a magical land based on ancient Celtic myths. Then, "Portal's" parade of virtual wackos continues, as you'll meet the wretchedly awful Bard, Sinny O'Connell and Woodstock-reject Rick. Plus, learn how to have your virtual character immortalized in your very own 3D portrait. And finally, we'll look into the possibility that Dave suffers from obsessive-compulsive disorder. All this, and a tough guy in a wedding dress, is coming up on this episode of "Portal."

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12. 

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    #12 - Everquest: Past, Present, and Future

    S1:E127/17/2002

    First, you'll learn the truth about the mysterious character class, The Monk. Then, we'll head into EQ's new expansion land, "The Planes of Power" and the unbelievable Everquest 2. After that, we'll depart Norrath for the all new sci-fi world known as Iritor Online--you won't believe your eyes. Also, The Drifter goes on a mad quest of revenge after someone murders his old hunting buddies. And finally, Dave once again examines the issue of Real Life vs. Virtual Life.

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13. 

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    #13 - The High Level Hoedown

    S1:E137/24/2002

    Take a journey into the Netherworld. Traverse frozen wastelands, and travel to the moon on Portal's "High Level Hoedown." But fear not low-level newbies, Zherbo Reaufeaux has a treat for you as well. Then, when cavemen murder a friend of The Drifter, you better believe someone's in for a world of hurt. Also, why is poor old Grooter in a panic? Plus, see what it's like to create your very first avatar in Earth & Beyond Online.

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    #14 - VBS Is On The Air

    S1:E147/31/2002

    Dave and VAL decide to launch their own television network within the virtual world: VBS! Be the first to sample some of their red hot shows, like Phobia Face Off, The Courting Game, Trapped, and Dave-Strolling. You gotta see it to believe it! Plus, be prepared for some surprise special guests. The Virtual Broadcasting System is now on the air!

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15. 

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    #15 - Dark Age of Camelot - Midgard

    S1:E158/7/2002

    Dave and VAL give you a detailed look at The Dark Age of Camelot's Midgard, including a How-To-Be-a-Hunter Guide, courtesy of Dr. Bloolittle. Plus, The Ultimate launches his grandest assault ever, and "Portal" may never be the same!

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16. 

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    #16 - Visions of Rick

    S1:E168/14/2002

    Is Dave finally going crazy, or is the hippie Rick really trying to contact him from the next world? Dave better figure it out fast, because it's going to be a busy day in The Hub: learn how to build your first spaceship in Earth & Beyond, how to play an Engineer in Anarchy Online, and how to appreciate the beauty of poetry. Plus, Dr. Julia Hopkins, the woman who brought virtual OCD into the spotlight, has a new report on an even more disturbing psychological disorder. And Finally, is The Drifter getting a sidekick?!?

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17. 

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    #17 - The Secret Origin of Grooter

    S1:E178/21/2002

    You've watched him take down high-level monsters with but a single blow--now learn how a man so incredibly simple has achieved such incredible heights of power. It's the secret origin of Grooter! Plus, Dave hops into his "Yalmaha XL" air vehicle to give you a personal tour of the most ferocious and extreme zone in all of Anarchy Online ... prepare yourself to witness monsters like you've never seen before! And finally, The Drifter decides he's tired of reacting, and goes on the offensive....

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18. 

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    #18 - Tales of Sacrifice

    S1:E188/28/2002

    Selfish behavior is prevalent in the virtual world. That's why Dave and VAL have decided to share ""Tales of Sacrifice"" with you. Five inspiring stories of selflessness from five distinct virtual worlds: Anarchy Online, Everquest, Asheron's Call, Dark Age of Camelot, and Earth & Beyond Online. Some of these tales feature characters you know and love and others feature new personalities, but each story shares one common and important theme: sacrifice. Get the tissues ready.

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    #19 - Love & Hate

    S1:E199/4/2002

    Watch Portal history in the making as Dave introduces viewers to a new recurring character, his very own best friend. Also, get re-acquainted with one the virtual world's foulest villains, Darwin, and learn why this sadistic Ogre must stopped at all costs. Then, The Drifter goes head-to-head with an evil Leprechaun, and it nearly costs him his life! Also in this episode: Twin Berserkers, a Thane Video Cookbook, Earth & Beyond Online, and more!

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20. 

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    #20 - How to Make Friends Online

    S1:E209/11/2002

    In this episode, Dave and VAL show you how to forge new virtual friendships. Here's a taste of what to expect: Everyone knows that people flock to healers, and Portal will show you how to patch like a pro. Fashion expert Zherbo Reaufeaux returns with helpful makeover tips to help you make a great first impression. Dave conducts a fascinating experiment: Is it easier to make friends in the virtual world or in the real world? Meet Megan, your new best friend in Earth & Beyond Online. Take a peek at The Sims Online. And if you thought The Drifter was tough, wait'll you meet Volcano Jack!

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    #21 - Vanished

    S1:E219/18/2002

    Dave and VAL scramble to put a transmission together as their original subject, The Drifter, disappears without a trace! In this episode: Explore Everquest's newest zone, The Jagged Pine Forrest. An untold tale of The Drifter is called up from the archives. Meet the winner of Portal's "Best-Decorated Apartment Contest" in Anarchy Online. It's Sorcerer vs. Infiltrator, with color commentary by Howell Cossard! Take a sneak peek at Everquest Online Adventures for the PS2. In Earth & Beyond, a cocky Starpilot gets ready for his first flight in a new ride. And somewhere, a dark force reawakens....

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    #22 - Fist of the Redneck

    S1:E229/25/2002

    The Ultimate returns with a thirst for vengeance! But why does he have his eye on sweet, innocent Grooter? Prepare yourself for the unthinkable. Also in this episode: Peer inside the mind of a Champion! Take a sneak peek at Shadowbane! Hear from Dave's best friend, Berney! Gasp at Dr. Julia Hopkins' report on a disturbing psychological disorder. Ponder the fate of the missing-in-action Drifter! And witness the most shocking finale to any episode of Portal ... ever!

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    #23 - Captive!

    S1:E2310/2/2002

    Dave - A captive of The Ultimate! VAL - On her own! The Drifter - Missing in action! Darwin - On a rampage! Could this be the last episode of Portal ever?!? Or will unlikely heroes emerge to save the day? This is the episode you thought you'd never see ... !

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    #24 - Portal's Salute to the Elements

    S1:E2410/9/2002

    In this transmission: Meet a real life Theurgist, a magic user with the power to harness the elements! Descend into the fiercest elemental dungeons in the virtual world. Meet the elementals of EverQuest. Sneak a peek at the world of Horizons. Say hello to guest stars galore. And cross your fingers as Dave calls in a "specialist" to aid in the search for The Drifter.

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    #25 - Dave Quits

    S1:E2510/16/2002

    Dave is convinced that his presence in The Hub endangers his friends and coworkers, so he decides to leave ... permanently! Can anyone talk him out of it? In this transmission: A look back at Portal's less fortunate moments. A sneak peek at an exciting new world, ""Dragon Empires."" New information on the whereabouts of the missing Drifter. A dangerous new villain! And guests stars galore!

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