When the Olympia Theatre Company comes to town, Ammonia sends Lurcio to the theatre with a note for one of the actors, who's one of her old flames. At the same time Ludicrus wants Lurcio to deliver a note to one of the actresses.

Ludicrus' uncle dies and leaves him 10,000 drachma. The only snag is that the money will only be paid to Ludicrus if he has a son named after his uncle.

Lurcio becomes involved in attempts to prevent Pompeii from going to war with the Barbarians. One of h anti-war activities involves trying to persuade the women of Pompeii to deny conjugal rights if their husbands get involved in the war.

Ammonia is expecting an unwelcome visit from an old flame. She tells Lurcio to get rid of him using a poisonous asp. When a man arrives at the front door, Lurcio disposes of him, as instructed. Then Ludicrus announces that he's expecting a visit from Stovus Primus...

An army has to be raised to go to Britain to put down revolting natives. Lurcio is forced to go along, though he'd prefer not to.

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The annual ceremony of the Vestal Virgins is about to be held. The compere hasn't turned up, so Ludicrus has to 'do the homours', aided by Lurcio. Ludicrous is promoting a bill in the Senate to close down the local brothels. This brings him into conflict with the brothel keepers, who plot to ruin the Vestal Virgins ceremony.

Nausius is in love with a beautiful young girl named Nymphia. He wants to marry her, but his parents aren't sure that this is a good idea.

Spartacus is the leader of a growing revolt among the slaves of Rome. Lurcio doesn't want to get involved in anything as dangerous as a revolt, but there's no way he can prevent it from affecting him.

Lurcio is given the night off when everyone goes out. Ammonia, Ludicrus and Erotica each give him money so that he'll be out of the house for the evening. Lurcio, however, has other ideas. He's expecting a visit from new neighbour, Lusha. He uses the money to buy a love potion and looks forward to a night of pleasure. Everything goes according to plan ... until the various members of the family sneak back home, expecting the house to be empty.

Lurcio is looking after the house while the family are away. He agrees to hide two escaped slaves. Then various members of the family return home unexpectedly.

The secret plans for a new catapult have been stolen. Lurcio becomes involved in attempts to recover the stolen plans and meets the famous secret agent, James Bondus.

Ludicrus becomes involved in a plan to assassinate Julius Caesar. Ammonia gives Lurcio the job of foiling the plot. Lurcio is arrested and taken to Caesar's lieutenant, Ponderous. He's forced to impersonate Caesar in an attempt to catch the plotters.

Ludicrus loses his seat on the Senate. He decides to sell up and move his family to Rome. Lurcio is up for sale to the highest bidder. He's worried about the kind of master or mistress he'll have next.