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An woman secretly plans to have a child as a 30th anniversery gift for her husband, even though he is ecstatic over their new-found freedom in being retired and, especially, having their older children grown and out of the house; Julie sneakily sets Honey Bee, an old high school friend who always tried to steal her boyfriends, after Gopher (newly smitten with a girl ashore) so that she can concentrate on a handsome new officer; Captain Stubbing wears his hat everywhere in an attempt to keep an old high school flame from finding out he is bald, and she thinks he has a full head of hair because she saw him hatless when he was wearing a toupe for a shipboard costume party.

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A young girl who's infatuated with Gopher pretends to be her older sister. An artist meets a unhappily married guy. And the ship's comic runs into the wife and daughter he left years ago.

Doc's nephew is making a move on his girlfriend. A psychiatrist, who is on vacation is followed by four of his patients. An actor pursues the writer of a soap opera, who rejected for a role on her show.

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On this Thanksgiving cruise, a father and his adopted son try to evade the boys biological father by escaping to Mexico; an older couple plan to travel with their daughter and her fiance who, unknown to them, is crippled; the smooth operation of the ship suffers as one by one the entire crew, after trading a bevy of insults, ends up not speaking with one another.

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The crew are in Greece working a cruise where a College is having its graduation ceremony. The Principal is attracted to a teacher who rebuffs him because he won't give a student a make-up test so he can graduate. And the student and a couple of his friends are hounding the Principal to do that. A prodigy is attracted to Vicki which doesn't make the Captain happy. And the valedictorian whose education was provided by his Greek aunt whom he assumed is wealthy but upon meeting her learns she's just a woman of humble means. And when she goes on board he doesn't tell anyone he's her aunt. And Isaac meets a woman who is estranged from her husband.

Conclusion. Capt. Stubing's daughter falls in love. A beloved crew member decides to leave the ship.

On this Valentine's Day cruise, a singing valentine ""pussycat"" falls for a stuck-up guy who has just been dumped by his girlfriend; the owner of a secretarial agency plays secretary to a writer taking a working vacation, even though he is far better at romancing her than he is at taking dictation and typing up her notes; a womanizing pro football player falls for a snooty, straight-laced college English professor.

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A desperate 23-year old virgin wants to spend the night with a handsome fellow she meets on board, but in the end decides she will hold off until the time is right; a bratty adopted teenager finds out that the assistant bartender that he has been harassing is actually his long lost older brother; the entire crew chips in to help April get ready to take her U.S. citizenship test despite her severe test anxiety.

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