The gang are desperately short of cash, forcing Neil to get a job. The army turn him down but he gets on surprisingly well being a police officer instead. Meanwhile, Vyvyan announces he's pregnant.

It's an ordinary evening: Neil's having a bath, Rick's reading Cosmopolitan, and Mike and Vyvyan are trying to watch video nasties. But before the night is over, the gang will have to bury a vampire.

Neil gets kidnapped by a medieval knight, while Rick believes he's finally managed to seduce a woman.

A bout of illness puts a strain on Vyvyan's usual easygoing approach to communal living. The somewhat delicate matter of Rick's lost virginity raises further consternation.

Summer term at college has ended, but Mike didn't know it had even started, and the boys have all summer to laze around. But Mr Bolowski evicts them, and they decide to rob a bank.

Depressed hippie Neil has plans on killing himself while Rick, Mike and Vyvyan go on ignoring him. The council plans on demolishing the house but have to beat Vyvyan who is using his body to destroy the house from the inside.

The boys move into their new house while Vyvyan locates oil in the basement. Mike sees this as an opportunity to rule the house like a dictatorship with Vyvyan against Rick and Neil.

Oblivious to terrorists, dancing vegetables, and card-playing mice, the gang are feeling incredibly bored, so they decide to go to the pub.

The guys may starve to death while monumental rain threatens to run them out.

The students wonder what to do when an unexploded bomb lands in their house. Mike sees an opportunity to make money, Rick wants to use it as a blackmail tool and Vyvyan tries to detonate it, but Neil's just worried about surviving the inevitable blast.

The boys decide to throw a party, but before long it descends into chaos. A preachy Christian turns up, Rick gets annoyed when their guests arrive early, Cinderella appears, and Vyvyan tries to impress some girls.

The reprobates from Scumbag College test their mental dexterity against Footlights College on a TV quiz show - but not before Vyvyan loses his head.