The Best Episodes of Tales from the Crypt

Fred and Erma are workers at a squid cafe who find themselves in trouble because their business is failing and their landlord will kick them out. That is until one of the employees encourages them to serve meat. Suddenly business is getting better. Gaston decides to double cross Fred and Erma but he ends getting invited for dinner ... but not in the way he expects. (with optional commentary by John Kassir in character as the Cryptkeeper, the episode's writer Alan Katz, and Tales From the Crypt chronicler Digby Diehl).

Director: Gilbert Adler

Writer: N/A

The general is ashamed when he learns that the rumors of the Lt. (who is also his son) being a coward are true. He offers his son a way out of the army if he can take part in one last mission. The Lt. panics and leaves while his comrades are killed by the enemy. His father sentences him to die by firing squad. Fortunately the guns are loaded with blanks, or so he says.

Director: Robert Zemeckis

Writer: N/A

Horton Rivers is an arrogant television tabloid host. He is trying to get big ratings and decides to take his crew through a haunted house. The house is rumored to be haunted by an old woman who killed a number of men. Soon strange things start happening. Someone or something is stalking Horton and his camera crew. The ratings could take him to the top or to the bottom.

Director: Charlie Picerni

Writer: N/A

A sneaky con man has a talent for killing people after he sells them phony tombstones. He soon learns that some for his new victims have a fortune buried in their cellar. He marries their daughter and kills the parents but when he goes down in the basement he gets a big surprise.

Director: Gilbert Adler

Writer: N/A

Carl and Marty are siblings who work at a hospital. Carl shows Marty his new way of proving that the brain lives after the body dies. The whole thing turns out to be a prank but the shock of the joke gives Marty a heart attack. Years later Marty hasn't forgiven Carl and plans a deadly revenge. Marty then reveals that it was an act of revenge on Carl and the whole thing was a joke ... or was it?

Director: Stephen Hopkins

Writer: N/A

On Christmas Eve, a woman slaughters her husband and learns that she's on Santa's naughty list when an escaped maniac dressed as Santa Claus shows up at her doorstep with a special present for her.

Director: Robert Zemeckis

Writer: N/A

An arrogant radio child psychologist is obsessed with proving to his manager that he is the best. He gets a new patient, a woman and her daughter. When he goes to her room, he assumes that the daughter is the woman's imaginary friend. He learns that her daughter died years ago but her mother's love keeps her alive.

Director: Peter Medak

Writer: N/A

A ventriloquist seeks out his old hero, Ingels, who he always admired. He soon meets up with his ventriloquist dummy Morty and discovers a shocking secret.

Director: Richard Donner

Writer: N/A

Dalton is a seasoned combat photographer who finds himself falling for a beautiful women who just happens to be the wife of his friend. One day Ike sends Dalton into a disease warfare area. Dalton returns, but not the way he used to be. He soon writes a letter about how he was set up and his wife and friend also contract the same disease.

Director: Gary Fleder

Writer: N/A

Two rival long time gamblers meet up in a small town to have one last duel.

Director: Walter Hill

Writer: N/A

Billy is a smalltime criminal who is bloody red for vengeance. Years ago, his boss at an icecream warehouse double crossed him by sending him to prison. Now he plans to frame his boss with the help of his disabled brother.

Director: Russell Mulcahy

Writer: N/A

A man slaughters his wife who he believes is having an affair. He drags her body and puts it in the bathtub. The police arrive and he refuses to let them near the bathtub. He chops up the corpse and hops a train with a trunk containing his wife's corpse. The detective follows him. The man switches trunks but when he opens the other one he gets a big surprise.

Director: Kevin Hooks

Writer: N/A

Barry Blye is a frustrated actor who will do anything to get a part. He's been rejected by every acting company because he doesn't have the right look. Bad luck follows him all over. First his girlfriend breaks up with him. Then he's kicked out of his apartment. Then his old rival Winton Robins, who has ""the look"", gets a part in a weird theater's production of Hamlet. Barry goes into a frustrated rage and strangles him to death to take the part. He is shocked when he learns that the theater is really a mental hospital.

Director: Todd Holland

Writer: N/A

Dixon is a lumberjack who marries a sexy barmaid named Liz Kelly. Soon after, he turns from sweet Dr. Jekyll into cruel Mr. Hyde. He is jealous of her when the boys find her attractive. One day a new lumberjack comes to town and Liz finds Ted attractive. When he catches them in the bed together, Dixon goes in a jealous rage and whacks him blinding him. The boys help him seek revenge on Dixon and Liz.

Director: Russell Mulcahy

Writer: N/A

Stetson is a con man who likes to date twins. He finds himself in the arms of twin sisters and creates a twin of his own. He weds both of them and decides to knock them off. Little does he know these twins share alike.

Director: Joel Silver

Writer: N/A

Reggie is a college jock who is trying to pass a history test. He asks the class bookworm Stella Bishop to help tutor him. She goes to Finely's house to to get the answer sheet, but when she gets there, Finely and Reggie lock her in a mummy's tomb. Finely double crosses Reggie by poisoning him. Finely goes back to check his work, and gets a big surprise. Stella is not dead. She has been charming the mummy by impersonating his dead girlfriend making the mummy jealous and Reggie and Finely really take the wraps.

Director: Jeffrey Boam

Writer: N/A

Janet is a suburban wife of an ex-CIA assassin. When a group of operatives invade her home, they seem to think her husband is up to his old tricks again. The leader tempts one of her men then kills him, then kills the other guy, then plans to do the same with Janet. But Janet has a nasty surprise for her that she will never forget.

Director: Martin von Haselberg

Writer: N/A

Lou Spinielli is an ex-criminal who wants to escape from his past. He hires Oscar, a plastic surgeon to sculpt his face in the form of Humphrey Bogart's. When his wife gets the pictures of his past in the mail, Oscar suggests that he kill Vivian. The plan backfires and when Lou returns home and he gets a surprise. Vivian and Oscar have been partners all along. They bump Lou off and take him far into the woods to bury him. Lou's mistress, Erika, shows up and the couple become some murder victims themselves.

Director: Robert Zemeckis

Writer: N/A

A bum named Ulric is given the chance of a lifetime when a scientist puts the gland of a cat inside his body. Soon Ulric becomes the main attraction at a sideshow.

Director: Richard Donner

Writer: N/A

A gold digging waitress goes to a fortune teller who predicts that by the end of the day her boss will fire her and she will land a new job. When the prediction becomes reality, she goes back for more. The fortune teller predicts that she will marry a man who will inherit a fortune then die. She gets the money first and when she tells her husband to kiss off, he stabs her to death and ends up in the hot seat.

Director: Howard Deutch

Writer: N/A

Siamese twins, the timid and kind-hearted Frank and the other, reckless and sadistic Eddie, must make a decision on whether or not to allow an experimental surgery to have them separated, even though one of them doesn't want to be split from the other.

Director: Peter S. Seaman

Writer: N/A

A sadistic serial killer has unforeseen complications when pursued by a determined motorcycle cop in a barren desert.

Director: Steven E. de Souza

Writer: N/A

An aging puppeteer gets a new assistant. When he learns that his wife has a boyfriend, the assistant promises he'll do something about it. The puppeteer spends most of his time with is favorite puppet Koko. When he discovers that his assistant is his wife's lover, the two make him think that Koko has gone on a murderous rampage. Little do they know that Pinocchio isn't the only one with-out strings.

Director: Kevin Yagher

Writer: Yale Udoff, Kevin Yagher

Les Whilton is the president of a college fraternity. He decides to scare three pledges by daring them to spend a night in a haunted house. He and some of his friends have set up the place to look like it's haunted. Along for the ride is a group of sorority sisters. When everyone else turns up missing, everyone turns to Whilton. Whilton goes into the house alone and he gets a big surprise.

Director: Bob Gale

Writer: N/A

Niles Talbot moved from the country to the big city to get a job as an electrian but ended up as an executioner. His trouble begins when he's suddenly uemployed and decides to take the law into his own hands.

Director: Walter Hill

Writer: N/A