Vint brings home a new electric blanket he received for signing up for a life insurance policy.  A few minutes later, his insurance agent arrives for him to sign the papers, and as it turns out it's an old boyfriend of Naomi's, Stony Hall. Stony explains that the policy is worth $200,000 in case of accidental death and much to Mama's dismay, Vint announces that Naomi is his sole beneficiary.

Following the announcment, Vint starts having accidents. First, he almost electrocutes himself while working on Naomi's hair dryer (while it's still plugged in) and then falls down the basement stairs, slipping on a bottle of Naomi's nail polish and spraining his ankle in the process.  This gives Iola the idea that Naomi is trying to bump Vint off for the money.  She becomes convinced, as does Mama, after Bubba spies Naomi and Stony eating at a Chinese restaurant with the insurance policy in hand.

The Best Policy

Vicki Lawrence

Ken Berry

Dorothy Lyman

Beverly Archer

Allan Kayser

After the Fall

Fangs a Lot, Mama

Mama finds Frannie's diary when she goes to get Bubba for breakfast. Inside is a note telling Mama to call the executor of her will, Larwin P. Finstadler. When Mr. Finstadler arrives he informs Mama that Fran was worth $35,000. Fran's will stipulated 10% of that would go to the ""Ray of Hope Home for Wayward Girls"". But the other $31,500 was to be split evenly between Mama, and Vint and Naomi. Only one stipulation stands between Mama and the money, she has to keep from losing her temper for a period of two weeks and it's totally on her honor.

So for the next two weeks Vint and Naomi wait on her hand and foot, trying to keep her from getting upset. Including paying Bubba $10 to do his homework and doing the dishes and most of the other housework. While they begin to bicker among themselves, Mama relaxes and takes it easy.

Farewell, Frannie

The family is in the middle of a game of scrabble when Ellen stops by with a gift for Mama and to attempt to once again apologize for missing her Aunt Fran's funeral. Mama refuses to forgive her and throws her out. Later, Naomi comes in and says she heard that Ellen was in the hospital about to under go surgery. With that, Mama drags the rest of the family to the hospital to visit her.

The visit soon turns very uncomfortable for Ellen as Mama begins yelling at the family for one and then another. Not able to stand it any longer, Ellen calls for the nurse and orders her to throw the family out and post an armed guard at the door. Mama finally sends everyone home, but sneaks back in herself and stays with Ellen through the night.

Mama and Ellen soon forgive one another for all the years of fighting and Ellen finally reveals to Mama why she is the hospital in the first place, she's having a fanny tuck.

Where There's a Will

Mama is the editor of the years church bazaar cookbook, in it she plans to use her own recipe for Chili. Iola objects thinking it should be hers that Mama uses. Soon Naomi too throws her hat in the ring, saying she makes the best Chili. So the three decide to have to a chili cook-off with the winner getting her recipe in the cookbook. Vint, being stuck in the middle of this brewing argument, is choosen, against his will, as the judge of the contest.

All three have identical supplies, with Mama and Iola also have identical ingredients. While Naomi's chili is far different from the other two as it includes two giant cans of store bought chili, plus beer, cheetos and several other items not usually associated with chili. Each bringing back a certain memory from one of her ex-husbands or boyfriends.

Each bowl is lettered as the contest begins and Vint decides the 'B' bowl is the best, which belongs to Iola, and she runs home to show her father and dare her mother to throw it out again.

Best Medicine

When Mama's dreams start providing the names of winning horses, the family figures they're in the money.

National Mama

Mama's sister, Frannie, has just passed away, and even if she can't bring herself to tell how Frannie actually died (it was by inhaling a tooth pick in the ladies room at the Bigger Jigger). Mama is never the less determined to give her late sister something she never had, a ""perfect day"". But things soon turn from perfect to terrible as one disaster after another strikes.

First Mama finds out Don and Loraine won't be there and ofcourse Buzz and Sonya won't either (for unexplained reasons) and Ed and Eunice have moved to Florida (a blessing). Then Ellen calls and says she's got something more pressing business and can't make it either. Later, as the the family gets home from the funeral, we find out Vint forgot to shut the hearse door, resulting in the coffin flying out of the hearse and down the on-ramp to the free way.

Soup to Nuts

In this Thanksgiving episode, Mama, Bubba, Vinton, Naomi, Iola, and Aunt Effie (Dorothy Van) all go for cover in the basement when an unexpected tornado passes by Raytown.

Mama and Dr. Brothers

Iola is distraught when her cat Midnight dies,although everyone else is thankful,noting that the cat was as mean as a rattlesnake. But Iola refuses to let go and nothing can console her---until she decides to have it freeze-dried.She goes all out and buys a model that meows when you pet it.She leaves it with Mama for a while and Mama takes it out to the front porch and leaves it.

That's where Vint falls on it as he, Naomi and Bubba are bringing in a trunk they just bought from the police surplus. Thinking they killed the cat, they bury it,and go into to open the trunk.Which has a hole on the side of it and is the home of a Mama cat and her kittens.One of which looks just like Iola's former pet who adopts it immediately.

Cat's Meow

Naomi is giving Bubba and Vint a love test to see how romantic they are,from the latest issue Lady's Circle.As it turns out Vint is a ""cold fish"" and Bubba is a ""Red Hot Romeo"". Vint decides to try and be more romantic and gets Bubba to.write a romantic letter to Naomi

The Love Letter

The Harpers, Iola and  Aunt Effie must go.for cover in the basement when a tornado passes through Raytown on Thanksgiving.

An Ill Wind

Bubba wants to borrow $200 to buy a new drum set, while Iola's upset that she can't get her jewelry box open to put her pearls away, so she brings the box over for Vint to open. When he can't, Bubba quickly borrows a bobby pin and opens it easily. Iola heads home only to return a few minutes later in search of her beloved pearls, which have mysteriously disappeared.

Iola is quick to accuse Bubba, who comes in with a brand new drum set, claiming he borrowed them from a friend of a friend who's name he forgets. Pretneding to defend Bubba, Mama throws Iola out. Now convinced, she too accuses Bubba. Feeling betrayed by his own family Bubba attempts to run away from home.

She finds him at the ""Rayhound"" station and tells him the story of what happened when Eunice tried ran away.

Steal One, Pearl Two

Thelma invites Reverend Meecham to dinner in the hopes of being named the president of the Church Ladies League. However, a surprise visitor of Hubby's throws a hitch into her plans.

Where There's Smoke

Unhappy with the rut she's gotten into, Naomi decides to make a change and arrives home with the news that, after seeing an ad in the paper, she's decided to attend school to train as a flight attendant. Vint gets upset because she didn't ask him first. While, Bubba joins the debate team to be near a girl he likes.

Naomi aces her first exam, which only serves to make Vint more upset. With a growing rift between Vint and Naomi, Iola tries to make her move and asks Vint to have ice cream with her one night. What Vint views as innocent, Mama see clearly as Iola trying to get her claws into Vint and tells him so in no uncertain terms.

Naomi tries to get everyone in the family to help her train for that night's big test, but the only one who will is Mama.

Fly Naomi

Vinton is chosen to play Santa @ the Raytown Mall.  However, with too much practice, he loses his voice!  So Mama fills in the last second as Santa Claus.  She deals with many brats, but was touched by a little girl who wanted tools for her unemployed daddy.

Mama's also upset that her star's missing (the one her husband made for her on their 1st Christmas).

Santa Mama

Mama and Naomi's plan to find a date for Iola backfires when the date is more interested in Mama.

Desperately Seeking Anyone

Mama is appalled when she finds a girlie magazine named Casanova under Bubba's bed while cleaning. She firsts wants to know were Bubba could get such a magazine. It soon comes out that Naomi, who wasn't paying much attention, sold it to him a few days before at Food Circus. Thinking something needs to be done, Iola has the idea to boycott Food Circus until they stop selling magazine's like that.

Iola, Mama, Aunt Effie and Pearl form MOP (Mothers Opposing Pornography), and set out to picket in front of Food Circus, much to the dismay of Naomi. Who insists they go home. First Pearl breaks ranks for a tuna offer and then Effie needs to use the bathroom, and finally Iola leaves when the store offers Triple Coupons. Just as it seems all hope is lost, the media arrives and they end up getting on the National news.

Porn Again

An anonymous letter convinces Vint that he's adopted, so he sets out to find his biological mother.

Have it Mama's Way

Birthright

Mama is surprised to learn she was entered in the Grandma USA contest by Bubba. She is at first reluctant to compete, but changes her mind when she finds out the grand prize is a dream kitchen, complete with a self cleaning oven. Vint then starts to wonder why they would select Mama over all the other entries, Bubba says it's because he sent in Naomi's picture instead of Mama's.

A fact this is only discovered after they are greeted by the host, Raytown personality Eddie Edwards, and he thinks Naomi is entering. After considering his options, Edwards agrees to let Mama compete instead, thinking it might be a novelty to have someone in the pageant who really looks like a Grandma.

Grandma USA

Vint's former Army Sergeant comes to town and recruits Bubba, who enlists after his girlfriend breaks up with him.

Buck Private Bubba

Mama's worldly cousin (Vicki Lawrence in a dual role) annoys Mama with her neverending stories.

Mama's Cousin

Mama emerges as a contender in an arm-wrestling competition.

Mama with the Golden Arm

Naomi's best friend Luann has just been divorced and Naomi wants to set her up with a friend of her's for a double date with her and Vint to play miniature golf. But before Luann ever arrives, her date calls to say he can't make it. Naomi then suggests Bubba could be a last minute stand-in. Mama nearly goes through the roof and says no. Not wanting Bubba to associate with the likes of Luann.

After a lengthy discussion, Mama gives in and let's Bubba decide for himself, while trying to lay a guilt trip on him.

It Takes Two to Watusi

After Vint is invited to join the Mystic Order of the Cobra, a local men's club, Mama attempts to sabotage his induction.

Mama brings Auntie Effie home to nurse her back to health after she falls off the roof of her house while.trying to reshuffle it.

Thelma Harper and her spinster sister Fran open their home to Thelma's recently divorced son Vinton and his teenage son and daughter. It's quite an adjustment for everyone, especially the cranky, argumentative Thelma.

The Best Policy

Seasons6

Season 3 Episodes25

Cast5

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