The Best Episodes Written By Patrick Meighan

Episode Rankings

1. #1 Fan Favorite
   

   7.5/10(11 votes)

   #1 - Lifeguard Meg

   S22:E133/27/2024

   Stewie and Brian become overwhelmed after winning a coffee shop. Peter and his friends annoy Meg at her new lifeguard job when they don't follow the pool rules.

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   Writer:Patrick Meighan

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   Writer:Patrick Meighan
2. 

   7.4/10(22 votes)

   #2 - Road to Germany

   S7:E310/19/2008

   Mort Goldman accidentally steps into Stewie's time machine and goes back in time to 1939 Poland, and Brian and Stewie follow to retrieve him. When they find him, the Nazis invade and Mort is taken to Germany, where Stewie and Brian must go to save him, as well as find a way back to the present.

   Director:N/A

   Writer:Patrick Meighan

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   Writer:Patrick Meighan
3. 

   7.4/10(31 votes)

   #3 - The Simpsons Guy

   S13:E19/28/2014

   In a special hour-long crossover with The Simpsons, the Griffins meet the Simpson family when they end up in Springfield after their car is stolen. Stewie takes lessons in pranks and skateboarding from Bart, while Lisa discovers - to her annoyance - that Meg is as good at playing the saxophone as she is. Peter bonds with Homer as they locate the missing car, but then they fight after Peter loses his job when Pawtucket Patriot is revealed to be a copy of Duff Beer.

   Director:N/A

   Writer:Patrick Meighan

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   Writer:Patrick Meighan
4. 

   7.2/10(24 votes)

   #4 - Road to Rupert

   S5:E91/28/2007

   Brian sells Rupert at a garage sale. Stewie, who is upset with Brian, takes him cross country to Colorado to find his beloved teddy, and ends up having a ski-off to win back Rupert. Meanwhile, Peter loses his license, so Meg has to drive him around.

   Director:N/A

   Writer:Patrick Meighan

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   Writer:Patrick Meighan
5. 

   7.1/10(19 votes)

   #5 - 420

   S7:E124/19/2009

   Brian and Stewie attempt to rally Quahog to try and legalize marijuana.

   Director:N/A

   Writer:Patrick Meighan

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   Writer:Patrick Meighan
6. 

   7.0/10(26 votes)

   #6 - Peterotica

   S4:E244/23/2006

   After reading an erotic novel, Peter gets the idea to write one himself. Carter gets sued for publishing Peter's book on tape and loses all his money, where he is forced to become a middle-class citizen. Meanwhile, Stewie tries to train for the Olympics.

   Director:N/A

   Writer:Patrick Meighan

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   Writer:Patrick Meighan
7. 

   7.0/10(26 votes)

   #7 - 8 Simple Rules for Buying My Teenage Daughter

   S4:E87/10/2005

   Peter runs up his tab at Mort’s Pharmacy. When he doesn’t have the money to pay, he decides to sell Meg to the Goldmans. Neil is dating another girl which makes Meg jealous, and Stewie falls in love with Liddane, his new babysitter.

   Director:N/A

   Writer:Patrick Meighan

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   Writer:Patrick Meighan
8. 

   7.0/10(22 votes)

   #8 - Farmer Guy

   S11:E205/12/2013

   Peter buys a farm and becomes a meth dealer.

   Director:N/A

   Writer:Patrick Meighan

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   Writer:Patrick Meighan
9. 

   6.9/10(12 votes)

   #9 - Boston Stewie

   S22:E611/19/2023

   Stewie tries to civilize his half-brother, Boston Stewie, so that he may be adopted. Meanwhile, Meg and Chris start a venture in which people online pay Chris to sit on and smash cupcakes.

   Director:N/A

   Writer:Patrick Meighan

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   Writer:Patrick Meighan
10. 

    6.8/10(24 votes)

    #10 - Peter, Chris & Brian

    S14:E511/8/2015

    Peter gets a check in the mail from the sale of his mother's home and he remembers that all of his old porn is still in there. When he returns to retrieve his stash, he finds a "to Peter from Peter" tape and realizes that his life has amounted to nothing. Reeling from his own failures, Peter then attempts to fix Chris before it's too late, and forces his son to spend time with Brian.

    Director:N/A

    Writer:Patrick Meighan

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    Writer:Patrick Meighan
11. 

    6.8/10(8 votes)

    #11 - Love Story Guy

    S21:E111/8/2023

    The guys recount their first true love stories, leading to parodies of "Castaway," "Dirty Dancing" and various Meg Ryan rom-coms.

    Director:N/A

    Writer:Patrick Meighan

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    Writer:Patrick Meighan
12. 

    6.7/10(21 votes)

    #12 - Thanksgiving

    S10:E611/20/2011

    Lois cooks a big Thanksgiving meal and invites the whole crew over for dinner, and Joe is shocked when his formerly M.I.A. son, Kevin Swanson, returns from Iraq.

    Director:N/A

    Writer:Patrick Meighan

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13. 

    6.6/10(20 votes)

    #13 - Quagmire's Baby

    S8:E611/15/2009

    Father doesn't know best when Quagmire assumes responsibility for a baby left at his doorstep. Meanwhile, Stewie creates a stupid clone of himself that he uses as a slave. When he ends up creating a clone for Brian too, they find out that the clones are unstable, at which point the clones break down.

    Director:N/A

    Writer:Patrick Meighan

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    Writer:Patrick Meighan
14. 

    6.6/10(23 votes)

    #14 - Christmas Guy

    S12:E812/15/2013

    When Carter Pewterschmidt cancels the annual Quahog Christmas carnival, because he hates the holiday, Peter must transform his father-in-law from a Scrooge into a hometown hero in order to salvage the event. Meanwhile, Stewie devises a master plan to get the one and only thing he wants for Christmas.

    Director:N/A

    Writer:Patrick Meighan

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    Writer:Patrick Meighan
15. 

    6.6/10(14 votes)

    #15 - Bri, Robot

    S17:E122/10/2019

    Brian worries about the legacy he's leaving behind, so Stewie makes a robot duplicate as a living biography.

    Director:N/A

    Writer:Patrick Meighan

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    Writer:Patrick Meighan
16. 

    6.5/10(17 votes)

    #16 - Veteran Guy

    S16:E144/1/2018

    After Peter and the guys get caught pretending to be military veterans and are found guilty of the Stolen Valor Act, a judge sentences them to join the U.S. Coast Guard.

    Director:N/A

    Writer:Patrick Meighan

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17. 

    6.4/10(16 votes)

    #17 - German Guy

    S9:E112/20/2011

    Chris's search for a new hobby leads him to befriend a puppeteer named Franz, until his checkered past is revealed.

    Director:N/A

    Writer:Patrick Meighan

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18. 

    6.4/10(19 votes)

    #18 - Tea Peter

    S10:E215/13/2012

    When city hall threatens to close Peter's business, he joins the Tea Party and campaigns to shut down the government.

    Director:N/A

    Writer:Patrick Meighan

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19. 

    6.3/10(24 votes)

    #19 - No Chris Left Behind

    S5:E165/6/2007

    After Chris is expelled from school, he is sent to a boarding school that his grandfather Carter attended, but Chris doesn't exactly fit in. Meanwhile, the chicken returns to pick a fight with Peter.

    Director:N/A

    Writer:Patrick Meighan

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20. 

    6.1/10(18 votes)

    #20 - Excellence in Broadcasting

    S9:E210/3/2010

    Brian decides to confront Rush Limbaugh when he comes to Quahog for a book signing.

    Director:N/A

    Writer:Patrick Meighan

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    Writer:Patrick Meighan
21. 

    6.1/10(7 votes)

    #21 - CutawayLand

    S19:E411/1/2020

    Peter and Lois accidentally set up a cutaway gag together, which somehow transports them into the cutaway itself.

    Director:N/A

    Writer:Patrick Meighan

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    Writer:Patrick Meighan
22. 

    6.1/10(11 votes)

    #22 - Stewie's First Word

    S19:E19/27/2020

    Stewie finally says his first word, and it's a swear. When Lois is shunned by the other moms, she tries to figure out where Stewie could have possibly learned it.

    Director:N/A

    Writer:Patrick Meighan

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    Writer:Patrick Meighan
23. 

    6.0/10(9 votes)

    #23 - 80's Guy

    S20:E410/17/2021

    Impelled by nostalgia, Peter recreates movie scenes from his favorite decade; Stewie and Doug compete to retrieve a Frisbee stuck at the top of the jungle gym.

    Director:N/A

    Writer:Patrick Meighan

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24. 

    6.0/10(5 votes)

    #24 - China Doll

    S23:E115/4/2025

    When Stewie sees a tag on Rupert reading "Made in China," he heads off to China to meet Rupert's family.

    Director:N/A

    Writer:Patrick Meighan

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25. 

    5.9/10(18 votes)

    #25 - Trump Guy

    S17:E111/13/2019

    Peter is given the position of the next White House Press Secretary and the Griffin family gets ready to make a move to Washington, D.C.

    Director:N/A

    Writer:Patrick Meighan

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    Writer:Patrick Meighan