Mary prepares the family for Billy's return from 'two years away at sea', Joe gets a little carried away while talking about his granddaughter, and Tony impresses his mother when he visits from college in Southampton.

Raymond complains about too much scouse and not having a television, Billy gets carried away at the pub after opening his first pay packet, and Mary's far from pleased when the drunken layabout stays out all night.

Tony announces that he's involved with a woman older than his mother, Bernadette tells her mam and dad that she might be a bit pregnant, and Raymond decides that he wants to be a priest after apologising to nuns.

Raymond gets into trouble when he's caught hiding a girl in the lavatory, Billy gets the wrong idea when Bernadette takes a man into the parlour, and Tony makes it a busy night when he brings a girl home from a party.

Maggie's upset when she discovers that her house is being redeveloped, Billy decides to play matchmaker after accidentally offering to help, and Raymond explains how he's earning at the Cathedral of Christ the King.

News that Bernadette's been courting leads to some awkward questions, Billy wonders when his two year unlucky streak will come to an end, and Mary reveals that she's worried about being forced back to nappy duties.

Billy gets himself chucked out of a local reserve game for hooliganism, Raymond winds his dad up by telling him that Tommy Smith is in the lav, and the family try to work out how to pass on news of a lost derby ticket.