Graham sets Wendy up on a date with a scout leader. Wendy retaliates by trying to unleash the animal inside of him.

The first day at school is culture shock for everyone, particularly the girls, who are fawned after by the entire student body. But the young men soon back away from the girls when JR tries to impress two guys by revealing that Coach Lubbock killed a kid in New York ""just to watch him die.""

The girls are finally allowed to participate in Phys Ed, much to their dismay. When Graham realizes Wendy can run fast, he talks her into joining the track team -- much to J.R.'s dismay.

On report card day, Graham convinces Wendy that she's tested in the genius range on IQ tests to increase her learning potential. When Sherrie gets wind of this news, she breaks into the school records and discovers that she herself is not the genius she was always told she was.

The Lubbock clan make it to Eureka, California, where Graham's accepting a coaching job at St Auggie's Academy — but the family's in for some surprises. First, the Coach learns that the university is an all-boys school which his daughters will be attending. Then they arrive at their new run-down home, and find it "looks like something out of Nightmare on Elm Street." But the biggest surprise is that Graham only got the job because his former student, Duane Johnson, works on the faculty, and has been corresponding with Elizabeth.

Graham's plans for buying an organ for Elizabeth are altered when the transmission goes out on the station wagon. Frustrated, Graham decides to sell the car for organ money, unaware that the girls have raised the money to fix the transmission.

Gavin Doosler is depressed that he can't go on the annual ski trip -- instead he'll be spending his break at his parents beach house in the Virgin Islands. When the girls get wind of this, of course they want to go to comfort him -- too bad his parents say the three of them ""are too sleazy to hang out with."" But since his parents love Marie, Wendy tells him that Marie has a crush on him. Marie, who was excited about the ski trip, is told that Gavin is dying. So the four girls head off in their winter attire (except Cindy, who foolishly leaves the house in her beach clothes) and they and Gavin are off on a private plane to the beach. Things are going well at first, until the clueless Sister Ethel reveals that the girls never arrived. (Part One of Two)

JR, feeling that he's being overshadowed by his sisters, tries to make his mark by spray-painting ""Ratboy Lives"" on the side of the gym.

For his birthday, Graham receives an unsigned brown-paper-wrapped shoebox containing $1,233, but is reluctant to keep it. He suspects that it came from friends who wanted to help with the moving expenses – unaware that Cindy had raffled herself off for a date with the young men of St. Auggies.

While the coach is away, the girls will play! Graham and Elizabeth go on a camping trip, leaving eldest daughter Marie in charge. But Marie has trouble controlling Cindy and Wendy – who invite over a bunch of guys.

The girls are each to get jobs to help bring in some extra cash. Connie ends up in a meat packing plant; Marie becomes a volenteer; Cindy gets exploited for her beauty at a job as a receptionist at a health club; and Wendy is too distracted by shopping to look for work.

When Wendy gets suspended from school, for cutting classes, her punishment is taking over Elizabeth's housewife duties for a day. Wendy thinks she can do it all in one day and have two left over to relax. After an exhausting day of chores and a freak-out when little Harvey wanders off, Wendy learns how hard it really is to fill her mother's shoes.

Graham and J.R. go to the store for groceries and come back with a cow. When the girls learn that Graham's bought it to slaughter, they resort to drastic measures -- getting the cow pregnant.

Graham intercepts a note that's being passed around the class, which boasts about a guy having been out with ""the hottest Lubbock babe"" the previous night. Of course the hot-tempered Coach flips out, particularly when he learns that three of his daughters were out on dates the night before.

Elizabeth becomes convinced that she was having a conversation with God, though no one believes her. That is, until a tree crashes through a bedroom window, where the kids would have been, had she not forced them to start praying. . .

While her sisters are yapping in her ear, Marie accidentally taps Father Hargis's car and sends it rolling into the campus pool. But when Father Hargis finds his car underwater and flips out, no one wants to fess up to what happened.

Marie meets a guy at a party who she's interested in -- but her sisters complain that Russell's too much of a nerd. Marie opts to take her sisters' advice and ignore him, until she has a heartfelt talk with Elizabeth, who encourages her to give him a chance.

Wendy and Cindy go out on a double-date. But Cindy's date, Cort, is more interested in Wendy than the girl on his arm. Cort breaks a date to go to an Oingo Boingo concert with Cindy and takes Wendy instead. Marie realizes what's going on, so she coaxes Cindy into giving Wendy a taste of her own medicine by going out with Wendy's boyfriend, Blitz.

St Auggie's holds a variety show and the Lubbock clan participate. The Lubbock Babes do thier usual performance, JR and Sherrie do a magic show, and Graham does a comedy routine. . .despite his stage fright.

When Graham finds a cigarette in the basement, he drills the kids to find out who it belonged to. He immediately suspects Wendy. . .but he never suspects it could have been Sherrie's. . .

After letting it slip that she's going out with a guy named Bill, Wendy cruises the library and gets a guy named Ed to play Bill, so he can pass Graham's ""Dinner Test"" -- where Graham tests the boyfriend to see if he's worthy of taking out his daughter.

Connie gets the opportunity to write a review of the school's stage production of ""Death of a Salesman"" for the newspaper, which Cindy is starring in with Gavin Doosler. After gritting her teeth through the awful performance, she writes two reviews -- a nice one and a scathing one. Guess which one gets used. . .

When Graham falls through the already-broken porch railing, he conducts a trial with his children to find out who broke it.

Wendy steals Elizabeth's I.D. and Cindy steals Marie's so that the underage duo can sneak into an exclusive dance club. The bouncer has problems believing that Wendy's in her forties, so Cindy is the only one that gets in. Meanwhile, Marie finds herself tutoring (and falling for) Father Hargis's nephew, Damien, whom the coach has never met. So when Cindy's date from the club shows up asking for Marie, disaster is inevitable.

Connie gets the opportunity to write for St. Augie's literary journal. After overcoming her writers-block, she finally writes a paper that gets published. . .but the paper gets recalled when Father Hargis deems it pornography.