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The Worst Episodes of L.A. Law

Every episode of L.A. Law ranked from worst to best. Explore the Worst Episodes of L.A. Law!

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L.A. Law is an American television legal drama series that ran for eight seasons on NBC from September 15, 1986, to May 19, 1994. Created by Steven Bochco and Terry Louise Fisher, it contained many of

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  1. #1 Worst Episode
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    L.A. Law Season 1 Episode 2 - Those Lips, That Eye
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #1 - Those Lips, That Eye

    S1:E2

    Kuzak pursues a very attractive deputy district attorney, Grace Van Owen, even though she's engaged to marry the man managing her campaign for a seat on the bench; Perkins is beaten by her drunken husband after she files for divorce and sole custody of their son; Kelsey continues to clash with Brackman, as well as McKenzie, over the insurance case until her hardball tactics succeed in earning a windfall fee for the firm; Sifuentes comes to regret the plea agreement he negotiates for a man who took justice into his own hands after watching his son's killer freed on a technicality; Weston is infuriated when Becker sandbags her chance to be offered a position as an associate after he tires of their affair; Markowitz courts a hesitant Kelsey; feeling passed over for promotion by Sifuentes's hiring, Taylor quits; Perkins becomes the default winner of an associate position; Chaney's will brings out the beast in Brackman.

    Director:Gregory Hoblit
    Writers:Steven Bochco, Terry Louise Fisher

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  2. L.A. Law Season 1 Episode 3 - The House of the Rising Flan
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #2 - The House of the Rising Flan

    S1:E3

    Sifuentes is outraged when he learns that the motive behind an invitation to dinner at the Brackman house was to enlist his aid in perpetrating an immigration fraud; Kuzak continues to pursue Van Owen; Perkins is devastated when her ex-husband kidnaps their son, and quickly becomes frantic when it appears that the police cannot help her find him; Kuzak discovers that his client's suit against an amusement park for injuries his son suffered is based on a fraudulent claim; Markowitz fears that he will lose his job when he declines to run a scam on an alcoholic I.R.S. agent to mitigate his client's tax bill, but luck is on his side when the adverse I.R.S. ruling turns into a financial coup after his client's wife sues for divorce.

    Director:Unknown
    Writers:Steven Bochco, Terry Louise Fisher

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  3. L.A. Law Season 1 Episode 4 - The Princess and the Wiener King
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #3 - The Princess and the Wiener King

    S1:E4

    McKenzie's disappointment in the greedy law school students whose class he addresses leads him to offer a clerkship to a student who appears to be more socially responsible; in defending a young teenager who murdered her abusive brother, Sifuentes suspects that the abuse may have begun with the girl's father; Kelsey forces Perkins to realize that she may never see Eric again; Van Owen is furious when she discovers that Kuzak has arranged a lunch date with her fiance to scope out his competition; Kelsey finds out about Markowitz's secret life; McKenzie suggests a course of action after Hubbard expresses her frustration with their business and personal relationship; a lovesick Lewis fights to keep his princess, despite Becker's advice; Van Owen pays Kuzak a late night visit and reveals her true feelings.

    Director:Sharron Miller
    Writer:Unknown

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  4. L.A. Law Season 1 Episode 5 - Simian Chanted Evening
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #4 - Simian Chanted Evening

    S1:E5

    Kuzak fights for his terminally ill client's right to be cryogenically preserved after death; Becker whets his appetite for entertainment law when he brokers an extremely favorable divorce settlement for his movie producer client; Markowitz and Kelsey are offered partnerships in the firm; Melman takes Becker to task over his romantic entanglements with clients; Kelsey represents a man fighting to keep his toy company from being taken over by a corporate giant; refusing to give up on the woman he loves, Kuzak goes ape and disrupts Van Owen's wedding.

    Director:Rick Wallace
    Writers:Steven Bochco, Terry Louise Fisher

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  5. L.A. Law Season 1 Episode 6 - Slum Enchanted Evening
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #5 - Slum Enchanted Evening

    S1:E6

    Van Owen faces hairy jokes from her colleagues and the anger of her ex-fiance after bailing out on her wedding; Kuzak represents a television news anchor suing for sex discrimination and wrongful termination when her employer fires her after having second thoughts about the series of reports on her breast cancer surgery that they assigned her to produce; Sullivan is busted for dealing drugs out of the office; Taylor successfully represents a tenant's association suing Brackman for being a slumlord, and gives his former boss a taste of his own medicine when Brackman threatens to prolong the case with a series of appeals to avoid paying the judgment levied against him; Hubbard applies to law school; Kelsey does business with a very agreeable banker offering excellent terms on her partnership buy-in loan; Brackman faces a stunning and humiliating defeat when he foolishly decides to take on McKenzie in the partners' meeting.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  6. L.A. Law Season 1 Episode 7 - Raiders of the Lost Bark
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #6 - Raiders of the Lost Bark

    S1:E7

    Kuzak slyly sticks Sifuentes with a dog of a case, but it's Sifuentes who's sitting pretty after he discovers the teeth in the matter, and pulls out an unexpected win; Abby rebuffs an admirer; Becker's gamble on the Mishkin fee agreement pays off financially but dooms the relationship; after Kuzak wins the discrimination case, he discovers that his client had an ulterior motive for not accepting a generous settlement offer; Brackman takes a new approach to life and dealing with people in the wake of his double barreled defeats in the court room and the partners' meeting; Becker is oblivious to Melman's feelings for him.

    Director:Jan Eliasberg
    Writer:David E. Kelley

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  7. L.A. Law Season 1 Episode 8 - Gibbon Take
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #7 - Gibbon Take

    S1:E8

    Van Owen's ex-fiance gets his revenge by humiliating her during a campaign appearance, thus sabotaging her race for the bench; when Kelsey shakes a trust's money tree to benefit the homeless, she also creates a windfall for the firm and herself; an ugly divorce case hits too close to home when Abby tries her hand at marital law; Sifuentes adds to his chair collection as he settles a slander case against a prosecutor who took losing the Sullivan drug case on a technicality too personally and too publicly; Van Owen experiences an extremely embarrassing case of mistaken simian identity.

    Director:Sharron Miller
    Writer:John Schulian

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  8. L.A. Law Season 1 Episode 9 - The Venus Butterfly
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #8 - The Venus Butterfly

    S1:E9

    Becker, Markowitz and Kelsey bicker over who will inherit Chaney's office; Van Owen prosecutes a man charged with the mercy killing of his terminally ill lover; to Kelsey's undying gratitude, Markowitz learns the secret of a serial bigamist's success with women as Becker and Markowitz represent the man's eleven wives in their divorce actions; Abby is devastated when a dead boy matching Eric's description is mistakenly cremated before he can be identified.

    Director:Donald Petrie
    Writers:Steven Bochco, Terry Louise Fisher

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  9. L.A. Law Season 1 Episode 10 - Fry Me to the Moon
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #9 - Fry Me to the Moon

    S1:E10

    Kuzak gets nightmares over handling an appeal for a man sentenced to death; Van Owen helps Gilliam get a reprieve for Appleton; Melman comforts Becker when his parents try to put him in the middle of their divorce dispute; Sifuentes resigns after McKenzie sandbags his representation of a woman who could potentially embarrass one of McKenzie's clients; Perkins rescues a stray dog who wins over Brackman's heart; Van Owen intercedes for an inebriated Kuzak who's about to be arrested for disrespecting the police.

    Director:Janet Greek
    Writer:David E. Kelley

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  10. L.A. Law Season 1 Episode 11 - El Sid
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #10 - El Sid

    S1:E11

    An increasingly unstable Hershberg asks Kuzak to take over the case of a woman who shot a police officer; Rogoff reassigns Van Owen to night court as punishment for helping Appleton; Perkins makes a deal with the devil to have her son returned to her safely; things get heated in another court when the men of McKenzie, Brackman engage in a contentious basketball game with a rival firm; Markowitz redecorates Chaney's office and gives it to Kelsey as a Christmas present; after McKenzie apologizes, Sifuentes agrees to return to the firm.

    Director:Allan Arkush
    Writer:David E. Kelley

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  11. L.A. Law Season 1 Episode 13 - Prince Kuzak in a Can
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #11 - Prince Kuzak in a Can

    S1:E13

    Overburdened with Hershberg's caseload, and haunted with guilt over his death, Kuzak snaps at his colleagues, pays a heavy price for the way he handles a manslaughter case, and ruins Van Owen's plans for the weekend; Sifuentes's whiz kid client develops a crush on Melman as he fixes the firm's malfunctioning telephone system; Kelsey wins a major account for the firm and faces a jealous Markowitz, who correctly guesses that the client has more than a professional interest in his new attorney; after initially spurning Sifuentes's offer to help with Hershberg's caseload, Kuzak finally enlists his aid, allowing Sifuentes to talk the judge and prosecutor into a sweetheart deal for the client.

    Director:Rick Wallace
    Writer:David E. Kelley

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  12. L.A. Law Season 1 Episode 14 - The Douglas Fur Ball
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #12 - The Douglas Fur Ball

    S1:E14

    McKenzie gets Kuzak sprung from jail; after Brackman's wife discovers his infidelity and serves him with divorce papers, he begs her to take him back when he discovers that she's represented by Lisa Weston, who intends to go after a share of the partnership's profits in the settlement; Sifuentes confronts a judge after Putnam's computer analysis uncovers a racist bent to the jurist's sentencing determinations; Markowitz's jealousy prompts him to keep too close an eye on Kelsey's relationship with Cromwell, which creates friction between the attorneys; McKenzie represents a jurist friend who is arrested after taking desperate measures to resolve a deteriorating financial situation when the firm declines to offer him the partnership he seeks; Melman goes out to dinner with Putnam; Weston has it out with Becker over his mistreatment of her and discovers to her discomfort how much they have in common.

    Director:Donald Petrie
    Writer:William M. Finkelstein

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  13. L.A. Law Season 1 Episode 15 - December Bribe
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #13 - December Bribe

    S1:E15

    The partners consider whether they should merge with a large New York firm; Kuzak and Van Owen bemoan the scheduling difficulties that keep them apart; McKenzie negotiates a sweetheart deal for Hood with the district attorney's office and the ethics board, but runs into opposition from his headstrong client; Perkins hits rough seas as she represents an outspoken grandmother in her maiden voyage in court; Kelsey angers Cromwell when she spurns his romantic advances and reaffirms her feelings for Markowitz; Becker gets his dream house by convincing a divorcing couple to reconcile and then lease him the house that's been the source of contention in their marriage.

    Director:Janet Greek
    Writer:Unknown

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  14. L.A. Law Season 1 Episode 16 - Beef Jerky
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #14 - Beef Jerky

    S1:E16

    Van Owen prosecutes a case of seminal importance; Becker comes to regret pushing a client beyond her limits after confronting her with her husband's infidelity despite her protests; in civil court, Sifuentes and Perkins represent a family nearly destroyed by the death of a child in a car accident; when Perkins can't find an eligible escort for her cousin's wedding, Van Owen fixes her up with Handleman, who eagerly agrees to the date.

    Director:Helaine Head
    Writer:David E. Kelley

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  15. L.A. Law Season 1 Episode 17 - Becker on the Rox
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #15 - Becker on the Rox

    S1:E17

    When a pharmaceutical firm employs a jury consulting firm to assist him in a product liability suit, Kuzak becomes engaged in a contest of style over substance until he enlists Sifuentes's help in showing the client the error of not settling the case out of court; Melman and Becker come to a parting of the ways over her demand for a substantive raise; Sifuentes encourages Perkins to get back into the court room and represent a disabled man who may be incapable of forming the requisite criminal intent to commit the crime of which he is accused; Markowitz takes issue with Kelsey over the state of her finances when he agrees to do her tax returns, and makes a proposal that will improve both her cash flow and their relationship. Abby tests courtroom waters again as she defends the retarded Benny Stulwicz against robbery charges.

    Director:Rick Wallace
    Writer:William M. Finkelstein

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  16. L.A. Law Season 1 Episode 18 - Fifty Ways to Floss Your Lover
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #16 - Fifty Ways to Floss Your Lover

    S1:E18

    Becker is enthralled by the beautiful, but somewhat incompetent, secretary who's temping while Melman is on jury duty until he discovers that their relationship will never be anything but professional; Van Owen contemplates buying a gun after a gangbanger shoots her in the court house hallway in retaliation for her winning a death penalty case against a member of the shooter's gang; Melman stands up to a bully in the deliberation room and turns the tide of the verdict towards justice; Sifuentes hits it off with his new dentist and agrees to represent her in a malpractice suit, but their romance is doomed when she can't leave her work at the office; realizing that he can't survive professionally if Melman quits, Becker finally capitulates to her salary demands.

    Director:Mimi Leder
    Writer:David E. Kelley

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  17. L.A. Law Season 1 Episode 20 - Sparky Brackman, R.I.P.
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #17 - Sparky Brackman, R.I.P.

    S1:E20

    Kuzak faces a tough opponent in civil court when he represents a college student suing for damages after being raped; the ongoing conflict between Brackman and his litigious neighbor escalates after Perkins successfully represents Brackman in a nuisance suit over Sparky's behavior, leading to Sparky's demise and Brackman's arrest for assaulting his neighbor; Kelsey and Markowitz come into conflict when she gets a temporary case of cold feet about selling her condo; Becker continues to disparage Melman's relationship with Shacter.

    Director:Paul Schneider
    Writer:David E. Kelley

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  18. L.A. Law Season 1 Episode 21 - Oy Vey! Wilderness!
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #18 - Oy Vey! Wilderness!

    S1:E21

    Markowitz and Kuzak join forces to help a fisherman when the IRS confiscates his boat in a tax dispute; Sifuentes convinces Feldman to drop criminal assault charges against Brackman, but Kerris chokes on the deal; when Kuzak gives her an ultimatum after her substance abuse nearly gets her killed, Van Owen takes a leave of absence to deal with her recent trauma; Becker gets manipulated by a young model; McKenzie falls ill and requires surgery, the nature of which he refuses to indulge; Shacter takes Melman to Hawaii; Kelsey regrets convincing Markowitz to go backpacking when their trek through the hills gets disastrously under her skin.

    Directors:Win Phelps, Mimi Leder
    Writer:William M. Finkelstein

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  19. L.A. Law Season 1 Episode 22 - Pigmalion
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #19 - Pigmalion

    S1:E22

    Becker represents the wife of a children's television show host who sues her husband for divorce after catching him in bed with an unlikely partner; Brackman and Kerris finally settle their differences; Sifuentes begins to doubt his client's innocence in the death of her new baby after he sees her lash out in anger at her first child; Kuzak finally gets the IRS to admit their error in the Messer case, and then puts his money where his mouth is when the bank forecloses on the boat; Brackman pressures Becker to conclude the prenup negotiations for an influential client; McKenzie finally reveals the nature of his minor surgery; Kelsey and Markowitz become engaged and run off to Las Vegas for a quickie wedding, but the Elvis-impersonator minister at the wedding chapel sends them fleeing back to Los Angeles doubled over in laughter before they tie the knot; a healed and sober Van Owen returns home to Kuzak.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:David E. Kelley

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  20. L.A. Law Season 2 Episode 1 - The Lung Goodbye
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #20 - The Lung Goodbye

    S2:E1

    Kuzak takes a personal interest in representing a terminally ill smoker suing a tobacco company; Sifuentes's bad luck with women continues; Kelsey and Markowitz unsuccessfully seek out professional help to end their communication problems; Becker cozies up to his client's ex-wife to reach a divorce settlement; Sifuentes does the right thing when he turns over information that frees the man convicted of vandalizing his new car.

    Director:John Pasquin
    Writer:Unknown

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  21. L.A. Law Season 2 Episode 2 - The Wizard of Odds
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #21 - The Wizard of Odds

    S2:E2

    Brackman begins to get carried away over his judicial appointment until an insulting parrot puts him in his place; Kelsey successfully represents a psychiatrist being sued in civil court for not preventing the murder of one patient by another, and is horrified when her client later confesses to the crime to prevent her from pursuing her suspicions that the wrong man was convicted of the crime; Markowitz covers for Gianelli, protecting him from Brackman's wrath; a wealthy woman wins an evening with Becker in a bachelor charity auction, and intends to get her money's worth; McKenzie hires hotshot young attorney Jonathan Rollins over Brackman's reservations that meeting Rollins's salary demands will cause trouble with the other associates; Sifuentes faces an opponent skilled in manipulating the jury's guilt with ethically questionable antics when they go head to head in a product liability case.

    Director:Gregory Hoblit
    Writer:David E. Kelley

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  22. L.A. Law Season 2 Episode 3 - Cannon of Ethics
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #22 - Cannon of Ethics

    S2:E3

    Kelsey seeks the advice of outside counsel, Kuzak's former mentor Wendell Gleason, in resolving her ethical dilemma about Dr. Warren's guilt, but is none too appreciative when Gleason's terminal illness allows him to accomplish what she cannot; Becker's ardor for Hollander turns to ice when she starts discussing marriage; after the jury hands Sifuentes a defeat in the product liability case, the judge threatens to reverse the finding, prompting the attorneys to reach a settlement, as well as a new-found respect for each other's abilities; Perkins solves a problem for a dying Mrs. Stulwicz as well as the firm when she convinces Brackman to hire Benny Stulwicz as the firm's messenger; Kelsey and Markowitz come into conflict after she takes Brackman on for suggesting that Markowitz resign before the wedding; in commiserating with Gianelli when he feels compelled to join his family's business after failing the bar exam, Perkins jumps to a completely erroneous conclusion about the exact nat

    Director:John Patterson
    Writer:Unknown

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  23. L.A. Law Season 2 Episode 4 - Brackman Vasektimized
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #23 - Brackman Vasektimized

    S2:E4

    Kelsey forces a client to clean up his act after she discovers that his company is knowingly dumping carcinogens into a local water supply; the jealousy bug takes a big bite out of Van Owen when Kuzak's ex-wife comes back into his life; Kleinberg's disgust over her obnoxious and ungrateful client doesn't keep her from winning the case, but is enough to make her quit; Brackman falls for the charms of his seductive bailiff; after getting Kleinberg to edit out some things in her novel that hit a little too close to home, Becker brokers a publishing deal for her in exchange for a percentage, and a few extras; Perkins finds out how much money Rollins is making and tells Sifuentes, who manages to negotiate a raise, while Perkins is left out in the cold and wondering if her job is in jeopardy.

    Director:Anson Williams
    Writer:Robert Cochran

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  24. L.A. Law Season 2 Episode 5 - The Brothers Grimm
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #24 - The Brothers Grimm

    S2:E5

    Sifuentes represents a traumatized woman suing a cop for not intervening as he witnessed her rape, and her boyfriend's murder, during an armed robbery in a bar; Markowitz's request for a prenup backfires on him badly; when an old case resurfaces, Brackman discovers his father's secret life, complete with a mistress and another son; members of the firm support Stulwicz when his mother dies; over Kuzak's strong objections, Van Owen meets with Palmer and then decides to move back to her house; Perkins and Kelsey patch up their differences.

    Director:Michael Zinberg
    Writer:William M. Finkelstein

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  25. L.A. Law Season 2 Episode 7 - Rohner vs. Gradinger
    0.0/10(0 votes)

    #25 - Rohner vs. Gradinger

    S2:E7

    Rollins does an end run around Markowitz and McKenzie to retain a client, much to their displeasure; Sifuentes meets an attractive divorcee; Kelsey's misgivings about her mother's visit prove well-founded when Markowitz loses his composure in public over his future mother-in-law's incessant bigotry; over Brackman's objections, Perkins pursues mediation instead of litigation as a strategy for resolving a dispute between former friends and business partners, and fears for her future at the firm when the mediation ends badly; Kuzak defends an arrogant and addicted celebrity charged with possession and assault; Vasek is initially understanding when Brackman ends their relationship in the face of his brother's blackmail, but becomes livid when he ruins her career to cement the breakup.

    Director:Sharron Miller
    Writers:William M. Finkelstein, David E. Kelley

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Worst Episodes Summary

"Those Lips, That Eye" is the worst rated episode of "L.A. Law". It scored /10 based on 0 votes. Directed by Gregory Hoblit and written by Steven Bochco, Terry Louise Fisher, it aired on 10/3/1986. This episode scored 0.0 points lower than the second lowest rated, "The House of the Rising Flan".