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The Best Episodes of The Brittas Empire

Every episode of The Brittas Empire ranked from best to worst. Let's dive into the Best Episodes of The Brittas Empire!

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The Brittas Empire is a British sitcom created and originally written by Andrew Norriss and Richard Fegen. Chris Barrie plays Gordon Brittas, the well-meaning but incompetent manager of Whitbury New Town Leisure Centre. The show ran

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Episode Rankings

  1. #1 Fan Favorite
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    The Brittas Empire Season 1 Episode 6 - Assassin
    9.0/10(95 votes)

    #1 - Assassin

    S1:E6

    Someone is out to kill Gordon, injuring Helen by accident after sabotaging Gordon's brakes, and wants Gavin to help him with the foul deed. Gordon and a few others are taken to the hospital's intensive care unit, badly injured by a lorry hitting Gordon as he walked across a zebra crossing.

    Director:Mike Stephens
    Writers:Andrew Norriss, Richard Fegen

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  2. The Brittas Empire Season 2 Episode 4 - Set in Concrete
    9.0/10(85 votes)

    #2 - Set in Concrete

    S2:E4

    An argument with the Rotary Club results in them setting Gordon's feet in concrete. After frequent arguments break out, Gordon thinks the centre has sick building syndrome. A specialist arrives, and Laura is tasked with explaining to Gordon that he is the cause of the centre's problems. Laura proceeds to explain subtext and tone of voice to Gordon, after which he decides to return the moped bought for Helen and buy her a car instead, to her delight.

    Director:Mike Stephens
    Writers:Andrew Norriss, Richard Fegen

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  3. The Brittas Empire Season 3 Episode 1 - The Trial
    9.0/10(86 votes)

    #3 - The Trial

    S3:E1

    One of Gordon's enemies is coating random items with glue, and shady characters repeatedly appear in the centre. This leads to a massacre of several Bolivian drug dealers in the squash courts, the felling of several OAPs, and Gordon facing trial for drug running and multiple murders. Could Gordon's influence upon one of the criminals be enough to save his own skin?

    Director:Mike Stephens
    Writers:Andrew Norriss, Richard Fegen

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  4. The Brittas Empire Season 3 Episode 3 - Laura's Leaving
    9.0/10(78 votes)

    #4 - Laura's Leaving

    S3:E3

    Laura has an interview for manager of a leisure centre in London. Helen is worried that without Laura, she'll be unable to cope. A man is trying to get a cup of coffee with ever-increasing angst. A concussed Colin is sent to adjust the heating in the pool, leading to the electrocution of church members performing baptisms. Havoc escalates, including Carole getting fired. Will serenity prevail when Laura decides to return?

    Director:Mike Stephens
    Writers:Andrew Norriss, Richard Fegen

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  5. The Brittas Empire Season 1 Episode 2 - Opening Day
    8.0/10(101 votes)

    #5 - Opening Day

    S1:E2

    It's Opening Day at Whitbury Leisure Centre and Gordon is getting ready to meet the Duchess of Kent. But things are going wrong when the electric doors aren't working properly and the water from the swimming pool is disappearing and the temperature rises. Will Gordon sort it all out before the Duchess of Kent arrives?

    Director:Mike Stephens
    Writers:Andrew Norriss, Richard Fegen

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  6. The Brittas Empire Season 1 Episode 3 - Bye Bye Baby
    8.0/10(98 votes)

    #6 - Bye Bye Baby

    S1:E3

    Carole has heard that her husband Derek is coming back, after abandoning her. After all these years she will not have to work, Ben will have a father and she will feel much better. Meanwhile her baby goes missing and reception is getting crowded. Gordon tells Colin to find the baby and return it. Unfortunately Colin ends up returning the wrong baby. Then Gordon thinks he's helping a man who has suffered from stress. Will everything go right?

    Director:Mike Stephens
    Writers:Andrew Norriss, Richard Fegen

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  7. The Brittas Empire Season 1 Episode 4 - Underwater Wedding
    8.0/10(96 votes)

    #7 - Underwater Wedding

    S1:E4

    While doing an interview with Beverly, Gordon realises that the best man at the underwater wedding taking place in the pool is in trouble. Gavin is asked to help and then a drunk disabled man in an electric wheelchair is on the loose causing havoc. Gordon is ready to stop the drunkard but ends up sending Gavin to hospital.

    Director:Mike Stephens
    Writers:Andrew Norriss, Richard Fegen

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  8. The Brittas Empire Season 1 Episode 5 - Stop Thief!
    8.0/10(95 votes)

    #8 - Stop Thief!

    S1:E5

    Things have gone missing and Gordon has closed the centre for the day. He explains that there could be a thief about and sets a trap to catch him. The plan is to hide in a locker and see who takes the bait (his wallet). Meanwhile Helen is suffering more stress then ever and takes Gordon to see the doctor, leaving Colin to hide in the locker. As long as Gordon remembers he's left Colin in there!

    Director:Mike Stephens
    Writers:Andrew Norriss, Richard Fegen

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  9. The Brittas Empire Season 2 Episode 1 - Back from the Dead
    8.0/10(83 votes)

    #9 - Back from the Dead

    S2:E1

    Gordon is away at a conference in Bulgaria. Meanwhile the Leisure Centre is low on visitors, then news spreads that Gordon is dead. Everyone is happy and the centre is pouring with visitors. All goes well until Gordon returns which shocks everyone, especially Carole who thinks Gordon is back from the dead.

    Director:Mike Stephens
    Writers:Andrew Norriss, Richard Fegen

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  10. The Brittas Empire Season 2 Episode 2 - Temple of the Body
    8.0/10(83 votes)

    #10 - Temple of the Body

    S2:E2

    Gordon explains to the staff about worshipping other people's temples - his euphemism for the human body. He then finds a cupboard is being slept in when finding a duvet cover sticking out, then Gavin's hat turns up. Gordon tells Tim, who gets cross when he thinks Gavin is sleeping in the centre with someone. Gordon decides to find out what Gavin is up to and lays a bug in Linda's top so he can listen in. But Gordon is shocked at who is actually using the cupboard.

    Director:Mike Stephens
    Writers:Andrew Norriss, Richard Fegen

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  11. The Brittas Empire Season 2 Episode 3 - An Inspector Calls
    8.0/10(84 votes)

    #11 - An Inspector Calls

    S2:E3

    An inspector is coming over and Gordon wants everything to be as good as gold for when he gets to the Leisure Centre. However, Gordon then has to deal with a pigeon in the gymnasium. Ideas to remove it go from bad to worse. It's also Helen's birthday and Gordon has bought her a moped, about which she is far from thrilled. What will happen when the inspector makes his inspection?

    Director:Mike Stephens
    Writers:Andrew Norriss, Richard Fegen

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  12. The Brittas Empire Season 2 Episode 6 - Safety First
    8.0/10(80 votes)

    #12 - Safety First

    S2:E6

    Gordon is running a practice fire drill and makes it more complicated than ever. Meanwhile, Helen is planning a picnic in Gordon's office and wants him there. Gordon tries to convince Councillor Dapping of the need for a new fire escape by describing an extreme scenario. Dapping isn't convinved, but could Gordon's example prove prophetic?

    Director:Mike Stephens
    Writers:Andrew Norriss, Richard Fegen

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  13. The Brittas Empire Season 3 Episode 2 - That Creeping Feeling
    8.0/10(82 votes)

    #13 - That Creeping Feeling

    S3:E2

    Offended by Gordon's "individual figure and fitness targets", the staff refuse to speak to him; his diplomatic response is to bring in a psychiatrist to check staff anxiety levels. The psychiatrist tells Gordon that he is the cause of his staff's stress. A deadly tropical spider bites Colin and Gordon sucks out the poison. Considering where the bite was, the staff can't fail having a new-found respect.

    Director:Mike Stephens
    Writers:Andrew Norriss, Richard Fegen

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  14. The Brittas Empire Season 3 Episode 4 - Two Little Boys
    8.0/10(78 votes)

    #14 - Two Little Boys

    S3:E4

    Gordon's brother, Reverend Horatio Brittas, visits for the centre's anniversary celebrations, and 36 staff from a Guildford leisure centre visit for their annual staff outing, intent upon making Gordon the focus of their amusement. The oil tank is leaking so Colin decides to store the oil in the weights room. What could go wrong?

    Director:Mike Stephens
    Writers:Andrew Norriss, Richard Fegen

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  15. The Brittas Empire Season 3 Episode 6 - The Stuff of Dreams
    8.0/10(74 votes)

    #15 - The Stuff of Dreams

    S3:E6

    Troubled by dreams about his own mortality and his legacy, Gordon is pushing age awareness and disguises himself as an elderly man as an experiment, resulting in a fight with a pensioner in reception. Helen goes into labour early and wants Laura to drive her to hospital, but Gordon is behind the wheel. After the pensioner from reception accidentally drives into Gordon's car at low speed, medical students come to Helen's aid in Whitbury High Street.

    Director:Mike Stephens
    Writers:Andrew Norriss, Richard Fegen

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  16. The Brittas Empire Season 1 Episode 1 - Laying the Foundations
    7.0/10(117 votes)

    #16 - Laying the Foundations

    S1:E1

    Gordon Brittas is the manager at Whitbury Leisure Centre. Builders are working in the car-park but Gordon is very rude to one of them and they go on strike. He causes more trouble when he upsets one of the staff and he's in for it when he is having a meeting with the staff.

    Director:Unknown
    Writer:Unknown

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  17. The Brittas Empire Season 2 Episode 7 - New Generations
    7.0/10(77 votes)

    #17 - New Generations

    S2:E7

    A pregnant cow loose in the centre eats some of Colin's leaves, which speed up labour. It gives birth on the squash courts, assisted by a gynaecologist. Carole has also eaten some of the leaves, and her twins are delivered by the vet who had come to assist the bovine mother-to-be. Helen tells Laura that she is pregnant with twins and although Carole was too worse for wear to know the father of her twins, Helen does!

    Director:Mike Stephens
    Writers:Andrew Norriss, Richard Fegen

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  18. The Brittas Empire Season 3 Episode 5 - Sex, Lies and Red Tape
    7.0/10(78 votes)

    #18 - Sex, Lies and Red Tape

    S3:E5

    Laura's estranged husband, Michael T. Farrell, arrives at the centre two and a half years after the couple split up. He wants her to have his child, because being a father is a condition of his inheriting his family's fortune. Gordon is unhappy and endeavours to get rid of him, despite being on a sponsored silence. He is horrified to learn that Helen is about to be charged with shoplifting and that she had been convicted of the same crime several times before she met him. The staff are interested in the draft of a novel that Carole has written.

    Director:Mike Stephens
    Writers:Andrew Norriss, Richard Fegen

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  19. The Brittas Empire Season 2 Episode 5 - Mums and Dads
    6.0/10(82 votes)

    #19 - Mums and Dads

    S2:E5

    A concert is to be held at Whitbury Leisure Centre. Also, Gordon's dad Jim has come to the centre with a piano. But Gordon is expecting a grand piano, which is going to be havoc getting through to the gymnasium. Petrov, who is going to be performing, then encounters a problem when Jim drops his piano from the stairs. Who will perform now?

    Director:Mike Stephens
    Writers:Andrew Norriss, Richard Fegen

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  20. The Brittas Empire Season 5 Episode 4 - The Lies Have It
    1.0/10(76 votes)

    #20 - The Lies Have It

    S5:E4

    Gordon is explaining safety at the building site for a new room. Michael T. Farrell comes for a job which Gordon isn't keen to give but gives Michael an application form. Carole is upset because no-one remembered her birthday. Michael tells Gordon there was a party to cover for himself and Helen. News soon spreads among staff as Gordon investigates, but Colin thinks the party was real and he was not invited.

    Director:Mike Stephens
    Writers:Andrew Norriss, Richard Fegen

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  21. The Brittas Empire Season 4 Episode 1 - Not a Good Day...
    0.0/10(81 votes)

    #21 - Not a Good Day...

    S4:E1

    It's Life Cycle Week at Whitbury Newtown Leisure Centre and Sebastian Coe MP has come to broadcast the news. Then trouble ensues when a cyclist dies, naturally upsetting his wife; and young Ben makes his way into the vents, with Carole and Helen trying to get him out. Then a centurion has a fight with Gordon because his son has been arrested, which escalates to the Classical War Society starting war against the entire centre.

    Director:Mike Stephens
    Writers:Andrew Norriss, Richard Fegen

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  22. The Brittas Empire Season 4 Episode 2 - The Christening
    0.0/10(75 votes)

    #22 - The Christening

    S4:E2

    Gordon and Helen are having their twins baptised. The rehearsal goes wrong and Carole ruins the christening cake - but can she disguise it? Meanwhile Horatio tells Gordon he's in love with a girl he has met, then the babies go missing. Will the christening go as planned?

    Director:Mike Stephens
    Writers:Andrew Norriss, Richard Fegen

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  23. The Brittas Empire Season 4 Episode 3 - Biggles Tells a Lie
    0.0/10(79 votes)

    #23 - Biggles Tells a Lie

    S4:E3

    It's Gordon's day off and Colin has dressed like Brittas, pretending to be manager. Colin's daughter Stephanie is coming to see her father. Everyone agrees to play along and soon everything is running well - until Gordon turns up!

    Director:Mike Stephens
    Writers:Andrew Norriss, Richard Fegen

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  24. The Brittas Empire Season 4 Episode 4 - Mr Brittas Changes Trains
    0.0/10(73 votes)

    #24 - Mr Brittas Changes Trains

    S4:E4

    Things are getting rather strange at Whitbury Newtown Leisure Centre. Carole seems to be croaking a lot while talking, Linda does nothing but bark about a lot and keeps talking in dog language and Colin keeps telling everyone that he loves them and keeps taking his trousers off. All of this is making Gordon very cross so he decides to call the hypnotist and put everyone back to normal. This then gets Laura thinking.

    Director:Mike Stephens
    Writers:Andrew Norriss, Richard Fegen

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  25. The Brittas Empire Season 4 Episode 5 - Playing With Fire
    0.0/10(76 votes)

    #25 - Playing With Fire

    S4:E5

    Gordon is doing a survey on how much electricity is being used and prepares a lot of forms for the staff. Colin meanwhile does an experiment which involves using the lavatories. Then Gavin gets a big shock when his old girlfriend Jenny comes to the centre to see him - then realises that she came from a clinic.

    Director:Mike Stephens
    Writers:Andrew Norriss, Richard Fegen

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Best Episodes Summary

"Assassin" is the best rated episode of "The Brittas Empire". It scored 9/10 based on 95 votes. Directed by Mike Stephens and written by Andrew Norriss, Richard Fegen, it aired on 2/14/1991. This episode scored 0.0 points higher than the second highest rated, "Set in Concrete".