Dave chats with Stephanie about a (supposed) incident that occurred over the weekend; Alan makes a suggestive offer to Secretary of Labor Elaine L. Chao; Al Franken promotes his new book.

Kings of Leon perform their breakthrough hit, "Molly's Chambers."

Biff searches for celebrities on the street; recently retired General Tommy Franks looks back at his illustrious military career.

"CBS Mailbag," including Stephanie dressed as Batman, "CBS Vice President of Late Night Programming Vinnie Favale," and "George W. Bush" (Gerard).

Paul's "Stump the Band" losing streak continues; Whoopi Goldberg promotes her new sitcom.

Dave welcomes 2003 U.S. Open Men's Tennis Champion Andy Roddick and actor Jack Black. Dave remembers the late Warren Zevon with the Show #1895 tape of Warren singing "Mutineer" on October 30, 2002; Paul and the band play Warren Zevon bumper music throughout the show.

Rick Derringer sits in with the band; a woman from Staten Island participates in "May We See Your Digital Photos, Please?"; Chris Elliott comments on current events.

An opera singer performs in the hallway; the recently deceased Charles Bronson declares his candidacy for Governor of California; Dave and Sharon Stone make out.

Steph/Monty dresses up as Don Mattingly for CBS Mailbag; she closes the segment by playing catch with Dave.

Dave has a major announcement to make; Cuba Gooding, Jr. promotes The Fighting Temptations; Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel sing "America" and "The Boxer."

Miss America 2004 Ericka Dunlap presents the Top Ten List; Dave tells the story of his weekend encounter with a bear at his house in Montana; Dr. Phil gives Dave some parenting tips.

Ben Stiller talks about his new movie, Duplex; Elvis Costello performs a song from his new CD, North.

Cold opening: The Rock shows Lynne Cheney how to apply a "chicken wing" to Paul; New York Giants kicker Matt Bryant attempts rooftop field goals across 53rd Street.

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Stephanie is Peter Pan for "CBS Mailbag;" "Joey Pants" promotes "The Handler;" Kevin Nealon; Outkast sings "Hey Ya."

Paul asks "Survivor 7" castaway Ryan "Skinny" Shoulders (who is wearing a Rage Against The Machine t-shirt) if he digs Audioslave; Denzel Washington promotes Out of Time; The New York Philharmonic performs "The Marriage of Figaro" atop the roof of the Ed Sullivan Theatre building.

It's time for "How Many Guys in Gorilla Suits Can Fit Into a Eyeglass Store?" Quote Dave: "I was going to buy a pair of eyeglasses, but the optical store was full of gorillas."

The latest role call reveals that Michele O'Callaghan's five-month-old daughter (named "Zoogie") picks Dave's ties; Dave and Paul are dumbfounded by a pitching machine in a new game called "What Is It?"; Tim Robbins plugs "Mystic River"; Pat Farmer destroys the pitching machine.

Steph/Monty dresses as a letter carrier for "Know Your Current Events;" R.E.M. performs "Bad Day."

During CBS Mailbag, Alan dresses up as Saddam Hussein for his new hidden-camera show "Goof'd!" and gets beat up by several people on the street. Later, Robin Williams comments on the Tour de France.

Jessica Simpson mentions that she was on Oprah recently, much to Dave's chagrin; fill-in bandleader Todd Rundgren sings "Hello It's Me;" Pat Farmer drops 20,000 ping-pong balls from the roof.

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Dave calls ousted California governor Gray Davis "a wanker;" Gary Coleman presents the Top Ten via satellite, then falls asleep; Tom Dressen talks baseball.

A man from Charlotte, North Carolina plays "Know Your 2003 Boston Red Sox;" ten Hooters Girls present the Top Ten; George Clooney plugs Intolerable Cruelty.

During CBS Mailbag, Alan has an awkward reunion with the first girl that ever kissed him, and "Ah-nuld" (Gerard) has an enlightened conversation with Dave. Later, Charlie Sheen promotes "Two and a Half Men."