The Worst Episodes of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy

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1. #1 Worst Episode
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   #1 - For Better and Verse: Vincent T

   S1:E58/5/2003

   Vincent is a studio manager by day, but by night he is a keyboard player and back-up vocalist for The Cleftones with a desire to step into the spotlight as a solo vocalist. The Fab Five's mission: give him help in the areas of grooming, fashion and performance technique, as well as surprising his wife with a less-cluttered, more livable home decor.

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   #2 - Queer Eye for Our Production Guy: Andrew L

   S1:E68/12/2003

   This week the Queer Eye turns its gaze on one of its own: show utility grip and sometime camera operator Andrew. Andrew's problem is his dormroom-look apartment, which he shares with his brother. The Fab Five's mission: get rid of Andrew's frat boy look and give him a grown-up lifestyle that will charm and impress his new girlfriend Diana.

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   #3 - Law & Disorder: John V

   S1:E78/19/2003

   The Fab Five take a shot at remaking a New York Policeman, John Verdi, to help rekindle the romance with his model girlfriend of 3 years.

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   #4 - Talk, Dark, & Dancin': Josh D

   S1:E99/2/2003

   Josh has been working hard already to improve his own looks. He just lost about 100 pounds, but still needs further help from the FAB 5. His apartment is very thirft store furniture decorated, his fridge is constantly practically empty, and his clothes and hair could use a touch change. Josh hopes that his new girlfriend will love and appreciate him more for all the wonders that he does to himself and his home.

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   #5 - Make Over for Daddy: Tom M

   S1:E109/16/2003

   Tom is a two time divorced dad who spends most of his spare change on his kids and not on his house or appearance. problem: tom is 6'6, and set in his ways. So it begins with Carson bringing balance to his wardrobe with cool tee shirts, flat shorts, and a more modern pool bag. Kyan sends hims to a spa and gives him a citrus face wash,Ted opens the door to sushi rolls.Jai gives him theater tickets and toys,and finally Thom fixes tom's apartment with a few mirrors,a bar,and a way to show off his kids art work. The event is a small party that includes Tom's sister bringing a friend,and it goes off beautifully except for Tom putting too much wasabi in the sushi rolls,the episode ends with Tom asking the friend out for dancing.

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   #6 - Meet the Folks: Alan C

   S1:E119/23/2003

   Kids, meet Alan a sweet guy who is a penny pinching (scooby doo)Shaggy look like. He and his girlfriend Katie are planning to have their parents meet,so the Fab Five is off.Carson,after throwing out Alan's bright colored shirts, shows him that pale and earthy colors are better for him, he also buys a dark blue suit for the junior real estate tycoon. Jai assists Alan in buying a small trinket for Katie,they decide on a lovely pendant necklace and Mr.Corey is also given a quick lesson on hosting. Kyan sends Alan to the barber for a haircut and a old fashioned razor shave. Ted takes Alan to a glass shop for the cocktail party that evening where they buy a beautiful set of cocktail glasses and a martini shaker.Ted also teaches how to make canapes,roasted red peppers,mint julep, and good dry martinis.Thom has taken Alan's wide, empty spaces and made them into a dark more modern home. The preparations are foreboding as Alan sped through a touch up shaving cutting himself, as he makes the can

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   #7 - Neither Rain nor Sleet nor Length of Hair: Jeff T

   S1:E1211/18/2003

   Jeff Toale,husband,dad,taxidermist,outdoors man,former model,postal worker, this is a outgoing guy. Except he has one problem he desperately needs a makeover since he has a 30 year mustache and long hair, his wardrobe is atrocious, and he only likes to cook fish.so after doing the initial sweep the fab five split to their jobs.Carson along with Jeff and daughter Christina head off to a outdoor sportsmen clothing store Jeff is given outfits in denim,plaid, and boots.Jai takes Jeff to have his picture taken in an old modeling pose,and Jeff gets a frame and instructions to take a family photo.Kyan convinces Jeff to loose the long hair AND the mustache showing a surprising David Bowie clone. Kyan also gives Jeff skin treatment creams to help with aging. Ted shows Jeff and Christina how to make grilled fish wrapped in a banana leaf after a failed fishing trip. And Thom thrilled at a clean bathroom,lightened up the dark dining room and added new furniture to Jeff's room. The party started

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   #8 - Helping the Hard-Rocking Host: Steven S.

   S1:E1412/2/2003

   Steven is a rock music expert who dresses like an 80's band reject has fried tri- colored hair,a apartment that's been overpowered by his girlfriend Jackie's stuff,and a diet that's needs more healthy food. When Carson and Kyan take him shopping,he rebels against a paisley shirt and begin throwing things out of the stall.But he calms down when he finds out that Carson is able to work in his awesome collection of band shirts.Jai gives him tickets to an adult puppet show,a beautiful photo of Jimi Hendrix and passes for a walking tour.Kyan agrees that Steven's hair is a work in progress,he helps by getting rid of some of the colors and shaping it.Steven is then given a nose hair trimmer.Ted shows him how to make a wheatgrass smoothie and gives him a blender. Thom decorates the apartment so it looks bigger and to show that Steven exists in it. During the preperation Steven does everything perfectly, except the smoothie. On his arrival to the show, Steven's fellow hosts are amazed and Ste

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   #9 - Create an Officer and a Gentleman: Ross M.

   S1:E1512/9/2003

   Ross, a ex marine wants mix with his girlfriend Thersea who is more socially active has drafted the Fab five into helping. Carson who decides that Ross shall have a military-civilian mix wardrobe takes him to John Varatos's store where he models for the designer himself. Jai teaches Ross and Theresa how to salsa, and Kyan takes Ross to a skin care lab to have him looked over. Ted teaches Ross how to make a choclate souffle and they try out a few dessert wines. Thom drags the couple to a store where they buy a table,chairs and a new bed. He also surpises them with a flat screen TV. The preparations begin after a toast and salute, and the only serious mistake was that he under mixed his egg whites and chocolate in the souffle. Once Theresea has gotten over the shock, they enjoy the souffle and leave for the dance club. Once they begin dancing Ross is stiff and akward but during the last few minutes he loosens up.

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    #10 - Radio Ralph

    S1:E172/17/2004

    Ralph is a radio host and a part time DJ in a strip club, he lives with his twin brother Joey and well,his half of the apartment's a mess, his clothes are too flashy and he's been dating nothing but strippers. So Carson gives him toned down yet still cool outfits,Jai and Kyan take him to a Yoga class and tell Ralph that he's going on a blind date.Like with past long haired guys Kyan quickly shortens Ralph's locks and gives him the usual cleansers and products.When Ted finds one of the Sutton's knives,he discovers he can bend the blade, Ralph is given new knives,pots and pans. The food for tonight's date is stuffed mushrooms,shrimp,and a lemon dog cocktail.Thom after screaming about how horrible the furniture looks buys new modern pieces. Joey comes back and is amazed at their furniture then the date comes and the group enjoys the cocktails and snacks. And then they're off to to a rock n roll club for a live radio show where Christa, the blind date requests her favorite love song.

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    #11 - Compose Yourself: Warren L.

    S1:E193/2/2004

    Warren is a musical theater composer,and he's STRAIGHT! anyway,This former Oklahoma baby faced boy has come to make it big in the big apple. Problems:He bites his nails, his clothes make him look younger,all of his food has something growing on it,his apartment is one of Thom's nightmares.So Carson shows him that dark colors look good on him and give him some things to make look him more adult.Jai checks out the space of the theater and gives Warren some feedback cards.Kyan gets Warren a manicure and a massage.Ted shows him to tastefully display cheese and crackers.Finally Thom toned down the apartment and made it more organized.The prep is worrisome as Warren oddly skips the usual shower,but he does wash up a little and puts on the anti biting stuff,he then gets dressed and then goes into the kitchen to do the food.With some creative techniques he gets it prepared and then drops some crackers on the floor. After his roommate and girlfriend come and admire everything they leave for the

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    #12 - Queer Guy for the Skate Guy: John Z.

    S1:E203/9/2004

    This is the most romantic QEfSG yet! John is an Olympic medal winner,so is his lovely wife Sylvia who just for John,left her family in Italy to live in America.So to show just how much he loves her,John has to admit his wardrobe is nothing but sweats,tees,and track suits.He has to admit their apartment is nothing but boxes because they haven't been able to unpack yet.And he has to admit his toes are scary.So after deciding that this event will Italian themed Carson drapes John in Armani.Jai gives John a piece of art work that in John's eyes represents the hopes he has for his and Sylvia's life together,then Kyan takes John for a extremely needed pedicure and gives him a spa kit.Ted shows how to make ravioli and gets him a bottle of wine.Thom paints and decorates the apartment with light colors and shades.The prep is quick and when Sylvia comes she is amazed at the apartment and dinner.The couple quickly dashes off to Central park where they lovingly skate.

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    #13 - Meeting Mildred: Rob M.

    S1:E213/19/2004

    Rob's life consists of 2 women:his godmother Mildred,and his girlfriend of a year Terri.He wants them to meet.Rob likes wearing dashikis,jeans and Tye dyed shirts,His apartment shows that he likes cultural stuff but he has problems displaying it.His dreads are messy and his love of photography is limited. Carson mixes Robs' tastes with more grown up things.Jai takes Rob to a friends where he gets some of his photos looked over and later Rob gets a better printer.Kyan gets Robs' dreads some TLC,and gives Rob a shaving kit. Ted tells him how to prepare a fish stew.Thom matures Robs' apartment. The prep mainly consists of Rob cooking the stew,and then he has to be forced out of the shower when his guests arrive.Finally and most importantly Mildred and Terri meets and seem to be friendly toward each other. At the end of the party Rob tells his friends and loved ones how much they mean to them.

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    #14 - Training Day: James M.

    S1:E223/23/2004

    James needs help. His mother has helped him decorate by sending him stuff from Korea. The furniture is vile and the house smells like fish and James's dog is a nightmare. He has a girlfriend, Taebe, and he wants to be more focused on her. He's an Ivy-league guy, so his stuff is preppy- and he can't iron. Carson takes him to get preppy yet hip stuff, Ted takes him to learn how to decorate lemon tarts, and sets him up with a catered Moroccan dinner, and sets him up to make home-made sorbet, Thom gets him all new furniture and makes the place just nice, Kyan gets him lessons on a Thai message, and Jai takes James' dog and his own little dog Nemo to obedience school . The end is probably the worst disaster ever. The sorbet is soupy, the guy just gives up on the ironing, the dog pees everywhere and chews up one of the shoes, and the girlfriend didn't like anything he did, just the house and the outfit.

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    #15 - Do You Know the Mullet Man?:Mark F.

    S1:E234/6/2004

    Freddy Krueger's alive!how? he created Mark,whose hair is one of Kyan's nightmares.It is a mullet,kept together with loads of cheap products.Mark's stepdaughter Karly is leaving for college,and just before that its her 18th birthday and Mark is changing himself as his present.Problems:his clothes are either super dressy or complete slob,his house is gorgeous except the kitchen,and he likes being a guest more than a host.So Carson gets him sports wear(casual blazers, button up shirts),Jai tells him that he should try and connect more with Karly and to demonstrate that takes him to a rock gym which is all about trust when belaying. He also gets gift bags for the kids at the surprise party that night and shows Mark his present :a real Kate Spade bag.Kyan kills the mullet (yeah!) and gets him to cut off the mustache he has had forever making him look at least 10,15 years younger. Ted shows Mark how to make pizza,and Thom puts in new appliances in the kitchen, he also redoes Karly's room an

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    #16 - You Never Forget Your First Straight Guy: Lawson C.

    S1:E244/13/2004

    The fab five at are at it again, good ole Carson,Ted,James,Sam and Charlie.Wait, who the %$#! are Sam,James,and Charlie? the originals who were asked to leave.This episode is filled with commentary from Carson& Ted and from show creator and producers David Collins and David Metzler as they drive. Anyway, The event is Lawson's girlfriend Gable is turning 30 and Lawson wants to surprise her with a romantic date. Carson after doing the first throw out notes that Lawson like being an individual so he takes him to a place called Map and also gets thrown out of a mall. Charlie transforms Lawson's plain apartment into Thom quality.James,gets more music that's not from the 80's.Sam does some manscaping on Lawson's back and gets him a manicure,while Ted gets some chocolate and wine for gable's Dulce appetite. The prep is quick as we don't see most of it,and then we see the couple enjoy the wine and candy and find out from Carson that they've gotten engaged!

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    #17 - Romancing the Coach: Mark Fi

    S1:E254/20/2004

    The Fab Five has gotten used to receiving letters,calls,and emails from desperate wives,moms,and girlfriends pleading to change their significant men,so when the Pelham High School Girls Volleyball team emailed them about their coach it was a no brainer.Upon meeting mark,Carson notes the need for variation so he takes Mark to a golfing store for outfits he can wear to the course,out with his wife Cindy and times for coaching games.Jai shows Mark virtual golf,and they talk his relationship with his Cindy and how much he is thankful to have her,to show that Jai gets him a locket with their wedding photo and a picture of their son.Kyan takes him to a spa and gets him some hair gel.Ted after learning that Cindy is allergic to Gluten takes Mark to a health store where they gets lots of gluten free food and Ted teaches mark how to make a raspberry parfait.Mark's house was built in 1926, and so Thom gets modern pieces that mix with the architecture of the house, he also rearranges the living

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    #18 - Taking on the Twins:Brandon & David B

    S2:E16/1/2004

    The Fab 5 are manhandled(not in the way they'd like) in this episode by a pair of wrestling twins David and Brandon, who want to throw their grandpa a birthday party.The duo have almost no clothes that are actually theirs,they're apartment is just HARRIBLE and and they have no edible food in their fridge.Carson supplies the boys with the basics of a wardrobe and they also get wrestling sneakers and clothing hampers.Jai has a DVD slide show made up of photos of them and grandpa and has David work on a poem.Kyan notices some differences in the boys as Brandon chops off his hair while David gets a cut that will look good as it grows out.He also gets the guys cleaning equipment.Ted shows the twins how to decorate cakes,make pineapple sauce and roast pork.Thom does the twins house in 50's retro, gets them some wrestling safe furniture,which includes a gym mat rug and puts in some new appliances in the kitchen.The prep consists of Brandon taking charge of the roast and sauce while David does

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    #19 - Conquering the Catwalk:David G

    S2:E26/8/2004

    for David the catwalk is a chicken run. David's wife is a handbag designer and tonight's her big show she would love to have David walk with her but at the last show he bolted. Their house is bright, REALLY bright and filled with David's handmade furniture. After doing the hora,the transformation begins.The reason that David didn't walk was he didn't have the fashion confidence as his clothes are Brady bunch era.So Carson takes him to a consignment shop and gets him outfits for each season.Jai takes him to a glass studio where they make a bracelet for Jessie David's wife.After taking Polaroids of David in his outfits he shows David how he looked:confident and happy, so he shouldn't worry.Kyan decides that it would take way too long for David to get waxed so he has David do laser hair removal on his neck.He then works on the other problem David's halitosis so he gives David a tongue scraper and teeth whitening strips. Ted after hearing of David's renewal in his faith yet none in his p

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    #20 - Dhrama Dad:Michael C

    S2:E36/15/2004

    Michael began his make better 6 years ago when he converted to Buddhism.Problems:his diet (which is from the 18th century)isn't balanced,his prayer station was taken away by the birth of his son TJ,he's using the wrong products for his hair,and his clothes are all too big for him.Also his apartment has lots of cat attacked furniture.Michael loves being different,and tonight's event is Karaoke night!.Carson gets him vintage woven shirts,a new suit and snakeskin boots.Jai take Michael to his old voice coach where they tutor Michael in proper breathing and work on a song,for romance Jai talks about Henna tattoos which Michael demonstrates on Jai.Kyan takes him to the world's only fung shei hair stylist,who gives him a Edward Scissorhands-ish style,Ted takes Michael to the grocery store along with a dietician and they curse all the current anti carb diets.Tonight's dinner will be broil, baked sweet potatoes and sautéed spinach.Thom notices Michael's love of simplicity& modernism so Th

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    #21 - Straight Outta Brooklyn:Philly R.

    S2:E46/22/2004

    Philly is man who knows what he likes:his car,Britney Spears,and beer.The event:a dinner with friends and co workers then taking his Ex back to his apartment.Problems:He trashed his knee and hasn't done a lot of exercise since,his apartment looks like a teenager's,dresses like a messy hip hopper and has a odd beard.Carson keeps some of Philly's old things to give him a high class hip hop look which includes a tie with...Britney on it.Jai who usually takes the guys to yoga or dancing lessons,and gives brief romantic advice.This week has to go to a paint shop.He lets Philly pick out a bunch of doodads and that's it for culture. Kyan takes Philly to a gym where they do a light swim,Philly is given a beard trimmer and is told to keep the 5 o clock shadow.Ted takes Philly to the restaurant early to figure what Philly should order ahead of time so it'll seem that he's in charge,Philly is also given new sets of kitchen stuff.Finally Thom,with Kyan's help go to yet another modern furnitur

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22. 

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    #22 - Queer Eye for a Not-So-Straight Guy:Wayne H.

    S2:E56/29/2004

    A HISTORIC EVENT! Wayne is gay, except he's depressed.He hasn't been on a date in 3 years,he lives in a tiny apartment,has oily skin,he collects plastic bags,and he doesn't like veggies.The event:a couple pals are taking him to a bar for open Mic night.So Carson takes Wayne to ""gay men heaven""Blooming-dales,where they flirt with sales boys and get things that fit.Wayne is diagnosed as an Autumn and is told to wear oranges,greens,teals,and browns.Jai learns that Wayne has done a little performing so he and Wayne go to a improv theater along with Wayne's friend Paul where they do a few exercises.As the theater is very good for dates Jai gives Wayne some tickets. Wayne is bit confused when he meets Kyan in a park,Kyan is standing with 2 bikes,so they go for a bike ride for some cardio and talk about what Wayne likes in a guy,back at Wayne's Kyan introduces Beauty Night where they try out different moisturizers and skin treatments.Ted takes Wayne to a cafe where Wayne is stubborn on the s

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    #23 - Raising the Stakes: John S.

    S2:E67/6/2004

    John loves a good game of poker.Problems abound for this Ex cop:He loves going to the beach,but he has NEVER used sunscreen,he wears old t-shirts and shorts all year round,his house consists of unfinished projects,and he drinks loads of beer which causes him to loose fast and big in his games.Carson gets John some newer beach attire and for tonight a light green shirt, slacks, loafers and a sports jacket.John also gets new sunglasses.Jai,who got trapped in Johns' old handcuffs,brings Thom and John to a game store.They buy a green poker tabletop and a set of monogrammed poker chips,and to break them in Jai has poker expert Phil Gordon gives John some Tells to help his game. Jai found out that John's wife Rita is usually stuck upstairs during Poker Night,so he arranges for Rita and their daughter Trish to go out for a fancy dinner.Kyan takes John for a cut that adds texture,John also gets a manicure,and finally John is given a bunch of sunscreen and lotions.Ted after shaking h

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    #24 - Voiceover Makeover:Barra F

    S2:E77/13/2004

    Across the pond we go in this special episode.The Brit Barra,is a accomplished voice over announcer,and tonight he's going to try out for the British Access Hollywood but his life needs some polishing.Problems:multiple hair problems,his wife has picked his rather dull clothes,and his career has been hindered by interaction problems.Dane goes to a plant store to fix up the tiny backyard and Barras' boudoir has been re done in bright colors. Jason takes Barra to meet with Vince a reporter with Access Hollywood to have a screen test arranged.Julian gives Barra a ""funky but chic"" idea with lots of stripes.To help Barras' voice Peyton gets him a herb drink.Tristan takes Barra to meet the hosts of a popular TV show where they give him tips on interviewing,and being natural on camera.Barra is later given a shorter pointer do with highlights,and to make sure he doesn't look pale on camera he gets a spray on tan.Before the boys leave, they give their gifts:a website and new business cards.The

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    #25 - Senior Seeking Style: John K.

    S2:E87/20/2004

    John is a widower who has a ""lady friend""named Joan.Problems:has a tiny and dark apartment,he has lived on frozen food and instant coffee,recently lost 45 pounds but he needs more ways to stay fit and his clothes are all baggy. Carson gets him a new blazer and a bunch of striped shirts and teaches him slang,he also gets John new glasses and a watch.The main event is John will take Joan to the Rainbow Room for dinner and dancing so Jai takes John to a dance studio for Foxtrot lessons where the instructor flirts with John.Jai also gives John another date idea with 2 tickets to Hair spray.Kyan introduces John to Pilate's where John ""charms""the teachers,later Kyan gives John a new razor and a bunch of new facial products.Ted takes John to a low carb cooking class with his sister where John flirts with a fellow MUCH younger student ,they also try out different types of coffee.Thom brings John and Ted takes a furniture store where they look for a good mattress and before they go on they have

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