You’re invited to the 70th Annual Herogasm! You must present this invitation in order to be admitted! Same rules as always: no cameras, no non-Supe guests unless they sign an NDA and they’re DTF, and no telling any news media! It’s BYOD, but food, alcohol and lube will be provided! And please remember to RSVP so we can get an accurate headcount for the caterer!

Tonight, streaming live exclusively for Supeporn.com Super-Subscribers, it’s the #ClashOfTheDildos! Which of The Seven-inspired dildos will crush the competition in this tip-to-tip challenge? Will it be the reigning champion Homelander Star-Spangled Banger or Starlight’s electrified Star-Brator? Join us as we put these pleasure-pounding penetrators through their paces! Only on Supeporn.com!

Homelander. America’s greatest Superhero. Defending our shores from sea to shining sea. Today, America honors him on his birthday. And the Vought Shopping Network is celebrating by offering the exclusive Homelander Limited Birthday Edition Gold Coin for only $99.95 (plus tax and shipping) while supplies last. Vought Gold Commemorative Coins: An investment that lasts a lifetime.

Tonight at 9/8C on Vought Plus, it’s the season finale of #AmericanHero! Three contestants remain, but only TWO will join #TheSeven! Will Starlight choose her old flame Supersonic? Or will someone else be moving into the Seven Tower? Tune in tonight for the SHOCKING final episode, brought to you by Lean Lady Frozen Dinners by Vought: Where slim tastes super!

Did someone say birthday? Come celebrate at Buster Beaver’s with our new Deluxe VIP Birthday Package, with seating for up to 30 guests, ten large two-topping pizzas, and ten pitchers of your choice of soda! And of course, a special birthday play starring Buster Beaver and his cast of furry forest friends! All for only $199.99 + tax! Buster Beaver’s Pizza! Where Kids Make the Rules®!

You and a guest are invited to the premiere of DAWN OF THE SEVEN this Tuesday at 7PM in Vought Tower’s Lamplighter Memorial Theater! Screening will be followed by a Q&A with director Adam Bourke and an after-party with Supe DJ Malchemical on the turntables! Join us for the greatest true origin story ever told about America’s number one Superhero team and see how the legend began!

Did you know chimpanzees are an endangered species largely because of human activity? But you can help by supporting construction costs for Crimson Countess’s Chimp Country! This beautiful refuge for chimpanzees will feature a banana plantation, four daily stunt shows, and a petting zoo! And when you donate, you’ll be entered to win a private video chat with Crimson Countess! Donate today!

Calling all patriots! Let’s show Homelander we’ve got his back and we’re not going to let Starlight and her Starlight House of Horrors get away with trafficking children and drinking their adrenaline! It’s time for real Americans to fight back! Join the Hometeamers and Stormchasers tomorrow at Vought Square! Stand back and stand by!