The Best Episodes Written By Roy Clarke

Episode Rankings

1. #1 Fan Favorite
   

   10.0/10(1 votes)

   #1 - The Father Christmas Suit

   S0:E112/25/1991

   Hyacinth has bought Richard a Father Christmas outfit for him to wear when distributing gifts to the old people at the Church Hall. Against his will, Richard puts on the outfit, but after having one too many sherries with Emmett, he is unable to fulfil the deed, hence Elizabeth puts on the outfit and pretends to be Richard.

   Director:N/A

   Writer:Roy Clarke

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   Writer:Roy Clarke
2. 

   10.0/10(2 votes)

   #2 - Apples and Self Service

   S1:E63/26/1976

   Arkwright has bought too many apples and desperately tries in vain to persuade each successive customer to buy some. After raising eyebrows around town after finding a pair of shop window dummy's legs, Granville tells his uncle he should adopt the personal touch in his sales methods. Arkwright, however, plumps for self-service and then suspects everyone of shoplifting.

   Director:N/A

   Writer:Roy Clarke

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3. 

   10.0/10(1 votes)

   #3 - Open All Hours (Pilot)

   S0:E13/25/1973

   Episode 1 of the Ronnie Barker anthology series of pilots, Seven of One. Stammering shopkeep Albert Arkwright runs a tight little corner shop in a Doncaster suburb. Certainly he's tight when it comes to cost-saving and his put-upon nephew Granville, whose mother apparently gave birth to him after a fling with a Hungarian, bears the brunt of Arkwright's doomed money-making schemes. The lad has to ride a delivery bike when he'd rather impress the girl at the garage with a van. Meanwhile, Arkwright lusts after district nurse Gladys Emmanuel.

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   Writer:Roy Clarke

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4. 

   10.0/10(1 votes)

   #4 - The Really Masculine Purse

   S9:E41/25/1987

   After Compo claims that any man who uses a purse is effeminate, Seymour tries to invent a strictly masculine purse.

   Director:N/A

   Writer:Roy Clarke

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5. 

   9.5/10(2 votes)

   #5 - Beware of the Dog

   S1:E43/12/1976

   When a crime wave hits the area, Arkwright decides to scare off any potential burglars by putting up a notice that says BEWARE OF THE DOG but, since everybody knows that he has no dog, he goes out to borrow one for the weekend from the local kennels.

   Director:N/A

   Writer:Roy Clarke

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   Writer:Roy Clarke
6. 

   9.5/10(2 votes)

   #6 - Fig Biscuits and Inspirational Toilet Rolls

   S2:E33/18/1981

   Whilst Granville moans about the shop opening at dawn, Arkwright bewails his inability to sell a load of fig biscuits and toilet rolls imprinted with biblical texts. The opportunity arises when Mavis mistakes the sepulchral voice of Granville in the cellar for a ghost advising her what to buy but unfortunately for Arkwright, he falls through the open trapdoor and breaks his leg.

   Director:N/A

   Writer:Roy Clarke

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7. 

   9.5/10(2 votes)

   #7 - Shedding at the Wedding

   S2:E64/5/1981

   To the envy of Granville who has never attended one, Arkwright is taking Nurse Gladys to a wedding and has taken his old suit out of mothballs, but it still reeks of camphor. Gladys makes him hang it out of the car window as they drive along but the trousers end up under a tractor's wheels.

   Director:N/A

   Writer:Roy Clarke

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8. 

   9.5/10(2 votes)

   #8 - The Cool Cocoa Tin Lid

   S3:E64/25/1982

   Fed up with tank-tops and shop pinnies, Granville decides to court a cool image. He gets a pair of shades and a nice fashionable shirt, but all that stops him from being the archetypal medallion man is a medallion. Perhaps a cocoa tin lid can provide a substitute.

   Director:N/A

   Writer:Roy Clarke

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   Writer:Roy Clarke
9. 

   9.5/10(2 votes)

   #9 - The Ginger Men

   S3:E23/28/1982

   When Arkwright finds himself with a surplus of Jamaican Ginger cakes, he tries various marketing ploys to sell them off, but hits the jackpot when he claims that the cakes contain drugs, leading customers fighting to get at them.

   Director:N/A

   Writer:Roy Clarke

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   Writer:Roy Clarke
10. 

    9.5/10(2 votes)

    #10 - Horse-Trading

    S4:E29/8/1985

    Arkwright has a rival: corner shop owner Mr Gupta, so he sends Granville undercover – in a sari – to check him out. Arkwright believes he can get one over on his rival by selling him a load of genuine Yorkshire clotheshorses but he has reckoned without Gupta's business skills.

    Director:N/A

    Writer:Roy Clarke

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11. 

    9.3/10(4 votes)

    #11 - Sea Fever

    S0:E212/26/1993

    Hyacinth and Richard prepare for their luxury stay on the QE2. Yet traffic, a muddy field and too much luggage result in a disastrous start to a holiday that only gets much worse for Hyacinth when she has reason to believe Onslow and Daisy have stowed-away and are also onboard the luxury cruise.

    Director:N/A

    Writer:Roy Clarke

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12. 

    9.0/10(2 votes)

    #12 - Full of Mysterious Promise

    S1:E12/20/1976

    Stuttering shopkeeper Albert Arkwright, assisted by his much put-upon nephew Granville, runs the corner shop in a Doncaster suburb, boasting that it's open all hours. When not pursuing Gladys Emmanuel, the district nurse who lives opposite the shop, Arkwright is ever on the lookout to save money, such as buying a load of fire-damaged tinned food. Unfortunately, the damage means that all the labels have come off so nobody knows exactly what they're meant to be buying.

    Director:N/A

    Writer:Roy Clarke

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13. 

    9.0/10(2 votes)

    #13 - Well Catered Funeral

    S1:E53/19/1976

    Arkwright goes with Nurse Gladys to the funeral of his friend Parslow. He's not keen to leave Granville in charge but it affords the opportunity to get rid of some unwanted bakery products for the wake. Having rung the shop constantly to ensure that Granville has got things under control, he later tells him he should get out more — as this'll give Arkwright more opportunity with Nurse Gladys.

    Director:N/A

    Writer:Roy Clarke

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14. 

    9.0/10(2 votes)

    #14 - A Mattress on Wheels

    S1:E22/27/1976

    Fed up with having to do deliveries in all weathers on his bike, Granville suggests Arkwright invest in a van. Needless to say, his uncle balks at the expense until Granville points out that it could be a mattress on wheels, a means of impressing Nurse Gladys. Arkwright buys a secondhand one and Granville wishes he hadn't when he takes it out on the road.

    Director:N/A

    Writer:Roy Clarke

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15. 

    9.0/10(2 votes)

    #15 - St Albert's Day

    S2:E74/19/1981

    Arkwright has always told Granville his father was a Hungarian but then a real Hungarian comes into the shop. Could it be him? Arkwright is more concerned that he may be a shoplifter and hits on a cunning plan to part him from his jacket so that he can search the pockets for evidence. Welcome to the mythical feast day of St Albert!

    Director:N/A

    Writer:Roy Clarke

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16. 

    9.0/10(2 votes)

    #16 - The New Suit

    S2:E43/22/1981

    Nurse Gladys has forced Arkwright to buy a new suit because she's tired of being seen around with him in a shabby suit.

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    Writer:Roy Clarke

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17. 

    9.0/10(2 votes)

    #17 - The Reluctant Traveller

    S2:E23/8/1981

    Arkwright decides to take Nurse Gladys to a hotel, leaving Granville in a position to make his play for the milk round lady. However, Arkwright, hands on as ever and never keen to be too far away from the shop, has booked himself and Gladys into a hotel just round the corner — where he has problems with an extra-tight money belt.

    Director:N/A

    Writer:Roy Clarke

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18. 

    9.0/10(2 votes)

    #18 - Laundry Blues

    S2:E13/1/1981

    Nurse Gladys feels sorry for Granville, struggling to do the laundry by hand, and suggests to Arkwright that he buy a washing machine. Arkwright wants Gladys' affections but doesn't want to spend too much money, so he ensures that she sees a brand-new machine being delivered — which is then taken away and replaced by an elderly secondhand one.

    Director:N/A

    Writer:Roy Clarke

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19. 

    9.0/10(2 votes)

    #19 - An Errand Boy by the Ear

    S3:E13/21/1982

    There are protests when Arkwright is caught dragging Granville around by his ear. Whilst Arkwright reasons that this is what errand boys are for, the customers choose to differ and force Arkwright to improve his nephew's lot in life.

    Director:N/A

    Writer:Roy Clarke

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20. 

    9.0/10(2 votes)

    #20 - The Man from Down Under

    S3:E54/18/1982

    Arkwright learns that a former beau of Nurse Gladys' is returning from Australia, where he emigrated a couple decades ago to make his fortune. Naturally, Arkwright is disheartened to think that Gladys might be tempted by her old flame and sets about to take drastic action with the man he believes to be his rival.

    Director:N/A

    Writer:Roy Clarke

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21. 

    9.0/10(2 votes)

    #21 - How to Ignite Your Errand Boy

    S3:E44/11/1982

    Arkwright considers yet another money-making scheme. Everybody seems to want fire-lighters in the winter so he can save cash by making his own — or rather getting Granville to make them in the shed at the back... with explosive results.

    Director:N/A

    Writer:Roy Clarke

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22. 

    9.0/10(2 votes)

    #22 - The Mystical Boudoir of Nurse Gladys Emmanuel

    S4:E610/6/1985

    Ever persistent to worm his way into Nurse Gladys' bedroom as well as her affections, Arkwright finds that flattery and chocolates are no use. But he's got a cunning plan to use Granville to impersonate a burglar, wearing a stocking mask to scare Gladys so that Arkwright can come running... into her room.

    Director:N/A

    Writer:Roy Clarke

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23. 

    9.0/10(1 votes)

    #23 - Getting Sam Home (1983 Christmas Special)

    S0:E612/27/1983

    After Sam's inconsiderate demise at the home of Lily-Bless-Her, our trio are faced with the task of explaining to his wife about his wet feet and fluffy suit.

    Director:N/A

    Writer:Roy Clarke

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24. 

    8.7/10(3 votes)

    #24 - Let There Be Light

    S4:E710/17/1993

    It is the "bring and buy" sale at the Church hall and the Church goers are in for a shock because Hyacinth has volunteered Richard to fix the Church hall electrics, despite his lack of electrical capabilities. Meanwhile Onslow, Daisy, and Rose turn up with a Daddy believing he is back in the war.

    Director:N/A

    Writer:Roy Clarke

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25. 

    8.5/10(2 votes)

    #25 - A Nice Cosy Little Disease

    S1:E33/5/1976

    Arkwright feels that Nurse Gladys has been neglecting him and, in order to get her undivided attention, he must come down with a 'disease', nothing too serious, just something that'll have her lavishing attention on him. She sees through the ruse and is ready to beat him at his own game.

    Director:N/A

    Writer:Roy Clarke

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