A wealthy man wants to get rid of a grand piano and Lamont gets a great deal on it. However, the big problem turns out to be moving it out of the man's apartment.

After Fred gets a minor injury from a car accident, Lamont and Fred seek to find a maid to help out around the house. After looking, they get what the agency has at the bottom of the barrel. However, the erratic white woman does nothing but add to Fred's pain.

Grady has a a piece of juicy gossip and is just dying to tell everyone. It seems Grip, an old friend, dated Fred's late-wife, Elizabeth, prior to her getting married to Fred. Elizabeth and Grip had been intimate and Lamont is the result. Fred is convinced Grip is nothing but a "jive turkey" and Esther may have the answer to this paternity question.

Engaged, Lamont is excited about his impending nuptials but on the wedding day he quickly finds himself the only one who is. The bride dumps him at the altar and he finds his relatives begging to get back their wedding gifts.

Lamont comes down hard on Fred to try to get him to quit smoking and has him go to the doctor for a chest x-ray. Later, the results are sent in the mail and Fred becomes convinced he has tuberculosis.

While cleaning the house, Fred knocks over Lamont's glass figurine collection. Trying to cover up the fact that he broke them, Fred makes up a story about how the house was robbed and how he fought them off. In the process, he is labeled as a hero and Fred takes advantage of it.

Fred wants a new color television set and Lamont wants a new car. The problem is that they cannot afford both of them, so Lamont buys the car. However, after Fred discovers Lamont's purchase, he comes up with a scheme that involves him pretending to have amnesia until Lamont will buy him a color television.

While collecting junk, Lamont runs across an old suitcase and decides it could be worth something. However, once he gets it home, Fred makes a shocking discovery when he opens the case to discover that it is stuffed with money. Lamont wants to turn the money in and Fred wants to keep it and locks in a safe. Just then a gunman shows up wanting the money.

Fred is sure that his dreams will be good luck in picking numbers for a lottery and his hunch turns out to be true, despite the fact that Lamont forbids him to participate. Fred quickly finds himself $500 richer but also finds Aunt Ethel and Bubba needing quick cash.

Fred does not feel like paying his bills and he throws them in the trash claiming that they never arrived, dragging out the services for as long as he can. After doing so, Fred receives threats that say that they will turn off the gas, electricity, and other utilities, and repossess his furniture if he does not pay.

Fred proposes marriage to Donna Harris, a widow whom Fred is in love with. Lamont can't understand why a practical nurse in her 40's would be interested in a 65-year old junk dealer, and does his best to oppose their impending nuptials.

Fred and Donna reconcile their differences and get back together with marriage being on both of their minds. Fred breaks the news to Lamont, who once again is dead set against the whole idea and decides that two can play that game and cooks up a scheme to stop Fred and Donna's impending nuptials.

Lamont breaks the news to Fred that he plans to join the crew of a tramp steamer and sail around the world. A shocked Fred gets another shock, Lamont plans on putting him in a retirement home.

Donna receives a marriage proposal from another man and she decides to base her answer on whether or not Fred is ever going to ask her. Fred must make the choice now as to whether or not he is going to marry Donna. This leads Fred into turmoil and leads him to ask Elizabeth a heart felt question on whether or not she would object to him remarrying.

Lamont tries to have a quiet evening with his latest girlfriend, Darlene, but has little privacy thanks to an annoying Fred who keeps interrupting them. Fed up, Lamont decides to move into his own apartment, which at first worries Fred but then discovers he himself has privacy.

Lamont buys Fred a new hat for his birthday and then tries to take him out on the town to celebrate. However, a visit to a fancy bar, a movie theater to see Fiddler on the Roof and dinner at a Chinese restaurant are far from a celebration for Fred.

Fred and Lamont buy a load of copper from a man that has been stealing copper in the neighborhood. The man is late for a meeting with Lamont at the diner because he is ripping off the Sanford plumbing pipes, which he then sells to Fred and Lamont.

Fred cleans the house from top to bottom and Lamont is stunned. Then he learns the reason: Fred's baby sister, Frances is visiting to announce her engagement. Fred is excited, but he soon finds her fiance, Rodney is white.

Lamont buys a porcelain figure for $15 from a silent movie star and after having it appraised, Lamont and Fred decide to take it to an auction to make even more money on it. Fred and Lamont attend the auction pretending to be buyers so that the price can be jacked up higher. However, things go awry to Lamont's dismay.

Lamont purchases two coffins from an auction to try and get a profit if he sells them to a funeral parlor. In the process, Fred becomes paranoid by having the coffins in the house and refuses to sleep in the house with the coffins. Lamont doesn't think much of it, until he begins hearing strange noises at night.

Julio's house has been transformed into Fred and Lamont's boarding house called The Sanford Arms. Now they've come to the task of finding some boarders and soon find themselves bombarded with an endless supply of crazies, including a hooker, an ex-con, a hippie, a newlywed couple, and Hoppy's eccentric mother.

Three jewel thieves try and find a way to smuggle some expensive diamonds from Hawaii to L.A. That is where Fred and Lamont come in. Fred goes to Hawaii to attend a Junkmen of America convention. The crooks then plan to sneak the jewels on Fred so that he can take them to L.A. without knowing anything about it.

Julio has gotten tired of the junk business and that's when Lamont comes up with an idea, Sanford & Son Salvage should merge with Julio's business. Julio goes for the idea but Fred is against it, but they merge anyway to form Sanford & Fuentes Salvage. However, everyone soon realizes the consequences attached to such a decision.

In another get rich quick scheme, Fred decides to go down to an escort service with a friend of his and try to apply as escorts. Flatly rejected, Fred decides to open his own escort service complete with false advertising which results in Fred having to escort three ladies in one night.

Lamont's mother-in-law to be is coming to Watts for a visit and Fred is a little concerned about what she's going to think of a common junk man. This leads Fred to decide to create a legacy and tries to set a world's record and get his name in the Guinness Book of World Records. His goal is to be the person to stay awake the longest.