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The Worst Episodes of L.A. Law

Every episode of L.A. Law ranked from worst to best. Explore the Worst Episodes of L.A. Law!

L.A. Law is an American television legal drama series that ran for eight seasons on NBC from September 15, 1986, to May 19, 1994. Created by...
Genres:DramaWar & Politics
Network:NBC

Worst Episodes Summary

"Helter Shelter" is the worst rated episode of "L.A. Law". It scored 5.2/10 based on 26 votes. Directed by Tom Moore and written by John Masius, John Tinker, it aired on 12/10/1992. This episode scored 0.7 points lower than the second lowest rated, "Christmas Stalking".

  • Helter Shelter
    5.2/1026 votes
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    #1 - Helter Shelter

    Season 7 Episode 7 - Aired 12/10/1992

    Brackman is distraught when the pocket watch he inherited from his father disappears; new associate Melina Paros joins the firm; Becker accepts an intricate assignment from Flicker, forcing him to deal with the manipulative wife of Flicker's silent partner; after Lincoln escapes from Benny and ends up at the pound, Markowitz takes extreme measures to get the dog released; Brackman gets a ghost writer for his autobiography; Taylor's pursuer sends her a gruesome gift, which only serves to alarm her further as she begins to suspect every man she encounters; Melman doesn't know how to handle Mullaney's new-found ardor; Paros prosecutes her final case for the State's Attorney's office as she attempts to prove that a woman may have abused her children.

    Director: Tom Moore

    Writer: John Masius, John Tinker

  • Christmas Stalking
    5.9/1027 votes
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    #2 - Christmas Stalking

    Season 7 Episode 8 - Aired 12/17/1992

    Kelsey represents Markowitz in court and gets the charges suspended with Mullaney's support; suspecting that Morales may be her stalker, Taylor gives him the cold shoulder until Melman sets her straight; Paros wins her child abuse case with a little behind-the-scenes help from McKenzie; after Becker gives Flicker an ultimatum about Schuller, Flicker arranges for Becker to be carjacked and abandoned in the desert, where he comes to the rescue and offers Becker a ride home and a high-level job at the studio; a caring physician uncovers that the cause of Markowitz's strange behavior is a brain cyst that can be treated with medication, and he's released from the psych ward of the hospital; after Brackman coldly rebuffs the partners' gift of a new pocket watch, Lincoln finally offers up the original, to Brackman's joy and relief; Romney unsuccessfully pursues both Taylor and a job at the firm; Mullaney and Melman ride out a few rough patches on the road to parenthood.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: Julie Martin, John Masius, John Tinker

  • Foreign Co-Respondent
    6.0/1030 votes
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    #3 - Foreign Co-Respondent

    Season 8 Episode 4 - Aired 10/28/1993

    McKenzie urges Eli to join the firm and his restricted men's club; a couple move to sue their travel agent for a nightmare trip; a Chinese financier faces murder charges for the death of an illegal immigrant.

    Director: Mark Tinker

    Writer: Julie Martin, Paul Manning, William M. Finkelstein

  • L.A. Lawless
    6.1/1044 votes
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    #4 - L.A. Lawless

    Season 7 Episode 1 - Aired 10/22/1992

    McKenzie, Brackman restructures itself into a leaner, meaner firm with the arrival of new partner Daniel Morales and the departure of Grace, C.J. and Susan Bloom; after a harrowing encounter with a dissatisfied knife-throwing client, Becker swears off marital law and vows to make entertainment law his new specialty; Gwen begins her internship and expresses an interest in the widowed Daniel and his baby daughter; Zoey is released from the hospital, but not from the guilt surrounding the shooting; Becker represents an actor suing his amusement park employer for unlawful termination; as the 1992 Los Angeles riots erupt, Brackman is mistaken for a looter and arrested, while Markowitz sustains severe head trauma after being dragged from his car and beaten by an angry mob.

    Director: Rick Wallace

    Writer: John Masius, John Tinker

  • Second Time Around
    6.1/1034 votes
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    #5 - Second Time Around

    Season 7 Episode 2 - Aired 10/29/1992

    Five months have passed since the 1992 Los Angeles riots, and Brackman becomes his own worst enemy when he sues the city for false arrest on the charge of disturbing the peace; Jonathan begins to compromise his principles as he ramps up his bid for election; Mullaney accepts a position in the District Attorney's office; Markowitz is discharged from the hospital and begins the slow road to recovery; Becker is back from his trip around the world; when a dying man confesses to committing a murder for which Leland successfully prosecuted someone else thirty years earlier, Daniel agrees to represent the man Leland sent to jail in an attempt to win him a new trial; Zoey returns to work, and finds herself unhappy in her new assignment to the asset forfeiture division.

    Director: Elodie Keene

    Writer: Paul Manning

  • Spanky and the Art Gang
    6.1/1025 votes
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    #6 - Spanky and the Art Gang

    Season 7 Episode 10 - Aired 1/14/1993

    Becker and Morales successfully defend the dominatrix accused of Schuller's death; Rollins represents a developer who deliberately commissions an offensive sculpture for one of his buildings in retaliation against a City Hall ruling; Brackman is less than thrilled at the efforts of his ghost writer until a publisher decides to option the book; McKenzie goes to bat for Taylor when she's denied insurance coverage; Markowitz balks at preparing for the trial of the men who attacked him; Taylor gets a unwelcome late night visitor.

    Director: Elodie Keene

    Writer: N/A

  • Dead Issue
    6.2/1027 votes
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    #7 - Dead Issue

    Season 8 Episode 18 - Aired 4/21/1994

    Markowitz reluctantly takes a court case of a libel suit involving an investigative reporter being sued by a former a nuclear physicist who was accused of conducting radiation experiments on unwitting subjects in the 1950s. Meanwhile, Kelsey handles a divorce case between a woman and her husband, a Grateful Dead fanatic. Also, Becker gets involved with D.A. Belinda Fox, who is determined to prosecute his client for pandering.

    Director: Mark Tinker

    Writer: William M. Finkelstein

  • McKenzie, Brackman, Barnum & Bailey
    6.3/1029 votes
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    #8 - McKenzie, Brackman, Barnum & Bailey

    Season 8 Episode 11 - Aired 2/10/1994

    A ballerina sues a dance company for breach of contract; an aging juggler accuses his protégé of stealing his act; and Benny dances around a commitment to Rosalie.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A

  • Silence is Golden
    6.3/1029 votes
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    #9 - Silence is Golden

    Season 8 Episode 17 - Aired 4/14/1994

    Becker and Mullaney suspect, but cannot prove, that Flannigan committed a felony in settling a civil damages suit in a child molestation case; Rollins successfully pleads with an over-controlling father to drop a law suit against his fashion model daughter; Flannigan wins the undying gratitude of the Brackmans when he uses his influence to get their son accepted into a prestigious prep school.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: Julie Martin, Paul Haggis

  • Zo Long
    6.4/1028 votes
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    #10 - Zo Long

    Season 7 Episode 3 - Aired 11/5/1992

    Brackman sees life's underbelly from behind bars; Jonathan gets in a mudslinging contest in the final days before the election, and makes comments about the attack on Markowitz that draws the anger of the other members of the firm; Mullaney prosecutes a child abuse case in which the opposing counsel is a nun; Zoey seeks a change of venue for her life and career; Kelsey finds it difficult to work at home while taking of her husband, who is increasingly frustrated by his disability.

    Director: Marisa Silver

    Writer: John Masius, John Tinker, Anne Kenney

  • Love on the Rox
    6.4/1026 votes
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    #11 - Love on the Rox

    Season 7 Episode 6 - Aired 12/3/1992

    Kelsey represents a man who wants to prevent his ex-wife from implanting the frozen embryos that they created during their marriage; Taylor stumbles in her first unsupervised appearance in court opposite Romney, but manages to get back on track with McKenzie's help; Rollins gets a surprise when he finally meets the landlord of the South Central apartment he rented to establish residency during the campaign; Mullaney agrees to father Melman's child; another present that's accompanied by a creepy note and a man who's watching her in the courtroom leads Taylor to suspect that she's being stalked; Markowitz confides to Benny that he damaged the house by firing his gun and then lied to Kelsey about the incident.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: Theresa Rebeck

  • Hello and Goodbye
    6.4/1024 votes
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    #12 - Hello and Goodbye

    Season 7 Episode 13 - Aired 2/18/1993

    A widow charges a news photographer with encouraging her late husband's suicide; Mullaney maintains a vigil by his father's hospital bed; and authorities are summoned to locate baby Lucy.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: Paul Manning

  • Rhyme and Punishment
    6.5/1029 votes
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    #13 - Rhyme and Punishment

    Season 8 Episode 9 - Aired 12/16/1993

    Mamie Van Doren is a guest at the firm's Christmas party; the son of an aging comic believes his father is being exploited by a mistress; Roxanne asks Mullaney to surrender parental rights.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: Julie Martin, William M. Finkelstein

  • Monkey on My Back Lot
    6.6/1027 votes
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    #14 - Monkey on My Back Lot

    Season 6 Episode 5 - Aired 11/14/1991

    A tenant at a housing project where guns have been banned sues for the right to defend himself; a recovering addict faces reproductive restrictions; McKenzie arbitrates a divorce between two animal trainers.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A

  • Cold Shower
    6.6/1024 votes
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    #15 - Cold Shower

    Season 7 Episode 16 - Aired 4/8/1993

    Taylor knows just what to say when Markowitz has a problem with a client who demands that the I.R.S. treat her with respect before she'll agree to settle her $800,000 debt; Mullaney's personal life affects his decision about whether a teenager who shot the classmate who bullied him should be prosecuted as a juvenile or as an adult; Rollins defends a man who claims that he was seduced and entrapped into selling stolen art work by an undercover cop; Mullaney and Melman part company when he realizes that he can't handle being either a husband or a father.

    Director: Win Phelps

    Writer: Anne Kenney

  • Book of Renovation, Chapter 1
    6.6/1031 votes
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    #16 - Book of Renovation, Chapter 1

    Season 8 Episode 1 - Aired 10/7/1993

    The partners begin to interview candidates for a new associate at the firm which is under interior renovation. Meanwhile, Stuart Markowitz's cousin Eli Levinson arrives in town from New York to defend Sandy Morris, the mentally ill son of some old friends who's accused of murdering a social worker. Eli's former secretary, Denise Iannello, arrives and asks Eli to give her a job as his secretary again. Kelsey represents another attorney suing her own firm for sexual discrimination. Also, Becker finds the new associate candidate, Jane Halliday, a Christian fundamentalist, irresistible, while Kelsey is wary about Halliday's presence.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A

  • Pacific Rimshot
    6.6/1032 votes
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    #17 - Pacific Rimshot

    Season 8 Episode 7 - Aired 11/18/1993

    Becker's car accident with his Bentley prompts a spate of anti-Asian sentiments, which in turn inspires the minority members of the firm who include Morales and Rollins. Meanwhile, the Glassman case reaches its conclusion as Rollins and Markowitz try to turn the jury against the US government. Eli handles the divorce of the wife of a marriage counseling guru reluctant to give up on the marriage or his wife's money. Also, Jinx helps Eli with his case while showing him the wonders of Los Angeles.

    Director: Charles Haid

    Writer: William M. Finkelstein

  • Something Old, Something Nude
    6.7/1036 votes
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    #18 - Something Old, Something Nude

    Season 6 Episode 1 - Aired 10/10/1991

    Facing financial woes, the firm is forced to share office space with an entertainment lawyer; Van Owen's high-profile client is charged with murdering her abusive husband.

    Director: Rick Wallace

    Writer: Patricia Green

  • My Friend Flicker
    6.7/1031 votes
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    #19 - My Friend Flicker

    Season 7 Episode 5 - Aired 11/19/1992

    Melman resigns as office manager and returns to working for Becker; McKenzie represents a friend in a reverse discrimination case; Markowitz struggles to overcome his fear of identifying his attackers; Melman asks Mullaney to father her child; Brackman begins his memoirs; studio mogul Ben Flicker takes Becker under his wing after Becker devises a creative financial approach to settling Flicker's daughter's divorce; Taylor's anonymous admirer continues to send her presents; Markowitz buys a gun for protection.

    Director: Jeffrey D. Brown

    Writer: N/A

  • Odor in the Court
    6.7/1028 votes
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    #20 - Odor in the Court

    Season 7 Episode 9 - Aired 1/7/1993

    Becker realizes why Flicker has kept Schuller on ice when they finally come face-to-face; Paros returns a favor to McKenzie by calling in a favor with the State's Attorney's office on the Osgood case; Brackman's playing with pheromones in an effort to revitalize his sex life gets him and the firm embroiled in two lawsuits; Morales represents a man suing the owners of a slaughterhouse who have set up business next to his weekend getaway home in the desert; Mullaney feels responsible for the mob violence that follows when he fails in his efforts to pull out all the stops in keeping a mentally ill man who murdered his wife from being released from a psychiatric facility; Gwen receives another package from her stalker.

    Director: Victor Lobl

    Writer: Paul Manning

  • Bare Witness
    6.7/1026 votes
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    #21 - Bare Witness

    Season 7 Episode 11 - Aired 2/4/1993

    Taylor is haunted by nightmares of Salerno; Brackman represents the owner of a gentleman's club charged with indecency by the city; Markowitz comes through on the stand against his attackers at the preliminary hearing; Salerno tricks an unwitting Stulwicz into aiding her campaign of terror against Taylor; Beatrice Schuller gains control of World Wide Studios, tap dances all over Flicker, and makes Becker an offer he can't refuse.

    Director: Oz Scott

    Writer: Julie Martin

  • Cold Cuts
    6.7/1035 votes
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    #22 - Cold Cuts

    Season 8 Episode 12 - Aired 2/17/1994

    Two mountaineers face charges after resorting to cannibalism; a mathematician adds up the consequences of divorce; and Denise lands in the middle of a father-son feud.

    Director: Elodie Keene

    Writer: Paul Manning, William M. Finkelstein

  • Lose the Boss
    6.8/1035 votes
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    #23 - Lose the Boss

    Season 6 Episode 7 - Aired 12/12/1991

    Brackman's former sister-in-law sues to get the school board to pay for her disabled son's private education; Bloom defends an overweight man accused of assaulting a refreshment-stand owner; an overworked Gwen fights Becker's hypocrisy.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A

  • Come Rain or Come Schein
    6.8/1028 votes
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    #24 - Come Rain or Come Schein

    Season 7 Episode 18 - Aired 4/22/1993

    Kelsey represents a TV weatherman suing for wrongful termination; Morales represents a laborer suing a racist couple who cheated him out of payment for work he did on their patio; Becker represents an agent who uses his ex-wife's desire for a religious divorce as leverage in their property settlement negotiations.

    Director: Tom Moore

    Writer: William M. Finkelstein

  • Safe Sex
    6.8/1027 votes
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    #25 - Safe Sex

    Season 8 Episode 6 - Aired 11/11/1993

    Becker urges that the firm employ a security consultant in constructing a ""safe room"" for the employees, then falls prey to the innovation when he and Denise get locked in it after hours. Meanwhile, Kelsey and Halliday square off against each other while they are representing Karl Bullon, a self-righteous department store employer being sued by an ex-employee for eavesdropping on her who was having an extra-marital affair with a co-worker, where Halliday learns a courtroom lesson while cross-examining a witness. Also, Rollins decides to represent Glassman and seeks out a former Black Panther member as a witness while he and Markowitz begin to argue about the politics reguarding the case.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: N/A