A wealthy man wants to get rid of a grand piano and Lamont gets a great deal on it. However, the big problem turns out to be moving it out of the man's apartment.

Grady has a a piece of juicy gossip and is just dying to tell everyone. It seems Grip, an old friend, dated Fred's late-wife, Elizabeth, prior to her getting married to Fred. Elizabeth and Grip had been intimate and Lamont is the result. Fred is convinced Grip is nothing but a "jive turkey" and Esther may have the answer to this paternity question.

Lamont and Rollo answer an ad that promises them stardom through low-budget movies. Fred gets a hold of the brochure and decides to try out too. When they get down there they quickly discover the low budget movies are X-rated followed by a police raid and Fred, Lamont and Rollo are hauled off to jail.

Fred gets a surprise one night when Lamont announces that he's having some friends over to play poker. However, Fred doesn't take Lamont's advice at "getting lost" since he's convinced Lamont's so-called friends are trying to hustle him out of his money.

Fred and Lamont take a tour through the NBC studios and Fred gets a kick out of seeing Johnny Carson's parking spot. However, what Fred really gets a kick out of is seeing Lena Horne's car and sneaks into her dressing room. After meeting her, he tries to trick her into visiting him at his home.

Engaged, Lamont is excited about his impending nuptials but on the wedding day he quickly finds himself the only one who is. The bride dumps him at the altar and he finds his relatives begging to get back their wedding gifts.

Lamont comes down hard on Fred to try to get him to quit smoking and has him go to the doctor for a chest x-ray. Later, the results are sent in the mail and Fred becomes convinced he has tuberculosis.

While cleaning the house, Fred knocks over Lamont's glass figurine collection. Trying to cover up the fact that he broke them, Fred makes up a story about how the house was robbed and how he fought them off. In the process, he is labeled as a hero and Fred takes advantage of it.

Fred wants a new color television set and Lamont wants a new car. The problem is that they cannot afford both of them, so Lamont buys the car. However, after Fred discovers Lamont's purchase, he comes up with a scheme that involves him pretending to have amnesia until Lamont will buy him a color television.

While collecting junk, Lamont runs across an old suitcase and decides it could be worth something. However, once he gets it home, Fred makes a shocking discovery when he opens the case to discover that it is stuffed with money. Lamont wants to turn the money in and Fred wants to keep it and locks in a safe. Just then a gunman shows up wanting the money.

Fred gets a new next door neighbor and is shocked to learn that he is Puerto Rican and planning on opening a junk business of his own. Fred gets upset about the competition and contrives a plan to get the city to condemn his property especially since, Julio has a pet goat.

Fred's old girlfriend Juanita stops by for dinner with her daughter, Alice. Lamont falls for Alice and thinks of asking for her hand in marriage. However, Juanita tells Fred that Alice is his daughter and Lamont is wining and dining his sister.

Lamont goes totally African. He starts to wear African clothing, and yearns to learn more about the culture. At the same time, Fred thinks that the whole thing is ridiculous, that is until a woman from Nigeria visits and explains to Lamont how sacred listening to your father is in African culture and how you should respect him.

Fred and Lamont find a homeless bum sleeping in a bathtub in their yard. After trying to get him to move on, he pretends that he gets hurt on their property and threatens to sue. Fred and Lamont try everything in their power to persuade him not to sue and Fred does his best to try to prove the bum is not really injured.

Fred and Donna's on again off again relationship is back on and he invites her to dinner. Later, Fred gets a visit from a saleslady who peaks his interest and he blindly invites her to dinner, forgetting all about Donna. Thanks to Lamont's manipulations, he makes sure Fred has to juggle the dates around, keeping up appearances.

Donna, Fred's fiancee, brings a patient, Osgood Wilcox over for dinner at the Sanford residence and it becomes apparent that Osgood is interested in more than just medical care from Donna. Meanwhile, Lamont encourages Fred to believe there is something going on between Osgood and Donna resulting in a confrontation.

Fred and Lamont have bills coming out of their ears and consider going on welfare, something Fred refuses to do. Fred comes up with a plan to throw a "big party" in the Sanford home and charge admission. That's when two hoods show wanting a part of the action. Meanwhile, Aunt Esther is trying to find a place to hold her weekly church group meetings.

Fred and Lamont are appalled when they see a sitcom, Steinberg and Son which amazing seems to be modeled on the life of Fred and Lamont. Fred and Lamont decide to check it out themselves and go to a taping of an episode and are shocked to see the similarites. In fact, the only thing different from the sitcom and Fred and Lamont's lives are the names of the characters and the fact that the cast is white. Lamont and Fred hire a lawyer and prepare a million dollar lawsuit againt the producers.

Lamont's friend, Ah Chew cooks dinner for the Sanfords one evening and a wary Fred is quite impressed at how good the food is. This leads Fred and Ah Chew to start a takeout business together with the headquarters in the Sanford home. Fred soon realizes that they should expand the business and turn the house into a Japanese restaurant.

Fred is a Scrooge-like miser during the Christmas season and his friends try to get him to join into the Christmas spirit, but he rejects the attempts. After being accused of a being a Scrooge, Fred falls asleep and dreams up "A Christmas Carol." Now it is up to the spirits to take on the challenge that his friends failed at.

After getting in an accident with the truck, Fred thinks that he might have whiplash and Fred's friend Bubba convinces him that he can make big money off of the situation. Lamont is against the whole idea but Fred insists on going through with a lawsuit, but first Fred must identify the person the hit him.

Fred's cousin arrives with his new wife and his not-so-attractive stepdaughter, Betty Jean. When Fred finds out that she will inherit $10,000 if she marries, he tries to fix it so that Lamont will marry her. However, Fred's plan backfires when Lamont catches on to his scheme.

Lamont pays $50 for an antique gun and brings it home to show Fred. Fred begins re-enacting war stories and accidentally pulls the trigger not knowing it's loaded. The blast shoots through the next door neighbor's window, who suddenly drops from site just after having a heated argument with Fred. Fred jumps to the conclusion that he killed him.

One evening, Lamont and his friend Rollo go out. When they return they interrupt a robber trying to flee from the scene. Later they discover the crook dropped his gun and in an attempt to get some quick cash, decide to pawn it. However, once at the pawn shop, the broker mistakes Fred wanting money for the gun for a stickup.

Lamont is fed up working with Fred and quits the partnership. He soon finds a job down the street at a rival junk collector's business. Meanwhile, Fred looks for another partner and finds one in Norman, whose first contribution is a stuffed bear.