Dave points out that CBS is airng stock footage of a guy wresting an ostrich to compete with NBC's Olympic coverage; director Chris Kentis promotes Open Water; ""Still Standing"" star Renee Olstead performs a scorching rendition of ""Is You Is or Is You Ain't My Baby.""

Dave has difficulty explaining to Paul what exactly animal photographer Sam Easterson does; Dave shows another out-of-focus clip from the Olympics; Denis Leary promotes the FX hit drama ""Rescue Me.""

""CBS Mailbag"" features Dave getting friendly with U.S. Olympic volleyball stars Kerri Walsh & Misty May (bogus), Alan Kalter's ""You're Busted"" at Ranch 1, and New Jersey going ""Gay Crazy;"" gold medalist Paul Hamm visits.

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A man from Pennsylvania turns himself into a human jack o'lantern on ""Audience Show & Tell;"" ten U.S. Olympians present the Top Ten; political writer Maureen Dowd makes several alarming comments on the presidential election.

Osama bin Laden announces that he wants to replace Craig Kilborn as host of the Late Late Show; Dave celebrates 11 years at CBS with a timeline; Biff reports from the Republican National Convention, with a goal to hug as many ""Republican Babes"" as possible.

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Jane Pauley promotes her new book, talk show, and bipolar disorder.

Dave brags about working on Labor Day; like it does every year, a runaway taxi ruins the staff Labor Day barbecue (and runs over Alan); three National Hollerin' Champions do their thing; Neve Campbell; Keane performs ""Somewhere Only We Know.""

At Hello Deli: Rupert selects a contestant to play the ""Late Show Heart Bypass Scramble;"" Regis promotes his new standards CD; Alan recaps his summer, with the usual results; Hoobastank performs ""Same Direction.""

""CBS Mailbag"" introduces Rupert's new ""girlfriend,"" answers the question, ""Does Dave ever sing?"" and features Alan's message to Hillary Clinton; Martin Short; ""Late Show Back to School Tips;"" Alan Jackson sings.

Biff spends the day at New York-Presbyterian Hospital with Dr. Lou Arrone; an educational segment with Alan and an animated rodent goes awry; Ray Romano talks about the final season of ""Everybody Loves Raymond;"" Avril Lavigne performs ""My Happy Ending.""

Dave and Drew Barrymore discuss their long-dormant drinking problems; amputee Aron Ralston returns to the show to promote his new book.

Dave comments on the CBS News scandal; John Kerry performs the Top Ten and gets grilled by Dave; Green Day performs ""American Idiot.""

Stand-ins for Dave and Dr. Phil stand in the gallows; in honor of a recent stunt on Oprah, everyone in the audience gets an automobile air freshener; Alan unintentionally admits that he's sexual dysfunctional.

Nobel prize winner Professor Robert A. Mundell reads aloud from Paris Hilton's book; Kelly Ripa; poker champion Annie Duke; Elvis Costello & the Imposters perform.

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As it does every season, Alan's hair changes colors; Dave comments on Conan O'Brien's promotion to hosting The Tonight Show in 2009, then openly asks if he can go back to NBC to host Late Night; a Kodomo Dragon (courtesy of Jack Hanna) startles Dave.

Dave mentions Paul's line of handbags again, while John Goodman promotes ""Father of the Pride"" and ""Center of the Universe.""

Live via satellite, Rupert plays bingo; Dave shows a photo of Harry shaking hands with one of the Stangel brothers; Tony ruins the ending of another movie En Espanol, then goes off on one of his trademark rants.

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CBS Mailbag: Dave shows an ad for Martha Stewart's farewell show, then has a heart-to-heart with ""Pete Rose"" (Gerard); magician Jason Randal dazzles Dave with some card tricks.