A security service driver for a British bank meets and falls in love over the radio with a woman stranded on a bird watching expedition in the South Atlantic. When he is tricked into thinking the Falklands are under attack by an enemy army, he takes drastic measures to finance a rescue mission to save his new girlfriend.

Having robbed a bank and hijacked a plane to travel to the South Atlantic to protect Frances, the woman he loves, Stan finds himself at the mercy of Argentinian soldiers plotting to recapture the Falkland Islands.

Charles Bronson (Robbie Coltrane) stars in a big-budget Hollywood film as Ken Livingstone, a man of the people and elected leader of the GLC. After successfully preventing the Tories from flooding South London to turn it into a yacht club, Livingstone makes it his one-man mission to stop ""The Ice Maiden"" Margaret Thatcher from beheading the Prince of Wales and taking over the kingdom.

Hannah is a street-wise American woman with a passion for Lord Byron's poetry who is prepared to do anything it takes to get into a course at Oxford, and she means anything. Also eager to study Byron is Caroline, the quiet-natured girlfriend of narcissistic mega-star comedian Steve ""Zoo Zoo Zoo Off Come My Pants"" Wild. When he disapproves of her aspirations, Caroline must go behind her boyfriend's back to take the course, unaware that she's not the only one doing the deceiving.

Bank chairman Aldo Vini, who is suspected of embezzling $200 million from his bank in Rome, is pursued across Europe by incompetent assassins.

A wedding between feuding upper-class families turns into an all-out war zone. In the midst of the chaos and bloodshed, the wedding photographer becomes enraptured by the bride's beatific beauty, and the story drifts into the surreal realm of his imagination, where the lines between fantasy, dream, and reality become hopelessly blurred.