X Middle School has gone Canada Crazy, and the ambassador is staying over along with his assistant Penny Madrid, who happens to be an old partner in crime with Fillmore. Winston Kotter, the Canadian ambassador, turned Penny around just as the Safety Patrol turned Fillmore around—but Fillmore can't help suspecting something's up, especially as a huge supply of counterfeit baseball cards appear. However, as Winston has full diplomatic immunity, safety patrol investigation is strictly forbidden.

Spring break has arrived, so Fillmore's taking the time to visit his former partner, Wayne Liggett. In Wayne's new school, something about the Safety Patrol stinks. The prize pralines of the school have been stolen, and the prime suspect is their Patrol Sheriff Thrift—who just so happens to be the son of their principal.

Tina and Toby are the stars of the school at both dancing and smoit-collecting. Smoits are tokens found on dairy bars and packets of chips used to buy basically anything a kid could want once enough of them are saved up. The smoit stash goes missing, and Fillmore and Ingrid go undercover in X's steamy underground casino scene. They discover Toby's gambling debts, and he becomes the prime suspect, which destroys his dance partnership with Tina.

Vampirita, a series of novels about an astronaut vampiress, has attracted a huge following at X—and none moreso than Torrey and Terri. The next installment of the series will be released in a fortnight, and until then, fans can audition to star in the next book. The girls start to build projects to win the auditions, but every time one is finished, it gets sabotaged. The main suspects are two members of a rival novel's fan club, however, the evidence seems to point to neither of them.

Reformed thug Linus Santiago wows the crowd at the X Middle School Talent Show with his magic act. Unfortunately, his disappearing trick with Dewey Hubble's robotic dog Barcode goes horribly wrong and it won't reappear. Santiago refuses to tell the Safety Patrol how he did the trick due to the Magician's Code, but by doing so, he makes himself the prime suspect. Dewey is anxious to get his robotic dog back as it's a stepping stone to getting a real dog. However, when Barcode's collar is found in the lake, all hope could be lost—for both Dewey and Santiago.

The Ultrabox, the hottest new game system on the market, makes its debut at X, and everyone wants one—including "The Maestro," a gaming mastermind who will stop at nothing to get it. Fillmore and Ingrid track him down, but the Ultrabox is stolen while he's in custody. It looks like a copycat is on the loose.

Four victims—Wilbur, Grover, Becca and Stella. Four bullies—Rochelle, Bryan, Fiona and Horace. Someone's fed up of people being made to feel small and scared and is targeting each victim's bully respectively. Despite not wanting to help bullies, Fillmore starts to investigate who would want to scare the bullies so much. The main suspects are the four victims, but the victim of each bully is proven to have an alibi.

Something's down at the X Middle School Open—professional golfers are failing at games, and foul play is suspected. Normally, Fillmore would be all-up for an undercover job like this, but something in his past is making him hesitate.

Fillmore and Ingrid investigate the mysterious vanishing of a student named Alexis, only to find that all reports of her have vanished from the school, and she's even been taken out of pictures. Meanwhile, someone is working on a computer virus called Electric Haircut, which must be stopped before it causes any irreparable damage.

Vallejo's nearing his second term test for Junior Commissioner, and in the meantime, a crime crops up involving "The Shredder", an anonymous criminal who shreds people's pet projects. Unfortunately, not a single one of the victims saw the Shredder's face. This seems like a job for Vallejo's old profiler partner, Frank Bishop, who was driven from the Safety Patrol in disgrace. He is tasked to deduce a pattern to the Shredder's crimes and discover who is next on the list.

Rookie officer Peter Chestnut is the latest of four brothers to join the Safety Patrol. He has a lot to live up to—his older brother Robert was a highly decorated Safety Patroller and is now the Student Council President. When a shipment of stolen X Middle School foam spirit lobster claws is tracked back to also-ran Oscar Mabini, it looks like Peter has closed his first case—perhaps a bit too easily.

Facing expulsion under Principal Folsom's new "Three Strikes, You're Out" rule, Fillmore must protect the only person capable of clearing his name to a crime he has been framed for—the destruction of a giant Folsom statue made out of 12,000 pieces of macaroni.

Guildenstern, the Science Department's tarantula mascot, has been poisoned, and the prime suspect, Eric Orben, has escaped into the city. Fillmore is given a permit to go out and track him down, but he has to contend with a relentless opponent from his bad-boy past.