In what is revealed to be a commercial for the vegetable, two friends (Will Forte, Andy Samberg) discuss the death of an unnamed friend while taking large bites out of heads of lettuce. Written and filmed in November 2005 and originally cut from dress rehearsal of the Eva Longoria episode.

Chris Parnell and Samberg rhyme about The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, cupcakes, Mr. Pibb, Red Vines, Matthew Perry, and a host of other products. The short became a viral video online. Music produced by Jorma Taccone.

A Chuck Norris fan (Jason Sudeikis) sings a ballad for him with an accompanying music video. In this video, Chuck Norris is played by Andy Samberg. Also there are cameos of Jorma Taccone as a man being robbed and then punched by Chuck Norris, Fred Armisen as a man robbing a woman and Amy Poehler as the woman being robbed.

Joel (Fred Armisen) rambles endlessly about a restaurant he visited to his friend Liz (Kristen Wiig) at first, and becomes so involved in the story, he fails to notice that he is discovered by talent scouts (Bill Hader, Parnell), stars in a movie with Scarlett Johansson, becomes a national phenomenon and then loses it all when his movie flops at the box office. Brian Williams, MTV correspondent Gideon Yago, and Conan O'Brien also make cameos.

Two old friends from school (Forte, Steve Martin) meet up after years apart, greeting each other loudly while standing with their faces only an inch apart.

Natalie Portman is interviewed about her life and responds with a rap proving she is a "badass bitch", poking fun at her clean and intellectual image. She slaps Seth Meyers and throws a chair at Parnell. Samberg appears dressed as Flavor Flav. Music produced by Jorma Taccone and Asa Taccone, and mixed by Ben Lovett.

Meyers, Forte, and Samberg are on a lunch break and start to notice that each one has a doppelgänger nearby. After Meyers and Forte say that a large bum (Horatio Sanz) is Samberg's doppelgänger, they kill the real Samberg in an evil twin scenario.

In a frame story, Hader and Samberg pitch their new ultra low-budget Digital Short, Laser Cats! to SNL executive producer Lorne Michaels. In the Laser Cats! short itself (a short within a short), Hader and Samberg play the heroes Nitro and Admiral Spaceship in a post-nuclear war world in which cats can shoot lasers from their mouths and are used as weapons. They are saving the princess (Lindsay Lohan) from the evil Robotron (Will Forte). Rachel Dratch makes an appearance, disguising herself as the princess/Lohan. Jorma Taccone appears in the opening credits for Laser Cats! Fred Armisen also makes a cameo. Laser Cats! is shot in the SNL offices (this is done with intended obviousity, as the short is supposed to be "low-budget").

Friends in the early 1990s (Kenan Thompson, Forte, and Parnell) discuss the music video by pop stars Ariel (Andy Samberg) and Efrim (Tom Hanks), where we see the lyrics consist of constantly begging for their testicles not to be harmed, in a parody of Right Said Fred's "I'm Too Sexy" and C+C Music Factory's "Gonna Make You Sweat". Also, Fred Armisen plays the guitar player, Jorma Taccone appears as a backup dancer, and Amy Poehler and Maya Rudolph are women in the video.

An apparent suicide jumper (Samberg) is negotiated with by a man on a bullhorn (Forte). After a bit of dialogue, it is revealed that the "jumper" is safely on the ground and the man with the bullhorn is mere inches away from him. This is revealed to be a commercial for peyote.

Samberg asks factual questions of passers-by outside NBC Studios in the style of the Jay Leno bit Jaywalking, instead laughing off correct answers as false. John Lutz (a then writer for SNL) makes a cameo as a man walking that Andy ridicules.

New office employee Gary (Hader) gets into a fight to the death with incumbent cubicle holder Steve (Dane Cook). Sudeikis appears as the boss and Samberg, Forte, Armisen, Thompson, Poehler and Wiig are other employees cheering on the fight.

Harpoon Man (John C. Reilly), a suave action hero and parody of Shaft, tracks down an insulting announcer dressed as a whale (Samberg), who is narrating his life in a theme song. There are appearances by Jorma Taccone, who plays a man getting robbed, and Bill Hader, who plays the man robbing Taccone.

A fast food boss (Armisen) gives his employees (Forte, Matthew Fox, Poehler, Samberg, Thompson) a pep talk and has trouble controlling his anger until one of his employees (Forte) comes in late. It originally was scheduled to air on the episode hosted by Matthew Fox (which explains his appearance), but ended up airing on the following episode hosted by Annette Bening.

A Christmas song about two men (Justin Timberlake and Samberg) giving their lovers (Kristen Wiig and Maya Rudolph) a box with their genitalia inside as presents, in a style reminiscent of early 1990s R&B sex ballads made popular by acts such as Bell Biv Devoe, Color Me Badd, and R. Kelly. Won a 2007 Creative Arts Primetime Emmy for Outstanding Music and Lyrics. Music created in part by Asa Taccone, Jorma Taccone and Katreese Barnes. It was the first official single from The Lonely Island's debut album, Incredibad.

In the same frame-story format, Hader and Samberg apologize to Lorne Michaels for the original Laser Cats! claiming to understand where they went wrong: not enough politics. They then introduce Laser Cats! 2, based on the same premise, now set in the Iraq War which has gone nuclear and caused the feline mutations. This time, Dr. Scientist (Jake Gyllenhaal) has stolen the cure that turns Laser Cats back into regular cats. Jorma Taccone appears in the opening credits for Laser Cats! 2 (Which is the same as Laser Cats!), and Fred Armisen and Amy Poehler are the scientists who created the cure.

Scott Garbaciak (Samberg) is the multi-role star in a commercial for the fictional film Nurse Nancy, in parody of Eddie Murphy films such as Norbit and The Nutty Professor.

Drew Barrymore is Desiree, host of a 1986 sexually suggestive, low-impact, high-result exercise video Body Fuzion, with "her friends" Donna, Michelle, and Donna M. (Rudolph, Wiig, and Poehler respectively).

Samberg quietly pops into view as the camera routinely cuts to different locations and landmarks. Forte begins doing the same, before being forced out by Samberg at gunpoint. Samberg wears his "Andy" shirt from the failed sketch show Awesometown created by The Lonely Island.

A corporate executive (Rainn Wilson) leads a meeting to take ideas on how to save his failing company, and hears suggestions from an increasingly bizarre set of employees, including a gigantic turkey sub and Arcade Fire. Upon reaching the end of the meeting, Wilson receives a phone call, seemingly informing him that the office building is about to be blown up. Then, the office building explodes, killing all of them inside. Amy Poehler, Bill Hader, Jason Sudeikis, Kristen Wiig, Will Forte, Darrell Hammond, Fred Armisen, Maya Rudolph and Andy Samberg all play employees of Wilson's, and Kenan Thompson plays a water guy.

Super Bowl MVP Peyton Manning takes time out to be a mentor to kids, but ends up being physically, mentally, and verbally abusive to them (a parody of his public service announcements for the United Way during 2001–05).

In a spoof of The O.C. episode "The Dearly Beloved", a man (Hader) writes a letter to his sister, he is shot by his friend (Samberg), leading to a series of overly dramatic, slow-motion shootings set to "Hide and Seek" by Imogen Heap, including their roommate (Shia LaBeouf), the sister (Wiig), and two police officers (Sudeikis, Armisen).

Samberg performs a rhyme about how much he likes his brother in-law named Roy (SNL writer Bryan Tucker).

While meeting the owner of an apartment he's about to rent (Zach Braff), a man (Samberg) is shocked to find out that the owner's dog can not only talk (with the voice of SNL writer Jorma Taccone), but has fallen in love with him. Later he finds out that the dog was using him to get a plate of ham. The owner implies that this happens regularly, but the dog convinces the man that it's still something more, and the man ends up french kissing the dog.

Samberg sings a love song for Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (Armisen), along with Adam Levine from Maroon 5, sampling "Avril 14th" by Aphex Twin. Jake Gyllenhaal has a cameo.