Recently sacked from his role as resident psychiatrist on Celebrity Jungle Jam, Ted is broke – more broke than his wife Sandra realises – and he needs money fast. He invites a group of old uni friends to a remote country hall for the weekend. They think it's an all expenses paid trip to a luxury hotel. The reality is that he has brought them together with the intention of conducting a nefarious social experiment.

Wendy and Damien Midwich have recently moved from the city to the sleepy village of Culkin, where they hope to raise children. However, after many attempts, the doctor confirms that they are unlikely to ever conceive. The couple are in despair until they meet local witch Rosemary Reagan, who recommends various bizarre devices that she guarantees will give them the child they so desire.

Harry Nagra learns that he has an incurable disease. Having nursed his parents, he decides he'd sooner go quickly. The trouble is he can't commit suicide – his life insurance is invalid if there's any suspicion that it was self-induced. He decides to solve the problem by finding someone to murder him and approaches a company called Anything Goes, whose motto is "You name it, we'll do it. No exceptions."

Aspiring Hollywood producer Jessie Vasquez's weakness for trashy, obscure flicks brings her to the door of legendary horror filmmaker Kurt Kindel. His move from the relatively conventional to the increasingly strange was accompanied by a startling and unexplained improvement in the gruesome special effects on screen. However, Jessie is here for one film and one film alone — The Magister, infamous among horror geeks as the most terrifying film ever made. When first screened, people died of fear. Kindel withdrew and ordered all negatives destroyed. Jessie plans to use all her cunning wiles to convince him to complete it – thus making his big comeback and, of course, her name.

Video game designer Doc purchases a copy of the Necronomicon to seek an occult revenge against the business partners who are plotting against him.

Charlie is being visited by the ghost of his late partner Sam, who is now threatening Charlie's new boyfriend Iggy.

Travelling sales trainer Alex Wright seems to have everything he wants – that is, until a cryptic text message causes events to spin out of control.

Rick and Jane are having work done on their new home when Rick accidentally kills one of the crew and discovers how hard it is to get rid of a body.

Comatose after an attempt on her life, Kelly goes to a limbo full of filing cabinets to wait while her fate is decided-and to try to figure out what happened to her.

Geeky but unimaginative IT worker Darren inherits and revives a 200-year-old brain in a jar. The mind of Dr Heinrich Hunsecker learns quickly, helps Darren with girlfriend Emma, and plots to take over the world. Emma, soon discovers that Darren now shares that ambition.

On his way to a big deal, Joey ends up in a strange city broke so he checks into a lodging house full of eccentric people, a circus atmosphere, and grim nightmares, while wondering about the dark fate of the previous tenant.

Baking competitors Margery Faversham and Penny Marchant strive to win the Women's Institute District Best Homemade Fruitcake competition. As Margery sets about preparing her best recipe, she's so obsessed it hardly registers when she catches her husband in bed with their housekeeper. Then comes the shocking news that Penny has died in a car crash. Was this Margery's fault for wishing such a thing? Soon enough, guilt gives way to glee with the realisation that her biggest rival is gone... until eight-time champion Bunty Crow moves into the neighbourhood.

Bucket of Pus transitions from bleak death metal to upbeat life metal band. It's a big hit... until the members start dying mysteriously.

Trashy horror writer Ray and his moocher buddy Colin live contented mundane lives sure in the knowledge that everyone is an idiot except them. Nothing could possibly ever surprise them and that's as it should be.