7.5/104 votes#1 - Lifeguard Meg
Season 22 Episode 13 - Aired 3/27/2024
Stewie and Brian become overwhelmed after winning a coffee shop. Peter and his friends annoy Meg at her new lifeguard job when they don't follow the pool rules.
Director: Julius Wu
Writer: Patrick Meighan
7.3/1024 votes#2 - The Simpsons Guy
Season 13 Episode 1 - Aired 9/28/2014
In a special hour-long crossover with The Simpsons, the Griffins meet the Simpson family when they end up in Springfield after their car is stolen. Stewie takes lessons in pranks and skateboarding from Bart, while Lisa discovers - to her annoyance - that Meg is as good at playing the saxophone as she is. Peter bonds with Homer as they locate the missing car, but then they fight after Peter loses his job when Pawtucket Patriot is revealed to be a copy of Duff Beer.
Director: Peter Shin
Writer: Patrick Meighan
7.2/1017 votes#3 - Road to Germany
Season 7 Episode 3 - Aired 10/19/2008
Mort Goldman accidentally steps into Stewie's time machine and goes back in time to 1939 Poland, and Brian and Stewie follow to retrieve him. When they find him, the Nazis invade and Mort is taken to Germany, where Stewie and Brian must go to save him, as well as find a way back to the present.
Director: Greg Colton
Writer: Patrick Meighan
6.9/1024 votes#4 - 8 Simple Rules for Buying My Teenage Daughter
Season 4 Episode 8 - Aired 7/10/2005
Peter runs up his tab at Mort’s Pharmacy. When he doesn’t have the money to pay, he decides to sell Meg to the Goldmans. Neil is dating another girl which makes Meg jealous, and Stewie falls in love with Liddane, his new babysitter.
Director: Peter Shin
Writer: Patrick Meighan
6.9/1024 votes#5 - Peterotica
Season 4 Episode 24 - Aired 4/23/2006
After reading an erotic novel, Peter gets the idea to write one himself. Carter gets sued for publishing Peter's book on tape and loses all his money, where he is forced to become a middle-class citizen. Meanwhile, Stewie tries to train for the Olympics.
Director: Peter Shin
Writer: Patrick Meighan
6.9/1021 votes#6 - Road to Rupert
Season 5 Episode 9 - Aired 1/28/2007
Brian sells Rupert at a garage sale. Stewie, who is upset with Brian, takes him cross country to Colorado to find his beloved teddy, and ends up having a ski-off to win back Rupert. Meanwhile, Peter loses his license, so Meg has to drive him around.
Director: Peter Shin
Writer: Patrick Meighan
6.9/1017 votes#7 - 420
Season 7 Episode 12 - Aired 4/19/2009
Brian and Stewie attempt to rally Quahog to try and legalize marijuana.
Director: Julius Wu
Writer: Patrick Meighan
6.8/1020 votes#8 - Peter, Chris & Brian
Season 14 Episode 5 - Aired 11/8/2015
Peter gets a check in the mail from the sale of his mother's home and he remembers that all of his old porn is still in there. When he returns to retrieve his stash, he finds a "to Peter from Peter" tape and realizes that his life has amounted to nothing. Reeling from his own failures, Peter then attempts to fix Chris before it's too late, and forces his son to spend time with Brian.
Director: Joe Vaux
Writer: Patrick Meighan
6.6/1017 votes#9 - Thanksgiving
Season 10 Episode 6 - Aired 11/20/2011
Lois cooks a big Thanksgiving meal and invites the whole crew over for dinner, and Joe is shocked when his formerly M.I.A. son, Kevin Swanson, returns from Iraq.
Director: Jerry Langford
Writer: Patrick Meighan
6.6/1017 votes#10 - Farmer Guy
Season 11 Episode 20 - Aired 5/12/2013
Peter buys a farm and becomes a meth dealer.
Director: Mike Kim
Writer: Patrick Meighan
6.5/1017 votes#11 - Quagmire's Baby
Season 8 Episode 6 - Aired 11/15/2009
Father doesn't know best when Quagmire assumes responsibility for a baby left at his doorstep. Meanwhile, Stewie creates a stupid clone of himself that he uses as a slave. When he ends up creating a clone for Brian too, they find out that the clones are unstable, at which point the clones break down.
Director: Jerry Langford
Writer: Patrick Meighan
6.5/1010 votes#12 - Bri, Robot
Season 17 Episode 12 - Aired 2/10/2019
Brian worries about the legacy he's leaving behind, so Stewie makes a robot duplicate as a living biography.
Director: John Holmquist
Writer: Patrick Meighan
6.5/104 votes#13 - Love Story Guy
Season 21 Episode 11 - Aired 1/8/2023
The guys recount their first true love stories, leading to parodies of "Castaway," "Dirty Dancing" and various Meg Ryan rom-coms.
Director: Steve Robertson
Writer: Patrick Meighan
6.4/1013 votes#14 - German Guy
Season 9 Episode 11 - Aired 2/20/2011
Chris's search for a new hobby leads him to befriend a puppeteer named Franz, until his checkered past is revealed.
Director: Cyndi Tang
Writer: Patrick Meighan
6.4/105 votes#15 - Boston Stewie
Season 22 Episode 6 - Aired 11/19/2023
Stewie tries to civilize his half-brother, Boston Stewie, so that he may be adopted. Meanwhile, Meg and Chris start a venture in which people online pay Chris to sit on and smash cupcakes.
Director: Mike Kim
Writer: Patrick Meighan
6.3/1014 votes#16 - Excellence in Broadcasting
Season 9 Episode 2 - Aired 10/3/2010
Brian decides to confront Rush Limbaugh when he comes to Quahog for a book signing.
Director: John Holmquist
Writer: Patrick Meighan
6.3/1012 votes#17 - Veteran Guy
Season 16 Episode 14 - Aired 4/1/2018
After Peter and the guys get caught pretending to be military veterans and are found guilty of the Stolen Valor Act, a judge sentences them to join the U.S. Coast Guard.
Director: David A. Goodman
Writer: Patrick Meighan
6.2/1017 votes#18 - Tea Peter
Season 10 Episode 21 - Aired 5/13/2012
When city hall threatens to close Peter's business, he joins the Tea Party and campaigns to shut down the government.
Director: Pete Michels
Writer: Patrick Meighan
6.1/1016 votes#19 - Christmas Guy
Season 12 Episode 8 - Aired 12/15/2013
When Carter Pewterschmidt cancels the annual Quahog Christmas carnival, because he hates the holiday, Peter must transform his father-in-law from a Scrooge into a hometown hero in order to salvage the event. Meanwhile, Stewie devises a master plan to get the one and only thing he wants for Christmas.
Director: Greg Colton
Writer: Patrick Meighan
6.1/108 votes#20 - Stewie's First Word
Season 19 Episode 1 - Aired 9/27/2020
Stewie finally says his first word, and it's a swear. When Lois is shunned by the other moms, she tries to figure out where Stewie could have possibly learned it.
Director: Mike Kim
Writer: Patrick Meighan
6.0/1022 votes#21 - No Chris Left Behind
Season 5 Episode 16 - Aired 5/6/2007
After Chris is expelled from school, he is sent to a boarding school that his grandfather Carter attended, but Chris doesn't exactly fit in. Meanwhile, the chicken returns to pick a fight with Peter.
Director: Pete Michels
Writer: Patrick Meighan
5.8/105 votes#22 - 80's Guy
Season 20 Episode 4 - Aired 10/17/2021
Impelled by nostalgia, Peter recreates movie scenes from his favorite decade; Stewie and Doug compete to retrieve a Frisbee stuck at the top of the jungle gym.
Director: John Holmquist
Writer: Patrick Meighan
5.4/1012 votes#23 - Trump Guy
Season 17 Episode 11 - Aired 1/13/2019
Peter is given the position of the next White House Press Secretary and the Griffin family gets ready to make a move to Washington, D.C.
Director: Joe Vaux
Writer: Patrick Meighan
5.3/1016 votes#24 - Carter and Tricia
Season 15 Episode 8 - Aired 12/4/2016
Carter buys the Pawtucket Patriot brewery and decides to cut some corners to save a few bucks. Peter overhears the plan and runs and tells investigative journalist Tricia Takanawa about Carter's plan to use toxic chemicals in the beer cans. Meanwhile, Brian's drivers' license has expired and he enlists Stewie as an instructor.
Director: Mike Kim
Writer: Patrick Meighan
5.2/104 votes#25 - CutawayLand
Season 19 Episode 4 - Aired 11/1/2020
Peter and Lois accidentally set up a cutaway gag together, which somehow transports them into the cutaway itself.
Director: Brian Iles
Writer: Patrick Meighan
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Patrick Meighan Ratings Summary
"Lifeguard Meg" is the best rated episode written by Patrick Meighan. It scored 7.5/10 based on 4 votes. It was directed by Julius Wu. It aired on 3/27/2024 and is rated 0.2 points higher than their second-best episode, "The Simpsons Guy".