The Best Episodes of You Can't Do That on Television

You Can't Do That on Television cannot be seen at this time because…we couldn't do it. In its place, we present a show about television. Christine explains what goes on behind the scenes of a TV show. Along the way she gets every possible kind of slime dumped on her (and Vanessa).

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Kermit the Frog Tries to Cross the Highway will not be seen at this time so that we may present... The cast looks at all of the pets people have, some normal, some very strange.

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J.R. Ewing Saves His Money to Buy a Skateboard will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Alasdair and Adam compete over the new girl in the cast, while at the same time trying to save money for a car.

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Mister Rogers' Neighborhood will not be seen because the neighborhood has been declared unsafe. Ross forces the cast to follow new rules that the Union has made for child actors. Lisa is forced to eat a mud pie and loses her voice.

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The Price is Right Raises their Prices will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Things around the set begin to malfunction. The risers collapse and the set begins to collapse. In the end, the entire studio collapses.

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Hit and Run on Sesame Street will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Despite her constant attempts to explain safety rules, bad things keep happening to Christine including electric shock and decapitation.

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Mr. Rogers, Neighborhood Pusher will not be seen at this time so that we may present... The cast uses pies as a substitute for pot to demonstrate the perils of drug use.

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Mr. Rogers Vandalizes the Neighborhood will not be seen at this time so that we may present... The entire set is stolen piece by piece, including the microphones and Christine's clothes.

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Sixty Minutes will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Lisa and Rodney keep trying to get Kevin to moon the cameras, but Christine stops them.

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Fred Sanford: World's Best Dressed Man will not be seen at this time so that we may present... The cast attempts to keep up with the latest fashions, which change about every two minutes.

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Howard Cosell Loses His Voice will not be seen because…nobody could be that lucky. Christine and Lisa host the show like sports commentators. Throughout the program, Christine tries a really bad Howard Cosell accent.

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The Dukes of Hazard Line Up for Gas will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Ross spends most of the show making Christine's life miserable by making her do many strange things like jump from an airplane without a parachute, forcing her to be shot, makes her sick by distorting the broadcast, has her stuffed into a trash can, and even has her mummified.

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The Dukes of Hazard Dress Up in Drag will not be seen at this time so that we may present... The rest of the cast is upset that Christine, as host, has an easier job. They trade places with her and all co-host the show, while she takes their positions in the sketches. In the end, she ends up on a quest to get Brodie slimed.

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Conan the Librarian will not be seen at this time so that we may present... The cast takes a look at their favorite super-heroes. Lisa attempts to be Wonder Woman, but isn't very effective.

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The Muppets Get Suffed will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Christine's dad makes her do work while hosting the show, so she keeps shovels a wheelbarrow full of dirt onto the set.

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Captain Kangaroo Robs a Bank will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Christine goes on strike demanding a raise. She eventually gets it, but discovers that she won't get paid for the time she was on strike, even though she was still on the show.

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Atomic Blast Levels Fantasy Island will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Jami admits that the only reason the Indians smoked was to kill the white settlers. He then tries to convince Christine to smoke.

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Jaws Eats Jacques Cousteau will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Christine hosts this episode from her bathtub at home. During the show she gets surprise visits from the cast and crew. The episode ends with her getting sucked down the drain.

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The Incredible Hulk Runs out of Deodorant will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Christine brings in a box of cosmetics and explains the use of each one. She offers advise about the dangers of using corn chip flavored lipstick.

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The Most Popular Kids Show on Television will not be seen at this time so that we may present… Ross holds a ""phone-in"" contest to see which cast member is the most popular. All the kids wear numbers so that viewers can clarify their voting. At the halfway point, Kevin (wearing 111) is first. In an attempt to get more votes, Christine trades her ballot number (872) for a lower number (0). In the end, Zilch (Darryl) wins the contest even though he wasn't in this episode. They discover he won because Christine wore his number zero.

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The Love Boat Runs Aground Fantasy Island will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Christine goes on a trip to the beach to relax, only to run into the entire cast and crew of YCDTOTV, who are filming an episode.

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Miss Piggy Eats Ham Sandwiches will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Christine explains the importance of a healthy diet, but ends up wearing more of the food then she eats.

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Real People will not be seen at this time because we couldn't find any. In its place, we present the following unfair program. The cast complains about everything that is unfair with the world in 1982. To add insult to injury, the Unfairy Godmother stops by.

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Jaws meets the Love Boat will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Christine spends the entire show waiting for her boyfriend to call her, which he doesn't.

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The Six Million Dollar Man Rusts to Bits will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Ross tries to make money by collecting his family allowances. He also tries to adopt Christine, who is using an exercise bike and some special effects to travel around the world.

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