After Clegg delivers what Mrs, Norbury claims is the wrong linoleum, Norm is left at the co-op while Sherbert delivers the correct order in hopes of getting permission to date Aubrey Norbury. Meanwhile Norm has to take measurements for a suit, but has no idea what he is doing.

Dilys and Brad are getting married. The lads travel to the registry office on Compo's old motorbike and side-car, which keeps tipping up. At the reception, Compo has to sit with his trousers around his ankles because he's got oil all over them. Mr Clegg reads out the telegrams, one of which is from Brad's airbase, recalling him to duty. Later, the lads go for a walk and find Foggy guarding a bridge. He shows them his new bayonet, but manages to drop it into the river. Compo is lowered over the bridge using Seymour's long scarf. He falls in but manages to retrieve the missing bayonet. Next morning, war is declared on Germany.

Compo is challenged to a fight by Chunky Livesy, so tricks Foggy into being his substitute.

Sulking because he hasn't been issued a real rifle, Foggy opts out of his army training and takes the boys camping instead. Unfortunately, his choice of campsite leads to an inevitable disaster.

After discovering Mister Scrimshaw is a secret snuff taker, Clegg, Sherbet and Seymour look for his stash in order to introduce a new ingredient.

Compo is in trouble with Chunky Livesy once again, this time going out with one of Chunky's ex-girlfriends. Time for some daft schemes and an oversized rain coat to save him from a nasty thrashing.

Compo wants a job at the Co-Op, but in the process Clegg, Sherbet and Seymour get the sack.

Seymour just can't catch the eye of Miss Deborah Norbury, so gets a helping hand in courting from Compo, of all people.

The lads are all feeling stiff after pushing a gypsy caravan belonging to Compo's mother. Anita Pilsworth is still chasing Clegg. Foggy is practising camouflage techniques. He's talked into pretending to be a shop-window dummy and he subsequently manages to startle Wally. Compo devises a plan to help Wally by dressing up as a gypsy fortune-teller and convincing Nora that she'll marry a "short miserable little nit wearing an LNER cap". All goes well until the caravan rolls away, dragging Compo past the girls and revealing the identity of the fortune-teller.

The gang discuss the Co-op dance which took place the night before. Clegg is rather embarrassed because Anita Pilsworth from Accounts walked him home. Compo bemoans the fact that he can't foxtrot. He practices with a shop dummy, thus annoying Mr Scrimshaw. Wally is still failing to impress Nora with his new motorbike, mainly because it falls over whenever he gets off. Seymour declares his intention to become a fighter pilot once the war starts. He asks Foggy what qualifications he would need. Foggy says that he would have to be able to spin around at high speed. The lads spin him round in Mr Scrimshaw's office chair. He ends up dizzy and very unsteady on his feet. Mr Scrimshaw thinks he's been drinking. The gang go to the cinema. Compo has no money, so he tries to sneak in through a rooftop window. He ends up dangling in front of the screen and is caught by the commissionaire.

The lads convince Foggy that they have 'borrowed' a dead body from the Co-op funeral service. It's actually Wally wrapped in a sheet. Mr Scrimshaw spends most of the day setting up a display of tins, only to see it collapse at closing time. At the cinema, Seymour learns that Deborah Norbury is upstairs in the circle. He goes up to see her but is tripped by Lena. He falls into Deborah's lap and she walks out on him. Compo is thrown out of the cinema. He tries to sneak back in through the window in the gents' lavatory. He manages to pull a cistern off the wall and gets soaked.

Trying to impress Nora, Wally Batty goes to extremes to make himself grow taller - with Clegg and the others help of course.