Sketches/Songs: "A Gypsy's Violin", "When", "Down Memory Lane", Masseur sketch, "It's Not Easy Bein' Green", "Muppet Labs", "Cigarettes & Whiskey"

Sketches/Songs: "Aquarius," "Lunchtime," "Cheek to Cheek," "Jogging," "Swedish Chef," "The Flying Zucchini Brothers," "The Municipal Vermin Abatement Code," "Inchworm"

Sketches/Songs: ""Hawaiian War Chant"", ""Let's Call the Whole Thing Off"", ""Lady Be Good"", ""The William Tell Overture"", ""Veterinarian's Hospital"", Fozzie's Act, ""Bird in a Gilded Cage""

Statler and Waldorf get their chance to do a better show than Kermit--they play host, while Kermit and Fozzie heckle from the balcony. Unfortunately, Statler and Waldorf's acts don't turn out exactly as they plan. The Berlin National Opera Company cancels and are replaced by the Salzburg Sauerkraut Singers. Hal's Fourth of July number is invaded by Gonzo on a sleigh singing Christmas songs. Finally, Statler and Waldorf admit that the show is harder to put together than it looks and happily go back to complaining from the balcony.

Muppy, the favorite pet of The Muppet Theatre owner J. P. Grosse, becomes a prima donna when Kermit reluctantly allows him to do a musical number with Scooter. Muppy even gets his own dressing room and star billing, but Kermit draws the line when the dog asks to change the show's title to The Muppy Show. When Muppy locks himself in his dressing room and refuses to perform, Scooter does the number with Fozzie instead.

Sketches/Songs: ""Blue Skies"", ""Skyball Paint"", ""Muppet Sports"", ""Deep in the Heart of Texas"", ""A Four Legged Friend"", ""Bear on Patrol"", Cowboy and Skyball sketch, ""Medley""

Sketches/Songs: "Cuento Le Gusta", "Train Back Home", "Chattanooga Choo Choo", "Veterinarian's Hospital", "Wotcher (Knocked 'Em in the Old Kent Road)", "I Won't Dance", "World's Most Powerful Explosive", "Medley"

Sketches/Songs: ""Octopus's Garden"", ""The Medium"", ""Eight Little Notes"", ""Swedish Chef"", ""Catch a Falling Star"", ""Veterinarian's Hospital"", ""Short People""

Kermit calls the Secret Service to hire real spies for Roger's closing number. (They're listed in the Yellow Pages.) However, Roger wants to do a cute, cuddly version of "Talk to the Animals". The spies, anxious for a chance to rub out James Bond, pose as fluffy animals to infiltrate the number.

Beaker tests Muppet Labs' new copier machine, ultimately falling into it and making seven copies of himself. The multiple Beakers gang up on Bunsen, and the doctor is forced to wear a disguise and hide from his assistants.

Scooter's uncle sends a mechanical, wind-up TV show host, an exact duplicate of Kermit. The robot harasses Kermit and flirts with Miss Piggy.

Miss Piggy hires Scooter to pay off the audience to go wild for her. She also has him send her dozens of bouquets and write her piles of fan mail, all part of an attempt to get Kermit to notice her more. Piggy and Scooter stage a conversation for Kermit to overhear, in which she pretends to have an offer from another show, but Kermit isn't fooled. After finding out from Scooter what's really going on, he tells Piggy he's heard about her offer and has decided to let her go. When she breaks down in tears, sobbing that she can't leave him, Kermit agrees to take her back, but at a lower salary. After all, if she can afford to have Scooter pay off the audience for her... Miss Piggy gets hysterical and depressed, but is refreshed by Dom DeLuise.

Kermit borrows fifty million dollars worth of gold for Shirley's closing number, "Goldfinger". Security guard Bruno is suspicious that Kermit wants to steal the gold, but keeping an eye on the frog makes him overlook a band of pig thieves, who steal all the gold as Shirley sings.

Fozzie Bear is so intimidated by the thought of meeting Milton Berle, "the King of Comics," that he spends the whole show hiding from the guest star. His flimsy disguises don't fool Kermit or Scooter, but when Fozzie finally overhears Milton saying that he'd like to do a song-and-dance with him, Fozzie springs out of hiding, and the pair performs "Top Banana" together in baggy pants and big shoes.

Robin wants his own spot on the show, but his uncle Kermit doesn't even notice him with bigger costars like Thog, Sweetums, and Timmy stomping around. The little frog even tries to run away but just ends up locked in his own suitcase. When Bernadette Peters notices him and tries to cheer him up, however, Robin finds out that all the Muppets believe in him. He becomes so confident that he demands to sing "They Call the Wind Maria," but Kermit settles on a cute, little song called "I'm Five" instead.

Fozzie Bear has a new rollerskating act, but since he doesn't know how to skate, he spends the entire episode careening around backstage. He eventually manages to roll out onto the stage to tell his jokes, but when he gets too ambitious and tries to skate backwards on one leg, he falls off the stage.

Sketches/Songs: The Electric Mayhem, A Wagner opera performed, "Swine Lake", "Something's Missing", "Veterinarian's Hospital", "It's Cold Outside", "Clair De Lune", "Top Hat"

Kermit is plagued by a night of backstage crises. A group of skiers get hurt during the opening number, and after Kermit says that the theater will cover their medical costs, Scooter forgets to cash the check. The Teeterini Family are angry that their teeter board won't fit on the stage. The Swedish Chef prepares spring chicken, and the bouncing chicken drives Kermit crazy. And let's not even talk about the blindfolded, hang-gliding yodelers.

Rizzo and the other rats bother Kermit for a spot on the show, so Kermit asks Beauregard to "take care of them." Of course, Bo takes that literally, and treats them as guests. The rats make Beau their president, and manipulate him into giving them food. The rats eventually become so bold that they decide to take over the show. Kermit says Beau has to kick them out, or he goes with them. Beau chooses to stick with his new rat friends, until Miss Piggy enlightens him.

Robin's Frog Scout troop visits the show, getting in everyone's way backstage. They ask Debbie for help earning their punk merit badges, and she teaches them how to do the pogo. When Gonzo cancels his act, the Frog Scouts get their chance to do a performance of close-order drills.

A messenger brings a message from the scheduled guest star -- Benny Brillstein, the Yiddish yodeler. Benny refuses to be on the show, so Kermit asks Chris, the messenger boy, to be the guest. Chris knows a joke, so Kermit introduces him as a comedian.

Kermit cancels the show in order to audition new acts. Guest star Steve is angry at first, but he goes on to perform for the cast. Fozzie worries that Kermit plans to hire replacements, especially after the audition of a canine comedian, Baskerville the Hound. Kermit tells Fozzie that he should appreciate seeing another artist's work -- until Lenny the Lizard auditions as a new emcee. A young singing girl, called Mary/Terry/Carrie Louise, is systematically removed off, when she makes an attempt of audition with her croaking partner.

Gene is under the impression that he's a "guest" -- that is, he's going to sit and watch, but not perform onstage. Frantic, Kermit tricks him into performing by asking him to give him a dance lesson on-stage. Kermit plans a surprise closing number, "Singin' in the Rain," Gene refuses, saying that he doesn't think he'll ever sing the song as good as he did in the movie, but he does eventually sing it backstage. Meanwhile, Scooter uses his Tarot cards to predict that the world is coming to an end. Beauregard believes him, and tries to convince the rest of the cast the apocalypse is near.

Sketches/Songs: ""True Love"", ""South Rampart Street Parade"", ""Pigs In Space"", ""There's a New Sound"", ""I Enjoy Being a Girl"", Gonzo's Act, ""Sunshine on my Shoulder""

Sketches/Songs: ""Never on Sunday"", ""Swedish Chef"", ""Veterinarian's Hospital"", ""Muppet Newsflash"", ""She Wants to Sing in Opera"", ""Liberace bird concert""