CORPORATE COPS: Michael uses some of the techniques that have proven successful in the war against street crime to combat corporate wrongdoing. REPLACEMENT MIKE: Michael Moore is so tired of constantly going into corporate lobbies and being thrown out that he auditions a series of "replacements" for his job-an attack dog who speaks with Mike's voice, a dozen red beret wearing five year olds, three Victoria's Secret models, and two Cuban Grandmothers. Their target: Tosco-an oil refinery corporation with a dismal safety record. WHEN IN NEW YORK CITY: Correspondent Karen Duffy picks up a busload of actual tourists in Times Square and take them on a tour of New York that their travel agents haven't told them about-The 70th Precinct where Abner Louima was tourtured, an overcrowded classroom, an actual working sweatshop

SADDAM GAS: Gas prices in America are going to hit an all time high this summer. Michael looks at how far Americans will go to get cheap gas. He opens up Saddam Gas, gas for 50 cents a gallon, all the proceeds going to support Saddam Hussein. He also indicts the UN's oil for food program by offering gas for free to anyone who donates canned goods for Iraqis starving because of the US bombing. (Which continues today) GULF WAR SYNDROME FUN RUN: The US government denies the existence of Gulf War Syndrome, the disease that's affected thousands of Gulf War veterans since 1990. Michael goes to the Pentagon and stages a fun run of veterans with the disease for the benefit of a Defense Department representative.

CLINTON NEEDS A JOB IN 2001, WE GET HIM ONE OF THE 20,000,000: Bill Clinton will be out of a job next year. We try to get him one of the 20 million jobs he's claimed to have "created". Part time, no benefits, low pay - a cherished spot in America's "new economy". THE TERRORISTS HAVE WON: There are huge swaths of the United States in which women can not exercise their right to choose an abortion because the right to life groups have scared all of the doctors who will perform that procedure out of the county/state/city/etc. It's the first time in the history of the Republic that terrorist tactics have worked to force a change (in fact, if not in law) in public policy. Michael goes to the Pro-life groups and surrenders the pro-choice movement, then "celebrates" the pro-life victory with a victory ticker tape parade. SUSSEX COUNTY, VA: One of the 10 fastest growing communities in the country, according to the US Census Bureau. But people aren't moving to Sussex County, prisoners are. The County's growth can almost entirely be attributed to two huge new prisons that have been constructed there in the past 10 years. Karen Duffy goes to Sussex County to investigate the future of American Population Growth.

PUT THE HOMELESS IN STORAGE: Correspondent Karen Duffy looks at a trend that's becoming increasingly common in America-homeless men and women living in storage lockers. POST THIS FROM THE BIBLE: Congress recently passed a bill that mandated that schools post the 10 Commandments in classrooms. Michael goes to congress and posts appropriate bible quotes ("It's easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to get into heaven") in the offices of the bills supporters. ARE YOU A VICTIM OF GW BUSH AFFIRMATIVE ACTION: Presidential frontrunner George W. Bush is not only firmly against affirmative action, he's a sub par student who turned his mediocre grades into a slot at both Yale and Harvard business school. Michael looks for people with better grades who were denied a spot at these schools because George W. is the heir to an American political dynasty.

NO TRIALS NECESSARY: Moore goes to Nevada County in California to convince people to give up their rights to go to jail. NO INTELLIGENCE NECESSARY: Correspondent Jay Martel tries to reason why a person was denied of being a cop after passing the entrance test with a high-IQ.

IMMORAL MAJORITY: After Mayor Giuliani passed a law that 60% of items must be non-porn in a pornographic store, Michael Moore sets up a store to test the law. SENIORS STRIKE BACK: Correspondent Karen Duffy teaches seniors how to defend themselves.

WHITEY CAN'T RIDE: Michael Moore decides to only pick up African-Americans when he is a taxi driver for one day. LOW HEELS FOR HO HEELS: Correspondent Tariq "K-Flex" Nasheed goes to Washington D.C. to talk to Congressmen about accepting lobbyist money. MALE APARTHEID: Moore decides to compare the apartheids between America and South Africa.

Hail Turdonia: Since Ted Turner is America's largest private landowner, he should have his own country, complete with flag and national anthem. Teen Sniper School: A parody ad for a summer camp, featuring sniper training for children. (Unaired) Hitler Makes a Withdrawal: Swiss banks accepted billions of dollars worth of items stolen by the Nazis from victims of the Holocaust at the end of WWII but refused to return it to survivors and family members. The Awful Truth sends "Adolf Hitler" to Switzerland to get the money back.

GOT IT MAID!: Moore shows Ken Starr how to perform a cost-effective witch hunt. HMO FUNERAL: Immigrant maids working for a Holiday Inn Express in Minneapolis, MN organized a union. But before contract negotiations had begun, Holiday Inn called the INS and tried to have them deported. BMW (BREAK MY WINDOWS): Sal Piro, the "Awful Truth" Bill Collector goes to BMW's US offices to confront executives with a former slave laborer who worked in BMW's German factories during World War II. The issue: BMW failed to compensate slave laborers that worked in its factories during the war.

CORPORATE COPS: Mike sets up a "neighborhood watch" around C. R. Bard Pharmaceuticals in Murray Hill, NJ. Three of Bard's executives were found guilty of manufacturing defective heart valves that resulted in several deaths, and all have evaded jail. MOLSON LOSES ITS HEAD: Correspondent Ben Hamper investigates the cultural differences between Barrie, Ontario (where Molson Brewing closed a brewery and moved jobs to Toronto) and Toronto, as this was the reason given why Molson refused to relocate its workers to Toronto.

NAFTA Mike: NAFTA sent your job to Mexico. Mike goes south to find it. Strikebreakers: Expert strikebreakers decide to unionize. The Merger: Chrysler merges with Daimler-Benz. Mike throws them a wedding.

Work Care!: Under a system called WorkCare, people who can't pay their hospital bills can do jobs around the hospital. Across the street, Moore decides to start a pilot program of his own. LucyCam: Lucianne Goldberg has no problem violating the President's privacy, so Moore decides to violate hers. He sets up a webcam across the street to film her apartment 24 hours a day. Air-Drop TVs on Afghanistan: The Taliban banned TVs. so Moore air-drops some for the citizens.

Weapons Inspectors: The US is inspecting Iraq's weapons, so Moore gets some Arabs to inspect ours. The "Make a Wish Foundation": The Make a Wish foundation was forced to let a child shoot a bear. What won't they allow? We Find Hillary a Date: Hillary needs a date. Mike tries to find the right man.

Crackers vs. Mickey Mouse: Crackers goes to Disney World to meet Mickey Mouse and talk about Disney's treatment of its employees. His reward? Getting thrown in Disney jail. The Voice-Box Choir: Mike brings Christmas carolers to entertain tobacco company executives and lobbyists. The twist: all of the carolers lost their voice boxes due to smoking.

Crackers vs. The Egg Farm: Crackers, the Corporate Crime Fighting Chicken goes to see how his fellow chickens live. The Michael Moore Playset: Now the whole family can pretend to be Michael Moore. American Apartheid: America has learned how to keep the appearance of racial harmony, while keeping blacks far, far, away. Bill Gates' Housewarming: Bill Gates just moved into his new home. Mike gets him a housewarming gift.

Beat the Rich: Wealthy and working-class people are asked about common things. Questions asked include: the price for Dom Perignon, price of one share of IBM stock, and ingredients needed to make a Macaroni and Cheese dish. The Sodomobile: A hot pink Winnebago full of gay men and women travels thru states with anti-sodomy laws on the books. Fred Phelps, whose Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, KS is infamous for picketing funerals of gays and their supporters, makes an appearance.

Sal, The Bill Collector: UPS fails to keep a promise they made to their union. Time to send in Sal, the Awful Truth's bill collector. Interlude: "Thomas Jefferson" protests the impeachment hearings. "I had an affair, big deal," he says. Duck and Cover: India and Pakistan start an arms race. But do their citizens know how to duck and cover?

The Awful Truth Man of the Year: Ira Rennert has the distinction of being one of the largest polluters in the country, as well as owning one of the largest houses on Long Island, with over 30 bathrooms. Moore tracks him down to give him his award. TV Pundits?: Which has more favorable audience response: George Will or (a) a jackhammer, (b) scraping fingernails on a blackboard, or (c) a guy chewing aluminum foil? 150 Feet from NBC: Michael receives a restraining order courtesy of Mr. Rennert, to keep him from the Rockefeller Center area (where Rennert's company, Renco, has its offices). Unfortunately, it also means he can't get to NBC Studios, where he's due to tape a segment of "Late Night With Conan O'Brien".

Cohen is a Wimp: William Cohen's Secretary of Defense seems like he's sort of a wimp. To compensate, he bombs medicine factories and embassies. LucyCam #2: Mike recaps the LucyCam story. Mind That Memo: Manpower, Inc. sent a memo to each of their offices to ask them not to allow him in. Moore tests to see how many read it.

DON'T SHOOT, IT'S ONLY A WALLET: In response to NYPD officers shooting African-Americans because they thought their wallets were a gun, Moore creates an "African American Wallet Exchange". SIBLING RIVALRY: Correspondent Jay Martel goes to Florida to witness an execution in Florida. He investigates the fast-growing executions in states of Texas and Florida governed by Bush brothers, George and Jeb.

Montana Shacks: Michael Moore visits Montana, a state known for it's beauty as well as being the home of The Unabomber. Joe Camel Needs a Job: The famous spokescamel visits the New York Career and Job Center, looking for work. LucyCam #3: In the third week of this segment Michael calls Lucy. He then reveals to her that he's filming her.

PRESIDENTIAL MOSH: The first presidential candidate to jump in "The Awful Truth" mosh pit wins the endorsement of the show. GUN CRAZY: Correspondent Jay Martel introduces Pistol Pete, a purple pistol who teaches kids about the way handguns are used in 2000. (NOTE: This segment can be considered the genesis to Moore's 2002 movie ""Bowling For Columbine".)

A Cheaper Way To Conduct A Witch Hunt: Moore shows Ken Starr how to perform a cost-effective witch hunt. HMO Funeral: A funeral is staged outside of an HMO's corporate headquarters. The (soon to be) deceased? A policyholder who was refused a lifesaving transplant by the HMO.

ELECT THIS POTTED PLANT: We follow "The Awful Truth" candidate for House of Representatives in the State of New Jersey, a ficus tree. We go through the fundraising and stumping process with our candidate. Michael serves as campaign manager for the one candidate who will never vote for pro-life issues, never fire a gun, never take dirty money.