The Best Episodes of Spooner's Patch

Spooner isn't amused when the inscription 'Spooner's Pigsty' is daubed on the noticeboard; or when Constable Bulsover drives straight into his superior's car.

Director: William G. Stewart

Writer: Ray Galton, Johnny Speight

Spooner emerges from his flat above the station, still in his dressing gown and suffering a hangover with accompanying memory loss.

Director: William G. Stewart

Writer: Ray Galton, Johnny Speight

Bribery and corruption? Spooner and Goatman make a stout denial when the golf trolleys they trundle into the station prove to be full of wine, groceries and other goodies.

Director: William G. Stewart

Writer: Ray Galton, Johnny Speight

Spooner's great ambition is to win the golf club championship and the presentation clock that goes with it. In spite of cheating, he fails, but a surprise awaits him at the station.

Director: William G. Stewart

Writer: Ray Galton, Johnny Speight

Nothing goes right for Spooner on the day he is to play golf with the club president - from trouble with pensioners to being badly chauffeured by Bulsover.

Director: William G. Stewart

Writer: Ray Galton, Johnny Speight

The Mayor, one of Spooner's few admirers, asks him to keep an eye on his house while he is away. Greta, the au pair, is certainly worth keeping an eye on...

Director: William G. Stewart

Writer: Ray Galton, Johnny Speight

Spooner indulges in some naughty frolics with the wife of a convicted criminal, not realising that he's due for imminent release.

Director: William G. Stewart

Writer: Ray Galton, Johnny Speight

Mrs. Cantaford persecution of an unfortunate motorist drives him over the edge - almost literally - when he threatens to throw himself off a roof.

Director: William G. Stewart

Writer: Ray Galton, Johnny Speight

Mrs. Cantaford drops Spooner's crew in the deep end when she carelessly confides their lunchtime drinking habits to the Chief Superintendent.

Director: William G. Stewart

Writer: Ray Galton, Johnny Speight

Under protest, Bulsover is made to drag up as a decoy to catch a flasher in the act.

Director: William G. Stewart

Writer: Ray Galton, Johnny Speight

Ordering up an Adonis Invisiwig to make himself look more suave soon gives Spooner cause for regret.

Director: William G. Stewart

Writer: Ray Galton, Johnny Speight

Spooner is appalled at the apparent effeminacy in his subordinates when he discovers that both Bulsover and Killick wear nail varnish.

Director: William G. Stewart

Writer: Ray Galton, Johnny Speight

Daily mundanities and a vanload of drunken Scotsmen conspire to keep Spooner from watching a key football match.

Director: William G. Stewart

Writer: Ray Galton, Johnny Speight

Taking a thrashing from Bulsover during a self-defence lesson that he foolishly instigated, Spooner starts fiddling with a pair of hand cuffs...

Director: William G. Stewart

Writer: Ray Galton, Johnny Speight

Bulsover finds a locked briefcase whilst cleaning out a squad car. They find out it's full of jewellery, but who does it belong to?

Director: William G. Stewart

Writer: Ray Galton, Johnny Speight

Spooner is seduced by the bright lights of showbiz when a producer asks for his help in the making of a new film.

Director: William G. Stewart

Writer: Ray Galton, Johnny Speight

Spooner meets his match when a young boy turns up at the police station on his mother's orders.

Director: William G. Stewart

Writer: Ray Galton, Johnny Speight

Mrs. Cantaford tries to curtail Spooner's despotic activities by running for councillor on a "get rid of filth" ticket.

Director: William G. Stewart

Writer: Ray Galton, Johnny Speight

Extreme bordedom drives everyone to distraction and forces Spooner to fear for Bulsover's sanity.

Director: William G. Stewart

Writer: N/A