The Worst Episodes of The Aunty Jack Show

(unaired pilot)

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Aunty Jack and her gang take on talk-back radio shows.

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Aunty Jack re-visits all the wars since the Trojan affair. A secret documentary unearths the man who choreographed World War Two. Narrator Neville poses the age old riddle — where would we be without walls?

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The Aunty Jack Show takes a serious turn from which it hardly recovers. There are Italian lessons for the jet-setter and Gaelic lessons for the Irish Setter. Two genuine diggers fill us in on how ordinary great people really are.

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The first successful attempt by a television program to remain completely anonymous. Throughout the program, not one person is named. Who is Spider Farrelly? You may well ask! The Aunty Jack Show will not give you the answer.

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Aunty Jack this week introduces you to her remarkable family — Australia's first Royal Family. There's a two minute, twelve part historical series in one act and Australia's other first family — the Ken Howard Family.

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Scudding clouds veil a full moon as three cloaked figures struggle up a windswept road burdened by the weight of an outsized coffin... But who is inside?

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Boardroom executives at Channel 9 decide to streamline the character of Aunty Jack and present the new-look Aunty Jack Show, with Kid Eager disguised as Aunty Jack. Naturally, Aunty Jack will not tolerate such behaviour! Other sketches include Gong Fu versus the Nowra Ninja and the first episode of the regular segment, 'What's On In Wollongong.'

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Aunty Jack, the true heir to the throne of Wollongong, looks back on the traumatic time when, as Princess Jack, she was forced to flee The Gong after 'things' (foreigners) kidnapped her parents. She journeys to North Wollongong (London), where she attempts to prevent the influx of any further 'things' before returning to Port Kembla to be reunited with her parents. Meanwhile, Kev Kavanagh is in London on an experimental butchers' grant, and the rest of the team join the Dorothy Dix three-ring circus.

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This episode re-creates the exciting moments when Aunty Jack first won the world heavyweight boxing title. When Thin Arthur reveals that her boxing glove has magic powers, Kid Eager decides to steal it. Meanwhile, Flange Desire decides to marry the Kid for his money, so Aunty Jack and Thin Arthur promptly engage him in a card game to make sure his money goes to them instead.

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Kid Eager has a solution to the bane of Aunty Jack's femininity — her moustache. It has to come off! When all efforts to remove it fail, the Kid, Flange and Arthur are shrunk to microscopic size and climb into the moustache — and are then accidentally swallowed. They take a tour of Aunty Jack's insides, including the brain. The program also looks at the five-year bus driver degree course.

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Aunty Jack is plagued by her own ghost, but the rest of the team manage to protect her. The program also features a magic 'New Faces' show hosted by Norman Tavistock — a daring World War II air-raid and parachute exercise — and a wild Aunty Jack football game.

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Put the toddlers in the kitchen. Check the street for the Vice Squad, as The Aunty Jack Show goes erotic.

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Aunty Jack presents the first X-rated television show, but because she can't find enough subjects beginning with 'X' she calls it The 'R' Certificate Show. In Wollongong, Norman Gunston reveals the Wollongong Sex Horror Scandal. There's the final of the world all-in tag-wrestling match between brothers Eric and Luigi and a well-known family, Kev Kavanagh in London goes Andy Warhol and the team go to Camp Chloe to learn how to become practising homosexuals.

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