9.5/102 votes#1 - Episode 1
Season 3 Episode 1 - Aired 11/17/2005
At Hill Grange Health Spa, Bubbles De Vere receives a shock when she bumps into her ex-husband, Roman De Vere, and his new wife, ex-Olympic gymnast Desiree, who are honeymooning at the Spa. On the Mike McShane estate in Bruise, Dudley receives delivery of his new bride, Ting Tong Macadangdang, loving chosen from his Thai Brides For You brochure. Meanwhile, Mrs. Emery's inability to control her bodily functions in the local supermarket results in a nasty wet patch in the frozen foods section.
Director: Declan Lowney
Writer: Matt Lucas
9.3/103 votes#2 - Episode 6
Season 3 Episode 6 - Aired 12/24/2005
Dafydd has to decide whether to remain the only gay in the village, or leave to join the other gays in London. Florence has to decide whether or not to hang up her crinolines. And Carol's computer has to decide whether or not to say no to a customer hoping to go on a round-the-world cruise. Elsewhere, Marjorie learns that sorry really is the hardest word; Mrs. Emery visits her local GP complaining of knee trouble; and Linda's students are revolting. If the truth be told, she couldn't agree more..
Director: Declan Lowney
Writer: Matt Lucas
9.0/101 votes#3 - Tallest Man
Season 1 Episode 2 - Aired 9/23/2003
Daffyd is astounded to discover that someone else has bought his copy of Gay Times.
Director: Steve Bendelack
Writer: Matt Lucas
9.0/102 votes#4 - Biggest House of Cards
Season 1 Episode 5 - Aired 10/14/2003
Andy wants a snake, and unscrupulous hypnotist Kenny Craig has some videos for sale.
Director: Steve Bendelack
Writer: Matt Lucas
9.0/101 votes#5 - Largest Mince Pie
Season 1 Episode 7 - Aired 10/28/2003
Vicky Pollard tells her social worker that she has swapped her baby for a Westlife CD.
Director: Steve Bendelack
Writer: Matt Lucas
9.0/101 votes#6 - Episode 4
Season 2 Episode 4 - Aired 11/9/2004
Emily and Florence flounce off to the ballet, while Dr Lawrence takes Anne to the theater. Marjorie Dawes treats her Fat Fighters to a Scrooge-like Christmas dinner. Sebastian is shocked to hear that the Prime Minister's wife is pregnant. Lou offers to take Andy to church to do a reading - despite the fact that he wants to go dressed as the Baby Jesus, and the vicar gets an unexpected reaction when his parishioners try out his mince pies.
Director: Matt Lipsey
Writer: Matt Lucas
9.0/101 votes#7 - Episode 6
Season 2 Episode 6 - Aired 11/23/2004
Lou and Andy visit the seaside. Dafydd is back in the village after watching a rugby match. Vicky Pollard shows off her new black boyfriend. In a quiet English church, worshippers are startled to hear visiting Harlem preacher, the Reverend Jessie King urging them to get out of the ghetto. Meanwhile, Marjorie Dawes does her best to ruin a Fat Fighters' engagement party, and love-struck aide Sebastian behaves outrageously at the Prime Minister's election victory party.
Director: Matt Lipsey
Writer: Matt Lucas
9.0/103 votes#8 - Episode 2
Season 3 Episode 2 - Aired 11/24/2005
Andy tries his luck at a TV phone-in competition. Mrs. Emery visits the post office. Vicky starts her new job working on an adult chat line. Dudley catches Ting-Tong doing something unlady-like in the toilet. After another fight with bubbles, Diseree loses more than her towel. Linda assists with a course change for a female student with a slight facial hair problem. Majorie becomes jealous when her new boyfriend starts being friendly with Tanya. Daffyd introduces Myfanwy to his new... girlfriend? Mr. Mann is looking to buy a painting of a disappointed horse. Don takes Pat to an Indian restaurant, where the food has an unusual effect on him. Maggie is recovering well from a kidney transplant, until she's given the name of the doner. Sebastian serenades the PM in the Houses of PaliamentAndy decides to make a trip along the River Thames slightly more interesting.
Director: Declan Lowney
Writer: Matt Lucas
9.0/103 votes#9 - Episode 3
Season 3 Episode 3 - Aired 12/1/2005
A trip to the Hill Grange Health Spa sees Roman getting a little more than he bargained for during a facial, when Bubbles takes his beauty treatment into her own rather ample hands. Down on the Mike McShane estate, it appears that Ting Tong has yet more secrets to divulge, much to Dudley's horror and exasperation. A weakness for women in green Lycra, however, gives Ting Tong the opportunity to persuade him to let her stay - just one more night.
Director: Declan Lowney
Writer: Matt Lucas
9.0/103 votes#10 - Episode 5
Season 3 Episode 5 - Aired 12/15/2005
In Little Fumble, Sir Norman Fry has some explaining to do, following an incident with a glace cherry. Over in Sponge Bob Square Pants, Carol Beer is going through Sun Seekers in-house insurance policies. Vicky Pollard is displaying her woeful child-minding skills in her new career as a babysitter. Sid Pegg is up in arms about the defacing of the Larchwood Close street sign. And, in Mr. Mann's fancy dress shop, Mr. Mann is trying on a post-Mary Whitehouse Experience David Baddiel costume.
Director: Declan Lowney
Writer: Matt Lucas
8.7/103 votes#11 - Episode 4
Season 3 Episode 4 - Aired 12/8/2005
A new resident arrives at the Mike McShane estate - Ting Tong's mother. Needless to say, Dudley's not too happy about the newest addition to the household, particularly when he learns that she's not planning to leave any time soon. Down on Larchwood Close, Neighborhood Watch leader Sid Pegg calls an urgent meeting following the arrival of a caravan in the area and, over at the Hill Grange Health Spa, Bubbles learns the reason why Roman left her for Desiree.
Director: Declan Lowney
Writer: Matt Lucas
8.5/102 votes#12 - Hard-Boiled Egg Eating
Season 1 Episode 3 - Aired 9/30/2003
Lou and Andy visit the seaside, and there is a new member at Fat Fighters.
Director: Steve Bendelack
Writer: Matt Lucas
8.5/102 votes#13 - Smallest Ant
Season 1 Episode 6 - Aired 10/21/2003
There is good news for Dennis, and Marjorie Dawes bumps into Paul while out shopping.
Director: Steve Bendelack
Writer: Matt Lucas
8.0/102 votes#14 - Bath of Beans
Season 1 Episode 1 - Aired 9/16/2003
Vicky Pollard is in trouble with her teacher, while Emily Howard visits a pub and finds an admirer.
Director: Steve Bendelack
Writer: Matt Lucas
8.0/101 votes#15 - Most Cigarettes in a Mouth
Season 1 Episode 4 - Aired 10/7/2003
Dafydd is in denial at the hairdressers while Vicky appears in court.
Director: Steve Bendelack
Writer: Matt Lucas
8.0/101 votes#16 - Most People in a Mini
Season 1 Episode 8 - Aired 11/4/2003
Sebastian helps with an important visit from the Italian Prime Minister, and Vicky Pollard goes back to school.
Director: Steve Bendelack
Writer: Matt Lucas
8.0/101 votes#17 - Episode 1
Season 2 Episode 1 - Aired 10/19/2004
Vicky Pollard is caught hiding mix n' match candy in her pants at a supermarket. Dafydd comes out to his parents, but his mother's reaction is not quite what he expects. Emily has a new companion, a novice transvestite with a moustache. Marjorie Dawes advises one of her Fat Fighters to "waddle back to your seat". At the local spa, Bubbles offers to pay her huge bills in an inappropriate manner. Maggie and Judy's stomachs turn on learning the jam at the village fete was made by a lesbian.
Director: Matt Lipsey
Writer: Matt Lucas
8.0/101 votes#18 - Episode 2
Season 2 Episode 2 - Aired 10/26/2004
Emily and Florence visit a bridal shop to try on some very lady-like wedding dresses, Harvey demands "Bitty" in a restaurant, Bubbles De Vere singes herself while evading capture, Andy sees off Lou's new girlfriend, Sebastian meets his match in Marvin the US President's political aide, Dafydd decides to start a gay stall at the village fête, Vicky Pollard goes roller-skating in a pink string bikini, and Judy and Maggie are soon sick of Blake's 7 star Paul Darrow.
Director: Matt Lipsey
Writer: Matt Lucas
8.0/101 votes#19 - Episode 3
Season 2 Episode 3 - Aired 11/2/2004
Vicky makes a nuisance of herself on a bus, Lou takes Andy to the ice-rink, on their ladylike saunter through the park Emily and Florence encounter some boisterous boys playing football, and Dafydd goes to an audition for the Llandewi Breffi version of Hamlet. Meanwhile, Marjorie Dawes surprises everyone at Fat Fighters by being nice to the longsuffering Meera (although it's got nothing to do with Meera's lottery win, honest!).
Director: Matt Lipsey
Writer: Matt Lucas
7.0/101 votes#20 - Episode 5
Season 2 Episode 5 - Aired 11/16/2004
Vicky Pollard tries to con her way into a Blazin' Squad gig. Daffyd is disgusted when barmaid Myfanwy marries her girlfriend Rhiannon. Lou and Andy go bowling, while Emily and Florence have a go at tennis. Kenny Craig has got himself a girlfriend; Harvey gets hungry when he and his fiancée meet their wedding caterer; and Dead Ringers star John Culshaw makes a guest appearance as Andrew Lloyd Webber.
Director: Matt Lipsey
Writer: Matt Lucas
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Matt Lucas Ratings Summary
"Episode 1" is the best rated episode written by Matt Lucas. It scored 9.5/10 based on 2 votes. It was directed by Declan Lowney. It aired on 11/17/2005 and is rated 0.2 points higher than their second-best episode, "Episode 6".