Granny tries to match-make Jed after he told her not to. She sends his vital statistics to Jethro's computer dating service & waits for the results.   Miss Peabody was selected as Jed's match, but when she arrived Granny thought she was Jethro's match & thought she was a bit old for the boy.   Miss Jane tried her hand with the computer matching service & when her details were fed into the machine, It blew a fuse & blacked out all of Beverly Hills.!!

The Marriage Machine

Buddy Ebsen

Irene Ryan

Donna Douglas

Max Baer Jr.

Raymond Bailey

Nancy Kulp

Elly Comes Out

The Indians Are Coming

Granny returns from visiting Pearl & brings Pearls old telephone with her. She wants Jethro to install a party line so she can listen to other folks conversations. However things don't go as Granny planned.

The Party Line

Granny enters a Soup Contest using Elly's name and wins. Granny wants exposure for Elly so she can get married.   Jed's against Granny's idea because he says it's dishonest. Granny gets rid of him & Invites the men from the ad agency & soup company around so she can sign the papers. The men want to wait for Jed to come home.Then Miss Hathaway & Mr Drysdale arrive & Miss Hathaway dresses in Jed's clothes & signs the Papers as J.D. Clampett.  In the end Granny makes the commercial   saying she made the soup,but still manages to get some exposure for Elly on the T.V.

The Soup Contest

Jethro is trying to impress a girl & asks Dash Riprock for Love lessons.  He asks Susie for a date but she's not interested until she learns that it's a double date & Dash Riprock is the other fella.    Dash,Elly, Susie and Jethro go to a Drive In movie (Swamp Monster & Brutorus ""double feature"")    Later  Jethro & Susie go back to Dash's ""pad"" but things don't go Jethro's way & then Miss Jane arrives to make matters worse.

Jethro Takes Love Lessons

Emmaline Fetty arrives at the Clampett's claiming to be from back home. In reality she is trying to blackmail Jed with some incriminating photos she took with a ""cuckoo clock camera"".   Her associate Colonel Foxhall shows Mr Drysdale the photos & tries to extort money out of Him.

The Badger Game

Jethro thinks Duke is calling His name, when it's really Emmaline   hiding in the bushes. She wants Jethro to sneak her into the house so she can borrow one of Elly's dresses & change her appearance. She then goes to the Bank to see Mr Drysdale & tries the same incriminating photo ""con job"" on Him. Meanwhile a Detective has caught up to Col.Foxhall & takes him to the Clampett's to get their statement. Jed saves Mr Drysdale when He learns of the scheme & Granny gives Emmaline a ""paddled behind.""

The Badgers Return

Elly wants a Gorilla, Jethro wants it to do all his chores. Jed asks Mr Drysdale if he can send one over.  Mr Drysdale hires a man in a Gorilla suit & asks him if he can scare the Clampetts enough that they'll forget the Gorilla Idea.    When He arrives things don't go as planned & Granny climbs into the cage to make the Gorilla behave. Elly names him ""Herby"" & Jethro puts him to work. After chopping wood & various other chores Granny wants Herby to do the ironing.

When Mr Drysdale arrives Herby (Mr Kelly) takes off the suit & leaves & Mr Drysdale puts it on & drives back to the bank.

The Clampetts then go to the Zoo & bring back a real Gorilla.

The Gorilla

Mr Kelly (Herby) wants his money from Mr Drysdale. Mr Drysdale wants Herby to go back to the Clampetts to replace the real Gorilla.  The Clampetts still think Herby's real & offer to buy him from Mr Kelly. Mr Drysdale arrives & has to wear the suit so Jed can meet Mr Kelly & offer him the money.    When Mr Kelly gets the money he runs & Mr Drysdale chases after him.

Come Back, Little Herbie

Granny's mixing up a batch of her soap,Mrs Drysdale complains to the smog commisioner. The smog commish. arrives & Granny chases him off with a shotgun.   The commish.is up for re-election,so Mr Drysdale suggests Jed run for Smog Commisioner.    Jethro invents a filter for car smog.(only problem is it's too big.!)

Jed in Politics

Granny wins five free dance lessons from Marvin & Marita dance school & can't wait to start.    The dance instructors arrive at the Clampett's & Granny starts dancing with Marvin. Later Granny wants the young uns to learn to dance & Jed learns Marvin & Marita have no students so He tries to find some for them.

Clampett Cha Cha Cha

Jed gets a job as a garbage man & Mr Drysdale is shocked, so he gets him a position as director on the board of O.K. Oil Company.   The Clampetts turn the company plane into a cheap airline & sell tickets to anywhere for the same low price.

Jed Joins the Board

Mr Drysdale's competitor John Cushing  woo's Granny so she'll put her money in his bank. When Mr Drysdale hears of this he asks   his father in law Mr Farquar to woo Granny to keep the money in his bank.  Meanwhile Granny is running between the two when they come to call & is exhausted before to long.

Granny Lives It Up

The Clampett's are shocked to hear Gloria Swanson's house is to be demolished to make way for a golf course. They offer to make a silent movie with her as the star to raise some money.    The Movie ""Passions Plaything"" has it's world premiere at the Bijou theatre in Bugtussle.

The Gloria Swanson Story

Jethro wants to mail himself to Paris to meet girls.   Miss Jane arrives with Biddle Bird Watchers. Jethro likes Athena & wants to join, Miss Jane says only girls can join. Mr Drysdale suggests Jethro join the Junior Woodchucks & the two groups can have a combined outing. While trying to earn a merit badge Jethro's ants escape from the ant farm & everyone jumps into the cement pond to avoid them.!

The Woodchucks

Lester & Earl return with the news they are making a commercial for Foggy Mountain Soap.  Jed & Granny are invited by the owner to star in the commercial. Jethro wants to direct it.

Foggy Mountain Soap

It's Christmas & Granny has no Christmas spirit. Jed, Jethro & Elly remember the good ol' days back home & decide to help the people of Beverly Hills.

Jethro gets a job as Santa in a dept.store, Elly is his elf.    Jed is working at the sporting goods counter & Granny is working in women's lingerie.  Earlier Mr Drysdale asked Jethro to take some old clothes away & he thought the Drysdale's were short on cash so they had to sell some of their clothes.    When Mrs Drysdale visited the Dept.store Granny slipped some nightgowns into her bag without her knowledge & as Mrs Drysdale left the store,the store detective arrested her.

When Mrs Drydsale returned from the police station the Clampetts had bought back her bag of old clothes as a Christmas present.

The Christmas Present

Granny discovers Martians next door at the Drysdale mansion.

The Flying Saucer

The Mayor of Bugtussle arrives & the Clampett's roll out the red carpet to welcome him. The Mayor tells Mr Drysdale he needs money for the city funds & wanted to ask Jed but couldn't. Mr Drysdale asks how much he needs & the Mayor says $100,000 should cover it. Mr Drysdale refuses & The Mayor goes back to Jed.    He wanted to ask Jed but Jethro interupted & Jed tells Granny He thinks the Mayor wants to ask her to marry.    Later Mr Drysdale arrives with the cheque & the Mayor leaves in a hurry.

The Mayor of Bug Tussle

Granny wants to retire from Doctorin' & go home to the Hills.    She wants to pass on her knowledge to Jethro & Elly but they aren't really interested.    Mr Drysdale convinces Dr Clyburn to ask Granny for advice so she'll stay in Beverly Hills.

Granny Retires

The Clampett's give all their money to N.E.E.D.Y. & move out of the mansion. On their way out of Los Angeles they run out of gas   near a national park & with no money decide to stay in the park & maybe chop down a few trees & raise a few crops.    When Jed goes looking for the owner of the land he meets the ranger who tells them to leave, so they walk back to the Mansion & the girls from N.E.E.D.Y. give back the money.

The Clampett Curse

An Indian reservation borders the O.K. oil fields land back in the Hills & the chief wants to discuss the boundary with Jed.    Granny thinks the Indians are on the warpath & when she hears they're comin' to Beverly Hills she gets out her gun.

Mr Drysdale hires actors to pretend they're indians & attack the mansion. Granny holds them off until she runs out of ammo'.    Meanwhile the Chief meets with Jed & they sort out the problem.

John Wayne has a brief cameo at the end of this episode.

Granny wants a coming out party for Elly and tells Society Sandy it will be the social event of the year. Mrs. Drysdale wants to make it a social flop. Mr. Drysdale is afraid the Clampett's will be ridiculed and move back to the hills.  Miss Jane comes to the rescue saying it's a "Fancy Dress" coming out party and, in the end, the event is a big success.

Jethro wants to be a bullfighter & asks Jed to buy him a bull.   When it arrives,it's the wrong kind of bull & Elly quickly adopts it as a pet.   The movie studio is making a movie about bullfighting starring the famous Matador ""El Magnifico""  Elly gets a date with ""El Magnifico"".

The Matador

Mrs Drysdale hires 2 Gypsy's to go to the Clampett house & tell them it's cursed & maybe they'll go back home to the hills.    Granny is convinced & wants to go home straight away.    When Mr Drysdale hears of this He & Miss Jane dress as Gypsy's & convince them to stay.

The Gypsy's Warning

Mrs Drysdale invites a King to come & stay at her place. She doesn't know He's broke & when Mr Drysdale introduces him to the Clampett's He wants to marry Elly for Her money.   When Elly says no, He runs off after Mrs Drysdales Neice.

His Royal Highness

Granny sees a hippo next door at the Drysdale's & thinks it's the biggest hog she's ever seen. Mr Drysdale foreclosed on a zoo & is using the hippo for advertising purposes by writing ads on it's side.    Granny wants Jed to buy the 'hog' & butcher it for her. Elly sees the 'hog' & tells them it's a hippo, but they don't listen to her.

Against Miss Janes protests, Mr Drysdale uses a baby elephant to advertise as well & when they find there way into the Clampett's cement pond Elly adopts them & washs off the painted advertising.

Super Hawg

Granny mixes up a batch of her 'spring tonic' & takes it to the bank. Jed swaps it for root beer. Dr Clyburn wants to charge Granny with dispensing without a licence. Mr Drysdale begs him not to & asks him to invite Granny to his surgery to see how modern medicine is performed. Against his better Judgement he agrees & invites Granny to his office.    Granny thinks it's a date & Dr. Clyburn is interested in her.   It's his day off but he's showing her all the modern devices, Granny wonders why he has no patients.    Later Granny goes on TV advertising his services to get him some patients.

The Doctors

Lester, Gladys & Earl arrive for Gladys' screen test. Lester wants Jethro to direct so she won't get the job.! They need three days to develop the film, so Jed has them move into the cabin out back. Gladys has Lester working from dawn 'til dusk doing chores. At the end of the 3 days Gladys gets the job but decides to go home to Tennesee.

Delovely and Scruggs

Mr Drysdales' nephew Milby is just like his Uncle,he arrives for a visit & is quite a handfull. When he learns that the Clampetts are millionaires he wants them to baby sit him.    Milby buys all the Clampett's art work & vases for $200 off Jethro. Jethro thinks he's made a profit off Milby.    When Mr Drysdale arrives & sees Milby with all the Clampett's things on the driveway he punishes him by taking his money-belt.

The Little Monster

Elly makes a sponge cake with real sponges.! Mrs Drysdale wants a dahlia bed. Mrs Drysdale hires Mr Ted to plant her dahlias. Elly's chimp steals the stakes for the plants, When Mrs Drysdale sees Granny with the wooden stake she thinks Granny stole the wood. They struggle with the wood by the 'pond' & Granny falls in.    Mr Ted arrives to start preparing the dahlia beds & Granny peeks through the fence & sees what she thinks are graves with each of their names on it.

Miss Jane catches Elly's chimp red-handed & explains to Mrs Drysdale that the chimp was responsible for the missing wood.    Granny's fears aren't realised when told the 'graves' are actually dahlia beds, each one named after the Clampetts.

The Dahlia Feud

Jed Clampett's swamp is loaded with oil. When a wildcatter discovers the huge pool, Jed sells his land to the O.K. Oil Company and at the urging of cousin Pearl, moves his family to a 35-room mansion in Beverly Hills, California.

The Marriage Machine

Seasons9

Season 5 Episodes30

Cast6

Discussion

Episode Summary