The Worst Episodes of Quark

Episode Rankings

1. #1 Worst Episode
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   #1 - Quark

   S1:E15/7/1977

   An expanding enzyme cloud threatens to destroy the galaxy.

   Director:Hy Averback

   Writer:Buck Henry

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   Director:Hy Averback

   Writer:Buck Henry
2. 

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   #2 - May the Source Be with You

   S1:E22/24/1978

   Perma One is in a state of emergency as Gorgon has created the ultimate weapon to defeat the United Galaxy. Quark is given the secret weapon (The Source) by Palindrome. Quark must believe completely in The Source in order to defeat Gorgon.

   Director:Hy Averback

   Writer:Unknown

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   Director:Hy Averback

   Writer:Unknown
3. 

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   #3 - The Old and the Beautiful

   S1:E33/3/1978

   Expecting his usual garbage assignment, Quark is excited to hear that The Head has given an ""extended romantic interlude"" with Princess Carna of Kamamor. Troubles ensue when the crew encounters a stray space baggy carrying a virus which ages Quark 2 years for every hour.

   Director:Hy Averback

   Writer:Unknown

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   Director:Hy Averback

   Writer:Unknown
4. 

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   #4 - The Good, the Bad and the Ficus

   S1:E43/10/1978

   While on a routine mission, the ship is accidentally pulled into a black hole, which splits the crew into ""good"" and ""evil"" counterparts, with the exception of Ficus, who remains the same because ""there are no good or evil plants, there are just plants"". After Quark confronts his evil self on a nearby asteroid, he defeats him and sends the evil crew back through the black hole. As the evil crew is being sent back we hear evil Adam Quark say ""Keep your deflectors up do-gooder! You haven't seen the last of this face!""

   Director:Hy Averback

   Writer:Stuart Gillard

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   Director:Hy Averback

   Writer:Stuart Gillard
5. 

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   #5 - Goodbye Polumbus

   S1:E53/17/1978

   Quark and his crew are sent on a suicidal mission to Polumbus to discover why no one has returned alive. Quark and his crew fall prey to their fantasies as part of a feindish plot by the dreaded Gorgons to drain the minds of the United Galaxy's most brilliant scientists. In this episode, Quark encounters a beautiful dream girl, Ficus encounters a teacher, the Bettys encounter clones of Quark, and Gene/Jean encounters Zoltar the Magnificent. In order to save his crew Quark must destroy the obilisk and free the ""clay people"".

   Director:Hy Averback

   Writer:Unknown

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   Director:Hy Averback

   Writer:Unknown
6. 

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   #6 - All the Emperor's Quasi-Norms (1)

   S1:E63/24/1978

   On a typical mission Quark is captured by Zargon the Malevolent, who tries to learn from Quark what ""it"" is and where to find ""it"". Meanwhile, the Zargon's daughter, Princess Libido, has fallen in love with Ficus. Ficus agrees to a meeting with Princess Libido and teaches her to ""pollinate"", which is how plants love. Meanwhile, Andy and Gene/Jean escape and disguise themselves as Gorgon scientists and Gene/Jean is asked to give a lecture on ""it"".

   Director:Bruce Bilson

   Writer:Unknown

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   Director:Bruce Bilson

   Writer:Unknown
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7. 

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   #7 - All the Emperor's Quasi-Norms (2)

   S1:E73/31/1978

   Ficus sacrifices himself and marries Princess Libido to save his crew. Meanwhile, Quark and the Bettys are sent down to the planet to be eaten by a Lizigoth, but are saved by The Baron. Quark is able to return to the Zargon's ship, where Quark and Ficus bid farewell.

   Directors:Hy Averback, Bruce Bilson

   Writer:Unknown

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   Directors:Hy Averback, Bruce Bilson

   Writer:Unknown
8. 

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   #8 - Vanessa 38-24-36

   S1:E84/7/1978

   For Holiday Number 11 Quark is given a new ship computer (Vanessa) by Palindrome, which will have complete control over the ship. Vanessa tries to destroy Quark and his crew to prove her superior to Quark. Quark is able to disable Vanessa and throw her down the garbage hatch. In the last scene we see Vanessa drifting through space and singing ""Born Free"".

   Director:Hy Averback

   Writer:Unknown

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   Director:Hy Averback

   Writer:Unknown