A lonely fireman is obsessed with his dog, loving it more than his shrewish wife. He is able to fulfill his fondest wish when he finds a cursed aboriginal dogleash that lets him slowly merge his wife and his dog into one being that will love him forever.

My Wife as a Dog

Louise Robey

Chris Wiggins

John D. LeMay

Jack-in-the-Box

The Long Road Home

Part one of this two-parter features Jack travelling to Marie-Mere in France on the trail of a cursed tome, Lucifer's Bible. The town is a holy site, with a fountain that cures the sick and dying. However, a priest of Satan, Asteroth, has the Bible and is using it to fulfull a series of prophecies that will culminate with the arrival of Satan on Earth. Meanwhile, Ryan is re-united with his mother, and the two deal with the death of his brother years ago over which Ryan is still guilty. The episode ends with Jack knocked through a window and put into a coma after a confrontation with Asteroth.

The Prophecies (1)

Micki and Ryan get word of Jack's injury at the end of the preceding episode. They travel to Marie-Mere with Johnny Ventura to investigate and try to recover Lucifer's Bible. Asteroth uses the Bible to take control of Ryan, who must then kill an innocent child to fulfill the final prophecy that signifies Satan's arrival upon Earth. Ultimately, Jack recovers and he, Micki and Johnny manage to thwart Asteroth. However, the ritual turns Ryan into a 10-year old permanently. He leaves with his mother, and Johnny takes his place.

The Prophecies (2)

A close-knit family, the Cassidys, had a daughter who was kidnapped by a cult of demon worshippers. They used her to summon a demon. The daughter escaped, and now the family huts the demon. The cult was connected with Lewis Vendredi, and used a secret cavern beneath Curious Goods for their rituals. The paths of the Cassidys and our intrepid trio cross when they track the demon to the store. The demon must be killed by midnight on a particular day, or it will remain on Earth forever. Ultimately, the demon is destroyed and the trio use the expanded space from the cavern to store more antiques, as the Vault was filling up.

Demon Hunter

Fleeing fraternity boys who plan to gang-rape her, a figure skater is hit by a car and crippled. However, a mysterious old man sells her an antique wheelchair at a garage sale. The wheelchair is one of the cursed items, and allows the girl to use it to kill her victimizers and regain the use of a bit of her body with each death. Micki and Jack are out of town trying to recover an antique, so Johnny must deal with the matter on his own. He initially leaves the girl with the wheelchair out of pity, but she continues to kill. Ultimately, the girl is killed, and Johnny recovers the chair.

Crippled Inside

Adam Cole and his partner run a vaudeville-style mental act using secret passwords. However, the act threatens to fall apart since Cole is losing his hearing. While being treated by a doctor, he finds an antique hearing aid in the doctor's collection. Using it, he discoveres that he can read minds, but the mental messages ultimately build up and kill the user...unless he discharges them into a victim. Either way, the result is a messy death. The trio track down Cole performing his new act. Left with nowhere to run, Cole can't ""discharge"" the accumulated thoughts and dies a gory death.

Stick It In Your Ear

While mourning the death of his father (in last season's The Prisoner), Johnny catches wind of a series of murders with the victims bearing the mark of a ram's head on their forehead. It turns out that two crooked cops have recovered the Coin of Ziocles (from Tails I Live, Heads You Die). In a shootout, one of them is killed along with a drug dealer they were in cahoots with. The other, live cop figures out the coin can resurrect the dead, and uses it to resurrect his partner as a semi-zombie. They then use the Coin to kill a prostitute, but Johnny grabs the coin from them...and uses it to resurrect his father. Meanwhile, Micki is in a near-useless state, since she herself was briefly dead, killed by the Coin earlier. She doesn't want to go through that again. Disgusted with Johnny's selfish use of the coin, Jack kicks him out, but Johnny manages to redeem himself after the cops get the coin back and try to resurrect the drug dealer to find out where their money is. Johnny saves Micki,

Bad Penny

Johnny inadvertently screws up when he sells a box of junk to a retarded neighbor without checking the Manifest. A cursed antique car radio is among the items sold. The retarded man's brother, a car repairman and a racist, discovers that the radio can be used to travel back in time when smeared with a murdered victim's blood. He plans to travel back to the 50's in the South and prevent his father from being arrested and killed on murder charges, by killing the black lawyer his father tried to kill. Johnny and Jack, holding on to the car during the racist's second trip, travel back in time with him and manage to stop him. Ultimately, the racist ends up being burned at the stake by his father and other KKK members, who mistakenly think he is working with the black civil rights lawyer he was trying to kill.

Hate On Your Dial

20 years ago, a man's fiancee is stolen by vampires and transformed into one. Obsessed, he hunts vampires until the modern day, when he stumbles upon a cursed antique cross that lets him not only repel vampires, but incinerate them. Of course, he must kill someone to get the cross to work. Jack's friend, a priest, is the first one killed by the cross and Jack becomes involved as a result. Ultimiately we find out that the man's fiancee is now a willing vampire. Ultimately, everyone is killed, including the vampire hunter and his fiancee.

Night Prey

Desmond Williams, a director, is obsessed with the role that his now-aged actress-wife played 50 years ago: that of femme fatale Lili Lita in a film-noir crime film. He finds a cursed reel that lets him bring the Lili character to life, by pushing an innocent female victim into the film itself while its playing. The victim is forced to relive the entire movie...which ends with the character they are stuck as being killed. Meanwhile, the movie version of Lili emerges into the real-world for the same period of time. To stay alive, Lili must convince Desmond to kill her aged real-life counterpart. The character is also increasingly dissatisfied with her limited ""life"" as a sex toy for Desmond. Ultimately, the aged actress shoots her husband when she finds out what is going on, and decides to enter into the film (replacing a trapped Micki) so she can have her youth back. Trapped with nowhere to go when the film ends, the film Lili is destroyed for good.

Femme Fatale

A famous author of real-life biographies of serial killers, famed for his insights, owes his success to an antique pen. He writes out his story of a serial killer's murders, then uses the pen to ""inject"" them with the story. The curse then turns the victim into a serial killer controlled by the story and forced to go out and kill. Eventually they are captured and then the author extracts the evil just as they are executed, leaving them confused and then dead. Micki becomes the author's next victim. Fortunately, Jack and Johnny stop her before she can kill anyone other than the author himself.

Mightier Than the Sword

The trio track a cursed tea set to a samurai, Musashi: an honorable man, but one who refuses to give them the antique unless they aid him in recovering a mystical set of oriental monkey statues (which represent See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil). A wealth Japanese industrialist, Tanaka, has them, and they reward his honorable behavior with success in business. Now he is almost ready to die, and the magic of the statues require that he use them to test the honor of his three children to see which one will inherit. Each monkey gives a child magical powers, but the two sons abuse their power and fail to act honorably. Forced to choose seppuku (ritual suicide) they refuse, and the monkey statues then kill them. each death further reinvigorates Tanaka. The daughter passes her test, but is then required to use the statues to kill her father. She refuses, and kills herself. Musashi then confronts his old friend Tanaka and tricks him into killing the unarmed samurai. Having acted dishon

Year of the Monkey

A lonely, somewhat twisted mortician stumbles upon the cursed properties of an antique embalmers' aspirator. He can use it to kill one person, to resurrect another without memory. He kills someone with it and then uses it to resurrect a young woman he has fallen in love with. Unfortunately, the woman's husband begins to suspect, and the resurrected woman starts to remember her past life. Ultimately the mortician is killed after he starts a fire, and the women decide to remain in the fire and die again, leaving the trio to recover the indestructible antique from the ashes.

Epitaph For a Lonely Soul

Micki, Johnny, and Jack are taking a break, and star-gazing in Jack's old hometown. However, a ghostly biker gang, the Midnight Riders, rolls into town. At the same time, Jack's father Cawley, who has been gone for ten years, also shows up. The gang is out for revenge, as they were falsely accused of raping a girl who lied to protect her reputation and explain the fact she was pregnant. Jack's father was one of the ones who killed the gang and hid the secret. It turns out that Jack's father is also a ghost: he died at sea, but has returned on the anniversary of the gang's death. The girl and the others who participated in the gang's death are killed, and after a brief reunion with his son, Cawley's ghost disappears as well.

Midnight Riders

In this unusual episode, none of the main characters appear except Micki very briefly at the beginning and end. A newspaper columnist accidentally hits a young girl who was wearing a cursed cameo. The silhouette starts harping at him in the young girl's voice to free her by killing someone else. The columnist then kills his ambitious, obsessive mother which frees the girl...but then the mother's voice starts haunting him. He kills a homeless man to bring her back to life, but then is haunted by that man's voice. Ultimately the columnist tries to reverse the curse by killing his mother and then the girl again, and ends up killing himself. At the end, a social worker stumbles across the locket and turns it over to Micki.

Repetition

In the first few minutes, Micki and Johnny recover a yin-yang amulet that lets the user switch bodies after killing someone. They steal it from a wife and her lover trying to kill her husband, and manage to escape. But, on the way back they run out of gas and stumble on a home lived in by two brothers. The brothers are psychopaths who have stuffed their family to keep around the house, and they want Micki. Johnny breaks his leg, but uses the amulet to switch places with the younger brother. He eventually convinces Micki of who he is, and they eventually manage to restore Johnny to his original body. The younger brother is killed, and the other dying brother uses the amulet to inhabit the stuffed body of one of his family members. However, Micki and Johnny manage to puncture enough holes in the animated body that all the stuffing is blown out by the high winds of a storm.

A friend of Micki's, who works at a pool club, is drowned by two intruders. The widow inadvertently gives her daughter a jack-in-the-box from a sailor's museum, and the girl discovers that if she kills people with it, she can summon back the ghost of her father for a little while. When the jack-in-the-box opens, the victim is grabbed by a water spirit from a nearby source of water and drowned. The ghostly father isn't happy with his daughter's methods, but the girl's grieving mother has turned to alcohol. Eventually the ghost contacts Micki, who manages to show up in time to stop the girl from killing herself so that she can be with her father forever. Micki recovers the antique and the girl and her mother try to work things out.

A psychic medium is dying of a rare degenerative disease. She stumbles upon a cursed television set, which allows her to put her customers in contact with the spirits of their dearly departed. Besides being paid a hefty fee for these real manifestations, she also gets a temporary 10-day extension of her life. The curse later sends the same spirits, horribly twisted and vengeful, after their ""loved one"" and kill them.  The trio notice the pattern of deaths and a friend of Jack's tries to debunk the medium's powers. Eventually he commits suicide rather then let the spirits claim him, and the failure to follow through means the medium dies too.

Spirit of Television

An exclusive fertility clinic is much mroe than it seems. It is run by a cult of female Druids who use a cursed fertility statue to expand their numbers. When infertile couples come to them, they use a ritual that kills the husband and results in the birth of twins: a boy and a girl. They only tell the mother that one child was born, and turn over the boy. They keep the girl to raise as a Druid priestess. A friend of Micki's is undergoing treatment, leading the trio to the clinic. They manage to break up the statue before the Druid priestesses can use a ritual to cause the fertility statue to replicate. The head Druids die, and the trio manage to reunite the young girls with their true mothers.

The Tree of Life

Micki is sent through a two-way time portal contained within a painting and finds herself at the mercy of the Marquis de Sade.

The Charnel Pit

Micki and Ryan with the help of their friend Jack try to recover cursed antiques so they can store them in safety inside the antique store's vault.

My Wife as a Dog

Seasons3

Season 3 Episodes20

Cast3

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