No description available

No description available

No description available

No description available

No description available

No description available

No description available

No description available

No description available

No description available

No description available

No description available

When faced with problems such as dead whales and snoring, who do you turn to? God? Magic? Nope, in situations like these you turn to good old-fashioned science. Just remember, no one is suggesting that science will always gets you the results you want. Tonight's guests are great examples of applied science at its most blunt but effective.

With the Internet, alienation is a thing of the past. Always had an inexplicable yearning to be covered in jam? Put ""jam fetish"" in Google and you get 74 results. There might not be tons of you out there, but the Internet has given all 74 of you the chance to get together for a breakfast the likes of which none of you will ever forget. Tonight's guests celebrate those connections. With the Internet, you'll never be lonely again.

Tonight is officially geek night. If you're not a geek, you're a loser. Geeks keep your computers running. They design your cars, economic policy, and, well, most of the world. But they have some problems. It's hard to find things they're interested in on TV. Most of the stuff is too mundane and childish for them. Well we've got you covered. The other big problem is dating. Sure, you might be single simply because you're too interested in cataloging beetle species to get a date, but sometimes situations come up where you need to fake it. Don't worry, we have that covered too. So sit back, tear your eyes away from those bugs for a second, and watch the show.

Screw the skeptics. Pundits bitch that people aren't talking or communicating anymore, but they're dead wrong. People are communicating more than ever, but in new ways. All of tonight's guests are on the cutting edge of these new communication mediums. While the critics gripe, every day people are using the Internet to share information, enhance personal relationships and to learn more about what it means to be human.

If you want to stay in the mollified comfort of your own little weak-ass world, don't watch tonight's show. If you don't want to learn the truth about the moon landing, that's fine. If you don't want to be able to harness the awesome might of radionic energy, that's cool. Stay broke, lonely, and unknown. You can just sit there with your head in the sand. But remember, if you have your head in the sand, your ass is sticking out, just waiting to be kicked.

There really aren't any ways to cover up your secrets anymore. The world is too connected and we haven't figured out how to keep things secret. Tonight's show is all about bringing those secrets to the light of day. Celebrities try to hide the shame of skin blemishes with makeup, but our guest is trained at discovering what they'd rather hide. Plus the D-Tipper is going to show you how to crack into wireless video-camera systems.

Sex can be great. It can be a way to physically express your love or just have a good time. It can also be an utterly horrible, embarrassing experience that makes you want to pack up your genitals and put them in storage. Tonight we're talking about both. The good, the bad, and the so bad it's sparked an international lawsuit with a British tabloid. Oh, and the Dark Tipper will teach you how to make a beer catapult.

Tonight's guests flex the muscle of their Yankee ingenuity. That's what this country was founded on. Ingenuity. We're a country of outside-the-box thinkers. We look for unique ways to solve problems, even if we need to fly in the face of conventional social values. Like say you've plagued got no money. People in other countries become working stiffs, but our guest saw a way out and took it. Even though it caused a ruckus. Our second guest wanted to play a trick on his friend. Unlike the Europeans or the Africans, to this fellow the whoopie cushion was just too prosaic. So he took the gag to the levels of sheer lunacy for which our country has been celebrated.

Tonight's guest will show you how to beat the system. Isn't that what everyone wants? To slip the surly bonds that chain every other sucker to the grind. Well, according to our guests, freedom from what plagues you lies in tonight's show. If you're poor, or just plagued by some seriously stanky breath, our guests have the answers you're looking for. Hell, you could be poor and suffering from stanky breath, our advice is good for everyone. Except the lepers, sorry folks, there's just nothing we can do about lepers.

Our guests are great examples of how the Internet is the great equalizer. Used to be there was no way for the little guy to have his voice heard over the din of big media. Now, if you say something really worthwhile, it can be picked up and sent around the world in a matter of minutes. One guest did something so worthwhile, it got a gigantic company pounding on his door with a cease-and-desist order. The other guest took a crowbar and pried the giant gleaming rock of Hollywood up to get a gander at the slime underneath.

There must be rules, and when the rules are broken, there must be punishment. The Bible says, ""An eye for an eye."" Well I ask you this: What kind of transgression deserves having a penis drawn on your face in permanent marker? Because this punishment is being handed out hither and yon. One of our guests will explain the rules that made Penischeek.com a reality. Our other guest is tasked by the federal government to keep track of hoaxes. I wonder in awe at the kind of punishments they'd hand out. Do you think our guests will get together and create the bitchin'-est ever deterrent for the jerks who make virus hoaxes?

Rip-snorting fun. Belly-bursting joviality. We promise nothing but the most painful, eye-blistering, eardrum-popping good time. And you better like it too, because if you don't, we'll send a 350-pound gorilla in a tuxedo to your house to dislocate your fingers until you learn the true meaning of comedy. Remember, dying is easy, comedy is hard, and tonight's show will teach you a lesson you'll never forget.

We've got human calculators, celebrity impersonators, and hot camwhores. Think of tonight's show as a porned-out ""Beautiful Mind."" The Human Calculator is here to demonstrate why he holds a record from Guinness. Plus we'll show you how you can have your favorite celebrity crank-call your favorite friends. All this and a handful of ladies who make a living with their bodies, but battle with their minds.