To Bill's delight, Brian enters the world of popularity when he becomes the basketball team's statistician, but his feelings quickly fade when he discovers the players are making Brian their ""errand boy."" When Bill attempts to remedy the situation, the team instantly demotes Brian from cool statistician to school mascot, prompting Judy to come to the rescue.

Invited to a potential new boss' home for dinner, Judy desperately tries to get the family to be on their best behavior, but Brian's conflicting desires for both his daugher and sci-fi memorabilia collection complicate matters.

When Brian graduates high school, he plans to move out and Bill and Judy plan to expand their bedroom into his. However, Brian gets the impression they've split and have become swingers.

When Lauren starts taking advantage of neighbor Chris’ affections, Judy steps in to let him know that he is being used. Chris then directs his crush to Judy who takes advantage of him to get work done around the house.

When her cat dies, Linda starts treating her latest loser boyfriend more like a feline than a man. Meanwhile, Bill and Judy can't help but make fun of the strange circumstances of the cat's death.

After Bill and Judy catch Brian, Lauren and their friends drinking in the basement, they decide to set an example and abstain from drinking for an entire month. Unfortunately, Bill and Judy's infamously wild Super Bowl party takes place during that time. Brian and Lauren are impressed that their parents have gone alcohol-free for a solid three weeks. However, when Super Bowl Sunday dawns, the "holiday" may be too much for Bill and Judy to handle sober.

When Judy and Linda go to traffic school together, their roles are reversed, with Linda suddenly the popular one and Judy seen as a boring doctor. Meanwhile, after picking Lauren up from a college party she sneaked out to, Brian forces her to be his slave.

Bill and Judy search for a pair of tickets to a Rolling Stones concert, but getting them proves to be more difficult than they'd hoped. Meanwhile, they have to put up with Marion expounding on how wonderful she and Fitz's marriage is.

Bill has to crawl back into Judy's favor by apologizing to her hairdresser for calling him a rip-off artist.

Judy is excited to host Christmas in the Miller house for the first time, but her plans are scrapped when Bill's mom insists on having Christmas dinner for the entire family in her tiny apartment. Meanwhile, Linda's good deed for Christmas – making over her helpless co-worker – goes better than planned when her ""patient"" turns out gorgeous and lands a date with a rich lawyer Linda had her eye on.

When Brian is grounded for breaking curfew, he decides to move into the garage so he can live by his own rules. Meanwhile, Lauren discovers a talent for singing that's not appreciated by the rest of the family, and Linda forces an uninterested Tina to earn her Bluebell badges in an attempt to live out an unfulfilled childhood dream.

When a lesbian couple moves in next door, Bill and Judy are shameless in their quest to get approval to build the deck of their dreams. But when they fail to make nice with the couple, they decide to use Lauren to score points and convince her to go out with the neighbors' nerdy son, Chris. However, their plan backfires when Lauren actually falls for Chris, but his mothers think that Lauren's a bad influence.

Judy tries to stand her ground when Bill's mother tries to hone in on her Mother's Day tradition with her own mom. Judy finally convinces Bill to take Louise wherever she wants to go while she, Helen and Lauren go to their traditional tea. But chaos ensues when they all convene at the same place.

Bill takes Brian out to a gentlemen's club for his 18th birthday, but worries when Brian starts spending all his time there. Meanwhile, Linda regrets giving Lauren a poem for her homework when it may end up winning an award.

Louise winning a car during a taping of Oprah puts a rift between her and Judy. Meanwhile, Brian and his meteorology club friends decide how to spend a club surplus.

When Judy's excellent coaching may put Tina's basketball team in the playoffs, Bill tries to get them to lose so he can watch real basketball on TV instead. Meanwhile, Linda's hurt when her cat seems to love Lauren more than her.

Bill and Judy attend their twentieth high school reunion, and soon they begin acting like teenagers again. Bill meets his old hot dog eating competitor and challenges him to see who can eat more pancakes at the reunion breakfast, while Judy is shocked to see that the most popular girl at school has become a successful architect and has a ""perfect life."" In order to make Judy happy, Bill makes up a lie about the woman's husband having an affair, and Judy spreads it all around the reunion. Now Bill has to make an effort and correct the lie, but only makes it worse – as the rumor spreads, the guy goes from a cheater to gay man. Meanwhile, Linda scores a date with an ex-boyfriend, but she can't get over his disliking of The Beatles.

Lauren anxiously awaits a phone call from a boy, and in an effort to help her, Bill tells the boy that she likes him and he should call her. Lauren is humiliated, so Judy buys tickets to a Blink-182 concert for her and all her friends. The only rule is that Bill cannot talk to the kids when they go to the concert, but unfortunately he can't help himself. Lauren leaves the concert and goes to the car in embarrassment and Bill ends up giving her fifty dollars to come back. But as one embarrassment ends, another one begins when Judy flashes her breasts to the band.

Judy is tired of always playing bad cop and having Bill undermine her authority to the kids, so she decides to take a day off and let all hell break loose under Bill's supervision. When she realizes that Bill is actually capable to handle their kids and just isn't willing to do so, Judy decides to play good cop for good. Bill refuses to be the bad cop, because he's been the good cop since he was born. Both stubborn, they decide to stick to their roles until the first one caves in. Tina decides to get her bellybutton pierced and they agree on it. Brian wants to drive and Judy lets him. But later on she finds out Bill set her up and they both come back to their senses and put the house back together – but not right away. Let Brian be the bad cop for a while.

When Lauren and her friends start hanging out in the Halversons' cool ""teen scene"" basement, Judy becomes jealous and starts a competition by creating a cooler teen hang-out in the Millers' garage. But when Bill discovers the real reason the neighborhood boys think the Millers' house is the better place to be, the Millers are forced to abandon their dream of being the neighborhood hangout and apologize to the Halversons for competing with them.

When a doctor diagnoses Lauren with depression, the teenager sees a golden opportunity to take advantage of the situation. Meanwhile, Brian is desperate to figure out a way to stop his parents from going on college tours with him just to check out the local bars.

Bill and Judy come to Fitz's rescue by helping him adjust to his new life as a single man by joining him in his new bachelor pad and helping him pick up women at a bar by pretending that they are all swinging singles. Meanwhile, Linda agrees to watch their kids until she figures out that Bill and Judy's efforts to help Fitz may not be as altruistic as they appear.

Brian is excited and filled with confidence when he receives instant messages from Lauren's hot tutor, Sarah, a smart college student. Bill encourages Brian to pursue her and ask her to the upcoming high school dance. However, just as Brian is about to make his move, his family once again manages to suck the joy out of the moment.

When Bill and Judy discover that their pediatrician has the teddy bear that they used to hide their stash in, they must come up with a plan to get it back. When they find that the toy isn't in the donation bin at Dr. Bloom's office anymore, they go to his house where Lauren is babysitting his granddaughter, Ella. They discover that Ella is sound asleep holding it but as they prepare to get it away from her, Dr. Bloom returns home.

When Judy tells Bill to take her mother to the eye doctor, her mother convinces Bill to take a gamble and disobey that order and go to a casino instead. When Judy finds out, Bill asks Judy if her insistence about the appointment is the result of her own fear of getting old, as her 40th birthday is just days away. Meanwhile, the kids are at a loss as to what to get their mom for her birthday.