Fans of the Week: Sunderland. Score in LOBSTAR: Zero. Footballer Guest: Roy Evans (ex Liverpool player and manager) Other Guest: Sneaker Pimps: Liam (Newcastle fan) and Joe (Arsenal fan) On the Phone: -Steve McManaman (Real Madrid) -Danny Mills (Leeds) -Dermot Gallagher (referee) Footballing Phono Nono's 1. Greedy Nicolas Anelka 2. Alec Ferguson book revelations 3. Paul Ince war of words 4. Greedy Jimmy Floyd 5. Des Lynam 6. The eclipse Soccerette: Age 20, 5 foot 5, from Virginia Walter, supports West Ham and is called Nathalie. Can He Kick It? Guest: Roy Evans (ex Liverpool player and manager) Could He Kick It? No - the Cat saved it.

Fans of the Week: Everton. Score in LOBSTAR: One. Footballer Guest: Steve Howey (Newcastle) Other Guests: Ray Winstone (West Ham fan) and Karl Howman (Charlton fan) On the Phone: -Dean Saunders (Bradford) -Ken Hedcroft (Hartlepool chairman) Footballing Phono Nono's 1. Nightmare start for Newcastle 2. Uriah Rennie 3. Early contenders for goal of the season 4. Roy Keane transfer talks 5. Francis Jeffers on/off transfer 6. The millennium Soccerette: Age 21, 5 foot 5, from Northampton, supports Aston Villa and is called Nathalie. Can He Kick It? Guest: Graham Sharp (ex Everton etc) Could He Kick It? No - the Cat got a leg to it.

Fans of the Week: Aston Villa. Score in LOBSTAR: Zero. Footballer Guest: Lee Sharpe (Bradford) Other Guest: Richard Driscoll (from EastEnders) On the Phone: -Andy Morrison (Man City) -Carlton Palmer (Notts Forest) -Steve Wraithe (Newcastle fanzine) Footballing Phono Nono's 1. Ruudi on way out 2. Fans should be nice to Beckham 3. Ian Wright - end of an era 4. Robbie Keane - suprise move to Coventry 5. Too many foreigners in the Premiership 6. The millennium Soccerette: Age 21, 5 foot 7, from Sunberry-on-Thames, supports ? and is called Kelly. Can He Kick It? Guest: Dave Bennet (ex Coventry etc) Could He Kick It? Yes - the Cat went the wrong way.

Fans of the Week: Leeds. Score in LOBSTAR: One. Footballer Guest: Ian Pearce (West Ham) Other Guest: Dean Headley (cricketer) (West Brom fan) On the Phone: -Kevin Ball (Sunderland) -George Boateng (Aston Villa) Footballing Phono Nono's 1. Vieira discipline 2. Record amount of OGs 3. Ruudi nightmare 4. Sheffield Wednesday are rubbish 5. Stuart Pearce England call-up Soccerette: Age 26, 5 foot 7, from Newbiggin-by-Sea, supports Man Utd and is called Lindsay. Can He Kick It? Guest: Mark McGhee (ex Newcastle, Hamburg etc) Could He Kick It? Yes - but the Cat got a finger to it.

Fans of the Week: Aberdeen. Score in LOBSTAR: One. Footballer Guest: Michael Gray (Sunderland) Other Guest: Shovell (M-People) (Arsenal fan) On the Phone: -David Johnson (Ipswich) -Craig Brown (Scotland manager) -Paul Taylor (Sheff Wed fanzine) -Bryan Roy (Hertha Berlin) Footballing Phono Nono's 1. Football/pop star combos 2. Man U - looking unbeatable 3. Bobby Robson - back in big time 4. Sheff Wednesday are rubbish 5. Leicester ticket scandal. Soccerette: Age 20, 5 foot 3, from Great Bookham, supports Liverpool and is called Camelsa Can He Kick It? Guest: Eddie McGoldrick (ex Arsenal etc) Could He Kick It? Yes - an amazing shot into top right corner - the Cat didn't move.

Fans of the Week: Shrewsbury. Score in LOBSTAR: One. Footballer Guest: Rio Ferdinand (West Ham) On the Phone: -Paul Jewell (Bradford manager) -Xavier Wiggins (Wimbledon fanzine) Footballing Phono Nono's 1. Knives out for Shearer 2. Anelka still whining 3. Come on Sweden 4. Scotland our only real chance 5. Future in England kid's hands Soccerette: Age 21, 6 foot, from Eggem, supports Man Utd and is called Louisa. Can He Kick It? Guest: Danny Wallace (ex Man Utd etc) Could He Kick It? Danny was injured so Tim took it for him and smacked it past the Cat.

Fans of the Week: Leicester Score in LOBSTAR: Two Other Guests: Apollo 440: Trevor (Liverpool fan), Ian (Ipswich fan), Howard (Liverpool fan) On the Phone: -Neil Witherow (Palace fanzine) -Rob Nicols (Boro fanzine) -David Rocastle (Saba) -Kasey Keller (Rayo Vallencano) Footballing Phono Nono's 1. Blanks fired in Champs League 2. Leicester boardroom bust-ups 3. Ruudi/Gazza love tryst 4. Bosnich - nightmare at United 5. Crystal Palace in turmoil Soccerettes: There were two this week; -Called Kelly, age 18, 5 foot 5, from Essex, supports West Ham. -Called Tamlin, age 20, 5 foot 7, from Essex, supports West Ham. Can He Kick It? Guest: Alvin Martin (AKA Alvin Stardust) (ex West Ham) Could He Kick It? No - the Cat saved it.

Fans of the Week: Hartlepool. Score in LOBSTAR: One. Footballer Guest: Mark Crossley (Notts Forest) Other Guest: Phil Cornwell (impressionist) (Spurs fan) On the Phone: -John Sherdian (Oldham) -Paul Gascoigne (Boro) -Paul Taylor (Sheff Wed fanzine) Footballing Phono Nono's 1. Chelsea are rubbish 2. Arsenal late goals 3. Sheffield Wednesday are really rubbish 4. David Beckham's temper tantrums 5. David Beckham's dress sense Soccerettes: Called Fiona, age 20, 5 foot 4, from Staffordshire, supports Port Vale. Can He Kick It? Guest: Leeory Rosenoir (ex West Ham, Fulham etc) Could He Kick It? No - hit the post and wide.

Fans of the Week: Birmingham. Score in LOBSTAR: One. Footballer Guest: Craig Hignett (Barnsley) Other Guests: A (punk band): Adam and Jason (Arsenal fans) On the Phone: -Andy Mitten (Man Utd fanzine) -Joe Royle (Man City manager) -Vinny Samways (Las Palmas) Footballing Phono Nono's 1. Great Euro results 2. Man Utd - dodgy home form 3. Benio Carbone 4. Michael Owen's dark side 5. David Beckham Soccerette: Called Sabrina, age 20, 5 foot 1, from Birmingham, supports Birmingham. Can He Kick It? Guest: Jimmy Carter (ex Arsenal, QPR etc) Could He Kick It? No - the Cat saved it.

Fans of the Week: Sheffield Wednesday. Score in LOBSTAR: One. Footballer Guests: -Neil Ruddock (West Ham) -Paul Gascoigne (Middlesbrough) On the Phone: Tom Lynn (Sunderland fanzine) Footballing Phono Nono's 1. Refereeing inconsistency 2. Patrick Vieira 3. Man Utd keeper crisis 4. Sir Alex's bottom problems 5. Moaning Leboeuf Soccerette: Called Hannah, age 26, 5 foot 7, from Sweden, supports Sweden. Can He Kick It? Guest: Peter Jackson (ex Newcastle, Huddersfield manager etc) Could He Kick It? No - it went wide.

Fans of the Week: Bristol City. Score in LOBSTAR: One. Footballer Guest: Gareth Ainsworth (Wimbledon) Other Guest: Mani (Primal Scream) (Man Utd fan) On the Phone: -Tony Dinning (Stockport) -Kevin Phillips (Sunderland) -George Duncan (Dundee Utd fanzine) Footballing Phono Nono's 1. Whining Wenger 2. Sweden 3. Fergie success 4. Worthington Cup devalued again 5. Stan Collymore Soccerette: Called Natasha, age 19, 5 foot 4, from Stevenage, supports Spurs. Can He Kick It? Guest: Peter Marinello (ex Arsenal etc) Could He Kick It? No - it hit the post and went wide.

Fans of the Week: Norwich. Score in LOBSTAR: One. Footballer Guest: Rob Ullathorne (no club) Other Guest: Prodigy: Leeroy (Arsenal fan) On the Phone: -Harry Redknapp (West Ham manager) -Dave Wallace (Man City fanzine) Footballing Phono Nono's 1. England Scotland tickets 2. Redknapp/Wenger war of words 3. Chelsea heaven 4. Arsenal defence - end of an era 5. Red cards Soccerettes: There were 2 twin Soccerettes this weekend; -Called Laura, age 18, 5 foot 5, from Droylesdon, supports Man City. -Called Stacey, age 18, 5 foot 5, from Droylesdon, supports Man City. Can He Kick It? Guest: Russell Osman (ex Ipswich etc) Could He Kick It? Yes - bottom right corner.

Fans of the Week: Leyton Orient. Score in LOBSTAR: Two. Footballer Guest: Robbie Fowler (Liverpool) Other Guest: Gordon Ramsay (world's hardest chef) (Rangers fan) On the Phone: -Harry Redknapp (West Ham manager) -Dave Wallace (Man City fanzine) Footballing Phono Nono's 1. Chelsea inconsistency 2. Arsenal shouldn't have played at Wembley 3. Vieira/Razor war of words 4. Man U/FA Cup 5. Man City back in big time Soccerette: Called Tracey, age 22, 5 foot 5, from Bristol, supports Chelsea. Can He Kick It? Guest: Mike Duxbury (ex Man Utd etc) Could He Kick It? Yes - bottom left corner.

Fans of the Week: Man City. Score in LOBSTAR: Two. Footballer Guest: Jason Roberts (Bristol Rovers) Other Guest: Dominic Mohan (Sun columnist) (Bristol City fan) On the Phone: -Georgie Kinkladze (Derby) -Brian Laws (Scunthorpe manager) -Paul Lofthouse (Blackburn fanzine) Footballing Phono Nono's 1. Cole/Shearer saga 2. Kidd - nightmare year 3. Europe highs and lows 4. Man City on way back 5. Cheating Germans 6. England/Scotland tickets Soccerette: Called Sally, age 20, 5 foot 6, from Burkenshaw, supports Leeds. Can He Kick It? Guest: Steve Williams (ex Arsenal, Exeter etc) Could He Kick It? Yes - right hand side.

Fans of the Week: -Motherwell -Swindon Score in LOBSTAR: -Motherwell (2) -Swindon (1) Footballer Guests: -Paul Dalglish (Norwich) -Michael Duberry (Leeds) Footballing Phono Nono's 1. Countdown almost over 2. Scotland will play with their hearts 3. England should win on paper 4. Shearer/Cole kiss and make up 5. Scots will try to wind Beckham up Soccerette: Called Angela, age 20, 5 foot 6, from Coventry, supports Coventry and England. Can He Kick It? Guests: -Gary Gillespie (ex Liverpool, Scotland etc) -Justin Edinburgh (Spurs) Could He Kick It? Today there was an England/Scotland penalty shoot-out competition: Justin vs Gary, each taking 3 penalties against the Cat. Justin won 3-2, with the Cat saving one of Gary's penalties.

Fans of the Week: Wigan. Score in LOBSTAR: Zero. Footballer Guest: Jason Dozzell (Colchester) Other Guest: Kevin Kennedy (Coronation Street) (Man City fan) On the Phone: -Marcus Stewart (Huddersfield) -Dave Pendleton (Bradford fanzine) -Dave Chandler (Enfield manager) Footballing Phono Nono's 1. Davor Suker's share dealings 2. England scrape through 3. Scotland out with heads held high 4. England players' night out 5. Craig Brown - saved his job for now Soccerette: Called Emma, age 21, 5 foot 6, from London, supports Arsenal. Can He Kick It? Guest: Imre Varadi (ex Sheff Wed/Utd etc) Could He Kick It? No - hit bar and went out.

Fans of the Week: Crystal Palace. Score in LOBSTAR: One. Footballer Guest: Andy Morrison (Man City) Other Guest: Longpigs: Crispin (Stoke fan) On the Phone: -Neil Lennon (Leicester) -Greg Upton (Villa fanzine) Footballing Phono Nono's 1. John Gregory - job on line 2. Man Utd Euro nightmare 3. Chelsea inconsistency 4. Roy Keane contract talks 5. James Bond Soccerette: Called Emma, age 20, 5 foot, from Walsall, supports West Brom. Can He Kick It? Guest: Anders Limpar (ex Arsenal, Everton etc) was going to be on the show, but didn't turn up - Rocket was fired for this.

Fans of the Week: Liverpool. Score in LOBSTAR: Two. Footballer Guest: John Beresford (Southampton) On the Phone: -Gary McAllister (Coventry) -Geoff Sargant (Patent Office) (Gillingham fan) Footballing Phono Nono's 1. Man Utd - best team in the world 2. Joe Cole - new Gazza 3. Worthington Cup - still devalued 4. Lucky Darlington 5. Roy Keane contract stalling - again Soccerette: Called Joanne, age 24, 5 foot 7, from Warwick, supports Coventry. Can He Kick It? Guest: Robert Fleck (ex Rangers, Chelsea etc) Could He Kick It? No - the Cat saved it.

Fans of the Week: Plymouth. Score in LOBSTAR: Zero. Footballer Guest: Peter Ndlovu (Birmingham) Other Guest: Louis Emerick (Brookside) (Liverpool fan) On the Phone: -Michael Thomas (Benfica) -John Cole (Celtic fanzine) -Angel Cabeza (Marca - Spanish newspaper) Footballing Phono Nono's 1. England vs Germany - time to bury jinx 2. Roy Keane - massive wedge 3. Vialli indiscipline 4. Wembley stadium 5. Whining Petit Soccerette: Called Nicola, age 17, 5 foot 6, from Gateshead, supports Man Utd. Can He Kick It? Guest: Kerry Dixon (ex Chelsea etc) Could He Kick It? No - the Cat saved it.

Fans of the Week: Millwall. Score in LOBSTAR: One Footballer Guests: -Keith Curle (Wolves) -Ade Akinbiyi (Wolves) Other Guest: Phil Daniels (thespian) (Chelsea fan) On the Phone: -Matt Le Tissier (Southampton) -John Aldridge (Tranmere manager) -Rob Nicols (Middlesbrough fanzine) Footballing Phono Nono's 1. FA Cup devalued 2. Southgate why?????? 3. Boro - nightmare week 4. Ginola Shearer rift 5. Martin Edwards - astonishing attack Changing Rooms: Paulo di Canio (West Ham) - says that Roy Keane is the best player in the Premiership, Martin Keown is the toughest defender, Old Trafford is his favourite away ground and he revealed his tattoos - on both his arms. Soccerette: Called Louise, age 21, 5 foot 7, from Hillingdon, supports Wycombe. Can He Kick It? Guest: Peter Withe (ex Villa etc - currently the Thailand national coach) Could He Kick It? No - another save by the Cat.

Today's episode was a repeat of December 25th's.

Today's show was pre-recorded and repeated throughout the day on Sky Sports 1. We were given the best highlights from the 'Soccerettes,' and 'Can He Kick?,' goals from divisions 3 to the Premiership and showed highlights from guest interviews including -Roy Evans -Lee Sharpe -Ray Winstone -Karl Howman -Rio Ferdinand -Neil Ruddock -Paul Gascoigne -Robbie Fowler -Leeroy from the Prodigy The show also revealed who the Mystery Ref is.... Sky Sports presenter Matt Lorenzo.

Fans of the Week: Blackburn. Score in LOBSTAR: One. Footballer Guests: -Frank Lampard (Jnr) (West Ham) -Seth Johnson (Derby) On the Phone: -Xavier Wiggins (Wimbledon fanzine) -Phillipe Albert (Charleoi) Footballing Phono Nono's 1. Manchester United 2. African footballers: club v country 3. Leeds' bubble burst 4. Video evidence 5. David Beckham Changing Rooms: David Batty (Leeds) said that Roy Keane and Paul Ince are the Premiership hardmen, the most diffucult opponent he's faced is Joe Cole and if he had to choose a favourite referee, it would be Graham Poll. Soccerettes: -Called Rachel, age 24, 5 foot 6, from Nottingham, supports Arsenal. -Called Lindsey, age 23, 5 foot 4, from Milton Keynes, supports Northampton. Can He Kick It? Guest: Kevin Bond (ex Norwich etc) Could He Kick It? No - yet another save by the Cat.

Fans of the Week: Chesterfield. Score in LOBSTAR: Three. Footballer Guest: David Burrows (Coventry) Other Guest: Simon Day (Fast Show) (West Ham fan) Footballing Phono Nono's 1. Referees 2. Chris Sutton transfer 3. Man Utd - shirt deal 4. Penalty shootouts 5. West Ham v Villa 6. George Weah 7. The bloomin' flu Changing Rooms: Matt Le Tissier (Southampton) said that the best players in the Premiership are Shearer and Beckham, his best ever match was England B vs Russia B, he supported Spurs as a child, he relaxes by watching TV, playing snooker and his Playstation, he wouldn't play for Portsmouth and his best goal was for Southampton away at Blackburn in 1995. Soccerette: Called Lucy, age 19, 5 foot 6, from Coventry, supports Coventry. Can He Kick It? Guest: Mark Chamberlain (ex Sheff Wed, Exeter etc) Could He Kick It? Yes - the Cat didn't move.

Fans of the Week: Southampton. Score in LOBSTAR: Zero. Footballer Guest: Neil Lennon (Leicester) Other Guest: Ralph Little (Anthony, the Royle Family) (Man Utd fan) On the Phone: -Efan Ekoku (Grasshopper Zurich) -Jim Milton (Airdrie fanzine) Footballing Phono Nono's 1. Sunderland bubble burst 2. Bryan Robson - job on line 3. Danny Wilson - stay or go 4. Joe Cole for England 5. Leicester - do or die spirit Changing Rooms: David James (Aston Villa) said that if he wasn't a keeper, he'd be either on the bench or a striker, the best keeper in England is Nigel Martyn and the best in the world at the moment are Toldo and Buffon. He thinks the best striker he's faced is Batistuta ('strong and quick') his hobbies are gardening and DJ-ing and his best friend in football is Steve McManaman. Soccerette: Called Marlene, age 22, 5 foot 4, from Luton, supports Luton. Can He Kick It? Guest: Keith Houchan (ex Coventry etc) Could He Kick It? Yes.