masr um el dunya… and it always will be. but america is what I need right now. you’ll see, baba. inshallah.

Hey i’m starting to think those guys at Verizon had a point.

can we just pray together?

Pray two rakat for Ruther Bader Ginsburg.

the shower keeps getting clogged. my feet are just sitting in a puddle of my sweaty body water... You ever feel that? Like, you took a shower, but you feel like you still gotta wash your feet?

Bro…You want real love? commit to the right person. take the bay’ah.

He told you about little Omar! stop acting like you didn’t know! now you gotta explain this dog to your parents?? it’s haraam. you’re just… haraam!

You dress like a skateboarder… but you don’t know how to skateboard?

Yes. Mexicans can go to heaven.

do not go to a magic show. david blaine is straight up jinn.