The Best Episodes Written By Graham Linehan

Episode Rankings

1. #1 Fan Favorite
   

   9.3/10(3 votes)

   #1 - A Christmassy Ted

   S0:E112/24/1996

   Father Ted, Father Dougal and six other priests take a wrong turn while Christmas shopping and end up lost in the lingerie section of a huge department store.

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   Writer:Graham Linehan

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   Writer:Graham Linehan
2. 

   9.0/10(7 votes)

   #2 - Cigarettes and Alcohol and Rollerblading

   S2:E84/26/1996

   Ted and co. enter a giving-things-up-for-Lent contest and soon discover that abstinence is easier preached than done. Father Jack sobers up for the first time in years, but Dougal and Ted find their resolve wavering. To strengthen their vows Ted calls in a nun to supervise them. She turns out to be a sadist of the first water, and the results are inevitable.

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   Writer:Graham Linehan

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   Writer:Graham Linehan
3. 

   8.9/10(11 votes)

   #3 - A Song for Europe

   S2:E54/5/1996

   Fathers Ted and Dougal enter A Song For Europe with My Lovely Horse. The tune is stolen from the b-side of a Norwegian song that didn't even win A Song For Norway but the lyrics are all their own work. Somehow they get through to Eurovision and score.... nil points.

   Director:N/A

   Writer:Graham Linehan

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   Writer:Graham Linehan
4. 

   8.9/10(54 votes)

   #4 - The Work Outing

   S2:E18/24/2007

   Jen is asked out on a date by Philip, and Roy and Moss decide to tag along, which ruins any chance of romance Jen was hoping for.

   Director:N/A

   Writer:Graham Linehan

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   Writer:Graham Linehan
5. 

   8.9/10(7 votes)

   #5 - Tentacles of Doom

   S2:E33/21/1996

   The Holy Stone of Clonrichert is to be upgraded to a class 2 relic, and unfortunately this entails three Bishops visiting the island - Father Jack must be housetrained quickly. Only one of the bishops dies - Ted therefore considers this to have been a relatively successful visit.

   Director:N/A

   Writer:Graham Linehan

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   Writer:Graham Linehan
6. 

   8.8/10(12 votes)

   #6 - New Jack City

   S2:E95/3/1996

   After discovering Father Jack is suffering yet again(!) from "hairy hand syndrome," Ted is delighted to send Jack, by "doctor's orders," to St. Clabberts Old Folks Home (otherwise known as 'Jurassic Park'). Unfortunately, Jack's replacement happens to be one of the nastiest priests ever - Father Fintan Stack. Along with his disregard for the church, Stack has a rather irritating habit of playing jungle music loudly at 3 o'clock in the morning, and a plan is hatched to get Jack back to sort out Stack.

   Director:N/A

   Writer:Graham Linehan

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7. 

   8.7/10(6 votes)

   #7 - Competition Time

   S1:E45/12/1995

   It's the 'All Priests Stars In Their Eyes Lookalike Competition', and showbusiness personality Henry Sellers, a former alcoholic, has landed on the island to host the festivities. Father Ted is determined not to go as Mother Teresa again, but he isn't the only one to think of Elvis. It takes some quick thinking to beat Father Byrne's team from nearby Rugged Island.

   Director:N/A

   Writer:Graham Linehan

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8. 

   8.6/10(11 votes)

   #8 - The Plague

   S2:E64/12/1996

   Rabbit-phobic Bishop Brennan pays a visit to investigate reports of Father Jack sleepwalking naked. Unfortunately Dougal has overrun the house with rabbits, and a Terry & June-style farce ensues as Ted and Dougal attempt to keep Father Jack in bed, and the ever-multiplying rabbits away from the bishop.

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   Writer:Graham Linehan

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9. 

   8.5/10(6 votes)

   #9 - Flight Into Terror

   S2:E105/10/1996

   Ted and co. end up crammed in an aeroplane along with every other priest who has appeared in their lives after a visit to the Shrine of Kinlettle. In a usual fit of stupidity, Dougal manages to empty the fuel tanks on the plane. To make matters worse, there are only two parachutes, so Ted devises a way for the priests to compete for the parachutes. Unfortunately, Jack has other plans.

   Director:N/A

   Writer:Graham Linehan

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10. 

    8.5/10(11 votes)

    #10 - Are You Right There Father Ted?

    S3:E13/15/1998

    Ted finally escapes to a new posting at Castlelawn Parochial House, Dublin, with civilised company and frequent jaunts to Paris. Unfortunately a slight misunderstanding over some expenses sends Ted back to his old compadres on the island. After a spot of lads' housecleaning results in Ted being mistakenly tarred as a racist, Ted holds a celebration of Chinese culture to clear his name - though 'Kung Fu Fighting' may not have been an inspired choice of soundtrack. Just when it looks like a happy ending might be in store, a mix-up over some soft furnishings and Nazi memorabilia leaves the Chinese community with a sweet 'n' sour taste in the mouth.

    Director:N/A

    Writer:Graham Linehan

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11. 

    8.4/10(8 votes)

    #11 - Good Luck, Father Ted

    S1:E14/21/1995

    Ted gets his chance to be on TV when he is to be interviewed by a magazine programme. But 'FunLand', the most pathetic travelling fair ever conceived has come to Craggy Island, and while Ted is distracted with Father Jack, Dougal seizes his moment of glory.

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    Writer:Graham Linehan

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12. 

    8.3/10(40 votes)

    #12 - The Speech

    S3:E412/12/2008

    Jen makes enemies of Roy and Moss after trying to assert herself more after being named as Employee of the Month. Douglas discovers that the woman who he loves is not quite as she seems.

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    Writer:Graham Linehan

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13. 

    8.3/10(14 votes)

    #13 - Old Grey Whistle Theft

    S2:E43/29/1996

    Ted goes on a picnic, Mr Benson's whistle is stolen and Dougal learns an important lesson about true friendship. Ted narrowly avoids incriminating himself to save Dougal's worthless hide

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    Writer:Graham Linehan

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14. 

    8.3/10(12 votes)

    #14 - Think Fast, Father Ted

    S2:E23/15/1996

    The roof of the Parochial House is leaking, and Ted decides on a raffle to raise the funds, with a car as the prize. Unfortunately, an accident with a cyclist puts something of a dent in the vehicle. A similar car is borrowed from the Dancing Priest in order to save the raffle; however, the priests must then win in order to return the car. Despite this intrigue, the roof does not get repaired.

    Director:N/A

    Writer:Graham Linehan

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15. 

    8.2/10(28 votes)

    #15 - The Internet Is Coming

    S0:E19/27/2013

    The reputation of Reynholm Industries is put at risk after an incident involving spilt coffee and a homeless person ends up being posted on the Internet. When Douglas shares the secret of his confidence, a newly transformed Moss comes up with a plan to help Jen and Roy but everything seems too good to be true.

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    Writer:Graham Linehan

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16. 

    8.2/10(6 votes)

    #16 - The Passion of Saint Tibulus

    S1:E35/5/1995

    The local cinema is showing a film condemned by the Church for its X-rated and blasphemous depiction of Saint Tibulus. Bishop Brennan is dispatched to the island to ensure that the priests take to the picket line in protest. But their defiant stand only gives more publicity to the film, which becomes an overnight success. It is left to Father Jack to stop the Bishop from sending them packing.

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    Writer:Graham Linehan

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17. 

    8.1/10(35 votes)

    #17 - Friendface

    S3:E512/19/2008

    The boys are introduced to a social networking website by Jen.  Through the site they get in touch with old acquaintances to which they brag a little bit too much, which leads to awkward situations.

    Director:N/A

    Writer:Graham Linehan

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18. 

    8.1/10(8 votes)

    #18 - And God Created Woman

    S1:E55/19/1995

    A blossoming romance between Father Ted and steamy novelist Polly Clarke threatens to come between a group of visiting nuns and their favourite priest. Among other things, Ted delivers an entire service in a matter of milliseconds, and becomes involved in an armed robbery.

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    Writer:Graham Linehan

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19. 

    8.0/10(14 votes)

    #19 - Manny's First Day

    S1:E210/6/2000

    After Manny’s help with the tax return Bernard is persuaded to hire him in the shop. Unfortunately he actually sells some books, much to Bernard’s annoyance.

    Director:N/A

    Writer:Graham Linehan

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20. 

    8.0/10(10 votes)

    #20 - Kicking Bishop Brennan up the Arse

    S3:E64/17/1998

    A lost bet with Dick Byrne means Ted has to kick Bishop Brennan up the arse. On cue, Len arrives with PA Father Jessup, the world's most sarcastic priest. Elaborate preparations, a camera, a skirting board, a set of watercolours and some psychological warfare on Ted's part ensure a successful outcome. Or do they?

    Director:N/A

    Writer:Graham Linehan

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21. 

    8.0/10(7 votes)

    #21 - Entertaining Father Stone

    S1:E24/28/1995

    The world's most boring priest comes to stay, and he just won't go away. After his worst ever birthday party, Father Ted prays for deliverance from Father Stone, but a lightning strike wasn't what he expected.

    Director:N/A

    Writer:Graham Linehan

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22. 

    8.0/10(2 votes)

    #22 - The Caretaker

    S1:E612/12/2017

    Julia's childcare woes are over when she finds the perfect nanny, but her friendship with Liz becomes strained. Amanda keeps a low profile after Kevin blurts out her secret.

    Director:N/A

    Writer:Graham Linehan

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23. 

    7.9/10(41 votes)

    #23 - The Dinner Party

    S2:E49/14/2007

    Jen's attempt to throw a successful dinner party don't go exactly the way she was hoping. The evening isn't a total disaster for everyone, though, as Richmond meets the woman of his dreams.

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    Writer:Graham Linehan

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24. 

    7.9/10(39 votes)

    #24 - Moss and the German

    S2:E39/7/2007

    Moss decides to sign himself up for a German cookery course, but due to a slight miscommunication between Moss and the advertiser, it turns out to be something else entirely. Roy tries to see a film before someone can spoil the ending for him. Jen finds out smoking is not as glamorous as she used to think.

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    Writer:Graham Linehan

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25. 

    7.9/10(7 votes)

    #25 - Speed 3

    S3:E33/27/1998

    Ted and Dougal turn detective to discover who's behind the bumper crop of hairy babies on Craggy Island. However when justice is done on the culprit he takes a terrible revenge. Dougal's moonlighting stint as island milkman is marred by a bomb set to go off if the milk float drops below 4mph. Does 'The Poseidon Adventure' hold the key to his rescue, or would Father Jack's pet brick come in more useful?

    Director:N/A

    Writer:Graham Linehan

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