Michael contends with multiple problems, including a positive pregnancy test, a sad six-year-old and Jr's basketball troubles.

Jay visits her mom while Michael starts telling Kady the "story" of her birth. Meanwhile Claire's friend Charmaine is pregnant.

Michael decides to let the kids live a rule-free life, but on the condition that they do everything for themselves; including cooking and paying for their own phone calls.

Fed up with Michael's parenting style, the children confront their father with a description of the ideal dad.

When Jay returns, Michael remains silent about her obvious weight gain. The episode builds to a dream sequence, in which Janet has a nightmare and the entire family is morbidly obese after Michael decides to grow big with her.

Michael has problems in the bathroom and needs to have a colonoscopy; he has a dream that his doctor is singer Lou Rawls. Lou Rawls guest stars in an episode that takes a lighthearted but informative look at a serious problem: colon cancer. It's especially acute among African-Americans over 40 - and guess who's 40?

Michael looks to teach Claire a lesson after she sneaks out of the house and uses Kady as an accomplice.

Claire, playing a dare game with Jr. and Kady, eats Michael's piece of pie. Michael's punishment: Let them eat pie (and only pie). Meanwhile, Michael offers to be the dieting Jay's "chubby buddy": He'll eat the same lo-cal food she does. Of course, he doesn't tell her that he plans to cheat.

Jay's in for a surprise when she takes Claire and Kady to her office on Take Your Daughters to Work Day: She gets fired. After a bad business decision costs Jay her job and her self-esteem, she becomes a homemaker.

Michael and Janet's romantic overtures are seen on the Internet after Jr. gets new computer equipment that includes a 24-hour web cam.

Kady has acquired a hamster and Claire has a crush on a boy named Tony. Both developments pose parental challenges for Michael and Jay. The hamster dies. And Michael wishes Claire's new beau would follow suit.

Michael is thrilled when the children start their own businesses after squandering their allowances in one day.

Marriage counselors back Michael's belief that he's entitled to some time alone after spending time with Janet, much to her dismay.

Chaos erupts when Michael tries to get his always-tardy family dressed and out the door to a wedding within just 15 minutes.

The family goes on an unpleasant road trip to Paul Revere's house, to find it closed.

Michael, who dislikes going out to dinner because it's always an overpriced ordeal, allows Janet to convince him to take the family to a Japanese restaurant.

The family goes out to eat at a Japanese restaurant. Once there, the Kyles must share a table with an incredibly annoying family, the Tylers. Michael feels like he's being ripped off at every turn; things get out of control between the two families and even the restaurant employees. The two families have been enemies ever since.

Michael agrees to let Claire go on her first date with Tony, but only on condition that it is a double date with Janet and himself.

A huge argument arises when Michael's mother and father, who have not spoken to each other in years, visit the Kyle household. Note: This episode was originally intended to air in season one, but for unknown reasons, ABC pulled back to season 2 Episode 19. Which is why Jazz Raycole portrays Claire, making this episode her very final appearance in the series.

Junior asks his dad to teach him how to box so he can protect his sister's honor; Junior knocks out his dad in boxing on a lucky shot.

Competitive Janet and easygoing Michael use contrasting methods to coach Kady's soccer team. Michael takes over the coaching of Jay's girls soccer team only to find his opponents are Jay's new team.

Jay badgers Michael into giving her a job, where she soon begins to get ideas above her station. Michael discovers that Janet's personality is not a good fit for his office, and Kady reenacts a memorable scene from `E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial'.

Janet and Michael are astounded when their often dim-witted son shines on an IQ test, ranking him as a genius. Junior thinks he got a 1600/1600 on his SAT's but gets it confused with a girl named Michelle Kyle. Junior got a 200/1600, even though you get 300 for spelling your name right.

When the kids tease him about getting old, Michael pretends to have hurt his back in a game of Twister so they will have to cater to his every whim.

Jay gets a makeover after being compared to an old flame from high school. Meanwhile, Junior gets himself locked in a girl's locker after a misfortunate attempt to steal her bra.