To Bill's delight, Brian enters the world of popularity when he becomes the basketball team's statistician, but his feelings quickly fade when he discovers the players are making Brian their ""errand boy."" When Bill attempts to remedy the situation, the team instantly demotes Brian from cool statistician to school mascot, prompting Judy to come to the rescue.

When her cat dies, Linda starts treating her latest loser boyfriend more like a feline than a man. Meanwhile, Bill and Judy can't help but make fun of the strange circumstances of the cat's death.

When Brian is grounded for breaking curfew, he decides to move into the garage so he can live by his own rules. Meanwhile, Lauren discovers a talent for singing that's not appreciated by the rest of the family, and Linda forces an uninterested Tina to earn her Bluebell badges in an attempt to live out an unfulfilled childhood dream.

After Bill and Judy catch Brian, Lauren and their friends drinking in the basement, they decide to set an example and abstain from drinking for an entire month. Unfortunately, Bill and Judy's infamously wild Super Bowl party takes place during that time. Brian and Lauren are impressed that their parents have gone alcohol-free for a solid three weeks. However, when Super Bowl Sunday dawns, the "holiday" may be too much for Bill and Judy to handle sober.

Judy is excited to host Christmas in the Miller house for the first time, but her plans are scrapped when Bill's mom insists on having Christmas dinner for the entire family in her tiny apartment. Meanwhile, Linda's good deed for Christmas – making over her helpless co-worker – goes better than planned when her ""patient"" turns out gorgeous and lands a date with a rich lawyer Linda had her eye on.

When a lesbian couple moves in next door, Bill and Judy are shameless in their quest to get approval to build the deck of their dreams. But when they fail to make nice with the couple, they decide to use Lauren to score points and convince her to go out with the neighbors' nerdy son, Chris. However, their plan backfires when Lauren actually falls for Chris, but his mothers think that Lauren's a bad influence.

When Lauren and her friends start hanging out in the Halversons' cool ""teen scene"" basement, Judy becomes jealous and starts a competition by creating a cooler teen hang-out in the Millers' garage. But when Bill discovers the real reason the neighborhood boys think the Millers' house is the better place to be, the Millers are forced to abandon their dream of being the neighborhood hangout and apologize to the Halversons for competing with them.

When a doctor diagnoses Lauren with depression, the teenager sees a golden opportunity to take advantage of the situation. Meanwhile, Brian is desperate to figure out a way to stop his parents from going on college tours with him just to check out the local bars.

Bill and Judy come to Fitz's rescue by helping him adjust to his new life as a single man by joining him in his new bachelor pad and helping him pick up women at a bar by pretending that they are all swinging singles. Meanwhile, Linda agrees to watch their kids until she figures out that Bill and Judy's efforts to help Fitz may not be as altruistic as they appear.

Brian is excited and filled with confidence when he receives instant messages from Lauren's hot tutor, Sarah, a smart college student. Bill encourages Brian to pursue her and ask her to the upcoming high school dance. However, just as Brian is about to make his move, his family once again manages to suck the joy out of the moment.

When Bill and Judy discover that their pediatrician has the teddy bear that they used to hide their stash in, they must come up with a plan to get it back. When they find that the toy isn't in the donation bin at Dr. Bloom's office anymore, they go to his house where Lauren is babysitting his granddaughter, Ella. They discover that Ella is sound asleep holding it but as they prepare to get it away from her, Dr. Bloom returns home.

Judy tries to stand her ground when Bill's mother tries to hone in on her Mother's Day tradition with her own mom. Judy finally convinces Bill to take Louise wherever she wants to go while she, Helen and Lauren go to their traditional tea. But chaos ensues when they all convene at the same place.

Brian is stinking pretty bad, so Bill tries to teach him how to live with ""the Millers sweats."" Turns out Brian has been skipping shower after gym because he feels different from the other guys. Afraid Bill might have given him wrong advice, Judy tries to interfere and Brian reveals that he has ""bigger"" problems. He's angry at Bill for telling his secret to everyone so Bill reveals some of his most embarrassing moments to make up for it – only he didn't know all his friends were hidden in the living room for his surprise birthday party.

Eager to relive their glory days, chaperones Bill and Judy are excited about a teen dance with an '80s theme. The same can't be said of Brian, who's dateless after following his mom's relationship advice. Meanwhile, Bill gives a few pointers on the birds and bees to a football player, who then makes a move on Lauren.

Jealous of his friend's relationship with his athletic son, Bill tries to bond with Brian by helping him build a St. Patrick's Day parade float. Meanwhile, Lauren dreads the humiliation she's going to suffer when the uncoordinated Judy performs her Irish river dance at the parade.

When Judy discovers that Bill is an excellent cook, she welcomes his help with the meals. But when he gets fussy about the cooking, Judy begins to think that maybe she preferred it when Bill spent all his time on the couch.

Bill is irate when he catches Lauren's boyfriend sneaking out of the house after midnight. Following the incident, Bill decides to bond with Chris in order to gain his respect and ensure that the young man is less likely to disrespect his daughter. When Chris reveals to Bill that Lauren is the one who wants things to move faster, the Millers make a valiant attempt to put their parenting skills to work.

When Judy finally has a good idea at a PTA meeting, the attention she receives from the group's president, Elise Larkin, encourages her and Bill to become more responsible parents. After being invited to the Larkin's for a backyard barbecue, they go a step too far by voicing their concerns that the Larkin's son, Dorian, may be having sex – only to learn that they may need to be more concerned about the activities of their own son.

Brian and Lauren take jobs at different areas (book store and babysitting) and soon their bond with their bosses provokes jealousy among their parents. Bill and Judy feel overlooked when they realize their children are doing all sort of things with their bosses that they normally wouldn't do – or ever did – with them. Brian learns to like Led Zeppelin and baseball, while Lauren bakes brownies for her boss. All's well for the kids until their dream parents fall through and they realize there are no parents like Bill and Judy.

Bill and Judy grow suspicious when Brian and Lauren start secretly making plans and covering up for each other. In order to get to the bottom of things, Bill and Judy start snooping and uncover fake IDs, a box of cash and a receipt from a tattoo parlor.

Bill and Judy are elated when they discover that Brian actually has a girlfriend, but Bill is even prouder of his son for having a crush on his girlfriend's hot pal. Bill and Judy both have their own thoughts on how Brian should handle his love triangle. Judy wants her son to do the right thing, while Bill, speaking from experience, advises Brian to stay with his plain girlfriend in order to appear sensitive and score the hottie. Meanwhile, Tina retaliates against Linda for scaring her.

Judy asks Bill and Fitz to shoot Tina's ballet recital, but when Tina's teacher takes center stage in a sexy ballerina outfit, Bill can't take the camera off her. After Judy discovers what is on the tape, Bill puts the blame on Fitz in order to save his hide. When Fitz's wife discovers the same tape, Bill takes the blame for filming the attractive teacher. Caught up in a web of lies, Bill and Fitz do everything in their power to keep their wives from discovering the truth.

Brian helps a woman in need as part of his outreach project and Bill willingly lends a hand when he discovers that ""old"" Mrs. Grundy is a hottie. When Judy catches Brian and Bill staring at the beautiful Mrs. Grundy, Judy demands that Bill have a serious talk with Brian about not leering at women. Bill teaches his son a lesson, but it is not exactly the lesson Judy had in mind. Meanwhile, Linda contemplates Perry's request to spice up their sex life outside of the bedroom.

The guys down at the toilet store get a new boss "a young, brash, Harvard graduate" who develops a friendship with Brian. Bill shamelessly benefits from the situation until Judy steps in and leaves no question that she's still the boss. Meanwhile, Tina and her mysterious new friend frustrate Lauren.

Bill and Judy are initially happy that Linda and Perry are finally tying the knot, but when Roach, the eccentric minister and best man, shows up and the other wedding details are unveiled, Judy thinks her sister may be making a big mistake.